Light in the Darkness

by CJ Brightley

  “I don’t know. I think because I grew up with my mother telling me I was no good and I’d never amount to anything, and making Senior Mage at twenty-four would… would…”

  “Would prove her wrong.”

  “Yes.”

  “You already know she’s wrong, don’t you?”

  “Yes. But I want everyone to know.”

  “Especially her.”

  “Well, yes, I suppose.”

  Patient rolled over and kissed her. “Remember, she doesn’t get to say who you are.”

  “I know. I still want the recognition, though.”

  The hearing was held in Gulfport, where the Council of Mages met in a dignified Elven Empire-style building, one with rounded corners and plants woven through the structure. Hope dressed carefully in her garnet-red Victory suit, went light on the kohl, and attached her Realmgold’s Honour to her mage bracelet. As she did so, she hoped that she would soon be wearing the gold edging on the bracelet which marked a Senior Mage.

  She arrived at the Council building and gave her name to the dignified clerk, who told her to wait. “They’re finishing up the previous matter,” he said. “You’ll hear a bell tone when they’re ready for you.” She nodded, sat, and concentrated on preventing nervous sweat emerging from her underarms and trickling down her sides.

  At the bell, outwardly composed, she walked carefully into the hearing chamber in one of Briar’s more practical pairs of shoes. She only owned boots herself. She supposed she should probably do something about that.

  The first face she saw was the cheerful countenance of the Master-Mage, seated near the top of the table. It curved away from him in both directions and then ran straight for most of the length of the room, forming an inverted U shape with her at the open end. Next to him, in the seat at the greatest curve of the U, Honesty of Heatherbrook presided.

  Down both sides of the table sat distinguished-looking mages, all with the wide arm-cuffs of High Mages and not a one of them much under fifty. She estimated the average age at probably sixty, in fact, and the oldest, even older than the Master-Mage, must have been close to ninety. Each of them wore the formal garment of the Council of Mages, a kind of vestigial waistcoat which finished just under the arms and featured puffy shoulder pieces and heavy gold embroidery.

  They were all silent, and all staring at her. She disciplined herself to stand confidently and not fiddle with the honour dangling from her bracelet.

  “Welcome, Hope at Merrybourne,” said the Master-Mage, with his usual face-wrinkling smile. “Distinguished Council, as co-sponsor with our Honoured Chair, let me introduce you to this talented mage. At the age of eight, she demonstrated the untrained ability to manipulate light. A former student of mine, Sincerity Roper, taught her privately, primarily lifemagic and mindmagic, and she successfully took the Mage-Minor examinations in both those disciplines shortly after her arrival at the university. She came on a scholarship which I awarded her, because at the age of sixteen she discovered hidden Elvish writing in an old book — the book now known as Merrybourne One, and the first of many discoveries which have since formed the basis of the Magical Research Institute. I know that many of you have learned and used the blood-flow spells from Merrybourne Four.”

  There was a certain amount of nodding around the table, and some impressed eyebrows raised in her direction. Hope relaxed a tiny fraction of her tension.

  “Hope’s primary interest, however, was in energy magic. She had limited resources for learning it at home, but once at the university she excelled in her studies. I have circulated testimonials from her teachers as part of the proposal for elevation.” Several mages flipped through the papers in front of them at this.

  “Despite having to work to support herself through the latter part of her education, Hope managed a very creditable High Distinction, second only to Resplendence of Ashling.” Here the Master-Mage nodded to one of the mages down the table, who nodded back. He wore the seals of a member of the Gold class, and Hope thought she recognised his bladelike nose. It was the same as her old rival’s, a girl who had never spoken directly to her, but had done all she could to shun her and encourage others to do so also.

  Wonderful, she thought. Resplendence’s father is on the Council. How did I miss that?

