“Keys? Lacey? Is there more than one cage?”
She hiccupped a cry. “Mmhmm.”
Doctor Landon was sounding winded. “With children?”
“Mmhmm.”
The doctor’s voice was now beginning to wobble. “How many cages do you see?”
She started to softly cry. “I can’t count that high. I can only count to ten.”
My eyes slammed shut. “This never happened—”
Lacey’s breathing heightened, prompting the doctor to ask, “What is happening now, Lacey?”
She sounded even more scared. “We’re all running.”
“Lacey, you are safe. They can’t hurt you—”
Her whisper was gone, her voice now louder. “Tate says they can! He’s telling me, ‘Run! Lucey, Run!”
My whole body jolted as I thought of the night being in the trunk. I had yelled the exact same thing to her. Except, as a man, I could say Lacey with no issues. “No, no, no…” I started seeing images of dark trees, like from the night in the trunk, but these trees were different. They weren’t from Colorado. They were from somewhere else! And from under these trees, I could now hear an exasperated breath behind me as I dragged— “…Oh my God,” –a little girl.
Lacey told Doctor Landon, “Tate is holding my hand. Helping me.”
She was right. I was seeing it in my head, clear as day. So clear that it was hard to comprehend I was still sitting at a dining room table.
I was running, pulling the little girl behind me through the woods I had been in before— “Oh no.” I looked to Lynx. “I think I’m remembering.”
His eyes wide with horror, he snapped at Vice, “Headphone up! We need to know if their stories match.” He looked back at me and swallowed. “Tell me.”
It was so dark, I struggled to safely pull her through the woods without tripping over fallen limbs on the ground. Our hands stayed connected, even when I fell, hauling her to the ground with me. I was already bigger than her, her tiny hand so soft in mine.
Not even bothering to wipe either of us off, I’d yanked the little girl back up to her red sneakered feet. I had seen what happened to the other kids when they were captured. It was horrendous. This was Lucey’s first time there. I couldn’t let it happen to her.
A couple of kids followed us, possibly too scared to think for themselves. I couldn’t see their faces in the dark, but I wanted to save them all.
I tried. I swear I did—
A firm hand grabbed the back of my neck and jostled. Lynx told me, “You not trying to save them never crossed my mind. Feel me?”
We were now on the couch. I didn’t even remember getting there. On a chair on the other side of the coffee table, sat Dagger. Somewhat pale, as if affected by every word I was speaking.
Lynx’s nostrils flared. “Okay, you were running in the woods.”
“Yes…” I fell again. There had been a slight drop-off that it was too dark to see. I ended up dragging Lucey with me as I slid down dirt and dead leaves. I could hear the two kids slipping down after us, all squealing and crying in fear.
Lucey’s hand never let me go. In fact, her other one now also clutched my one as I tried to guide our fall to protect us from injuries, slamming into tree trunks and debris.
When I saw a dark shadow at the bottom, I knew debris was the least of our worries. A robed man was waiting for us. I wasn’t the first child to make this grave mistake.
As soon as we neared the bottom, the man reached over my head and easily grasped the little girl I was valiantly trying to save. He had her in the air by her hair. I was seven and didn’t stand a chance against him, but the two other tumbling kids did. They slammed into me, then the three of us crashed into him, not by choice, and took him down as he tripped backward over a fallen tree trunk behind him.
The hood over his head slipped back, and he let out a groan before his hand accidentally released Lucey. Next to him, on the ground, she looked petrified.
Scrambling to get up, I yelled, “Run! Lucey, run!”
She did, making the man very angry. He grabbed my ankle as I tried to run past him, forcing me to crash back down to the ground. As he pulled on my leg, I kicked and kicked, managing to land my sneaker in his face. Crunch went his nose.
Instantly, he freed me, grabbing his face while howling in pain.
Wasting no time, I got to my feet and tried to warn the other two kids to also run, but froze when seeing who they were.
“Damien and Crow.”
