Urban Fantasy Collection - Vampires

by Adrian Phoenix

  “This ain’t football,” I complained. “What the hell are you guys—” They dumped the cooler over my head. It burned like acid. Holy water. I think they thought it would kill me. It was a good try. It would have worked on a Soldier, or possibly on a Master, but as I keep trying to remind everyone, I’m a Vlad and we are damn near indestructible.

  “I am so fucking killing you guys,” I said as my skin peeled away and caught fire. Holy water is powerful stuff. It ate right through my clothes, my skin, through the bone, mixing with my liquid remains and flowing out onto the ice like gruesome pancake batter.

  The blood wine I’d spewed mixed with the puddle of water and with, well, me, turning the mixture into a bubbling red mess, with smoke pouring off the top as I sizzled and popped like a fried egg. I knew I was going to survive, but a vampire who has been melted is in bad shape even if it doesn’t send him to the great beyond. We need blood to re-form. Fortunately for me, I was lying in a puddle of it.

  As the holy water boiled away, the smoke stopped and bit by bit the grotesque liquefied mass developed solid chunks, drawing in on itself. I floated above the ice, looking down on my body, detached and clearheaded, glowing that same ghostly blue I’d been the one time I tried to turn to mist.

  Being melted was pretty damn low on my list of sobriety quick fixes, but it did the job. My bones re-formed first. One of the werewolves rammed another hockey stick through my ribs where my heart was going to be. I guess he thought the stick was made of wood, but it was some high-tech plastic. Plastic doesn’t do dick.

  My body lay naked on the ice and I found myself drawn back into it, momentarily disoriented, but regaining my senses just fast enough to pull the stick out of my chest before my clothes came back.

  It’s good to be a badass. Using my anger as a focus, I turned into a bat. It took longer than usual and felt different, like when your dick falls asleep because your underwear is too tight and there is that long agonizing wait followed by a pins and needles sensation exactly where you never want one. I flew out over the rink and landed in the stands. When I changed shape again, my clothes were back. I’d instinctively regenerated my usual outfit, but at the high price of what felt like every last drop of blood in my body.

  I missed the Howlers jersey, but it was okay. I was over them. Now these assholes had it coming. They’d lured me back to the locker room with Roger’s unwitting help, used me as a hockey puck, and been the first group of people to ever melt me down with holy water. Worst of all, they’d made me sit through a piss-poor game of hockey. There is no excuse for bad hockey.

  They’d make it up to me though. I was hungry.

  This time, I wouldn’t make the mistake of holding back like I had with the guys who’d wrecked my Mustang. I was tired of talking, and at this point the hunger wouldn’t have let me hold back anyway. I felt the blackout coming, bitter and cold like winter rain. Yep, these jerks had it coming. They had it coming Dracula style.

  As my vision started to blur, I hovered at the edge of awareness just long enough to make one last taunt. “So are you motherfuckers going to come and get me or do I have to hang a steak around my neck?”

  13

  TABITHA:

  HIDDEN DEPTHS

  The whole no-reflection thing was really starting to grate on my nerves. I needed mirrors. There is only so much a girl can tell about how she looks by craning her neck and bending over backward. The other girls were busy, so I did the best I could on my own and then called up front to ask Talbot if he had a few minutes to come to the back.

  “Why?”

  “I need someone to check my makeup and stuff; the other girls were busy, so I tried to do it myself, but—”

  “Ten minutes.” He laughed and hung up.

  While I waited, I finished up the second pint of blood he’d brought me earlier. It tasted a little funny, but I didn’t want to have to argue with Talbot over it when he came back to check me out. I was tired of being cooped up in the club and I wanted to go outside for a while after my set. After I finished the blood, I still had five minutes to wait, so I practiced popping my claws and making my eyes glow. It was cool and all, but I wanted to know more about what I could do. I wondered what would happen if I used a power that I didn’t know how to undo. What if I turned into a bat and got stuck that way?

  When Talbot came into the bedroom, I retracted my claws and let my eyes turn back to normal.

  His smell wasn’t human and it was thrilling to be near him, to not know what he was. He looked me up and down and I studied him in return.

