“And your point?” It appears he’s choosing to address the wall.
“I’ll be gone. We won’t see each other anymore.” I hold my breath while waiting for more honesty to show.
Grady’s lips tighten. “So, you came for a farewell fuck?”
I wrinkle my nose. “Must you be so crass?”
“Don’t act like this is a new development.” His tone is flat and stiff.
I rub my temples. I’m beginning to see the massive error in my ways. But my heart is stubborn. “I always wanted things to be different between us.”
“Sorry to disappoint.” His tone reveals he’s anything but.
I’m already waist deep. Why not wade a bit further? “It’s not too late, Gray. I’m here now. This is what I’ve been waiting for.”
“Wait longer. You’re still a fucking kid, Sutt.”
“I’m eighteen. Only two years younger than you.”
He waves off my words. “Age is just a number. You’re sheltered as fuck. Get out and experience the world before shackling yourself to the gutter. Get outta here before Jace finds you missing.”
Rather than retreat, I erase the remaining distance to his bed. “I don’t care about my brother.”
Grady’s snort resembles a bull. “I sure as shit do.”
Of course he does. They might as well be related by blood, not just sentiment. Defeat appears in two large boulders weighing my shoulders down. He won’t budge, no matter how hard I push. A seed of nostalgia plants itself in my mind. I find myself changing tactics as a last-ditch effort. “Tell me a happy something, Gray.”
His chuckle is empty. “Nah, we’re too old for that shit. But nice try. Don’t have any spare joy to share.”
I blink at the unshed tears slowly building momentum. I want to scream at him. Demand that he forgets the pain and anger for one second to see what’s standing right in front of him. But I force the fire down. “Want me to tell you one?”
“Won’t change my mind.”
I glance away to hide my wobbling lip and wet lashes. “Will you at least hold me for a bit? Like you used to during storms?”
“Sutt—”
“Please, Grady. I never ask for anything from you.” I scoot forward until my legs bump the mattress.
With a resigned sigh, he opens his arms. “All right, fine. Five minutes, then you’re going home. C’mere.”
I nod and quickly cuddle into his side. He smells of a hardworking man, that familiar mix of motor oil and fresh hay. I snuggle deeper while inhaling the scent of my dreams. “Remember the first happy something I gave you?”
Grady nods, his chin ghosting across my forehead. He doesn’t protest while I tug us along some pleasant highlights. I fill the chilly silence with sunny chatter. Grady doesn’t add to the conversation, keeping it one-sided. It’s probably for the best. Nothing he shares lately is good.
My five minutes loop several times before I run out of steam. We’re stuck at a fork in the road. Sad as it might be, I find myself turning in the direction that leads away from him. “I’ll miss you, Gray.”
A rumble rises off his chest. “Yeah? Try forgetting me while you’re at it. You’ll be better off.”
I don’t bother responding. With that final blow, a gate slams shut between us. The clang ripples through me, solidifying what I’ve been trying to deny. This is the end of us. But this has always been the story of a girl desperately in love with a boy. Irrevocably and unrequited.
I’m ready to leave these well-worn pages behind.
1
Sutton
Happy something #54: Setting a goal, only to reach and surpass it.
I drop my cap into the box and fold up the matching gown. The maroon polyester slides across my fingers with a quiet whoosh. Another chapter of my life is coming to a close, welcoming new opportunities and adventures. That’s what I keep telling myself about graduating college. If I’m being completely honest, the last four years raced by in a blur.
The gleam of spotless glass catches my eye. I pick up the framed diploma and smooth a finger over my name written in scrolling script. This piece of embossed paper represents so much. All of the credits and courses that give me a sturdy foundation. Valuable lessons that can never be replicated. Late nights of studying and missed hours of sleep. Perhaps most importantly, honed and sharpened skills that will advance me in a competitive field. My career is built on this degree. I’ll be taken more seriously because of the time and effort spent earning it. The memory of a certain green-eyed boy glares at me. He didn’t believe advanced education was necessary to be successful. That opinion isn’t wrong, it just isn’t mine.
The final feathers of my youth are strewn about campus. Not that twenty-two is old. But most of my reckless and rash decision making is behind me. That’s what I’m claiming, at least. A streak of untamed impulsiveness remains. I’ll never be able to shed my ability to make poor choices. Not entirely. Even now, as I prepare to become a professional and take on a more serious role in society, that stubborn strand lays dormant just beneath the surface. I feel that tightly wound coil waiting for an opportune moment to break free. Returning to my roots probably has a lot to do with that.
Without further dwelling, I set the frame in a box with the rest of my valuable mementos. I roll my shoulders in an attempt to alleviate the pressure building there. For every friction of excitement that zips along my skin, a daunting shiver follows. There’s so much change coming and I can’t seem to collect my scattered feelings. Returning home to begin my adult life isn’t all roses and sunny warmth. There’s one very large storm cloud waiting to crash down on me. Or maybe he’ll continue avoiding my path. I’ve been made well aware that’s one of his newfound specialties. And contradicting myself is one of mine.
It’s discouraging, and more than a little upsetting.
“Whatcha doing, Sutt?”
