Hostile Saint (Steel Stallions MC Book 1)

by India R. Adams

  Dagger eyed me, dipped his chin, then said, “I, for one, want to plop my ass down on that couch.”

  Lynx agreed. “Let’s try it out.”

  The brown leather couch was huge and in the shape of an L. When I sat, I was instantly so comfortable I wasn’t sure I’d get up again. My eyes slid shut. “Can we take this couch back to Austin?”

  I think Dagger answered me, but I didn’t make out the words because I fell asleep in a second flat.

  Hearing familiar sniffles had me walking further into the dark woods. “Lace?” She never outright cried. Her tears were silent. Her only giveaway was the sniffles.

  Breaking a line of trees, I found her sitting in a field of short grass. The only light was coming from the stars in the night. Her legs were pulled to her chest as her arms held them tight.

  Lacey didn’t hear me coming up behind her. When I touched her shoulder, she jumped and gasped until she saw me. “Oh, Tate. Is it really you? I’m lost.”

  Her voice was so terrified, I instantly felt the need to ground her to me. “Nah, Pretty Girl. You’re right here.” I sat behind her, putting a leg on each side of her so she could feel me close as I held her to my chest. “You’re right here. With me.”

  She burrowed into me, hiding her precious face under my chin. “I can’t find you. Don’t give up on me, okay?”

  “Never.” I leaned my head to the top of hers after kissing it. “Evermore, remember?”

  I could feel the wetness of her tears on my skin that turned cold as ice when she whispered. “No.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Hearing Cries

  It was already nighttime by the time my eyes reopened. I woke in a startled jolt, which was quite normal for me. There had been so many times in the past when I had awoken to find the brothers watching me, waiting, eager to torture… Now, I was lying on the couch with a blanket covering me, the kind gesture so completely foreign.

  In front of me were two sliding glass doors. On the other side of the glass were Lynx and Dagger, sitting on a wooden porch, smoking cigarettes. Seeing them exhale smoke, I exhaled relief. It was sad to realize how much I had truly expected them to dump me somewhere while I slept heavily on painkillers.

  Sitting in front of them at the six-chair patio table was the large man from the woods, Vice. Outside lights glowed against smoke rising from a covered gas grill a few feet away from the men. It took me a minute, but I finally sat up, my stomach growling. It was as if my body knew these men being present meant nourishment. Having pushed away hunger pains for so many years, I had almost forgotten what being hungry actually felt like. In a way, that made Lynx and Dagger as dangerous for my body as they were for my growing hope. If they were to change their minds about helping me, where would I go? How would I get my Lacey back?

  The uncertainty had me instantly spooked. It’s tragic, I know, but I almost missed home. At least, there Lacey was only a couple of blocks away, and I knew what I needed to do. I had a routine. It may have been a horrid one at times, but at least that beautiful girl was the highlight I could count on. Now, with her in a hospital somewhere in Colorado, where I’d never been until now, and with the police involved, the only thing I was sure of was that I would die if I didn’t get her back.

  Vice noticed me right away. He did a chin lift, causing Lynx and Dagger to peer over their shoulders. Their slightly weathered and tanned faces showed me how much they rode their dragons. Their overall presence spoke to me about how much they loved their lifestyle. Their larger-than-life charisma silently demanded respect. I think they gained mine within the first moments I had met them.

  Lynx stood from his chair. His deep voice was faint due to the glass, but I could still hear, “Let’s get some chow, then come up with a plan.”

  My heart thundered as more hope bloomed. A plan? That’s good news, right?

  A sliding door opened with a well-oiled swoosh. The sliding door back home squeaked and creaked as if screaming to be put out of its misery.

  “Nine Lives,” cheered Dagger as he walked into the kitchen. “Is that bottomless pit you call a stomach growling yet?”

  It was, of course, but I didn’t want them to know that my body viewed them as a meal ticket, because my heart didn’t. My heart was grateful for any help they were willing to offer. They were my only chance to get Lacey back. I didn’t have one other soul on this earth I could turn to. “Bathroom?”