I don’t think Lynx breathed as his mind raced… His eyes slid shut. “And there it is. They were taught, by once being the prey.”
I ran in the direction Lucey had darted. I couldn’t find her but soon came across a clump of her blond hair, probably from the man’s cruel grip. So, I picked it up and kept running—
“You did this—” said Dagger, in amazement, “—on the way to Serenity—in the woods. Her hair, kid.”
My mouth fell open. He was right. Now, actions that were so random made perfect sense. I had already been touching on a memory…
Within a few moments, I heard a choking and splashing! “Luce! Luce!” I charged toward the torturous sounds.
There she was, in the shallow part of a big round lake, too short to reach. Due to the darkness, she must’ve run right into the water by mistake. By the time she realized her error, it was too late. Her struggles took her out further into the water.
Seeing that my Lucey couldn’t swim, I sprinted toward the water that my father had once taught me was safe. That all changed after seeing how water could kill. I had never gone back in the pool after that. Now, I either surrendered to the fear or let that liquid take Lucey, too.
Into the water, I went…
Dagger slammed his ringed hands over his face. “I can’t believe this is happening. It’s like you relived it, right in front of us.”
Also in disbelief, I nodded, remembering that water on the way to Serenity.
Because of my father’s expertise, I was swimming as a baby and able to support another body by three. That is why I swam around her and wrapped my arm over her chest from behind, then started kicking us back to shore.
She was panicked, but Luce—as her older self continues to do—had full trust in me. Her gasping body let me lead the way. Her little red shoes floated up to the surface as her cold hands held on to my arm around her chest.
Again, I was taking us straight into another trap. The cloaked man was on the shore, holding his bleeding nose, waiting for me to bring her in.
Instantly, I switched directions, swimming away from him. That’s when I saw more cloaked men appearing on different sides of the lake. There were at least four more men.
The original one I had helped Luce escape from yelled, “He has mine!”
The men entering the water, to stand in the shallow parts, all tried to encourage me to swim to them. There was no way I was giving them this little girl, so I swam to the center of the lake, pulling her along. She was crying but didn’t protest my actions. It was a huge risk, but what choice did I have? Anywhere I swam us to, they would have beat me on foot and captured her.
“Get back here, you little bastard!”
“How did you not tire in the middle of the lake like that?” asked Dagger.
My hands were trembling. “Crash course in floating.”
Lynx shook his head in awe. “She trusted you and listened.”
I treaded water, keeping Luce’s floating body right next to me. She was breathing hard, understandably so, but on her back, staring at the sky.
It ended up my efforts were in vain. Two men in a rowboat came paddling toward us.
Even though outswimming the boat was never going to happen, especially at the age of seven while dragging a body, I tried anyway, dragging Luce’s floating body wherever I went.
Wham! A paddle hit me on the top of the head… “And everything went black.”
Lynx sunk back against the couch. “I… Jesus. Who the fuck are t
hese men?”
Dagger squinted his eye. “The embankment. Where Lynx showed you Lacey’s footmarks. What’s the connection there—in your memory?”
I swallowed. “It was still dark when I finally woke up, half in and out of the water, tied to the boat. Next to me, in the mud, were her little shoe prints, leaving the lake behind.”
“She got away?” Lynx practically yelled, desperate for a happy ending.
“No.” My eyes filled with water. “Large prints were next to her little ones.” I took a deep breath, trying to gain the courage to handle these recovered memories. “On the way to Serenity, I saw her adult bare-toed markings.” Overwhelmed, I shrugged. “Pretty Girl was making new footprints.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Surrendering Hearts
Still sitting on the couch, anxiety slowly drifted away like a storm simply passing by. There may have been some destruction left about, but it was over. That’s what I learned that day. Every storm will pass. Now, it was time to pick up the pieces. I had many to collect.
Mine and my wife’s.
