Shattered

by Jennifer K Thomas

  He doesn’t say anything but takes the cue. After unhooking my bra and sliding it off, he trails kisses down my spine until he reaches the hem of my panties. He hooks his fingers through the sides and slowly pulls them down. I step out of them, his hands trailing back up my legs as I do.

  “I want you to kneel on the bed,” he says in an authoritative voice. I look back to see him removing his shirt.

  “My shoes…”

  “Leave them.” He kicks off his shoes and tosses his wallet onto the bed. His pants and underwear come down in one movement. I enjoy the site his body flexing as he undresses. I continue to watch as he retrieves a condom from his wallet and puts it on. When he’s standing there naked and ready, he repeats his command. “On the bed.”

  I’m not usually a big fan of being told what to do, but in this moment, it’s definitely working for me. I climb onto the bed and Luke grabs my hips and pulls me closer to the edge. He moves his fingers between my legs until they find the spot that makes me moan.

  “I love that you’re ready for me.” He rubs my wetness around with his fingertips. “And I get so hard when you make sounds like that.”

  “Luke…” I pant as he pushes his fingers inside me.

  “Say it again.” Luke’s voice is ragged behind me. “Say my name again.”

  “Luke…” I breathe out. I’m already beginning to feel the pleasure building. This man knows exactly how to touch me and exactly what to say while he’s doing it.

  “Again.” He continues to work his fingers inside me and outside in a slow, rhythmic fashion. I’m right on the edge of my orgasm until he pauses for a moment before repeating the sweet buildup again.

  When I feel like I can’t take anymore my voice comes out hoarse. “Luke, I want you inside me.”

  Without hesitation Luke climbs on the bed and pushes me forward. He grabs my hips and thrusts into me. My body and mind are overwhelmed by him and I cry out. He thrusts again, but harder this time.

  He continues to pound into me until we’re both panting and on the verge of climaxing.

  “Luke…” I murmur.

  “What, baby?” He never calls me that and it somehow makes the encounter feel less intimate.

  “Don’t call me that.” I say more sternly than intended and he stops.

  He leans down and kisses the back of my neck. “What, Jessica? What do you need?” He whispers, his breath tickling my skin.

  “I need you,” I say, and immediately wish I didn’t. Not because it isn’t true, but because those words are laced with too much meaning for tonight.

  Luke pulls out of me. My body aches and my drunken brain scrambles for the words to salvage the moment, but before I have a chance to jam my foot any further down my throat, Luke grabs me and flips me over. He swiftly reenters me, and I gasp.

  “I want to watch you come apart for me. I want you to see me when I can’t hold back any more.” Luke lowers his head and raises by breast to his mouth. The suction is enough to send me over the edge.

  I moan deeply and arch my back. When I half open my eyes, I see Luke. He’s studying me as he continues to slide in and out. Soon his pace increases and with a final push he joins me with his own release.

  He slumps on top of me and we lay there trying to catch our breaths. After a few minutes I gently push on his chest and he rolls off of me. I retreat to the bathroom to get cleaned up and immediately begin to wonder what this meant to me. What did it mean to him? Is he sleeping here tonight? Should I be mentally prepared for him to head back to his own room now? Do I want him to?

  I apply my facial cleanser and rinse it off with cold water. My mind continues to swirl as I brush the taste of alcohol and Luke from my mouth.

  I return to the bed to find Luke laying on his back, his eyes closed. He could be asleep, or he could be pretending.

  As I climb into bed, a warm hand encircles my wrist.

  “Come here.” Luke’s voice is raspy as he pulls me down toward him and wraps his arm around me.

  Once I am lying against his naked chest, he begins to stroke my hair.

  We don’t say anything else. I didn’t know until this moment that this is ultimately the closeness I was looking for tonight.

  “Jessica,” Luke groans.

  My head feels as groggy as his voice sounds. I roll over and tuck the blanket tighter around my neck.

