Gingerbread and Good Tidings

by Kris T. Bethke

  Two delicious-looking brownies sat neatly wrapped, but not just some regular chocolate concoction. I stared for a long few minutes because I’d never seen anything quite like this. There was also another cookie for Pippa. After yesterday’s yummy delivery, I was really looking forward to trying this one. And definitely leaning more toward thinking it was sweet and not creepy.

  Before I broke into the baked goods, I did the responsible thing and checked the note taped to the inside of the lid.

  Good Tidings, Cody!

  Another new offering from the café that seems right up your alley. Wanting to bring you extra holiday cheer this season has turned into a fun adventure. These gingerbread brownies are a specialty that should hit the right spot. Hope you and Pippa enjoy your holiday treats.

  Again, no signature. And again, even though I was pleased and excited, I was also just a little weirded out by the lack of credit. Why was someone sending me baked goods, my one true weakness, laced with my favorite holiday flavor?

  I opened Pippa’s cookie, told her to be dainty, and handed it over. As if to spite me, she chomped it right there so half of the cookie and a whole lot of crumbles landed on the tiles. I snorted a laugh, but I wasn’t worried about the mess. Pippa would lick up every last crumb.

  I carried my box of goodies to my desk and set them to the side, then picked up my phone and held it in my hand. I knew what would happen if I let the group know. It would start another hours-long argument. Yesterday’s had gone on into the evening, which I’d resolutely ignored until both Maddie and Jason sent me individual messages to make sure I was all right. I’d responded to both, and while Maddie had taken it as an invitation to chat with me about all the things, Jason just sent me a smiley face and a thumbs up.

  Jason’s text thread was the one I opened now. Not only had he been the only one who’d been rational yesterday, but he also hadn’t pushed or been demanding. It could be because we didn’t know each other that well. We didn’t really talk outside of group settings, though we got along well whenever we were together. Would it be strange if I messaged him now? Was he busy? I knew he still went into work. That hadn’t stopped like it had for the rest of us. Since he worked at the hospital, it only made sense, though he was an operations manager and didn’t deal directly with patients.

  I didn’t want to bother or interrupt him, but I assumed he’d just ignore me if he couldn’t talk. So I took a deep breath and quickly tapped out a message.

  Cody: I got another delivery from Pounds and Grounds just now. Gingerbread brownies. Note still not signed.

  There. That sounded okay. I set down my phone, glanced at the box again, then told myself I would do some more work and wait to see if he responded before I decided if I wanted to indulge in the baked goodness.

  Jason must not have been busy at the moment, because the chime sounded a moment later. I would have been embarrassed about how quickly I snatched up the phone if there’d been anyone around to see. As it was, Pippa was the only one who could judge me, and she was judge-y for smaller infractions than this.

  Jason: That’s something different. Sounds good, if you like chocolate.

  Jason: Do you like chocolate?

  Cody: I do. Not tons, but brownies are some of my favorite desserts

  Jason: And we all know how much you love gingerbread.

  Cody: *blushes* I know. It’s a thing.

  Jason: No need to be embarrassed. We like what we like, right?

  Cody: Too true.

  Cody: So you think it’s okay? To eat I mean.

  Jason: I do. Same answer as yesterday. It’s from a reputable place, delivered by their staff. I think you’re good.

  Jason: Are you worried?

  Cody: No, not really. It’s just a little weird, right?

  Jason: What is?

  Cody: That someone is going through all this trouble and not taking credit.

  Jason: Maybe they don’t want to take credit. Maybe it’s just about lifting your spirits?

  Cody: My spirits aren’t down! How can they be? It’s Christmastime!

  Jason: LOL. Well that’s good. Still, it could be just a nice gesture. Has it made you happy?

  I thought about that for a second, and the grin spread across my lips without conscious thought. Yes, it absolutely made me happy. Not only because it was baked goods but because someone was thinking about me.