  “You look fine,” he said. He turned and started to leave again.

  “Wait. Talbot, do you have a few minutes?”

  He looked at me over his shoulder. “Why?”

  “I wanted to try and figure out what other powers I have.” I walked over to the dresser and fiddled with my hairbrush. He showed up clearly in the mirror even though my reflection would have been blocking his.

  He closed the door and turned back to me. “You don’t need me to do that.”

  I looked down at the brush in my hand. It was silver. For a moment, I was lost in the shiny surface. My grandmother had left it to me when she’d died. She had always intended it for Rachel, but cancer had taken my sister away from us earlier than anyone could have expected. She was so angry at the end, she blamed me for not finding a way to save her.

  “I’m afraid,” I admitted.

  Talbot came closer, put his hand near my shoulder, and then pulled it away. I could feel the heat of him behind me. It was like standing with my back to the fire on a cold winter day. I leaned into him involuntarily and closed my eyes. “You feel so warm.”

  Gentle, but firm, he pushed me away from him. I was off balance and I almost didn’t catch myself. Something was wrong. “You don’t want to play the kind of games I like, Tabitha,” he told me softly.

  How embarrassing! Did I have to throw myself at every warm-bodied man that crossed my path? I shivered. “I’m sorry. It just feels so cold.”

  “You’ll get used to it.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and I realized that it was the first time that I had ever seen Talbot sit down. He was always leaning on things, but never actually sitting.

  “So how do I do it?” I asked.

  “Do what?”

  I put down the brush and threw my hands up in the air. “Do anything! I’ve read lots of books, but it isn’t something that Eric ever talked about. I could ask Roger, but—”

  “You don’t want Eric to get jealous.” He nodded. “I get you. Which do you like best: bats, cats, fleas, wolves, frogs, or do you want to try for something funky, like a virus?”

  I turned around and leaned up against the dresser. “What?”

  “You don’t know yet how powerful you are. If you’re a Soldier or a Drone, you might only be able to do the first one you try, or you might not be able to do any of them. You might not get a choice, but if you do get a choice and you can only do one…” He shrugged. “Well, they say that’s what happened to Froggy.”

  “So, it’d better be one that I like,” I mused. “Okay. Wait, a virus?”

  He laughed. When he did, I could tell that even with his fangs retracted, his canines were a little longer than normal. “It’s been done. I guess it was a good way to avoid hunters back in the day, but it sounds kind of gross to me.”

  “Can I try something else weird? Is there a bird, like a raven or something?”

  “Try it and see,” he urged.

  “Do I need to take my clothes off?”

  “Some do, but why don’t you just go ahead and try it with clothes for now.” He got up and walked around the room, arms outstretched like a big kid playing airplanes. “Close your eyes and think of yourself as a bird. See yourself flying over the city, like in a helicopter ride only the wind is underneath your wings. You aren’t in some metal cockpit. There is no glass between you and the air, no metal. It’s you, just you.”

  I spread my arms like he had done. A
t first I felt silly, but gradually, I really could see it. My body tightened, wrenching painfully in on itself, my skin an overfilled balloon that might pop any second, and then the wind was beneath my wings; I was free! It was so sudden that I screamed in surprise, but no human sound escaped my lips. It was a bird’s cry. I had done it! Of course, I didn’t know how to fly, so I fluttered to the ground. When I landed, I felt dizzy and confused, sick to my stomach. Talbot pounced, catching me between his hands and eyeing me closely with his fangs out and his cat eyes flashing. “Gotcha!”

  Willing myself back to human size didn’t work. I flapped my wings ineffectually and started pecking at his fingers with my beak. If I’d had fangs I would have bitten him. As it was, I tried for his eyes, but he was too far away.

  “If you’re a Master vampire,” he gloated, “you’ll be able to turn back even though I have you trapped. Just concentrate. Think about being humanoid. Picture yourself biting my hand or something.”

  It didn’t work. I couldn’t focus.

  “Try it. Picture yourself dancing onstage.”

  Nope.

  “All right,” he said as he set me down on the bed. “Try it now.”