  “I believed,” said the Master-Mage, “that Hope’s ability at applied as well as theoretical magic would result in some spectacular advances, and indeed, events have borne out that belief. Hope’s senior project was a complete schema for a magic mirror, which, through her collaboration with the Realmgold’s clever man Dignified Printer, resulted in the creation of the farviewers and farspeakers, for which she was honoured with the Realmgold’s Civilian Honour, Gold, with Moon. You are all aware, I’m sure, of the key role these devices played in the speedy resolution of the Unification War.”

  More nods and eyebrows. Hope’s chest unclenched enough for her to take a deep, calming breath. When she heard the Master-Mage making her case, it was hard to believe that she wouldn’t be advanced to Senior Mage.

  “More recently,” he continued, “I have managed to secure her services for my Institute, and she has just concluded a shift-cycle’s worth of seminars, first for the mathematicians and then for the magical theorists. Based on their reports, which some of you will have also received, I expect even greater things to come from her brilliant mind in the future.”

  He nodded at Honesty, who said, “Thank you, Amiable. I would like to add my voice to that of my co-sponsor in advocating the advancement of this talented young woman to the rank of Senior Mage. I edit, as you know, the journal Magical Research, and she has submitted a series of articles to me of a quality and depth that I have seldom seen across my desk. I am eagerly anticipating her book based on these and on her seminar series at the Institute.”

  Honesty straightened her papers in front of her and said, “Does anyone have questions for the candidate?”

  Hope was expecting Resplendence’s father to ask the first question, but another man two seats down from him touched his forehead in the gesture that indicated that he had something to say. He brushed aside straight hair, more white than black, to do so.

  “Councillor Purposeful,” said Honesty.

  “Mage Hope,” said the man, “to what extent would you attribute the creation of the farviewers to yourself, and to what extent were they the work of the clever man?”

  She took a moment before answering to steady herself. “They were my idea,” she said, “but I did not have any way to implement the idea until I collaborated with Dignified. I had worked out the spells as my senior project, but working with him, and learning his mathematical-magical notation, improved them considerably. Overall, it was a collaborative effort, and I would be hard-put to separate our contributions in many cases.”

  Purposeful nodded, and Honesty recognised another mage.

  The mages probed and prodded into every part of the Master-Mage’s recommendation. What exactly had she done at the age of eight? What was the process of her discovery of the hidden Elvish writing? Had it been merely an accident?

  “I understand,” said one of the younger council members, “that you have had health problems recently.”

  “Yes,” she said, “I had a fall and struck my head, and have had headaches and other symptoms to a greater or lesser degree since, including, as you may have heard, passing out while giving a seminar at the university. The healers tell me, though, that they expect me to recover fully in time.” The woman nodded, apparently satisfied.

  The questioning slowly died down, and then came the question she had been dreading, from Resplendence’s father.

  “A point of clarification, Mage Hope,” he said, in his drawling Gold-class accent. “The Master-Mage mentioned that he awarded you a scholarship, but then later in his account he said that you had to work your way through university. Which was it?”

  Hope flushed. “Both, in fact, Councillor. I… as a result of an ill-judged act during my education,
I lost the scholarship and was obliged to support myself.”

  “And what act was that?” he asked smoothly, as if he didn’t know.

  “I used magic on a fellow student without first obtaining permission, in breach of university regulations.” The word “weasel” repeated in her head with every heartbeat.

  “And what form did that magic take?”

  “I found my, uh, gentleman-friend with another woman, and placed a very specific geis on him.”

  “Please tell us the exact nature of that geis.”

  “It, uh, would have prevented him from having relations with any woman to whom he had not been faithful.”

  “Would have?”

  “The university authorities naturally obliged me to remove it.”

  “It would have worked, though?” asked an elderly woman.

  “Oh, yes,” said Hope. There was scattered laughter from some councillors, met by frowns from others.

  “Well,” said one of the frowners, “this puts quite a different complexion on things. How recent was this incident?”

  “Five years ago,” said Hope. “Almost six.”