  “Jessica, your phone is ringing.” Luke rubs my shoulder.

  I struggle into a sitting position and take note that the room is still completely dark. The clock on the nightstand indicates it’s only four in the morning. I untangle myself from the blankets and drag my heavy body from the bed. I pause for a moment trying to remember where my phone is. Luckily, it begins to ring again giving away its location somewhere on the other side of the room. I follow the tune and finally realize it’s still in my purse from last night. By the time I pull it out the call has gone to voicemail.

  My brain wakes up when I see that I have three missed called from my mom. I press the buttons to call her back. She doesn’t answer, so I hang up and try again.

  “What’s going on?” Luke rubs his face as he sits up.

  “I’m not sure, but my mom called three times in a row. She’s not answering her phone now.” I finish my sentence as my second call goes to her voicemail. My stomach churns with uneasiness. I immediately call her again.

  This time she answers after the second ring.

  “Jessica.” I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or not, but she sounds weak.

  “Hi, Mom. What’s going on?”

  “I’m in the hospital.”

  “What happened?” I do my best to maintain a calmness in my voice even as my entire body tenses.

  “I was having some pain in my chest and some difficulty breathing. They’re not exactly sure, but they think I may have had a small heart attack.”

  I’m fully awake now.

  “They’re running more tests. Not sure if I’m going to need surgery or not. I’ll call you back when I know more.” She sounds out of breath.

  “Okay.” I’m careful to keep my voice steady. “I’m in Napa, but I’ll get back there as quickly as possible.”

  “Okay.” The fact that she doesn’t tell me not to worry or try to convince me to stay where I am is unlike her.

  “Call or text me when you know anything.” I want to keep her on the phone until I can see her face, but I know she needs to rest and communicate with the doctors.

  “See you soon,” she says and hangs up.

  “Shit.” I press the end button and quickly enter a search for the phone number for the airlines. While the screen loads, I frantically go through my laptop bag looking for my plane ticket.

  “What’s going on, Jessica?” I hear the concern in his voice, but I don’t have time to stop and answer him. I find my ticket and turn to face him.

  “I have to get…” I start to respond to him, but someone answers at the airline.

  “Thank you for calling. How may I assist you today?”

  “Good morning. I need to reschedule a flight.”

  “I can help you with that. Where are you flying from and to what destination?”

  “My current reservation number is E887695.” I wait until I hear the typing stop. “I need your next available flight out of Oakland or San Francisco, to San Diego or Ontario.” I pace while the person on the other end loudly punches keys on their keyboard. I walk to the window and turn around to find Luke standing in the middle of the room. He looks as worried as I feel. I raise a hand to let him know I’ll explain in a minute.

  “I have room on a flight out of San Francisco to San Diego at four o’clock this afternoon.”

  “Four o’clock? That’s too late. You don’t have anything for this morning?” My voice reaches a higher pitch in frustration. I’m not upset with the airline, j
ust anxious to get to my mom.

  “I’m sorry ma’am. That is the earliest flight I have room on.”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “Thank you. I’ll figure out something else.” I hang up and start to pull up another airlines information when Luke gently places his hand on mine.

  “Let me help. What’s going on?”

  “My mom’s in the hospital. They think maybe a heart attack. They don’t know. She mentioned she may need surgery. I have to be there if she needs surgery. The airline didn’t have any available flights until this afternoon. That will be too late. I could drive a car there quicker, except I can’t, because I think I’m still drunk from last night.” I ramble off my thoughts.

  Luke grabs me gently by the shoulders. “I got this. You get a shower and pack up your stuff. Be ready in an hour.”

  This is the part where I would normally tell him that I appreciate his offer, but I’ll figure things out. Not this time.

  “Okay.”

  Luke quickly throws on his clothes, his phone already to his ear as he walks out of my hotel room.

