First comes Lillie, the little show-stopper. She’s wearing a floor-length blue gown to match Ruby’s engagement ring. It’s designed to look like a princess with a full tulle skirt, and she has Buddy on a long leash as she drops petals down the aisle. When she gets to the front, she steps beside me, holding my hand.
Ruby wanted to be sure she was included, so she’s taking part in the unity ceremony, lighting a candle to show our union as a family.
Dottie comes next, followed by Drew, also dressed in sapphire blue. They line up across from my groomsmen.
The music changes, and everyone stands. The Bridal Chorus begins, and when I see the white of her veil, I have to swallow the ache in my throat.
“Don’t cry, man.” Stephen is at my shoulder, and I exhale a laugh.
Ruby is utterly gorgeous. Her dress is fitted to her body, sleeveless, and floor-length, ending in waves of white satin. The veil hangs over her face and hair, but through the mesh, I see the light glistening off the tears in her eyes.
Fuck Stephen, I have to wipe away the mist. She’s the most beautiful angel sent to bring me back to life.
Pastor Hibbert joins our hands, and Ruby bends down to take Lillie’s small hand. My daughter looks up at her in wonder, and after the pastor’s introduction, the three of us take our small candles and hold them together to illuminate the one larger candle in the center representing our new family.
Satisfaction calms my insides as I watch the yellow flame grow taller. I couldn’t have imagined I would have this chance again, and I’m so fucking grateful.
Lillie goes to sit on her grandmother’s lap, and Ruby and I take hands, reciting the words that will bond us together. I promise to love her, cherish her, protect her for the rest of my days. The words are so easy to say.
She looks up at me, and when she promises to love, honor, and care for me for the rest of her life, I know I’m the luckiest guy in the world.
At last we reach the part where I can remove that veil and kiss her beautiful lips. For a moment, I hold her in my arms, drinking in her beauty, making a permanent memory of this point in time, this time when I am given a second chance at love.
Our lips unite, our eyes close, and we’re swept up in the bliss of union.
* * *
Ruby
Lillie touches her daddy’s face before their dance, and my heart is just bursting. The music starts, and he leads her in a sweet version of “When You Wish Upon a Star.”
My dance with Remi was equally magical. We glided around the space, me lost in his eyes to the strains of Elvis’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” At the end, he kissed me gently, and I’ve been smoldering ever since.
Now, watching him with his daughter… Everyone’s sniffing.
“You’re making all your guests cry.” Drew is at my elbow, and I put my arm around her waist. She’s bouncing her new baby and smiling.
“You’re just a softie,” I tease. “Lillie picked this song all by herself. It’s when the Blue Fairy brings Jiminy Cricket to life.”
“That girl.” My best friend blinks quickly. “She really is adorable. It’s the second most beautiful wedding I’ve ever seen.”
That makes me laugh. “Can you even remember your wedding? I feel like I’ve been in a daze the whole day.”
“You’ll go back and watch the video in a few weeks.”
The song ends, and Remi kneels down to hug Lillie. Everyone claps, and I expect the room to burst into partiers now that the official stuff is out of the way.
I’m surprised when my husband (squee!) motions for the DJ to give him the mic. The opening notes of Kenny Rogers fill the room, and my eyes go wide.
“He is not singing that.” My stomach flips.
My mom hops up and starts dancing, flapping her elbows like a chicken.
Drew is laughing so hard, she’s crying more. “Your mom should not be allowed to dance.”
“No joke!” I shout.
Remi launches into the opening verse of “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town,” and I can only shake my head and focus on how great his voice sounds. The crowd goes wild with his moves and his singing.
When he finally finishes, begging for God’s sake, that Ruby will please just turn around, I can’t stand it anymore. I squeal at the top of my lungs like all the other females in the room.
The mic is returned to the DJ, and his arms are around my waist as the dancers fill in around us.
“That’s a terrible song for a wedding!” I cry over the noise of K-pop.
“Your mother requested it.” Remi grins, as if he can’t tell my mother no.
My mind drifts to a moment before the ceremony, standing with Ma and looking at my version of “Mother and Sleeping Child.”
“You were always a gifted artist.” She says it as if it’s common knowledge, and not a dream I sat on for twelve years.
“You think so?” I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my tone. “What happened to art being a useless degree?”
She only clucks her tongue. “Art is a risky degree. It takes a lot of luck and a lot of patience.”
“You could’ve said that to me. I was old enough to understand that reality.” It’s times like this when I realize some old scars still ache a little—like a bad knee when a rainstorm is coming.
“It was a different time.” She turns to me and smiles, arranging my veil, warmth flowing from her eyes. “You are very beautiful, Ruby-ah. Your father would be very proud of you.” Her rare use of the diminutive makes my eyes heat.
“Thank you.” It’s the most I’m able to say.
She nods decisively. “Remington is a good man. He will make a good husband for you.”
I couldn’t agree more…
Now I’m in the arms of my husband, this beautiful man who gave me the courage to change my life.