  Instantly, I was myself again. “You bastard!”

  “The test isn’t definitive, but you’re probably a Soldier.” He stood up and grinned. “Care to try for a mouse?”

  I did not care to try for a mouse. Instead I tried for a cat. I pictured myself as a large gray kitty I’d had as a little girl. I loved that cat more than anybody in my family. I used to sit and pet him for hours and listen to him purr. He was the only thing that was mine and mine alone. He never let anyone else touch him, especially not Rachel. It was almost as if Mr. Fuzzy Bottom had some kind of never-ending feud with her. Cats in general didn’t like her; maybe they knew something I didn’t.

  The change was not as sudden as before; quick, but not instant, like a slow collapse into a nice warm ball of fur. It was a relief to be warm again. Talbot took a step away from the bed, his eyes wider than usual and his mouth open. I looked down at my paws. They were gray, just like Mr. Fuzzy Bottom’s. I preened myself at Talbot and gazed at him haughtily.

  “Okay, so maybe you are a Master vampire,” he allowed. “You could have been too panicked to make the change before.”

  Master vampire or not, I could turn into a bird and I could turn into a cat. My chest felt funny, though. It sort of vibrated. “Meow,” I told Talbot. “My chest feels funny,” is what I had meant to say. My heart was beating! I was breathing! I stumbled and accidentally sat down.

  “I’ll just bet it does,” Talbot whispered. He reached over and grabbed me, holding up my kitty-cat self to the mirror so that I could see my reflection.

  I could see my reflection!

  “Meow!” I said, meaning “Holy shit!”

  “Holy shit, indeed,” he said as he put me down on the dresser, in front of the mirror. I put a paw against the mirror and stared at myself. Even though it wasn’t the human me, just being able to show up in a mirror, to see a reflection that belonged to me, made me feel safe and warm inside. I rubbed up against the mirror and purred at myself.

  “Meow,” I said to myself, meaning “Hello, me.”

  Veruca opened the door and glanced around the room. Her makeup was sloppy and her shoes didn’t go with her dress. I could tell that she wasn’t happy.

  “What’s a cat doing in here?” Veruca asked. Talbot just looked at her. Veruca’s lip curled. “Tell Tabitha not to get too full of herself, Talbot. Just because she’s been turned, she’s nothing special. She’s supposed to go on in half an hour. Then it’s serving drinks and doing lap dances just like everybody else. I’m taking the night off.”

  “A little hard on your new sister in undeath, aren’t you?” Talbot asked. “As a matter of fact, since you’re here, she doesn’t have to go onstage at all….”

  Veruca flipped Talbot off and pulled up her shirt. Claw marks crisscrossed her stomach and from the look of them, they went around to the back.

  “What happened?” I meowed.

  “What happened?” Talbot repeated for me. Interesting. Talbot understood cat speak and Veruca didn’t. Was he a werecat? A weretiger? What else could he be?

  “None of your business, asshole!” Veruca slammed the door and stalked off down the hall. The sound echoed in my head. My vision blurred and for a moment there were two furry “me”s in the mirror.

  “Meow?” I said, and I had no idea what I meant. Something was definitely wrong.

  I rolled over on my back and swatted at the pretty rainbows and the colored lights that had appeared in the air. There was that same funny taste in my mouth, like the second pint of blood. In the distance I heard Talbot’s voice calling my name.

  The rainbows started moving faster and I tried harder to catch them. Then, I heard someone barfing. I wondered if it was me. At some point, I fell off of the dresser. Talbot caught me. The psychedelic swirling stopped, replaced by a vibration deep in my skull. There was a sound like when a monitor blinks out. My skin went numb all at once and little sparks danced in front of my eyes. Talbot blurred in hazy motion lines, faded, and then was gone completely.

  14

  TABITHA:

  THE SHOW MUST GO ON

  When I woke up, Talbot was snapping his fingers in front of my eyes and calling my name. I was wet and I was still a cat. The lights were too bright and my heart was beating in my ears. Was I drunk? Did vampires get drunk? Did cats get drunk? For that matter, why was my heart beating? I was breathing too fast and my skin was all tingly.

