The Wandering Inn_Volume 1

by Pirateaba

  She’d fix that. Erin’s face was determined as she hefted her pack full of hamburger components. It was time to visit the city.

  And how easy it was to get to Liscor! Erin felt like she’d barely stepped out of her inn before she was at the gates. It was ten times better than her freezing trip of yesterday, but maybe that was also because she had warm clothing.

  All this purchasing of food and clothing was eating away at Erin’s small cache of cash, but that was okay. She was in a good mood, and things were looking up.

  “Krshia! Hey, how are you?”

  Erin smiled as she greeted the tall Gnoll shopkeeper. Krshia looked up from her stall, mildly surprised. Normally Erin found her way to the market around midday at the earliest, but today she was here bright and early.

  “Erin. It is good to see you, yes? I had heard you had much trouble yesterday?”

  “Oh? You heard about that?”

  “The guardsman Relc, he came by quite drunk yesterday talking about your inn that exploded. And then apparently was rebuilt in one day. He was quite drunk, yes? I wished to know if you were well. If you had not come today I would have gone to look for you.”

  “You’re so nice. But I’m fine! And Relc was telling the truth. My inn did explode. It was totally gone when I got there. Boom. Half of it blown away. But then Klbkch and the Antinium came by and rebuilt it. Somewhere else. On a hill closer to here, I mean. So I’ve got a new inn! Isn’t it great?”

  Krshia sniffed the air and shrugged.

  “You are not drunk. So you have a new inn? That is good. I must see it soon. And talk, yes? Your friend Ryoka has left, but I would speak to her as well.”

  “Everyone wants to talk to me. Did you know I’m going to have a lot of Workers in my inn? Klbkch says he wants me to teach them how to play chess. Isn’t that great?”

  “Really? How strange.”

  Krshia eyed Erin as the girl unslung her pack and edged over to one of the large braziers. She watched as Erin felt at the temperature of the coals and reached into her pack. She took a frying pan out of her pack and after a few minutes of thinking, dragged the heavy brazier closer to Krshia’s stand.

  “What are you doing, Erin Solstice?”

  “Oh, is it too close? Sorry, sorry. I forgot your shop is made of wood.”

  Erin adjusted the brazier, but Krshia shook her head. She gestured in bemusement at Erin’s setup. Erin looked blank, and then smiled widely.

  “This? I’m going to cook something.”

  “Really? Well, you may do so freely on this street I suppose. The fee is five silver coins if you make over four gold coin’s worth of profit, though.”

  Erin didn’t think that was a problem. It sounded fair. She looked around and realized she had a small problem.

  “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have a table I could borrow, would you? And maybe more coals? This is warm, but I want to refill it if it starts to cool down.”

  Krshia nodded patiently and pointed to a folded-up section of wood leaning against her shop front.

  “I have both. But what is it you are doing, Erin?”

  “Making hamburgers.”

  “What is a hamburger? Is it made of pigs or boars?”

  “Nope! At least…I don’t think so. Let’s just call it a cheeseburger instead.”

  “Ah. So it is made of cheese?”

  “Um. Let me just get set up and I’ll show you.”

  In quick order, Erin had all of her eggs in a row, her ground beef in the mixing bowl, and ingredients neatly packed off to one side of the table. The main space on the table was occupied by a bowl of mayo and ketchup she’d brought from her inn. She’d wrapped it with wax paper, but both condiments were slightly crusty. A spoon and some stirring solved that, and then Erin put out the platter.

  It was big, and empty, and that was about to change. Erin took one of the patties she’d made out of ground beef and flipped it onto her frying pan. The metal had been resting in the coals and it was so hot the meat hissed as it struck the pan’s surface.

  Krshia had been dealing with a Drake customer while she waited for Erin’s antics to start making sense. But when she heard the cooking meat her ears pricked up.

  Erin fried her first hamburgers with an eye towards Krshia’s possible tastes. So it was barely a minute of cooking before she flipped the burger and let the heated metal take the patty just past ‘uncooked’ to ‘rare’. She used a spatula to lever the juicy burger onto a waiting bun, added some lettuce and a bit of sliced onion…cheese…and then, it was ready.