  “Not terribly long ago,” said the man.

  “To you and me, Courteous,” said the Master-Mage. “If you can remember being Hope’s age, you might recall that six years made a considerable difference.” There were a few laughs at that, but Courteous did not join in them.

  Hope watched helplessly, and silently, as two factions emerged. One, clearly led and coordinated by Resplendence’s father, insisted that it would not be appropriate to advance someone of such dubious ethical standards to Senior Mage. The other attempted to argue for her based on her achievements, and dismiss the incident with Faithful as a youthful indiscretion, now behind her.

  The two sides seemed about even in numbers, but a lot of the councillors were not saying anything, and she didn’t know which way they would vote. The argument started to become repetitive, and Honesty called the council to order.

  “If I might,” said a mage. Hope recognised the (compared to the rest of the council) youngish woman who had asked about her health. She hadn’t participated in the debate.

  “Yes, Curiosity,” said Honesty.

  “Might I propose, before we vote, that the question before us is not whether or not to advance Mage Hope, but when? Clearly, she has the makings of a senior mage, and a good one, but I am not fully convinced that she should be advanced at such a young age, particularly as she has had health problems. I would suggest that we wait for the publication of her book, and see what other advances she is able to produce in the Institute... let’s say, by the end of the year? And at that time we can review again.”

  That set off general murmuring, which Honesty had some difficulty in shutting down. “Curiosity, is that a formal proposal?” she said, when the others were silent again.

  “Yes.”

  “Let us put it to the vote, then. The proposal is that we review Mage Hope’s advancement to Senior Mage again before the end of the current year, taking into account her work between now and then, and in particular her book. Votes in favour?”

  The number of raised hands was clearly a majority, though not a large one.

  “Proposal is adopted,” said Honesty. “Thank you, Mage Hope, we will be in touch again regarding a second hearing.”

  “Thank you, Council Chair,” said Hope, and bowed herself out of the room. Behind her, she heard Honesty calling a break before the next session.

  In the foyer, she allowed herself to start trembling and sweating. She straightened up when she heard footsteps behind her, and turned to see the Master-Mage.

  “Well,” he said, “that could have gone better, but it could also have gone worse. A proposal to delay a controversial decision will usually pass, in my experience.”

  “Did you coordinate that?” she asked.

  “Of course,” he said quietly. “When I could see that Significant’s faction was strong, I gave Curiosity the signal. Now we have until year’s end to campaign with some of the less decided voters. And I’m sure you’ll produce a brilliant book that will remove all doubt.” He gave her one of his sparkling smiles — for an old man, he had excellent teeth — and patted her hand. “Now, you go along and have a cup of tea somewhere and get yourself pulled together, and we’ll talk again in due course.”

  Hope took his advice, withdrawing to a nearby tea-house, where she sat alone and pondered.

  She probably would make Senior Mage, just not yet. She dreaded the process of writing the book, especially with so much at stake, though.

  She sighed. Once, she’d done things like this in the hope of impressing her mother. That dream was dead, though the drive, oddly, seemed to live on. And after all the failures she’d had lately, a success would have been welcome.

  22

  The Breakthrough

  Hope hooked one foot behind the other ankle and stared at the rug without seeing it.

  “You know,” she said, “I think we’ve gone as far as we can with my childhood for now. I want to go directly to the time when I cursed Faithful.”

  She looked up to see Lily smiling. “Good,” she said. “That’s exactly what we need to do, but I was waiting for you to reach that conclusion for yourself.”

  “Do I get to beat him up?” asked Patient. She detected a serious undercurrent beneath his question.

  “No,” said Hope. “In fact, I’d like you to just be there and not say anything. I like having your support, but… I need to handle this one myself.”

