“Kevin!” she screamed, but he didn’t respond. Mickey was right behind her, his face pale in fear and worry.
“Kevin?” He knelt and took Kevin’s head in his lap.
The ambulance driver had to push Mickey out of the way to get Kevin on a gurney.
“We’ll take him to Sacred Heart,” he told Helen.
Helen followed the ambulance and paced in the waiting room while Kevin was in surgery. Mickey was there as well, sitting with his head in his hands.
“We came as soon as we heard.” Jimmy came in, followed by several men. “How is he?”
“We don’t know anything yet,” Helen said.
They waited in silence until the doctor came in, grim faced.
“We’ve done all we can do. It doesn’t look good.”
“When can we see him?” Helen asked.
“He’s in recovery. He’ll be in his room in a few hours.”
“What should we do, boss?” Jimmy asked after the doctor left.
“Go on home. I’ll stay with Kevin.”
“You want us to go after someone?”
Helen was numb. Kevin was at death’s doorstep. As much as she knew someone should pay for this, she wasn’t able to formulate a plan.
“Give me some time,” she said. “I can’t think right now.”
“Okay. Well, we’ll leave you here, but we’ll be back to check on him. He’s gonna be okay. He’s a survivor.”
Helen nodded. She wanted to believe that, but the doctor’s words scared her.
Kevin was moved to a room and Helen sat at his bedside. Others came to visit, but Helen stayed put. Kevin looked so peaceful sleeping. Helen wondered what was going through his mind, if anything. She was happy to see him stress free, but wished more than anything that he’d wake up.
Mickey came by every day to check on Kevin. Helen left during those times to give them some privacy. She never left the hospital, though.
“Why don’t you go home for a break?” Jimmy asked on the third day of her vigil. “I’ll stay with him and I’ll call you if there’s any change.”
“Thanks, but my place is with him. He’d do the same thing for me. I want to be here when he wakes up.”
She spent the hours casting her memory back to their days coming up on the streets. She remembered Kevin standing up for her on more than one occasion. Helen had always been the brains and usually kept them out of trouble, but there were a couple of times that she’d talked them into a corner and Kevin had come out swinging. She always knew she was safe as long as Kevin was around.
Helen woke from a quick doze on the fifth day and looked at the sleeping form of her friend of all those years. She felt so hopeless, wishing there was something she could do for him.
Suddenly, Kevin’s eyes fluttered open.
“Kevin!” she called out. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly. “Kevin, you’re awake!”
His eyes closed again, and he exhaled, then lay silent.
“Kevin? Kevin!” Helen collapsed over his still form. “Kevin, no you don’t. You’re not gonna die. Not on my watch.”
He didn’t respond, and she knew it was useless. Her right-hand man was gone.
*
The cemetery was filled with men who had come to pay their final respects to Kevin Donegal. Helen was surrounded, her men determined that nothing would happen to her. She threw dirt on the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. She fought the tears that threatened. She was crushed but knew better than to show any weakness in public.
She climbed into the backseat of Jimmy’s car and waited for the others to pile in. They drove back to headquarters in silence. Helen swallowed hard when they arrived. It wasn’t the same without Kevin’s constant presence.
Jimmy poured her a drink, which she gladly accepted. She knew she had to get it together soon, as her men were looking to her for leadership. She could grieve on her own time, but for now, they needed her.
“We should go to the Beaver,” Jimmy suggested.
“We’ll get there,” Helen said. “I need some time first.”
She knew she needed to go on, but the desire to crawl into a hole was overwhelming. She thought about letting Jimmy run things for a while, but she knew that wouldn’t work. What would she do if she wasn’t running the gang? She’d sit around and be miserable. She needed to get her head back into the business to occupy her mind. And she needed to get even with Moretti for killing Kevin.
The men were getting restless, so Helen pulled herself together.
“Let’s go to the Beaver. Kevin needs a proper send off.”
Helen wanted to drive, but her men wouldn’t hear of it. She agreed with them. She needed constant protection. So she climbed into Jimmy’s car once more.
They had the place to themselves for several hours, during which many of the men went upstairs to spend some time with the girls. Helen stayed at her table, drinking more than she should, but not caring. She wasn’t about to get drunk, but it felt good to have a little buzz. She needed to dull the sharp edge of pain that had become a constant in her life.
Slowly but surely, the place livened up. Soon, the atmosphere was raucous, with the band playing and people dancing and drinking.
Helen was lost in thought and was surprised when her men jumped to their feet. She followed their gazes to the door and felt like she’d been punched in her gut when she saw Maria walk in. She stayed seated as Maria crossed to her table.
“What do you want?” Helen asked.
“I heard about Kevin.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“Helen, I’m very sorry. Really, I am.”
“So am I,” Helen said.
“May I sit down?” Maria asked.
Helen shrugged.
Maria sat next to her and wrung her hands. Helen felt the tension between them and could barely remember that they’d been lovers.
