Love.
As soon as I felt her familiar softness on my mouth, warmth exploded throughout my whole body. I think even my soul felt that kiss. She was that magical to me. She was that heavenly.
As our lips stayed attached with such determination and compassion for one another, Lacey melted to me as if her spirit was sighing out loud.
With her eyes still closed, as if treasuring the connection we had just made, she whispered, “You’re not the only one who just fell.”
Beautiful words… Lacey was mine again.
Her lips were parted as she stayed in my arms in some sort of dream state. Then her head rested on my shoulder. “I’m so relaxed.”
I was too, but her weight suddenly increasing had me asking, “You okay?”
She replied, “Mmhmm,” but her legs were barely holding her up. “I’m so happy now I can’t fight it off.” She leaned into me, no longer supporting herself.
Concerned, I scooped her up. “Fight what off?”
She burrowed into my chest. “The pill.”
My chest began to pant. “What pill, baby?”
“Doctor Landon said I looked tired.”
“He drugged you?”
“Mmhmm…” Her words sounded lazy as the drug took over.
Feeling cheated because our night was going to be short-lived, I rested my head to hers, wanting as much of her as I could get before she passed out. “I guess I’ve been keeping you up late every night.”
“Mmhmm… Need rest for tomorrow.”
My body tensed. “What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Going under.”
Such suspicious words had me paranoid. I could barely swallow. Slowly, I turned to the window I had just crawled through and stared at the opening, ready to leap with her in my arms, even if it meant broken bones. “Under where?”
Lazily, she lifted her hand and slightly waved it back and forth. “Watch my finger. Listen to my voice…”
“Hypnosis?” Is he doing this to restore her memory?
“Tate, do you think,” as if suddenly afraid again, she whispered, “the shadows are real?”
I do. “What does your doctor say?”
“That they can’t hurt him. For me not to be afraid.”
Fucking fool. “Do you ever see them when you’re not with Doc?”
Her head became heavier on my shoulder. “No, but I… feel them. Does that make sense?”
I rocked her in my arms, soaking up the sensation of holding her so close. “It does. It does.”
She let out a sweet little moan. “You make me feel safe. I’m always so afraid, but not when you’re here.”
My lips pressed hard to her forehead. I love you, Lacey Young.
Before she fell to sleep, she whispered, “I wish you could be with me tomorrow—” Her mouth stopped moving, and heavy breaths passed her perfect lips.
I can’t say how long I stood there, holding that angel, but I didn’t let go until my arms began to tremble with exhaustion. Not willing to risk dropping her, I finally laid her in her bed.
After covering her up, I noticed her journal, open. Handwritten words cried out for me to read them…
Will I ever find peace? Or forever be on my knees?
There is no rhyme, no reason, for all this unknown treason
Memories must be found
Or I shall never be sound
Touching her silky hair, I whispered, “You will be sound again.” I grazed the scar on the left side of her neck that matched mine on my right. “Memories will be found.” My fingers caressed her forehead. “This will find me again because,” my fingers touched her chest, “this heart of yours already has.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Making Footprints
As I approached the men waiting for me in the woods, Lynx’s grey eyes were inquisitive. “What’s wrong?”
Hands that ached to still be holding Lace were opening and closing. My jaw felt restrained. “Her doc is hypnotizing her tomorrow.” I rolled my neck, fighting agitation. “He drugged her tonight.”
Blowing out air, Dagger crossed his arms, his expression full of empathetic frustration. “I hate that fuckin’ with your head shit. If her mind don’t want to remember, it has good reasons.”
With his words voicing my growing anger, I nodded. “I think that is exactly how I feel. It just don’t feel right.”
I looked back at Lynx to see a feral expression. His nostrils were wide. Eyes burning for a place to set fire. “That little girl don’t need no one fucking with her coconut.”
It was safe to say my Prez and VP had limits to their faith in doctors. It was one thing to have a professional help her through a process. It was a whole other thing for the pro to be prying.
I growled, “Feels like an invasion.”
Prez and VP nodded, totally having my back. Their support felt liberating. I had an opinion and confirmation it was justified.
Vice stared at the dark Serenity establishment. “Unless you prefer to bust her out tonight, I got an idea.”
In the dining room, I paced anxiously, wanting my Lace away from Serenity Institute.
Over the speaker phone in the middle of the dining room table, Justice tried again to convince us. “Top. Notch. I swear it. This doctor has written many papers—has immense respect from peers. Saint, I hear your protective side in high gear, but from everything I’ve read—and research is my thing—this doc is digging deeper because he feels it’s necessary. He’s trying to help her. In fact, he has a published article about unnecessary treatments. His job is his life. After he lost his daughter—Vera—to…”
Her voice faded as my ears rang. “Vera?”
Justice’s talking stopped. “Yeah. Mean somethin’ to ya?”
“Ah, shit.” Dagger shook his head in dismay. “It’s what he has named Lacey.”
Vice cringed. “And we made fun of it. That makes us assholes, right?”
“A little, yeah.” Justice sighed. “See what I mean? He clearly cares for Lacey. My vote is to let him do his job. Your call, Speedy Gonzalez.”