Next to me, I stared at Lynx and spoke with peaceful exhaustion. “I am so sorry that I have turned out to be so challenging. You tried to help a young man who is now revealing a lot of baggage. If you need to back away, Lynx, for your sanity and the sake of this club, I swear I will understand.”
It was weak, and as peacefully worn as me, but Lynx slightly smirked. “I bet you would, Saint.”
Sitting across from me in a chair, Dagger rested his elbows on his thighs. “Baggage? Pup, we found you in a pool of blood. We had a clue you would be a ‘challenge’.”
I dipped my chin. “Point taken.”
“Good.” Then Dagger asked, “Could you find your way back to where this happened?”
Thumbing over my shoulder to Vice, in headphones, I stared at the man who was one of the best I’d ever know. “I take it you don’t need to compare my story to hers?”
Observing me intently, he shook his head slowly. “Kid, we are bullshit detectors and gut followers. I’d bet my life what you’re spillin’ is real.”
In some sort of surrender or deep understanding, I calmly nodded. “Yeah, it happened.”
Lynx asked me, “Do you know what the chase was about? What happened to the kids once caught?”
Again, I serenely nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
Just then, Vice’s chair abruptly skidded backward. I didn’t even have to look over my shoulder to see him leap out of his chair. In the reflection of the sliding glass door, I saw him rip off his earphones, throw them to the table, then back away from the laptop until his back was plastered against a wall, almost on the balls of his feet like a scared cat.
Dagger sunk his face into his palms. “God help us.”
Muscles in Lynx’s jaw twitched as he stared at his brave and formidable Enforcer, now spooked and positively horrified. Then Lynx swallowed before letting out a very long breath of sorrow. He quietly said to Vice, “Tell me that’s being recorded.”
Eyeing the laptop like it were a newfound enemy, Vice sneered, “It is, but I ain’t ever listening to it again. And you can’t fucking make me.”
When these men first learned of incidents that had happened to me by the brothers, it was Lynx who lost control, damaging the rental car. Now, it was Vice’s turn to wave the flag of mercy.
In the reflection of the glass, I watched him approach me from behind the couch. This huge and burly man grabbed my face and held it firmly as he leaned his forehead to the top of my hair.
I held his wrists. “She’ll be okay, Vice. She’ll be okay.”
Holding tight, he jostled my head. “And you?”
Now that I was remembering all the revulsion that had him so disturbed, it was amazing how calm I was. But there was peace in finally knowing my past. It was made of maddening nightmares, but at least there were no more secrets. There were things to learn and endure, but my past was all mine now. What I chose to do with it, how I chose to handle it, was completely up to me.
That was empowering.
Those sick men, my fake brothers, my pretend mom, may have all taken from me, but they lacked the power to prevent me from giving to myself. I was going to own my healing process. When I chose to be strong, I would be. If I chose to have a bad day, well, that was my fucking choice.
I kept a hold of Vice’s wrists. “I can honestly say that I’m okay. It’s not going to always be easy, but I believe I can do this.”
Not lifting his head from mine, Vice nodded. He held us there for a few moments before saying, “I don’t have pity for you. I have admiration for your strength.” I was just about to comment on the unexpected soft side he was exposing, but then he exhaled. “It will be an honor to be by your side when we kill these fuckers.”
Maybe it is twisted to find comfort in a plan to murder, but his wanting to be there meant so much to me that I couldn’t speak.
Yeah, I guess Lynx was right when saying bikers are a different breed.
As if my silence was totally readable, Vice nodded his head against mine. “Good.” Then he added, “I feel the need to go watch over your wife.”
Those words felt like God was empowering me even more. This time, through another deadly biker. I was grateful for the blessing, so I whispered, “Then I know she will be safe.”
Affectionately, he knocked his forehead to the top of my head and left.
In the garage, his dragon roared to life… and faded away.
Dagger leaned back in his chair. “I have never seen that man like that.”