The question efficiently stops me from traveling further down that dark road. I give my friend a small smile. “Packing what’s left of my stuff.”
“Ah, exhilarating. I just stacked up the last of mine.” Harlyn peeks into the nearest box and looks back at me. Whatever she finds makes her squint, studying me with greater scrutiny than necessary. I try not to squirm as she digs deeper under my layers. She tilts her head at me. “You’re not getting sentimental, right? We both know that’s my job.”
I wrinkle my nose, trying to hide the slight sting from the earlier reverie. The pungent aroma of cleaning supplies filters into my lungs. “I’m fine. It’s just a big move.”
Her lower lip sticks out. “And we won’t be roomies anymore.”
A familiar tug pulls taut in my belly. “Don’t remind me. I’ll be stuck with my parents for at least a month.”
She swings an arm around my shoulders. “No luck finding a place to rent?”
“Nothing with immediate availability. The earliest opening was July, but most are August or later.”
“Downtown or in the outskirts?”
I laugh at that. “Not sure there’s a huge difference when it comes to Silo Springs. I found a few within a mile or two of Main Street. But you’re well aware of how spread out everyone is. There aren’t a lot of residential spaces in the heart of town.”
“Saves room for all those adorable shops. And maybe your future office.” She wiggles her brows.
That earns her a dry scoff. “An apartment will suffice for both purposes. I’ll happily work out of my living room.”
Harlyn shimmies away so she can face me. “Are you so excited to get Sunny Monday Solutions rolling?”
I bite my lip and smile. “I really am. It still seems a bit crazy to me. I never anticipated this outpouring type of response when I decided on my career.”
A zing darts up my spine when I think about the clients already lined up. Being a media marketing manager might not be glamorous to some, but it’s a dream for me. I’ll get to help others achieve and increase sales while continuing to grow my own portfolio. This is my versio
n of creative talent. Searching for authentic content to post that will highlight their products is only the beginning. Making sure their online presence is consistent and reliable is key for my success. Building their brand into something we’ll all be proud of is the ultimate goal. I allow a ghost of a smile to tilt my lips while reciting the mental list.
“I honestly can’t wait to dive in,” I add.
“Those romance authors are lucky to have you. Maybe you’ll get signed copies of their books as a bonus.” Her eyes sparkle under the dining room lamp.
“A few boxes are already on the way. I need them for pictures. K.K. Allen is a whiz on Instagram and is showing me the ropes. She tossed in a personalized Center of Gravity paperback. That’s my favorite. I’m already getting spoiled.” I wink at her.
“You better share.”
“Pretty sure your life is already packed with hearts and flowers. Foster is your real Prince Charming. That man stepped straight out of a fairy tale.”
Her sigh is whimsical. “He really did. I can’t believe we’ve only been dating a few months. It feels like so much longer.”
I catch the pure joy radiating off her, wanting to soak it in. “Soulmates.”
She leans against the table and folds her arms. “Can’t fault fate. We’re crazy meant to be.”
“You’re welcome, Miss I-Didn’t-Want-To-Take-A-Spring-Break-Trip. I’m always happy to prove you wrong.” I giggle when she sticks her tongue out at me. After shooting her an air-kiss, I swipe through the air. “Okay, enough mush. Are you all set to live in the big city?”
Harlyn makes a see-saw motion with her hand. “I guess? It’s a bit intimidating for this country girl. But I’ll adapt to the surroundings. I’m really excited about the school. Making a difference for those kids is what matters most.”
“And you will. You’ll be the best teacher that district has.”
She’s quiet for a moment, her laser-focus zoomed in on me. “Are you trying to butter me up?”
I toss out an exaggerated gasp. “What? No. Why would I be?”
“Because today is kinda sad.” She shrugs. “And you’re avoiding heavier topics.”
“Not sure what you mean.” But I totally do. I’m sure my expression is guarded. There is stuff I keep hidden, even from my best friend.
Harlyn huffs and blows some bangs off her forehead. “Is Jace happy you’re coming home?”
Surprise widens my eyes. I wasn’t expecting that. “Oh, I’m sure he’s positively thrilled to get me back within spying distance. My brother is a pain in the ass. Even two hundred miles couldn’t save me from his interference.”
To call him protective is a massive understatement. Nothing would make that man happier than me remaining single for the rest of my life.
My friend quirks a brow. “Are we talking about your lack of dating?”
“And everything else where the opposite sex is involved.” I keep my features flat.
She laughs. “Jace might be cause for a few failed flings, but there’s another man who deserves more blame.”
I press a finger to her lips. “Don’t you dare.”
“Mur yeuo fnew tits rurth.”
“What was that?” I remove the flimsy gag.
“That Bowen boy still has you wrapped—”
This time I clap my entire palm over her mouth. Prickles erupt along the nape of my neck. Thinking about him always gets my body buzzing. “No. Absolutely not.”
Harlyn rolls her eyes but stays silent. I pull my hand away. She smiles so wide that it reaches her eyes.
“We’ll see how long you last being back in Silo Springs. Does that one guy I’m apparently not allowed to name still live with your parents?”
I force out a harsh exhale. “Real clever, Hae. But no, thankfully. He moved into his own house.”