  Cody: so happy. Still wish I knew who it was though.

  Jason: Do you need to know?

  Cody: *squints* Do YOU know who it is?

  Jason: heh. Not what I was asking.

  I knew that. I didn’t know Jason well enough to know if he was being cagey on purpose. But I liked that he was making me think, that he was discussing this with me without putting his own spin on it. Maddie would have been waxing poetic about how it was a romantic gesture, and it was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard. Rick would have demanded I throw it out, then probably try to insist he file a motion to get the records from the café released so he could then file a restraining order for whomever was stalking me with baked goods.

  Jason, on the other hand, was just being rational and kind, asking me gently to examine my feelings about the whole thing. And when I did think about it, I realized he was right. Or rather, what he was implying was right.

  Cody: No. I suppose not. I don’t need to know.

  I thought about it a moment longer.

  Cody: as long as it’s just baked good deliveries and not something scary!

  Jason’s dots appeared, then disappeared before coming back again. Clearly he was reevaluating what to type. Eventually, the message came through.

  Jason: Valid point. So enjoy the treats you have. How do the brownies look?

  I sent the drooling face emoji and followed it quickly with a message.

  Cody: So so so good. Rich and fudgy and swirled with goodness.

  Jason: God, you’re so cute.

  A burst of adrenaline made my heart pound. He probably didn’t mean those words like I wanted, but my insides warmed at the thought of him thinking I was cute. I’d found him insanely attractive since our first meeting. He had that whole “tall, dark, and handsome” thing going on. The first time I saw him, he’d come straight from work, and he was wearing a dark suit. He’d taken off his tie, undone the top couple of buttons of his white dress shirt, and I’d practically drooled. I knew he was bi, but I hadn’t ever heard of him dating a man—he’d had one girlfriend for a short time—in all the time we’d known each other. He was probably out of my league, but he was sure nice to look at. But he never looked at me with any sort of interest, so I let that attraction simmer down to the background.

  But he thought I was cute.

  Struck with an idea, I lifted my phone, turned on the camera app, and snapped a selfie while I took my first bite of brownie. I couldn’t help moaning as the flavors burst over my tongue, and since it sounded slightly obscene, I was glad I hadn’t opted for video. I savored my bite before examining the photo, decided it looked playful and a little cheeky, and sent it to Jason.

  It took almost five minutes for him to respond.

  Jason: Looks amazing. You look happy.

  I was probably reading far too much into it. All he said was that I looked happy. But his words warmed me in a way I couldn’t explain. That I was, and that he saw it, pleased me and made me feel good.

  Jason: Enjoy your treats Cody. You deserve them.

  Cody: thank you.

  I slowly put down the phone, emotions swirling. I realized it was an end to the conversation, not a dismissal exactly, especially because he was at work, but what he said touched me. Again, I was sure I was finding meaning where he maybe didn’t intend for it to be.

  I deserved it? I did, of course, because everyone deserved good things in their lives. But even more, that he said it meant something to me. One thing I was sure about Jason was that he didn’t say things he didn’t mean. So, yes, I was touched and a little emotional that he’d said somethin
g so kind.

  I let myself dwell in those feelings, letting them warm me, while I finished my brownie. Which, God, it was so very delicious. I wasn’t surprised since I knew Pounds and Grounds Café excelled in the baked goods department. And perhaps the sugar helped with giving me warm feelings.

  When I was finished, I felt happiness down to my soul. And I knew damn well, I’d make a great effort to talk to Jason more often. Not just because of my emotions because of this conversation, but because we’d finally connected on another level and he was just a really good friend.

  Chapter 3

  I’d been low-key anticipating a delivery all day, but as the afternoon wore on, I was beginning to think I wouldn’t be getting one today. But now I had a box in my hand, delivered by the ever-cheerful Taylor, and I practically vibrated with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see what my mysterious benefactor had gifted me with today.