Our crowd of friends flood the dance floor, jumping up and down, swaying their hips, pointing fingers disco-style, and pretty much dancing horribly to the music, but Remi and I are in our own separate bubble of love.
“I was just thinking…”
“What’s that, wife?” His low voice calling me wife, thrills my insides.
“The first night we met, you said you wanted me to help you.”
“You did help me.”
“I did?” My brow furrows. “How?”
His eyes capture mine, intense and serious. “Well, for starters, you helped me not be like my dad—”
“But you were never like your dad. Everything you do with Lillie shows you’re not like him. You were only grieving.”
Long fingers smooth my hair back. “You helped me find my way back.”
He pulls me close, and my eyes close as his cheek presses to mine. The music swirls with our friends around us, and I confess, as much as I adore Disney movies, I never believed fairytales really happened in real life.
This past year changed all of that.
I’m no longer an only child or even an insecure career girl, searching for meaning in my life. I’m a wife and mother. I’m using my art to help others at the clinic with Drew, which makes me financially independent—not that I need to be anymore.
I’ve met every goal on my list, with the benefits.
Lifting my chin, I kiss Remi lightly on the cheek, realizing he helped me as well. He’s my living handsome prince, and together, we’ve saved each other.
Breaker by Harloe Rae
Copyright © 2019 by Harloe Rae, LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher listed above, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of t
he author’s imagination or purely coincidental.
Cover Artist: BookCoverKingdom (www.bookcoverkingdom.com)
Photographer: Rafa G Catala
Cover Model: Adrian Pedraja
Formatting: Champagne Book Design
Playlist for Breaker
“Let Me Love the Lonely” by James Arthur
“More Hearts Than Mine” by Ingrid Andreas
“Love Runs Out” by OneRepublic
“Fearless” by Kat Perkins
“The Kill” by Thirty Seconds to Mars
“Till the Sun Comes Up” by Gavin James
“Can I Be Him” by James Arthur
“If We Never Met” by John.K
“Secret Love Song” by Little Mix
“If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years
“Let It Be” by Imaginary Future
“Better” by Parachute
“You & Me” by James TW
“Stand By You” by the Pretenders
My heart is in the stars,
Beyond reach and reason.
He will never be mine,
And I will never love another.
– Sutton Olsen
Prologue
Sutton
Happy something #8: I love when clouds are extra puffy and big in the clear blue sky. It’s fun to find animals in random shapes.
Wet blades of grass tickle my ankles while I sneak across the darkened yard. The squish of my flip-flops is the only sound aside from occasional crickets serenading me. My sandals slide along the dew and I almost stumble to the ground. Slowing my haste would be wise, but I can’t allow reason to settle in. I’m already a short second away from losing my nerve.
The full moon watches my every slinky move. I keep my chin tucked to avoid the admonishment. But any attempt to escape the scorn is in vain. Every slight touch from the manicured lawn is a whispered warning.
This is a mistake.
Turn around.
He doesn’t want you.
But I don’t listen. Not this time. I’ve been ignoring my feelings for years. Tonight feels like my final chance. The only one I’ll get, and the most vital. My heartbeat pounds faster with each hurried step. I wipe the sweat from my palms and pick up the pace. A single hanging light flickers above the front door. The low shine illuminates my target destination. I push forward, rushing to close the remaining distance.
The guesthouse is pitch black when I step inside. I don’t bother turning on a lamp. I’ve memorized the path to his room over the years. His door is already ajar and I nudge it open wider. Moonlight filters in through the window, bathing the small space with a natural glow. I’ve never been more thankful for his lack of curtains.
Grady is sleeping on his back, granting me a clear view of his naked torso. Cut lines of muscle define his abs and chest. One strong arm is tossed over his face, shutting out the worry from sight. It gives me permission to continue my lazy perusal of him. A white sheet is draped low on his hips. I draw in a shaky breath and glance over his covered lower half. My imagination runs wild while feasting on the possibilities of what’s hiding underneath. His soft snores carry over to me as I linger by the wall. The quiet noise beckons me to him.
My stomach twists to the point of pain. I wince at the sting, but shuffle closer. Another slew of caution slams into me. This feels like an invasion, but that still doesn’t stop me. The floorboard creaks and Grady snaps awake. He sits up, scanning the room with wide eyes. His gaze narrows when he lands on me hovering just out of reach. The need to breathe burns my lungs, yet I remain frozen.
“What the fuck, Sutton?” His growl sends chills up my spine.
I knot my fingers together. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
But that’s a lie. He needs to be coherent for this to go the way I hope. Being willing and agreeable are also important. I swallow down the bubbling nerves in a rough gulp.
“Why are you in my room?”
I almost wither under the intensity of Grady’s stare. His green eyes gleam in the near darkness. I imagine their emerald color luring me under an unbreakable spell. The golden specks swirling within will smolder from the effort. I clear the dryness from my throat. “I, uh, wanted to see you.”
“In the middle of the fucking night? There better be a damn good reason.” The threat in his voice rings out, but I ignore it.