  “Burger time!”

  Erin presented her creation to Krshia and the Gnoll eyed the dripping cheeseburger suspiciously. Suspiciously, but with definite interest.

  “Mm. What is this?”

  “It’s called a hamburger. Or a cheeseburger. It’s really good. Try it!”

  Krshia took the hamburger with one paw. Erin had made her patties big and her buns were equally generous. This was closer to a Burger King burger than the sad, small cheeseburgers you could get from McDonalds. Except that Erin’s burger was even bigger. The meat was half the burger, not some lesser percentage.

  Even so, Krshia’s hand easily lifted the burger to her mouth. The Gnoll hesitated and eyed Erin. Her Drake customer was watching the burger with interest. A drop of grease fell from the burger onto Krshia’s fur.

  She took a bite. Erin held her breath. But in her heart she wasn’t really worried. Because she knew the truth.

  Maybe in this world different species preferred a variety of foods. And it was true that chefs who had [Advanced Cooking] could probably create dishes Erin couldn’t match. And possibly some inns had menus designed to cater to their clientele.

  But. This was a hamburger. It had stayed as one of world’s greatest and most popular foods for over a century. The people of this world might have cuisine, but Erin had fast food. Their taste buds would never know what hit them.

  Krshia’s eyes widened as she chewed the burger. She stared at the colorful green lettuce, the cheese and onions, and then swallowed. Erin waited.

  Krshia took another bite. And then another. She was done with the burger in under a minute, and when she licked at her palm, Erin knew she’d won.

  Other vendors on the street? They were about to go home hungry. The Gnoll frying slices of meat? Good luck making that into a proper meal. The Drake with kebabs? Prepare to be supersized. The other Drake with hot cider?

  Actually, that sounded really good. Erin wanted to buy some.

  She’d thought about adding other dishes to her impromptu road stall, but she’d wisely decided that there wouldn’t be enough space. Besides, while the brazier could make a great grill, pizzas required ovens.

  As for drinks, a burger wasn’t complete without Coke or some other soft drink, but Ryoka hadn’t been able to tell her what went into the magic caffeinated drink. Erin had an idea to use animal fat and copious amounts of sugar to create something similar, but…no.

  “How is it?”

  Krshia looked at Erin and smiled. It was the kind of smile that spoke for itself. She bared her teeth and grinned. Her tail was sending bits of snow flying.

  Erin smiled back. The Drake shopping at Krshia’s stall looked between both grinning females.

  “I want one!”

  —-

  Selys found Erin nearly an hour later, and by that time Erin had already been forced to migrate away from Krshia’s shop. Not because the other Gnoll minded her cooking; it was just that Erin needed the space.

  She had a line. Drakes and Gnolls lined up as she flipped hamburgers as fast as she could and coins clinked into the jar she’d put on her table. From her spot at the back of the line, Selys could barely see Erin as the girl tried to juggle flipping burgers, collecting money, and talking to customers and explaining hamburgers all at once.

  The Drake took a deep breath, and then raised her voice as she pushed past customers in line.

  “Excuse me, I’d like to get through. I’m not
—excuse me, I’m not looking to buy a burger. I know that human.”

  She elbowed her way to the front of the line. Erin looked up and wiped a bead of sweat off her face as she managed five burgers in her frying pan at once.

  “Oh, hey Selys! Want a burger?”

  “Yes, please!”

  Selys turned and stuck her tongue out as the Drakes and Gnolls shouted and complained further down the line. And when a Drake stuck out her tongue, it went a lot farther than a human one.

  “You look busy.”

  “Yeah?”

  Erin raised her eyebrows as she fumbled a hamburger on a plate and gave it to a Drake. The orange-scaled Drake tasted the burger experimentally and then, apparently satisfied with the taste, bit into it as he walked down the street.

  “Yeah! You look like you’re overwhelmed. Need a friendly tail?”

  Erin nearly dropped her frying pan in the lit brazier. She wanted to hug Selys.