  With those wise grey eyes, Lynx stood next to the kitchen, giving me a quizzical stare, then pointed behind me. “In that hallway. Then you’re to eat until you burst, you hear me?”

  How he could so easily read my guilt and read my mind, I didn’t know, but I quickly learned some people lead because they’re really fucking good at it.

  Thankful he was insisting I do what my body was begging for, I shyly dipped my chin, turned around, and went to find the bathroom.

  Whoever owned the house really liked the color blue. It wasn’t overdone, just obvious with the dark blue towels in the bathroom and light blue walls throughout the house. There were no pictures of people, showing that it was simply a fully furnished rental, but there were nice hanging pics of nature. The picture of a dirt road through some woods haunted me. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the path I had run down, chasing Lacey—the road I hoped to never see again.

  After a long piss, and then washing my hands, I reentered the living room to find a buffet arrangement on the counter that stood between the living room and kitchen. Next to a stack of paper plates were tubs of store-bought macaroni and potato salads. There were open bags of hotdog and hamburger buns and so many flavors of chips I didn’t know which one to dive into first.

  “We already have waters for ya out here,” announced Lynx to me as he opened the sliding door with his elbow because his hands were full. “Load up two plates or don’t bother coming outside.” He was already with a full plate of his own.

  “Yes, sir.” Trying not to look desperate, I went to the kitchen with my mouth watering and proceeded to load two plates.

  By the time I got outside, there was a tray of cooked meat in the center of the table.

  Gesturing to me as I stared at the plate as if I’d found a pot of gold, Dagger laughed. “Vice, can you imagine how much this kid is gonna eat when not on pain meds?”

  Vice, who also had two plates sitting in front of him, teased, “I see I have a title to defend.”

  That made me smile. Anything to relate to anyone was comforting at this point in my life. “You like food, too?”

  Vice was in his late thirties but had a childlike feel to him. This was surprising since the first—and only other—time I’d ever seen him, he’d been with a drawn gun, ready to use it.

  His longer, unkempt dirty blond hair was being held back by aviator glasses on the top of his head. “Like? Hell no. I love food. It’s my second most favorite thing.”

  Taking a seat at the end of the table, I stupidly asked, “What’s your first?”

  “Pussy.”

  Vice’s large hands carried a loaded burger to his chortling mouth. He took a mammoth-sized bite, then playfully growled around the food like an animal in need of a female of his kind.

  Attempting to talk, he kept playing, “Yep, dis good, bu’ ain’t ‘ussy.”

  Lynx and Dagger busted out laughing, both clinking beers, cheering, “Pussy.”

  Putting a burger on my bun, I chuckled to myself. I appreciated their humor, even if I couldn’t relate. Maybe having been too busy surviving, I didn’t have time to daydream about the female gender. Maybe I didn’t because I somehow already knew there was only one for me.

  Dagger picked up his hotdog which had so many toppings he looked like an Anaconda unlocking his jaw to get his lips around it. His mouth was so wide it stretched the elastic band attached to his eye patch.

  Possibly in disbelief—or disgust—Lynx watched him. “Jesus, Dag. Need a helpin’ hand? Want me to get behind that hotdog and push?”

  How these men
could make me laugh while my life was an absolute train wreck was a testament to what they were made of. They were survivors. Talk about ‘living in the moment.’ Even though they had acquired a stray with a tragic past and possibly even more tragic future, they still treasured not needing a gun in their hand at the dinner table. And, they made the most of it.

  Vice leaned back in his chair to make room as he awkwardly lifted his biker boot into the air. Offering the bottom of the shoe that must have been a size sixteen, he teased, “Dagger, I could help jam that hotdog in there.”

  Dagger had a mouthful of hotdog with mustard and dressings dripping down his medium-length greying beard. He flicked off Vice, then shrugged to Lynx. “He’s right. This dog ain’t pussy but still fuckin’ good.” He wasn’t even done swallowing the half-chewed hot dog when he tilted his beer bottle back, filling his mouth to the brim. Since he couldn’t stop smiling, beer leaked to join the mustard.

  Lynx was laughing so hard, he could hardly talk, but he managed to throw Dagger a napkin while cursing, “Damnit, pig. Clean yourself!”