All eyes fell to me. I guess they told her about our training.
I stopped and stared at them while grasping the hair on the top of my head. Frustrated, I yanked, hard. “Ugh… Justice, I don’t know you, but if these guys trust you… Fuck, I will, too.” I looked to Vice. “Hook me up?”
Vice looked to Prez, who nodded. “Make it happen.”
Our Enforcer got up from the table and retrieved a duffle bag from the couch. With a clunk, he set it on the table, then started rifling through it. Items were set on the table that included so many gadgets I didn’t even know existed. Plus, there were wires and crazy small cameras... From out of a little box, he held up a tiny item that looked like a watch battery. “There’s what I’m looking for.” He stuck it in his pocket and then went into the kitchen and grabbed keys. “I’ll be back.”
As his dragon roared to life in the garage, probably waking the neighborhood, Justice chuckled. “That man loves his toys.”
Later that night, it took me a long time to fall asleep. I was thankful no one slept in a chair next to me anymore. That way I didn’t have to hear any comments as I tossed and turned, worried for Lace. She was already so broken. What if the doc made a crack in her mind that I couldn’t pull her back from?
Giving up on sleep, I got out of bed and walked to the window. I placed my worried palms on the glass and stared up at the night sky. Quietly, so as not to wake anyone, I said, “I asked your angels to help me some weeks back.” I nodded. “I think they did.” I nibbled on the inside of my cheek. “They brought me the Stallions.” I swallowed, “So, thanks for that—letting them help me.” I blew out a stressed breath that was choking me. “I’m trying to be strong.” My fingers gripped the glass. “I swear it. But…” my head hung forward, “I sense tomorrow will be really bad.” A dark chuckle escaped me. “You know that means for a real shitshow—” My eyes snapped back up to the sky. “Oh, sorry for c
ursing.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “God, do you think you could,” my voice cracked as I begged, “help keep her safe? I know you’re really busy and all, but…” I wiped a tear before it fell, “but… I need her real bad.” I wiped under my nose. “Like, real bad.” Another tear dropped. “I guess you probably know that.” I licked my drying lips. “Maybe someday you can explain why Lace and I had to go through all this. Not that I’m judging your plans or anything, but… it’s kind of sucked so far.”
I backed away from the window.
“But it’s cool. I’ll get through.”
My tired legs bent so I could sit on my bed.
“If I have her, I can get through anything.”
I laid down.
“If I have her.”
My eyes closed.
If I have her…
“Eat,” demanded Dagger as I sat at the kitchen bar, not able to pick up my fork. “Lynx ain’t no chump when it comes to his biscuits and gravy.”
Lynx was no longer cooking. He was studying me as if I were a puzzle that needed solving.
My stomach turned as I picked up my utensil. “Thank you for cooking.”
Ignoring my plate, he snarled, “Why the fuck you so pale?”
I took a deep breath, hoping to gain color and not worry him. “Am I?”
Sitting in his normal seat at the dining table, Vice was in front of a laptop. Headphones on, he was listening to the eavesdropping device he’d stuck in the doc’s office after breaking in.
Without looking at his cell, Lynx pulled it to his ear. “Make it quick.” His expression softened. “Hey, babe… No. Not so much… Not eating… Dunno… Yeah. Hold on.” He handed me the phone.
Shyly, I said, “Hello?”
“You okay?”
There was something so soothing about her voice. My tense shoulders relaxed a hair. “My stomach feels all twisty.”
“Aww. Okay, well, don’t put food on an upset stomach.” I stared down at the heaping plate. “Can you drink some of that hot tea I sent you?”
I took a gander at the two overbearing bikers staring at me, not sure how to explain it was ‘teatime’. “Uh, yeah, sure—”
“Yo!” Vice knocked on the dining table. “He’s bringing her in.”
“I gotta go!” I didn’t even say goodbye to Elle. I just handed over the phone to Lynx while leaping off the stool, needing to be with Lace any way I could.
By the time I got to the dining table, Vice was removing the earphones. Dagger and Lynx were following me as Lynx told Elle ‘club business’ had just come up and he’d call her back.
After Vice tapped on his laptop keyboard, I heard a man’s voice, “Good morning, Vera. Did you get any rest last night?”
Taking a seat at the dining table, I thought about how I had almost expected Doctor Landon to sound old and creepy, but his voice was actually very stable with no hint of hidden agendas, unlike how I had imagined. That brought me relief and made me wonder why I had been so apprehensive about this hypnosis session.
The relief was short-lived.
Up to this point, I had only heard Lacey how she sounded with me. That is why I was almost appalled to hear a timid side of her as she barely whispered, “Yes.”
She sounded so petrified I imagined her arms holding her upper body, nervously playing with long hair that no longer existed.
Doctor Landon sounded compassionate. “Vera, don’t forget, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You can have a seat and we can just talk. Nothing more.”
She was barely audible. “The couch?”
“Of course!” His elation at the suggestion was questionable until I heard a creak and him lightly chuckling. “You love that chair.”
It sounded as if she was curling up in the chair as she explained, ever so quietly, “The arms. I like arms around me.”