  “You are the best person ever. But don’t you have work?”

  Selys shook her head.

  “It’s my day off. Here—I’ll take over at the table. You just flip that meat.”

  “Can do!”

  Selys found a chair Erin hadn’t had the pleasure of using yet, and took a seat. She stared at the messy table. Ingredients mixed with some of the coins that had fallen from the jar. Grease was coating the snow and Erin had painted a clumsy hamburger on a sign and written a price next to it.

  Selys regarded the price and shook her head. She crossed out the number on Erin’s sign and doubled it. Erin frowned at Selys.

  “Selys! That’s expensive!”

  “It’s worth it. And people will pay. Or do you see anyone leaving?”

  Erin did not, although Selys was getting a lot of casual glares from her customers. But the line moved a lot faster now that Erin didn’t have to do more than concentrate on cooking. She slapped burgers together as fast as she could and reflected that when all was said and done, she was working in the fast food industry. Just like her teachers always told her she would if she didn’t study in school.

  The only difference here was that Erin was making money hand over fist. Or claw. Or furry paw.

  Gnolls and Drakes both loved the hot food. Erin had quickly learned that both species had a soft spot for hamburgers, but they liked their food cooked very differently.

  Drakes preferred their burgers well done, which was to say, fully cooked and even black in places. It didn’t seem to bother them that much, but Gnolls were an entirely different customer. They liked their burgers hot, but still rare enough to be bloody—it was the rare Gnoll who requested Erin cook theirs longer.

  They came for the shopping, but almost all of the customers in the market that day left with a burger. Erin had figured out the best way to serve her burgers was with a bit of wax paper so it could be held without spilling hot grease onto palms. You could even wrap it and take it somewhere else! Definitely a selling point.

  The line didn’t seem to get shorter no matter how many burgers Erin flipped. Word was spreading about the human with the ‘meat sandwich’ as she heard it described, and it wasn’t long after Selys joined that she heard a familiar voice.

  “She’s here! She has burgers!”

  Relc’s unmistakable voice rang through the crowd, and not a second later she saw him and a few other guardsmen at the back of the line. The guardsmen—and one female Gnoll—stared in bemusement as Relc yelled at Erin.

  “I want five—no, six!”

  She waved at him, which Relc apparently took as encouragement. He began pushing his way through the line, shouting.

  “Watch business. Move aside!”

  He encountered a lot more resistance than Selys did, but eventually Relc was panting and staring greedily at burgers as Erin loaded them onto a plate. He reached into his belt pouch and began to count out coins.

  “You can get me my burgers and pay me five silver coins since I know you’ve earned enough already.”

  “Thanks Relc—”

  Erin got no further before Relc snatched a burger from the plate and tried to fit the entire thing in his mouth. He pretty much succeeded, although Selys looked away with disgust as he chewed with his mouth open.

  “Delish!”

  Erin eventually managed to shoo Relc away with more burgers for the other guardsmen. She heard Selys apologizing to the next customer – mainly in the sense of grumbling about rude guardsmen – and looked at her raw patty stack.

  “Uh oh. I’m running out of ground beef again. Krshia!”

  The Gnoll appeared with more ingredients, fresh from some butcher’s shop. She and Erin had a good system going on. Erin paid her, and Krshia gave her everything she needed. Maybe a less-trusting partnership would have had Krshia raising prices, but in this case she was still making quite a lot acting as a supplier for Erin’s burger needs.

  Erin mixed a new batch of ground beef into patties, watched by hungry customers and curious shopkeepers. Krshia eyed Erin’s preparation with some consternation, but by that point Erin had already made the patties and it was too late for the Gnoll to interject.

  Egg, spices, thick patty that made some of the Gnolls in line start to drool. Erin blessed her [Basic Cooking] skill because it made the process nearly automatic. She didn’t have to concentrate as hard, and she knew roughly when the burgers were ready. It was great. She raised her voice as she smiled at her line of customers.

  “Alright. Who’s next?”

  Her question nearly caused a brawl.