  At the time, I didn’t realize the rarity I was witnessing; three deadly men letting their guard down. While they ate that night, they let go of the weight all their responsibilities usually forced them to carry. I understood their appreciated moment of freedom because that is how it was when Lacey and I could have a rare moment enjoying a vanilla milkshake. She and I could take a deep breath and relish the simple pleasures life sometimes offered.

  With empty plates in front of us, I finally had the courage to ask, “Is she okay?”

  It was almost sad to watch the youthful side of the three men fade away and be replaced by the formidable men they usually were. Their shoulders broadened, and worry lines on their foreheads deepened. All three sat forward as if getting ready for an approaching attack.

  Lynx’s voice deepened. “The doc who found her, he’s pulling strings with a judge ‘friend’ so that he can keep her at the institute until her family is found.”

  Three men stared at me.

  When I didn’t say anything, Dagger said, “It’s time, kid. We need to know what we’re up against.”

  Lynx added, “Hear me out. We ain’t the prying types, but someone tried to kill you, and your girl isn’t in your arms. Feel me?”

  I wasn’t familiar with this expression, but it wasn’t Lynx’s first time using it in front of me, so it was easy to understand his meaning. “What do you want to know first?”

  “Why her mama, nor yours, is searching.” Lynx regretted telling me the next part. I could see it in his eyes. “Kid, no reports have been filed in Kansas, or anywhere, for you or Lacey.”

  Crow’s words echoed, She won’t search for you...

  Pushing my stacked plates away, I rested my chin on top of my folded hands on the table. Folding over slightly helped me feel shielded while learning the only parents Lace and I had didn’t care enough to find us after we’d gone missing. “I guess they are even better liars than I had thought.” Chills created by epic loneliness blew through me. “Maybe they told our moms we ran away together?” A pathetic shrug escaped me. “Maybe that’s why there’re no reports. They’re not worried.”

  With much empathy, Lynx sucked on his bottom lip. “Yeah, maybe that’s it, kid.”

  Dagger’s one eye squinted, telling me he didn’t believe the lie Lynx was letting me try to fool myself with. “Who are they, kid?”

  My stomach started to turn and made my mouth water for a totally different reason than the hunger I had felt earlier. Now I was ill from a past that was presently trying to choke me.

  Moving my arms to wrap around my waist, I laid my forehead where my hands just were. The cool glass of the table touching my flushing skin helped settle my sinking stomach. Through the clear table, I stared at the wood planks under my feet as I begged my closing lungs to let in the fresh evening air that was starting to smell like oncoming rain—

  “I lost a girl once.”

  Ever so slowly, I lifted my head to see Lynx, shocked by his words.

  He nodded through a sadness that screamed he knew of my anguish, all too well. “Yeah… It makes me sick to even think about it.”

  I wanted to nod, scream, Yes! That is how I feel right now! but I couldn’t move.

  Lost in thought, Lynx spun his beer bottle in its own condensation. “I still carry guilt for it. Only shitty VPs allow their sister to be taken by the enemy.”

  His sister? Ah, man.

  “Lynx,” growled Dagger in a fatherly manner that didn’t exactly surprise me. “That wasn’t on you—”

  Lynx lifted a hand. “If I’m askin’ Nine Lives to speak the truth, it’s only right I do the same.” Lynx’s eyes met mine. “She doesn’t blame me for the kidnapping, even though she should.”

  My mouth fell open. “You got her back? She-She’s safe now?”

  As if witnessing me gaining more hope, right in front of him, he gently nodded again. “Yeah. We,” he gestured to Vice and Dagger, “got her back.”

  I looked at them as it all sunk in. Lynx was trying to inform me the present men had the power I needed to get my Lacey back. Now I needed to find the courage to give them any intel they were asking for.

  Easier said than done.

  My stomach soured again.

  Letting my jaw tick away some of the nerves owning my scarred body, I tried to open my mouth, but it refused. So, we all sat there in silence.

  With compassion, Dagger finally said, “It’s hard to speak of the Devil and all his power. We understand that, too.”