Lynx eyed the laptop behind me. “We’ve seen wicked shit, kid. We’ve dealt with some of the vilest of men.” He exhaled, long and hard. “Men like I’m describing had my sister.” He peered to the ground. “They had children, too.” His eyes slid shut. “Chained… Doghouses…” His grey eyes opened, haunted from memories I couldn’t see but could sure feel and sympathize with. “But… those twisted fucks were driven by money. Did they rape their victims?” He nodded. “Yeah, but… pleasure in the ‘hunt’ of their victims?” He bit his bottom lip. “Nah. The drive behind what you’re describing is making my skin crawl.”
He didn’t push for answers, but I knew this Prez wanted them. It was in his nature to know and study what he was up against. So, I told him, “My past in those woods now feels like I’ve finally finished rereading a whole book. But please understand, the first time I read it I was terribly young.”
His chest expanded then relaxed. “And now? Seeing those pages with older eyes?”
My throat tightened. “I know I’m lucky to be alive.” My breathing became strained. “I’m lucky she is alive.” My choice. How I react is my choice. I took a deep breath to calm myself again. “My older eyes can now comprehend those men were worshiping a source most don’t want to tangle with.”
Dagger grimaced. “Devil shit?”
I thought about the blankets sprawled around a huge fire pit that had a metal pole in the flames. On top of the tall rod rested a large horned animal skull that had dried blood on it from the ‘offerings’. “Most of the kids died. It was part of their rituals.”
As if my next words were going to physically wound him, Lynx leaned away from me and carefully asked, “The kids were sacrifices?”
On every blanket was a drug-dazed child. Naked. Near them were empty cups and empty wine glasses, half-eaten chunks of bread, and slightly intoxicated robed men on their knees. “They were sacrificed, but not in the way you may be thinking. It was more as if they were being used for their young essence. The things that were said and done tell me these men believed that we—the children—were vessels for acquiring certain levels of energy.”
Dagger’s head twisted so that his unpatched eye could barely see me as he glared. “Why is the hair on my arms standing?”
“Probably because all this went beyond what pedophiles do. In fact, the sex wasn’t truly about sex. It was men trying to celebrate their godly status. They believed they were wor
thy of connecting with a power that churches despise.”
Lynx growled, “What the fuck do the kids have to do with that bullshit?”
“That’s just it. They didn’t see kids. They saw vessels. They saw youth that had power they wished to harness and use for their own benefit. The chase—the possession of the vessel—was a claim, in a sense. After that came the connection to the vessel.”
Dagger shook his head. “I don’t want to know, but…” He waved for me to continue.
“Even with being drugged by the bread, their fluid,” my stomach soured, remembering the warm liquid, “was… still terrible. They would chant about a part of them now being in us as they forced us to drink their urine.”
“The. Fuck?”
“It was preparation to properly use the vessel and tap into the dark source they wanted contact with.”
Sensing what was coming, both men hissed.
As if back at that fire, I saw drugged expressions of fear on little faces. “Then it progressed. The next stage of the ritual was even more traumatic.” I heard all the men chanting in a language that didn’t sound human-like. “During sexual acts, the closer we were to death, the closer the men felt they were to tapping into the source.” In memory, I could feel myself choking for air… “Asphyxiation. We were suffocated then resuscitated, over and over, while our bodies were being used.” My heart ached. “Most of the kids finally succumbed.” I wish I had been older so I could’ve helped them.
I didn’t even know I had said that last part out loud until Lynx assured me, “You’re older now. You’re not powerless anymore.”
In dismay, Dagger asked, “What happened to the poor dead kids?”
“They buried them.”
His shoulders sagged. “Oh, thank God. It was over.”
That wasn’t the case, so I didn’t lead him astray with the sweet notion.
Noting my silence, he gulped. “Or maybe not.”
Starting to feel extremely drained, I explained, “They were buried, but… after a short amount of time, they were dug back up.”
Both men leaned away again, mumbling things like, “No,” and “Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”
Hostile Saint (Steel Stallions MC Book 1) Page 19