  It was two days before Christmas, and my last day of work before a week’s vacation. Mr. Campbell always closed the office from Christmas Eve until the day after New Year’s to give everyone a paid vacation after a year of hard work. It was an easy excuse to close down, and I appreciated it so I could have “free” time off. The rest of the staff did, too. Two of the financial planners were Jewish, and tried to insist on working since they had extra time already in December for Hanukkah, but Mr. Campbell insisted this was vacation for the whole office that happened to coincide with a Christian celebration. It was one of the many reasons I loved working for that man. He strove for inclusivity for all his employees.

  But my mind hadn’t been on my work as it should be, and that was a problem. I needed to get things done since I wouldn’t be looking at my inbox for over a week and it was important to make sure everything was as clean and as done as possible before that. I’d been unable focus, though. The two previous deliveries had been around lunchtime, but now it was almost three in the afternoon. Every little sound, every car passing on the street, made me pause and listen, wondering if it was someone headed up on my porch, bringing a delivery.

  I’d just admonished myself to finish my work when a car door slammed shut and Pippa lifted her head. I was up and jogging toward the door, telling myself I’d just peek out and see when my dog jumped up and trotted to the door. My heart leapt into my throat, and I couldn’t contain my smile even as I picked up the pace. The knock filled me with joy, and I did a little butt wiggle and took a deep breath before I opened the door.

  Same delivery guy, same box, same big smile, this time accompanied by a little bow as he handed over my prize.

  “Here you go, Mr. Schaefer. Happy Holidays!”

  “Happy Holidays!” I shouted back, laughing a little as happiness bubbled up. I waved, even though he couldn’t see, then practically slammed the door and carried my treat down the short hall and to the corner of the living room where I’d set up my home office space, Pippa lumbering along beside me.

  I had to take another few deep breaths to calm down, then chastised myself. I couldn’t dig in right now, though the smell of ginger, cinnamon, and cloves wafted through the closed box. I had to finish what I was doing before I could enjoy, and I knew if I opened the box I’d never be able to resist. So I made myself finish collating the data needed for the spreadsheet, saved it to the Cloud drive, and made sure there was nothing else that needed my attention. It took longer than it should have because I couldn’t stop stealing glances at the box. But finally, after nearly an hour, I was done. It was just after four, which meant I could stop for the day anyway, and I quickly shut everything down before giving my full attention to the box.

  I couldn’t even wait to take the whole thing into the kitchen. I pushed my keyboard out of the way, then Pippa’s big head as she tried, once again, to sniff at the contents. I fought with the string, managed to break it, and popped open the lid.

  It was the same as before, with a treat for Pippa wrapped in plastic in the corner of the box and a note taped to the inside of the lid. The scent of yeast, ginger, cinnamon, and cloves overwhelmed me, and my mouth watered as I took in the goodies nestled inside. It looked like two cinnamon rolls, but the scent was wrong, and they were covered in a drizzle of icing. I moaned at the smell, somehow warm even though I knew the treats couldn’t be any more. Pippa tried to stick her snout inside, but I gently pushed her back, and decided to give her her treat first so she would be occupied. Then I opened the note.

  Good tidings, Cody!

  A special order for a special man at the holidays. These gingerbread rolls aren’t normally on the menu, but it really sounded like something you would enjoy, so the request was made. It was important to gift you with something extra special today, as it was imperative for you to know just how wonderful and special you are. Enjoy the holiday flavors, know you are worth it, and happy holidays.

  My breath caught, and I choked up. I had to blink away tears that filled my eyes. I knew I was loved by my friends, but it had been so long since someone made a point of telling me I was important and special, that my heart actually pounded for a few seconds. My parents had always made a point to tell me, to fawn over me in an over-the-top way, but they’d been gone for years—my mother to a heart attack far too young, my father a few years later in a robbery gone wrong. I’d created a family of my own since then, and it had taken years of therapy to be okay. But with a few kind words from a stranger, one who had gone to the trouble of getting the café to make something they normally didn’t, I was an emotional mess.