  An hour later I’m putting my final toiletries in my bag when there is a knock on my door. I open the door to find a freshly showered Luke with his duffel and garment bag. “

  “The car is about thirty minutes out,” he says, looking at his phone. When he looks up and sees the confusion of my face he continues. “My driver, he’s going to drive us back to Temecula. Even with the private plane, avoiding the airports ended up being the quickest way to go. I’m going down to grab us some breakfast to go. I’ll meet you down there?”

  His company owns a plane, but I didn’t expect him to use it for this. When he said he had this I figured he’d make some calls to other airlines. I feel bad he’s waking up his driver this early on a Saturday, but I need to get to my mom, so I accept the offer. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He nods and leaves.

  It dawns on me as I run around the room, throwing my belongings into my suitcase, I’ve never had a man in my life take care of me the way he does.

  Chapter 11

  “Wake up, Jessica, we’re here.” Luke’s warm hand grips my shoulder.

  I push myself up to a seated position and glance around in order to get my bearings. We’re in the parking lot of the hospital.

  “I can’t believe I fell asleep,” I say, checking my phone for missed messages and putting my shoes back on.

  “I’m glad you did. It’s why I asked Dean to bring the limo, more room to lay down.”

  “I hope you did, too,” I say, eyes still on my phone.

  “I didn’t, but that’s okay. I kept an eye on your phone to make sure you didn’t miss any calls or texts.”

  “Thank you.” I text my mom to see if there’s been any developments or if she’s been moved to a different location. Our texts ended around six in the morning when the nurse demanded she get some rest. At that point she didn’t have any of the results from the tests they ran. When I don’t receive a response after a few minutes, I get out of the car and Luke follows behind me.

  Images of our night together and its undetermined meaning, flash through my brain. I might feel embarrassed if I wasn’t so preoccupied with my mom. “Thank you again for getting me here.”

  “Anytime. I’m happy I could help.”

  “I’ll give you a call later.” I give him a hug and he holds me a beat longer than a friendly version.

  “I’m going in with you,” he says as he releases me.

  “You don’t have to, you’ve done enough.” Part of me wants him to stay, but it’s not fair for me to. I’ve already muddied the waters with my actions last night.

  “I need to be here,” Luke says earnestly, and motions for me to lead the way. “Let’s get you in to see your mom.”

  I don’t have time to argue, so I let him walk beside me toward the large stucco building. Despite everything that’s happened between us, there is something about his presence that is still comforting.

  We step through the large sliding glass doors and it hits me. It’s not the same waiting room, not even the same hospital but the room feels dreadfully familiar. I’m suddenly very warm and my legs feel heavy as memories of that awful night creep back in. I freeze and try to catch my breath.

  “I’ve got you,” Luke says quietly as he takes my hand and leads me to the check-in desk.

  “May I help you?” A woman with remarkably long fingernails asks without looking up from the papers she’s writing on.

  “I’m looking for my mother, Jill Adams. She came in last night. I don’t believe she’s been moved out of the emergency room yet.”

  The woman punches a series of keys on her keyboard and appears to be reading something on the screen.

  “What’s your name, honey?” she asks using a more polite tone this time.

  “I’m her daughter, Jessica Rogers.”

  Her nails click loudly against the keyboard as she enters additional information. She stares at her screen longer than makes me comfortable.

  “Ma’am, I’m going to ask you to have a seat. The doctor will be out to speak with you in a few minutes.”

  “Why is the doctor coming out to see me?” The panic causes my pitch to elevate.

  “Ma’am, it’s normal protocol. The doctor will be able to give you more information.” Her face remains neutral, giving nothing away.

  “Will you please tell me what’s going on?” I beg, but the woman only offers me a sympathetic look.

  “Thank you,” Luke says politely, and leads me to the other side of the room. “She’s not allowed to say anything. It doesn’t mean…” Luke doesn’t finish that thought.

  “Ms. Rogers?” A deep voice calls from the doors that have been pushed open.