I study his stern expression, taking precious moments to peel away the hardened layers. Grady’s eyelids are heavy with the remaining threads of sleep. Thick stubble coats his sharp jaw. Dark blond hair hangs over his forehead in messy clumps. His rumpled state makes him more desirable. That’s a problem I don’t need help with. I long to feel the rasp of his calloused hands over every smooth inch of me. The slight burn would surely set me ablaze.
Doubt creeps in the longer I stall on him. This boy has been through hell. Why am I considering adding more unnecessary drama to his plate? A hollow pang in my heart answers the rhetorical question. I can count on two hands the days we’ve gone without seeing each other. Tomorrow will change all that. I’m not ready for goodbye.
After a decade, the memory of how we met is getting fuzzy. Grady stumbled onto our property late one night. He ran to our house under the midnight sky and hid from the horrors that occurred at his home. If the walls of his trailer could talk, I’m sure they’d scream. Grady is broken and battered, abandoned by those meant to love him the most. But I’ve never let him down. Maybe he’ll learn to rely on me one day.
Either way, he’s an honorary member of our family. We welcomed him with open arms and never let go. Grady and my older brother have been best friends since they were nine. He’s unknowingly been the love of my life that entire time. If only he’d admit to feeling a fraction of the same. Or I had the guts to tell him.
Grady shifts on his bed. The squeak of springs drags my attention out of our past. I need to be focusing on the future. When I lift my gaze, he’s still glaring at me. The desire to flee wobbles my knees. My courage is diminishing with each passing moment. This entire ambush will be a waste if I don’t spit my intentions out. Crossing the line is up to me. I clench my eyes shut and let the words spill free.
“I want you to take my virginity.”
Grady is silent for a few beats. I peel my lids open, watching the stacks of muscle in his shoulders flex with harsh breaths. The knot in my chest pulls tighter. My offering dangles in the few feet separating us. He just needs to reach out and grab me. But his lips pull into a sneer.
“Are you fucking joking?”
I cringe at his foul language. Grady’s tongue has always been sharp. Even more so lately, especially with me. “No,” I whisper. “I’m very serious.”
“Go home, Sutt. We’re not discussing this.”
“Why?”
A tic of strain pops in his jaw. “Because I say so.”
“Doesn’t it matter what I want?”
“Has it ever?”
The answer is no. A loud, resounding boom meant to deter. But I don’t hear it. I’ve been waiting all of my teenage years for this moment. I’m not letting it slip away.
“Just once. No one has to know.”
His eyes flash with a streak of lightning. “How fucking nice. I can be your shameful secret. No fucking thanks. Find someone else to slum it with.”
I almost smack my forehead. How could I be so dense? “That’s not what I meant, Gray.” This is not going according to plan. I lick my lips and search for a different route. “I want you, and always have. I’ve saved myself for you. My first time is meant to be with you.”
Grady flops onto his bed with a groan. “People accuse me of doing a lot of bad shit, but I’ve never been a thief. I’m not stealing your fucking cherry, Sutton.”
I’m shaking my head before he’s done talking. Heat crawls up my chest and neck, but I’m already buried too far. “But I want to do this with you. It has to be you.”
He scrubs a palm over his face. “Don’t do this desperate act. Give yourself to a
man who’s deserving.”
“I’m looking at him.” This wall between us needs to crumble. I step out of my soggy flip-flops and instantly feel more at home. If I reach forward, my hand will skim his blankets. It’s been years since I’ve felt the comfort—albeit platonic—of his arms. I curl my toes into the carpet at being this close again.
Grady glares at the ceiling. “Seriously. I shouldn’t have to repeat myself, but I will. Go home, Sutt.”
“Please, Gray.” The two words trickle off my trembling lips.
His scoff echoes around the dark room. “Begging is far beneath you, Sutt. Keep that silver spoon in your mouth.”
That has me clacking my teeth together. “Don’t be an asshole.”
“Then don’t force my hand. Go back to your side of the fence. You don’t belong in these bunks.”
Something dark flips inside of me. “This is my property. I have every right to be here.”
He grunts into a clenched fist. “Don’t need another reminder of who reigns.”
The strength that brought me here is beginning to crack under his pressure. But a lingering spark ignites when I catch him staring at me. Grady rarely looks my way for longer than a casual glance. But the privacy of his bedroom is proving to make a difference. He doesn’t conceal the way his eyes skitter across my exposed skin. There’s unmasked hunger waiting for me there. That gives me a much needed confidence boost.
It’s not an accident that I’m wearing a daringly low-cut shirt. The hem of my skirt is a few inches too short. Am I acting desperate like he claims? No doubt. Do I care about being the one pursuing this? Not in the slightest. Am I worried about being rejected? More than I care to admit. But that fear doesn’t hinder me.
“Did you know that I’m leaving tomorrow?” I catch a brief glimmer of shock register across Grady’s features. A twitch snags his eyebrow. His throat bobs with a heavy swallow. He rolls his gaze off mine, avoiding the truth. If I hadn’t been standing so close, watching his every move, the reaction would be missed.
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