  I took a long few minutes to sit with my feelings, letting myself absorb them, before I was able to move forward. Then I grabbed my phone, opened my chat with Jason, and tapped out a quick message.

  Cody: You busy?

  Jason responded almost immediately and relief flooded through me as soon as I saw the dots appear.

  Jason: No. I’m home. We closed the office early today. What’s up?

  I started to reply, stopped, erased and backtracked, started again. I did that three times, but my hands were shaking, and I didn’t know what to say. Eventually, I just sent three words.

  Cody: can i call

  Instantly, my FaceTime started to chime, and I hit the ACCEPT button with a trembling finger. It took a second to connect, but then Jason’s worried, beautiful face filled the screen.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  I nodded, but I couldn’t speak. I pressed my lips together to keep from bursting into tears. He’d been so worried, he called me, and I could see his concern in his expression. That touched me in ways I couldn’t explain. We weren’t strangers, but we’d never had a phone conversation. Until yesterday, we’d never even had a private text conversation. Only in the group. And while he and I had talked, just the two of us, on numerous occasions, it had always been when we were with other friends.

  “Cody?” His voice was gentle, laced with concern, and he leaned forward a little as if he could get closer through the screen. “What’s wrong?”

  I quickly shook my head, sucked in a deep breath, and slowly let it out. It took another couple of seconds, but I got myself under control enough to speak. “I’m okay. Fine. Good. I promise.”

  He squinted. “You don’t seem fine.”

  I laughed, and it sounded watery, but it broke the emotion and I was able to breathe easier. I dashed away the one tear that had escaped and grinned at him. “No, I’m good. Just emotional. I got another delivery.”

  He frowned. “And it made you cry?”

  “But the good kind of cry. Listen to this.” I read him the note, holding it next to the phone so I could steal glances at him while I read the few lines. His expression softened as I read, and when I was done, I was teary again and his soft, gentle smile hit me right in the heart.

  “Well, that’s all true. You are special, Cody.”

  My first instinct was to play it off with a joke, make some kind of humorous comment, but instead, I took a moment, read the sincerity on his face, and was honest and heartfelt instead.

 
; “That’s very kind. I didn’t know I needed to hear it until I did.”

  Jason cut his eyes away, and he scratched at the short goatee he was sporting. It was hardly more than scruff, but it was even and well kept. He’d been clean-shaven up until about a year ago, but I liked this look on him. It suited his face, and I’d been sure to tell him so. He’d had it ever since.

  “You should hear it all the time,” he said, then cleared his throat and focused on me. “Did you try them yet?”

  “Nope. But, oh my God, look at them!” I flipped the camera and held the phone over the box, making sure to center the rolls in frame. “Don’t they look amazing?”

  “They do. I’m sure they taste even better.”

  I lifted the phone and flipped the camera back to front-facing. I made my eyes wide. “I almost don’t want to eat them, they look so perfect. It would be a shame to ruin them.”

  Jason chuckled. “Baked goods are for eating, honey.”

  My heart jumped at the endearment, but he was probably being silly or something, so I tried to ignore it. But my pulse was racing, and I wanted to flirt with him. He’d always turned my key, but I’d kept that in check as best I could since he didn’t seem to be open to it. Now, maybe that had changed. I decided to test the waters.

  I turned my chair until the lit up tree was on my left and a few of my gingerbread people could be seen on the windowsill. Then I gave my best smile, the one I knew lit up my face and had, in the past, made men give me a second look. Jason’s eyes went wide, and that made me grin even harder.

  “Look, I’m a Christmas card. Perfect, huh?”

  “Absolutely perfect.” He cleared his throat again. “That’s quite a tree you have there.”

  I sighed happily. “Isn’t it amazing?”

  He chuckled, a deep, resonant sound that wormed its way into my soul. “Let me see it.”