“Where’s Moretti?” Helen asked.
“I don’t know.”
“I hope you’re happy with him.”
“I’m not. I left him,” Maria said.
“You what?”
“I said I left him. When I heard about Kevin, I left Franco. I can’t be with him.”
“But you chose him over me. Why would Kevin’s death change your mind?”
“I never stopped caring about you, Helen.”
“Spare me.”
“This isn’t easy for me,” Maria said.
“Let me make it easy for you. Get out of here. Leave and don’t come back.”
Maria stood, a lone tear streaming down her cheek.
“I can’t change your mind?”
“Why are you crying?”
“Helen, I’m telling you I want another chance with you.”
“Now isn’t a good time for me,” Helen said.
“That’s fine.” Maria sat back down. “I don’t need an answer now. I just want you to know I’m here for you.”
“You left Moretti for killing someone. How many people has he killed before? Why Kevin?”
“Because I know how close you and Kevin were. And I realized that Franco’d stop at nothing to kill you. I’m sure you know that. When Kevin was killed, it really hit home. And I can’t be with him. I mean, I knew you were enemies, but it didn’t connect. Even with all the shootings. But now I see that you won’t stop until one of you is dead. I can’t choose him over you.”
Helen listened to Maria and willed herself to believe her. Wasn’t this what she wanted? To have Maria leave Moretti and come back to her? Why wasn’t she able to appreciate it? She should be excited, bouncing up and down and welcoming Maria back with open arms. Still, she felt numb.
“I guess I’m not very good company tonight,” she said lamely. “I don’t even know what to say.”
Maria stood again.
“I understand. You don’t have to say anything. When you’re able to think about something besides Kevin, whenever that is, please think about what I said. You have my number. I’m o
nly a phone call away.”
Chapter Twenty
“I want someone tailing Moretti at all times,” Helen told her men. “I don’t want him pissing without me knowing about it.”
“Who’s gonna do that?” Jimmy asked.
“Divvy it up among all of you. Figure it out. But I don’t want him ever out of our sight. I’m not going to quit ’til he’s dead. Am I making myself clear?”
“You got it.”
“And if you see an opening, for God’s sake, take it.”
Helen settled in to work on the ledgers, which she’d neglected for several weeks. It was nice to be back. She felt almost normal. She kept expecting to see Kevin every time she turned around, but the numbness was receding, anger and hatred taking its place.
She was determined that Moretti would pay for Kevin’s death. When all the men except the faction assigned to guard her cleared out to make the rounds, she focused on the numbers for about an hour until thoughts of Maria floated through her mind. She hadn’t called her, hadn’t even thought about her since that night at the Beaver.
She wondered how serious Maria had been. Sure, she didn’t want to be with Moretti anymore, but would she really want to be with Helen? Was it the killing and violence that Maria despised or was she truly choosing Helen over Moretti?
She made herself finish entering numbers, happy with the way the books were looking. Money was rolling in. Businesses were prospering, although not in the neighborhood around Mickey’s. Helen made a mental note to swing by Mickey’s to see how he was doing. She hadn’t seen him since the funeral. She wondered yet again about the relationship between him and Kevin. She was sad for Kevin if he had truly been in love, but lived his life hiding it.
The thought brought her back to Maria. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep her mind off her. She finally gave up and called her.
For the first time in a long time, Maria took her call.
“Hello, Helen. Thank you for calling.”
“I felt I owed it to you. It’s the least I could do.”
“Well, that’s not promising.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t better company the other night.”
“You already apologized for that,” Maria said.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure why I called,” Helen said.
“I don’t know either, but I’m glad you did.”
“Can I take you to lunch?”
“I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll be there at noon. But I won’t be alone.”
“Fair enough. I’ll be ready.”
Helen arrived at exactly noon. She sent up a man to Maria’s door as she sat in the car, on edge. Her other men who followed them were out of their car, looking everywhere. Helen’s man and Maria returned to the car and Maria sat in the backseat with Helen. The other men got in their car and the entourage drove off.
Helen breathed a little easier as they reached the West Side and were surrounded by friendly sights. They drove to Donovan’s for lunch. The men scattered throughout the restaurant, determined to keep their eyes open for anyone suspicious. Helen and Maria sat quietly at their own table.
“It’s so strange to have you surrounded by all these men,” Maria said.
“It’s necessary. I doubt Moretti will stop with Kevin.”
“I’m so sorry about that,” Maria said.
“So explain to me again why you left Moretti,” Helen said.
“I told you. If one of you is going to die, I’d rather it not be you. So I can’t be with him knowing that’s his goal.”
“To be clear, then, is it the fact that he’s gunning for me the problem? Or is it all the killing in general?”
“I don’t like killing, Helen. But I’ve been involved with gangs since I was a kid. It’s part of the life. I know this. I don’t like that Moretti wants you dead.”