  “C’mon, Tabitha. Get up!” Talbot told me. I sneezed a pitiful cat sneeze at him and it made my head pound.

  “Meow,” I said, meaning, “God, I feel awful.”

  “It’s probably just transformation sickness,” Talbot explained. “Try turning back to normal and see if that helps.”

  It was hard to concentrate with my head pounding, but I managed it. It was even slower than before, my body chilling and expanding like a balloon slowly being filled with cold water. After a few minutes, I was myself again, panting on the floor. I even had clothes on. The dull ache in my head eased up and the world stopped spinning in circles.

  I blinked a few times, steadied myself, and stood up. “Okay. That was both awesome and shitty at the same time. So, what? I can turn into a cat, but only if I want to start tripping and then barf?”

  Talbot looked at my eyes closely. “Your eyes are dilated.” He held my right eye open with his fingers. “Okay, better. They’re normal now.”

  I started to rub my eye, but stopped myself when I remembered my eye shadow. I touched my cheek and looked reflexively to the mirror to check my makeup. No reflection. An inexplicable rage welled up inside of me and I turned on Talbot.

  “You better not have fucked up my makeup, asshole!” My claws were out before I even thought about extending them. I wanted to tear him apart, drink his blood, drain him dry, and then tear the pieces up when I was done. I knew my reaction was over the top, but I couldn’t explain what was happening. Talbot seemed just as surprised as I was, even more so because I had actually slashed his forearm with my claws, moving too fast for even Talbot to avoid. We both looked down at the blood.

  “I—” I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I opened my mouth to say it. Talbot wasn’t interesting in listening.

  “Your makeup is fine. Get your ass out there and do your job.” He walked into the bathroom and began washing the cuts out with soap and water.

  “Talbot?” I followed him into the bathroom, reaching out to him.

  “Just go, Tabitha!” he yelled. Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh. “Just go out and dance. We’ll talk about this later. I probably pushed you too hard.”

  Of course it was his fault, I cursed inwardly. Talbot was the one with experience. Talbot was supposed to know better, to teach me. I left the room and headed toward the stage. “Dumb, fucking asshole,” I said aloud.

  My emotions
were a mess. Edginess does not even begin to describe what I was feeling. Imagine that someone ran over your cat, and then backed into your new car trying to get away. Imagine that when the police came, the officer laughed and told you to buy a new cat. Picture how angry that would make you. I was that mad at everyone and everything, and I could not understand why.

  In the dressing room behind the stage, Candice and Sharon were getting ready to go serve drinks and sell lap dances. Sharon said hello and I flipped her off in response. She shrugged it off, but I could smell her anger.

  Candice looked up at me with that stupid innocent look she always gave to Eric. “Did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the grave this morning?”

  I don’t even remember hitting her. She just seemed to lift up out of her chair and fly backward through the air of her own accord. One of the mirrors shattered as she hit it and there was a blinding flash as the lights around it exploded. Bouncing off of the wall, she landed facedown on the floor. Shards of glass landed all around and over her, like glittery sprinkles. It was pretty in a violent, deadly sort of way. It was too much trouble to get to her throat with all the glass in the floor, so I leapt over her and landed on the steps leading up to the stage.

  I smiled back at Sharon and she froze, evidently hoping that if she stayed still, I’d leave her alone. “One word and I’ll put you right fucking next to her.” She was used to being around vampires and it probably saved her life. I’m sure she was terrified, but she knew better than to show it. It was one of the first things Eric told new girls. I’d been with him long enough to know how true it was: Fear was like a good marinade to a vampire. Running could get you killed. Hold still, submit, and you might have a chance.

  A weird taste played across my tongue, bitter and sweet at the same time. I knew I had tasted it before, but I couldn’t think clearly enough to figure out where. By the time I hit the stage I had all but forgotten about Candice. Jasmine was out there doing her Little Red Riding Hood routine, managing to look innocent and sexy all at once. Her long brown hair trailed behind her, down over the hood and cape. The light creamy texture of her skin stood out in perfect contrast to the bright red cape, a thin layer of baby oil glistening on her skin, her pink nipples hard and erect.