  “Yes. That’s me.” I walk quickly to where the distinguished looking, bearded man is standing.

  “Hello, I’m Doctor Evans. Come with me.”

  Luke follows us, his hand on my back, as Doctor Evans leads the way to a private sitting room.

  I pause in the door frame and hold both sides for support. I don’t want to go into this room. This seems like a place where bad news is delivered.

  “Ms. Rogers,” the doctor says as he takes a seat in one of the chairs facing the door, and motions for me to take the seat across from him. His expression changes from serious to apologetic when he sees my face. “Mrs. Rogers, your mother is upstairs being prepped for surgery. I’m going to insert stents into two blocked arteries. She may need additional procedures in the future, but for now the stents should open up the arteries and she should start to feel better.”

  “Oh, thank goodness.” My body slumps in relief. Considering where my mind had wandered to, this is good news. I take a deep breath and finally take the seat across from the doctor and Luke sits beside me.

  The doctor explains what he’s planning to do, but my foggy brain isn’t able to grasp all of what he says. I do take note when he mentions she’ll need to change her diet and get more exercise.

  “It’s a fairly straightforward procedure,” he assures me. Luke places his hand on mine sitting in my lap. “Would you like to see her?”

  “Can I?” I perk up.

  “Yes, you and your husband can go see her.” He inaccurately assumes the status of my relationship with Luke, but I don’t correct him. “I’ll send someone down to get you in a few minutes.”

  “Thank you,” I murmur as he exits the room. I lean back and close my eyes. When I reopen them, Luke is leaning forward in his chair with his head in his hands.

  He must sense me looking at him because he sits up quickly, shaking off his own emotions. “She’s going to be all right.”

  “Yeah,” I say as a nurse pokes her head in.

  “Mrs. Rogers, I can take you and your husband to see your mother now.”

  “Oh
…” I’m unsure how I should proceed.

  “I’m not Mr. Rogers, just a friend.” Luke squeezes my shoulder as he stands. “Can you point me back toward the way we came in?”

  “Jessica,” my mom’s voice is frailer then I’ve ever heard it.

  “Mom,” I say as I approach the hospital bed. There are a multitude of tubes and wires connecting her to various machines and sensors.

  “Hey, honey. I’m glad you’re here,” she says with a little more strength, and I nod. “Sorry you had to cut your trip short.”

  “You know I don’t care about that. How are you feeling?”

  “Like crap.” She gives a small laugh. “But I suppose no one comes to the hospital because they feel good.”

  “No.” I smile at her. Her sense of humor being intact is a good sign.

  “I’m fine, or at least I will be,” she says confidently.

  “You better be.” I take her hand in mine.

  “Tell me about Napa? I’ve always wanted to go there.” My mother has never liked too much attention directed her way. I’m sure the fact she’s lying in a hospital bed with me staring at her is making her uncomfortable.

  “It’s really beautiful.” I want to know more about her right now, but she clearly is looking for a distraction. “Rolling hills, grapevines everywhere you look, you’d love it.”

  She yawns, and I immediately feel guilty for not getting off the phone with her earlier this morning.

  “All right, ladies, it’s time to go down.” A nurse I haven’t seen before enters and begins to rearrange some of the tubes and wires.

  “I’ll be waiting outside.” I give my mom’s hand a squeeze. “Let’s get you fixed up and then we can plan a mother-daughter trip to Napa.”

  “That would be lovely.” My mom squeezes my hand back. “I love you, Jessica.”

  “I love you, too.” I kiss her on the forehead and give her hand one final pat.

  When I enter the waiting room, Emily is waiting for me. I texted her as soon as we started the drive back and knew she would show up here at some point. Vivien is in Palm Springs with Ed for the weekend. She offered to drive back, but I told her that wasn’t necessary. Knowing that she may come back to check on me anyway, I made her promise not to cut her time with her husband short.