  My eyes welled for a few reasons. One? Fear. I was petrified to speak of what had been drilled into me to never talk about. That was a tough hurdle to jump. Two: reliving any of my past was even tougher. Who wanted to constantly think of such cruelty? Three: I was also suddenly angry. I was angry at the brothers, our mothers, and myself for not being smart enough to see their betrayal.

  As tears shook in my eyes, I groaned, “Why are you so willing to help a complete stranger?” My own family had abandoned me. I couldn’t afford any mistakes. The price was far too high.

  Lynx replied, “My sister taught me about ‘signs’. She swears they will lead you right if you only take the time to see them and listen to them.”

  I blinked in confusion. “What does that have to do with me?”

  His eyes slid shut. “When your girl cried out in those woods, she sounded like a heartbroken wolf. Her dreadful howl made my blood run cold.”

  The other two men rubbed their arms as if experiencing goosebumps.

  “It was like she was calling out to me.” Lynx’s eyes opened to show intimidating protector instincts. “I felt I had to answer.” His jaw tightened, then released. “When we found you… I saw a haunting rendition of a howling wolf in the tree trunk at your head.” As if not sure he believed what he saw, he ran fingers through his longer hair. “Maybe it’s only me who saw the shape in the bark, but my sister would’ve called it a ‘sign’.”

  Crackle-pop! Lightning suddenly exploded in the distance but close enough to have us all jump in shock, now staring into the night. The following rumble of thunder echoed in the sky, sounding just like the dragons I heard that fateful night. It was as if God, or whatever you believe in, was confirming Lynx’s message. That he hadn’t imagined shit. He was recognizing a mystical arrow pointing straight at me.

  My body trembled at the thought of there being a force in the sky that was actually on my side, trying to help me and Lace escape violence.

  Lynx almost smirked, but it was twisted as if linked to pain. “You believe me.”

  In a surrender, because it felt wrong to not believe him, I exhaled a shaky breath. “We are worth helping. I swear it. You may not believe me because our moms aren’t even searching for us, but…” I had to swallow. That had hurt so much to say. “Lace and I, even though we’ve experienced so much viciousness, we don’t want to hurt anyone. We’re good people.”

  Dagger nodded. “I beli
eve that, one-hundred-percent.”

  I stared into the dark distance where other houses sat, lightning lighting up the sky as a storm rolled in, but that’s not what I was truly seeing. I was picturing a future with Lace that we never thought possible. “I’ve already told you guys that I will go to Austin with you. I’m trying to leave all I’ve ever known behind since it is a cruel place,” I whispered tragic truth. “And they don’t want us,” I tried to explain, “but… I’m scared that what I learn from being around you will teach me I could have saved her sooner.” I wiped away a tear that had finally dripped… “What if you teach me that ignorance isn’t bliss?”

  Lynx sighed, long and hard. “Lessons can be very painful. But maybe that pain makes you learn them well.” His voice slipped to a whisper. “And you never forget that lesson.”

  Infuriated at myself and with my situation, I growled, “Then I hope I hurt like hell as that lesson sinks in.” I had failed Lace. Unacceptable.

  Dagger took a sip of his beer, then quietly said, “I think you already are, kid. I think it is possible you don’t know how not to hurt.”

  As the reality of that statement seared my heart, I grabbed onto denial and argued, “No, I have Lacey.”

  Lynx’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Was there ever a time you got to hold her without being afraid? Truly?”

  As I said, I knew their lessons would hurt.

  When I just sat there, mind blown because I couldn’t think of a time I had ever held my girl and not worried for her safety, Dagger quietly added, “Try not to torture yourself.”

  Wincing, I sat back in my chair. “She is the kindest person in the world. She never deserved an ounce of their unexplained hatred.”

  These men helping me see felt like I had just run face-first into a stone wall of resistance that had been, unknowingly to me, there all along. I wanted to put up my hands and stop the wall from closing in on me, but there’s no stopping a flood once the levee breaks.

  I hadn’t realized I was tugging at the t-shirt I was wearing until Lynx pointed to my nervous hand. “Who’s causing all that pain, kid?”