Remembering how she melted to me the night before as I held her, my eyes slid shut. My poor Pretty Girl.
Doctor Landon asked, “Do you think that maybe you miss being held?”
Silence had my eyes reopening. Did she ever speak of me?
Faintly, she replied, “No.”
Three sets of shoulders drooped as if they had worried about Lace telling the doc about me.
“Vera, does it make you sad to be missing out on such an act as being held?”
“No,” her voice came through the laptop speaker.
“Why is there a slight smile on your face, Vera?”
Lynx, Dagger, and Vice smirked at me, knowing my girl was thinking of me as she sweetly answered, “Pretty Girl dreams, that’s all.”
“I am pleased to hear you are having nice dreams.”
“Me too,” she whispered.
“Do you have any questions about what we planned on trying today?”
“Yes… Why now? Why didn’t you try this when I first came here?”
“I felt it best to try other avenues first.”
Dagger and Lynx nodded, pleased with what they were hearing.
Lacey asked, “Will this avenue help with my memories? So that I can leave?”
“Vera, I can’t make any promises of what you will remember, and I refuse to force you to remember what your mind is rejecting.”
Dagger and Lynx nodded again.
“But I can tell you that I might learn some things to help your treatment, so that, yes, someday you can leave.”
After a moment, her gentle voice said, “Okay. I would like to try then.”
My heart started to pound again. A part of me had hoped she would refuse this treatment.
It is simply amazing how the mind works…and what mine saw coming.
Lacey was swiftly under Doctor Landon’s command. His hypnosis taking hold, he kept reassuring her, “You are calm. You are safe…”
I wanted to crash into that office and demand he stop, but that was clearly not an option.
“What is your name?” he asked.
Entranced, Pretty Girl sounded so tranquil. “It is Lacey.”
“What is your last name?”
Four sets of jaws dropped.
Dagger asked us gawking ones, “Are we fucking morons?”
As Lacey revealed her childhood name, Lynx smacked his forehead. “I was so worried about that fragile brain of hers that I didn’t stop to think he would ask the obvious. Jesus. H. Christ!”
Vice shook his head. “Damnit. He’s going to notify authorities.”
That safety net of Serenity was about to crumble.
By the time we listened again, Doctor Landon was regressing Lacey. “… Now you are twelve… Ten…”
The only reason I can think of why he wasn’t asking her questions about her at her present age is that he assumed it was too traumatic. Maybe he thought her younger years would be a safe time to begin as he requested her to go back further and further into her childhood. “You are now six years old. Look around and tell me what you see.”
Was he expecting fond memories of loving parents? A safe environment most wish all children have?
Lacey still sounded like the seventeen-year-old she was, but her words were pronounced with an eerie young way of speaking. “I am in my daddy’s garwage.”
My body broke into chills. She had told me about what happened in that garage.
“Brothers hurting me.” She was in a surreal state, speaking as if she wasn’t affected by the brother’s torture.
I was nothing of the sort. In my chair, I found myself slightly rocking while Doctor Landon said, “Very good, Lacey. They can’t hurt you. You are safe.”
“Mmhmm. My daddy is yelling at them…”
It was hard to breathe as I listened to the little girl version of my wife tell the terrifying tale of her father’s death. How the brothers murdered him coldly and callously in that garage. Only boys themselves, they were already working so efficiently together.
Weighted exhales told me Doctor Landon was a bit shaken but attempting to hide it for his patient’s sake. “Lacey, you a
re now seven. Can you explain what you are seeing?”
My wife numbly replied, “I am in a cage with my friend.”
“You have a friend? What is her name?”
“He’s a boy. Tate.”
On its own accord, my spine stiffened, having me sitting up board straight.
“The fuck?” mumbled Dagger.
All eyes locked on me again. I was clueless as to why she was mentioning me.
Through the speaker, Lacey warned, “He says I need to be quiet.”
Under the heavy stares, I shook my head. “I-I’ve never been in a cage.”
Composedly, Doc’s voice echoed from the laptop, “Why do you need to be quiet, Lacey?”
The first crack in her numb demeanor presented itself in a whisper. “So, they won’t chase us.”
My chest tightened as my heart raced. “This never happened. I don’t understand.”
Doctor asked, “Who are they? More friends?”
“No.” Her whisper was now shaky. “Bad men.”
Doctor Landon’s voice lost a tad of its steadiness. There was a hair more urgency. “Lacey, can you see these bad men right now?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Are there four of them?” Knowing of the four shadows, I understood why he would assume this.
She sniffled before her next whisper, “No. More, and they are coming for us.”
My hands slammed to the table as I tried to support myself, trying to not fall from my chair. I kept repeating, “This never happened,” but my sudden gasps for air were telling a different story. Fear, as if a physical being—or many of them—was running up behind me, trying to capture me. “T-This never happened…”
Lacey’s little whispers dared me to remember. “He’s holding me, telling me to run when they let us out.”
“When the bad men let you and Tate out of the cage?”
“Mmhmm. All of us. So many keys.”
Hostile Saint (Steel Stallions MC Book 1) Page 18