Helen ordered their lunches and wine. It was almost like before. Almost. Yet the pain from being dumped was still there. She wanted their relationship back, but she didn’t want to be hurt again.
“You understand why I hesitate to simply embrace you and take you back, don’t you?”
“Of course,” Maria said. “But please understand. I really thought you were using me. That hurt.”
“I was keeping you safe. I wanted to make sure you weren’t at the gambling hall that night,” Helen said.
“I believe you now. But I didn’t then. I thought you just needed an alibi.”
“But what about all the other times we were together? What did you think of those times?”
“I thought you were just setting me up. I felt like I knew what I was getting with Moretti. So I chose him. But my heart lies with you. I realize this now.”
“Well, I’m glad you came to your senses.”
“I do hope you’ll give me another chance, Helen.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Helen knew she sounded cold, but her heart was too tender to just offer it up again. “We can go out, see if we still fit. We’ll take it slow.”
Their conversation was interrupted when the waiter brought their food.
“I’d like that.” Maria reached across the table and took Helen’s hand.
Helen’s heart skipped a beat. She’d missed Maria’s touch. It was soft and caring, and as much as she wished she could deny it, it felt good. She squeezed back.
“We can take it as slow as you need to,” Maria said.
“Thank you for understanding. My heart’s a little raw right now. I can’t take much more loss.”
“I’m not going to hurt you again. I promise.”
“I want to believe you. I do. It’s just not easy.”
Helen took her hand back and they started on their lunches.
“So when did you call it off with Moretti?” Helen asked.
“Two days before I last saw you.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Not well. He called me some choice names and told me I’d never amount to anything without him.”
“What a schmuck. You’re much better off without him.”
“I think so. He was so angry at me. I was scared. I still am, a little.”
“He’d better not try to hurt you.”
“Part of me thinks I’m not worth it to him, but part of me thinks I made him look like a dunce and he’ll want to get back at me.”
“I’d assign one of my guys to you, but I don’t want any of my men spending that much time in the South. You’re welcome to stay with me.”
“What happened to taking it slow?”
“We can still take it slow. Trust me.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind? I’d feel safer.”
“Sure. Just know I’m seldom alone,” Helen said.
“I can understand that. I’m sure you’re a target, now more than ever.”
“I’ll send some men over after lunch to pack up some things.”
“Thank you, Helen.”
“You’re welcome.”
*
Helen sent four of her men with instructions not to let Maria out of their sight unless Helen was with her. Her squadron drove her back to headquarters. She found Jimmy there with several other men.
“What are you guys doing?” she asked.
“We just finished our takes. You want me to make rounds with you?” Jimmy said.
Helen realized she’d eventually have to introduce someone else with her when she made her collections, but it was too soon. Or so it felt. The reality was, now was as good a time as any. It wasn’t safe for her to go alone, and Jimmy was proving himself in the gang.
“Sure. Let’s go pick up some cash.” She pointed to two young guns, Ralphie and Hank. “One of you drive. The other ride shotgun. Let’s go.”
“I could have driven, boss,” Jimmy said when they were in the car.
“No. You sit back here with me. Hank will keep me safe from his place. You’ll keep me safe from there. That’s how I want it.”
“You got it.”
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Jimmy met all the people on Helen’s route. No one asked any questions. They just accepted that he was a new guy. When they finally got to Mickey’s, Helen stopped out front.
“You guys hang out here. I’ll go in there alone.”
“You sure? That doesn’t seem safe.”
“I’m sure,” Helen said, knowing it would kill Mickey to see someone in Kevin’s place.
She walked in and was greeted with a bear hug. Mickey held her for a full minute before pulling away.
“Good to see you, Helen. Will you be having lunch today?”
“No. I’m just here to see how business is.”
“Oh, sure.” Mickey reached behind the register and pulled out a thick white envelope. “Business has been booming.”
“Good. How are you, Mickey?”
“I have my good days. I have my bad days. Work keeps me busy, and for this, I’m grateful. Any news on the asshole who did it?”
“Don’t worry. I’m having him watched closely.”
“I hope you get the bastard,” Mickey said.
“We will, Mickey. I give you my word.”
The group headed back to headquarters, and Helen got to work splitting the money up among the lieutenants for them to share with their men. She made her entries in the ledger, handed out the money, and put the remainder in the safe. She made a mental note to give Jimmy the combination. Kevin had been the only one besides herself who knew it.
Thoughts of Kevin were with her at all times still. She missed him terribly. Jimmy was doing his best to step up, but he wasn’t Kevin. Jimmy had moved to Chicago several years earlier and met up with Kevin in a bar. Kevin had immediately brought him to Helen, telling her he’d worked for the Beacon Hill boys in Boston.
Helen welcomed him and hadn’t been disappointed. He was always bringing more money and new ideas. He was the one who’d suggested they start selling hashish as well as marijuana at the Beaver and Lucky’s. He was smart and willing. Two traits Helen admired and needed.
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