  —-

  Five hours later, Erin wondered what would happen if she fainted into the brazier. Would she wake up before Selys pulled her out or burn to death?

  She was dog-tired, which wasn’t an insult to Gnolls. Erin kept telling Krshia that. It was just that she’d been standing in the same place making food all day long. Even with help, Erin was nearly ready to fall over.

  She’d enlisted Selys as a full-time assistant, just to take down orders and help prepare ingredients. Selys didn’t have any cooking skills, but she was competent enough. And she was better at keeping order than Erin was.

  And without Selys, Erin would have been buried by the amount of orders she’d received. The morning rush had turned into the midday rush which had gradually transitioned into the evening rush. But there were quieter points, mainly when customers staggered away from Erin’s stall clutching their groaning stomachs.

  As it turned out, Erin had made one mistake with her setup. Her bowl of condiments had been well-received although her customers just dipped their burgers in the mayonnaise and ketchup, but she didn’t have nearly enough.

  She’d run out of ketchup long ago, and the mayonnaise was only a mix of burger bits at the bottom of the bowl. And though Erin knew how to make more of each, she wasn’t keen on preparing any more, even if she’d had access to the ingredients. As it turned out, ketchup was hard and annoying to make.

  It was just the sort of thing she’d have gotten Toren to do. If he was still at the inn.

  The thought made Erin depressed, but the next customer who appeared at her stall immediately blew any thoughts of her skeleton out of her head.

  “Oh. Selys. You’re working here?”

  “Hawk. It’s rare to see you in the market. You normally shop elsewhere, right?”

  “I do, but I heard there was something good to eat today. What’s this?”

  Erin leaned against the edge of the brazier and yelped. She kept forgetting that the metal was hot. She needed a stool, or something to rest her aching feet. She heard Selys talking with her customer, but Erin had heard enough explanations to tune out most of the words.

  “It’s called a ‘hamburger’. But it doesn’t have any ham in it. It’s meat with bread and lettuce, onions, and cheese. If you add cheese it’s called a ‘cheeseburger’.”

  “How is it?”

  “Try it for yourself. It’s only a silver coin.”

  That was…extraordinarily expensive, given the cos
t of the ingredients. But Selys kept on raising the price of the burgers without issue. She heard the customer fishing in his belt pouch and then the clink of a coin.

  “Thanks. Now, do you want your burger cooked fully or raw?”

  “Cooked, thanks.”

  “Erin—”

  “I got it.”

  Erin had already added a patty to her pan. She mechanically flipped the burger, listening to this Hawk and Selys talk. She finished the burger, tossed it on the pre-assembled bun, and put it on the serving plate. She held it out and then froze as for the first time she actually looked at her customer.

  A tall…rabbit…man…stood in front of the stall, smiling at Erin. He was a rabbit. But he was shaped like a man. He stood on two legs—slightly curved forwards like a Minotaur’s with huge feet. They looked like paws, and Erin noticed he wasn’t wearing shoes so much as coverings made from leather.

  His fur was light brown, with dark spots. He had one over his eye, which was pointed like a rabbit’s. And he had a pink nose! Erin nearly squealed or screamed or something when she saw that.

  Hawk had two long, floppy ears that stuck out over his head, and he was clothed in loose clothing. He had pants and a shirt which did not disguise the fact that this rabbit was ripped. That threw Erin, as did the muscles on his arms.

  “You’re Erin? Nice to meet you. I’m Hawk.”

  Hawk the rabbit man smiled in a friendly way at Erin, although his eyes were on the burger on the plate. Erin gaped at him.

  Selys coughed.

  “Hawk is a Beastkin, Erin. I’m not surprised you haven’t met him before. He’s always running around the city.”

  Erin heard her, but she was still caught on his name. She repeated the word incredulously.

  “Hawk?”

  The furry rabbit in front of Erin scratched at one cheek with a furry hand. He completely misinterpreted Erin’s reaction to his name.

  “My parents were from Liscor, but they had no idea what kind of names my species used. So they chose Hawk. I would have preferred Hakss, but what can you do?”