“So, the threat of running into him is low?”
I bite my lip. Warmth spreads through my belly at the idea alone. “Can’t promise that. He still works for my dad sometimes.”
She walks to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. “You know an awful lot about this phantom.”
“Jace is his best friend. Even if I wanted out of the loop, I’d get reeled back in.” I join her in the kitchen and pour a glass of iced tea.
Harlyn studies me while taking a sip. “Is that going to be okay with you?”
“It won’t make a difference if I see him or not. I understand where we rest and our final score. Plus, he’s become really good at keeping his distance from me whenever I visit. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”
Not that it really matters. I have plans of my own. And they sure as shit don’t involve Grady Bowen. I wince while the harsh lie rattles around in my mind.
Try as I might, my future will always have a designated space for that jerk.
I peek over at my roommate. The grin on Harlyn’s face says it all. She’s not believing the lines I’m spewing. Heck, I can’t blame her. She bumps her hip into mine. “Well, I’ll only be a quick text away if you need assistance.”
“And several towns over,” I mutter.
She waves me off. “A minor technicality. I’ll always be around for moral support.”
“That’s one of the reasons I love you.” I smile at her.
Harlyn holds up a finger. “Don’t forget my cooking and cleaning skills.”
“Foster is reaping so many benefits. He must be wild in the sack to keep you hooked.”
A blush paints her cheeks. “As if you don’t already know. And I’m not moving in with him.”
“Yet,” I tack on for her.
She chews on her thumb nail. “It’s only been a few months.”
“Of paradise.”
“Never thought you’d be the one pushing for this.” She shoots me a narrow side-eye.
“When it’s right, why wait?”
Harlyn laughs. “You’ve been reading too many romance novels.”
“Have to get my kicks somewhere.”
Her lower lip pops out. “Aww. I want you to meet someone special.”
My chest tightens with her words. There’s only one guy I’ve ever imagined spending my life with. I grew up with stars in my eyes aimed at him. Loving Grady was instinct. The dislike part has been more of a slow burn. My lovesick heart is finally beginning to admit that he never saw me as more than a little kid chasing him around.
And here I am, about to take up permanent residence in hostile territory. Fingers effing crossed.
I mosey back to the table and fold the flaps of my final box. After adding it to the stack near the door, I dust off my hands. My dad and brother will be here tomorrow to do the heavy lifting. I turn around, surveying our shared space with a wobbly smile. The majority of our stuff is packed, but the couch and television remain.
“What should we do with our final night?” I ask Harlyn while still staring at the mostly bare living room. The wood floor shines from the unfiltered sunlight pouring through the windows. Not sure the place has sparkled so bright since we moved in two years ago.
Harlyn stands next to me, joining in the reflection of our apartment. “How about an epic Netflix binge? Then we can have dinner at The Tavern.”
My stomach rumbles at the suggestion. “I’ll miss their chicken stew and roasted potatoes. Oh, and the fresh baked bread.”
She licks her lips and nods. “It’s only a few hours to drive.”
“I know.” My acknowledgement comes out as a whisper. I glance away as my eyes get hot.
“It’s going to be amazing, Sutt. You’ll be so happy.” She dips her face to peek up at me.
I can’t hide my sniffle. “I’m just being overly emotional again. Don’t mind me.”
Harlyn grips my fidgeting fingers. “In a month, when you’re planting roots into a new apartment, this will seem like old news.”
“I suppose.”
“You’ll be surrounded by love and family. I’ll make sure Jace keeps an extra close eye on you.” Her grin is pure trouble. “Wo
uldn’t want a shred of weakness to ruin all these goals.”
That turns my mood in the opposite direction. “Urgh, please don’t. He does more than enough without being encouraged. I’m hoping some woman has caught his attention so he’ll leave me alone.”
“It’s more likely to catch a flying pig. He’s not settling down anytime soon.”
She’s right, of course. My brother has the tendency to jump ship before the girl can suggest a second date. His commitment issues rival—
I shake my head. Dammit. All this Grady talk has him cropping up in every direction. I need to shove him to the recesses of my mind where he belongs. That’s how I’ve kept my heart intact these last four years. The method will be my source for survival while battling our lack of physical proximity.
So much easier to say than do.
2
Grady
Happy something #67: Not having to look over my shoulder each second of every damn day.
I drop my ass onto a stool and the shredded leather cushion groans in protest. The worn wooden legs can hardly hold my weight. Heaven forbid this dump springs for new chairs, or pay to update anything for that matter. A quick glance around Howlers is a flashback to an era before I was born.
A jukebox—the kind with vinyl records—rests near the entrance. Faded posters for movies that came out on VHS hang at crooked angles along the walls. There’s a cigarette machine between the bathrooms. Each time I walk inside is a taste of living in the past, which is weird as hell.
Smoking hasn’t been allowed inside this spot for decades, yet the stench still clings like the bad habit itself. The lights are low, hiding the poor decisions being made. But no one casts judgment. That’s what I appreciate about this outdated dive. Everyone who steps foot into this place is on the same level. I’ll fucking cheers to that all damn day.
Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection Page 88