  She slipped easily into the trance, having practiced it so many times, and found herself drawn back to the fateful day. Her throat roughened with the remembered fumes of the leaves that one of her classmates had dropped accidentally into a brazier. She described to Patient and Lily, in a rasping voice, how she cancelled her regular singing engagement at Honey’s tavern and decided to surprise Faithful in his rooms.

  “I go up the stairs, and open the door.” She knew what was coming, but she still gasped at what she saw. “He’s with Briar.” The two of them were seated on the bed, kissing passionately, and broke off as she entered.

  “I’m standing there beside you,” said Patient.

  “I’m angry with him,” said Hope, ferociously. “I want to hurt him. But…”

  She watched Briar as she worked out the situation, slapped Faithful across the face and began to button up her shirt.

  “Faithful,” she said. “I’d like to curse you for this. But I’m not going to. You’re not worth it. You’re a little man. You’re unimportant. My real man’s here, watching, and he’s the one who’s important. In fact, you’re starting to shrink.” His feet were already off the floor, hanging over the edge of the bed like a child’s, though he was still proportioned like an adult.

  “You’re nobody in my life,” said Hope. “You mean nothing. Only people who love us get to tell us who we are, and you don’t love me, you only used me. He’s fading away,” she reported in her normal voice. She could see the bedspread through his increasingly tiny form.

  “I don’t know if you even still remember me,” she said, rasping again. “But I’m ready to forget about you now.”

  “He’s gone,” said Hope, after a minute. “Shrunk and faded. Disappeared.” She stood in the imaginary room next to Patient and a silent Briar, looking around, but there was no sign of Faithful anywhere.

  “You didn’t curse him,” said Lily, after a pause.

  “No. No need. He wasn’t worth it.”

  “So what’s happened to the curse?”

  Hope drew a long breath in and flexed her shoulders as if a weight had been removed from them. She straightened up in her chair.

  “There’s no more curse,” she said, and smiled.

  “Are you sure?” asked Lily.

  “Yes. It’s gone.”

  “For now, or forever?”

  “Forever. I don’t need it. It doesn’t have anywhere in me to hold onto, because I’m loved now. I’m all
owed to be loved.”

  “So you can be oathbound to Patient, and be together, and be intimate?”

  “Yes. It’s all right to do that now.”

  “Good. You’ve done incredibly well. I’m going to bring you both back out of the trance now.”

  Lily began to chant, and they slowly drew back into their own bodies, in her room, on a Threeday afternoon in Late Sowing of the year 547. When they were fully alert again, Hope shook her head as if to clear it, smiled at Patient, and leaned over and kissed him.

  After the kiss had gone on for some time, Lily cleared her throat. “Time enough for that later on,” she said, and they broke apart reluctantly.

  “Well,” she said, “I think we have our breakthrough.”

  “Yes,” said Hope.

  “So,” said Patient. “Hope, will you be my oathmate?”

  “Yes,” she said. “As soon as possible, and with great pleasure.” Lily’s usual professional neutrality of expression vanished behind an enormous smile.

  “I’d like to see you again afterwards,” she said, “but I don’t think there’s any hurry. You go off now and plan the rest of your lives.”

  “Thank you, Lily,” said Patient.

  “Yes, thank you so much,” said Hope.

  “My pleasure. It’s a refreshing change to work with a couple who are so devoted to one another. And Patient,” she said, “if Hope doesn’t have time to apprentice you, let me know, and I will. I’m serious.”

  “Apprentice me?”

  “I think you could very easily become at least a Mage-Minor in mindmagic. And with your woodcarving skills, you could make your own amulets. If you want to, of course.”

  “That’s… I’ll think about it,” he said, with an expression that suggested he actually would.

  “Any lingering effects of the curse you can detect, Hope?” Lily asked, as they prepared to walk out the door.

  “No,” said Hope. “I’m not in the disinhibition trance, and I’m having difficulty thinking about anything except dragging this man off and practicing Chapters 20 to 35 on him until we collapse from exhaustion.” Patient blushed, but looked pleased.