Love & War
Page 5
I should say something. This silence demanded to be filled, but my mind was too fuzzy to form the right words to dissipate the tension between us. He loved me. He’d told me as much back in that cell. But Zeus’s return and subsequent death had taken a toll on every member of the Pantheon in different ways. I still woke up screaming and I’d only dealt with the monster for a year. Ares had been around during Zeus’s peak in power and hundreds of years beyond. We both had baggage, and mine resonated with his in a way that brought everything he’d been through boiling to the surface. Tantalus taking control of him like a puppet and forcing him to run me through with a spear probably hadn’t helped matters.
“I get it,” I said at last. There was more I should say—that I’d wait, that we could work through it together, that I loved him too—something. But my words were binding, and I wasn’t in a state to make promises right now. Later, I’d try again, when I wasn’t heavily medicated. “I wish . . .” I paused, trying to work around the clumsy words. “I wish I could help.” But I was barely holding my own head above water.
“This is on me,” he said with a smile. “But you not dying today? That’s a step in the right direction.”
Chapter VI
Medea
WHEN JASON SAW me walk into the dining hall, he gave a slight nod of acknowledgement without missing a beat in the speech he was giving to the assembled demigods. “If the gods found our island, we’d know by now. Glauce hasn’t felt any disturbance to the shield, have you, Glauce?”
I slid into the seat to his right. The dining hall desperately needed a stage or a podium for the rare times Jason gave speeches. But getting stuff to the island was complicated enough without sacrificing precious shipment space for building materials or weighty furniture. So we made do by scooting the tables together and shushing one another when anyone got too loud.
“Not a thing,” Glauce assured him. “The shield stands.”
“So we’re safe, for now.” Jason flashed a reassuring smile at the crowd. “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be ready. Medea, what did you find out?”
I clasped my hands, laying them on the wooden table to keep myself from fidgeting, and brought everyone up to speed on what Adonis told me. “Thanks to Tantalus, they know everything. They know we have weapons—”
“That’s on us,” Jason interjected hastily. “We all agreed to make a play for Poseidon.”
I focused on keeping my words clear and understandable. “They know about the compound.”
“Again,” Jason’s voice echoed through the large, windowed room, “we all agreed to that risk.”
“And they think we’ve taken one of their people.”
That caused some murmurings amongst the demigods seated at the tables. Their worried voices rose to the vaulted ceilings and pushed against the glass walls.
“They’re looking for us.” I flicked a strand of dark hair out of my face. “We need to be ready when they find us.”
Jason cut me a look that told me in no uncertain terms to shut up, and stop scaring the rabble. Oops. Crowd dynamics were new to me. I was still feeling out the basics of public speaking. While I knew speaking to an assembled group was different from having a conversation with one person, I’d been so focused on keeping my tone firm and my words clear while projecting a sense of authority I didn’t feel, I’d forgotten to consider the impact of my actual words.
“Fortunately, we have a plan,” Jason said, and I felt a wave of charm wash over the crowd. A healthy chunk were immune, but enough of them weren’t that the atmosphere in the room calmed noticeably, and that settled the others. If they minded being charmed, I hadn’t noticed. “We make ourselves even harder to find. Shipments and outbound excursions are going to have to be cut way down. One a month, timed to blend in with traffic from the other islands.”
I nodded, even as the others grumbled. Limiting supply runs was a reasonable precaution.
“It also means we need to be ready to evacuate in an instant. Medea—” He glanced at me, the harsh overhead lights glittering off his military-style shaved haircut. “I want you working on—”
“Why evacuate?” Neleus demanded from three tables down the line. “We have weapons. We know they work. Why not fight back?”
“We’re not ready for that.”
“Then why did we engage them in the first place?” Otrera demanded.
“Because we all agreed the potential benefit outweighed the risk. Had we been able to take out Poseidon . . .” Jason shook his head. “Unfortunately, it didn’t pan out. Now we deal with the consequences. Medea, you’re on evacuation. Daily drills until we get it right, yeah?”
Daily drills? Teleportation felt like it ripped me to pieces. I fastened my gaze on the wooden swirls on the table until I felt sure my face was composed, then I glanced up and nodded.
“Great.” He grinned. “But we keep it off the radar of our newest guests, at least until we’re sure Elise is going to pull through. Can’t risk our exit strategy ending up in the Underworld.”
Damn, that’s cold. But Jason was right. If Elise died, the gods would likely question her in the afterlife.
“Otrera, you’re on newbie duty.” Jason pushed his seat back and stood. “Should the alarm sound, you get them to the evacuation point and walk them through what to do. Glauce, we need your complete focus to be on the shield.”
“Will do,” she said with a smile.
By the time the meeting ended, everyone had a purpose. Jason was so good at making everyone feel valued, no matter what their job was.
“That went well,” I told him as we stacked the chairs on top of the tables so the night shift could mop.
“You think? Good. I was worried . . .” He trailed off and glanced at his phone, one of the few allowed on the island, swearing. “I missed a text. Elise is awake.” He glanced around the dining hall. “Which means I might be able to persuade Adonis to leave long enough to take on a tour of the island. Feel him out.”
“Yeah . . .” I picked up another chair. “He’s not happy with us right now.”
“Hopefully he’s in a better mood, now that she’s up and talking.”
“Did you want me to come along?” I asked, thinking of the language barrier.
“Actually, can you finish up here? I don’t want to lose anymore daylight.”
“Sure.” I could stack chairs with the best of them.
He flashed me a grateful smile. “Thank you.” Jason set his chair to the side and bridged the space between us long enough to pull me into his arms and kiss me breathless. “See you tonight.”
Hours later, I was starting to think his promise of “tonight” had been optimistic. It was well into the a.m. hours and he still hadn’t come home. But that was Jason. He had to be a part of every task, every preparation. Jason was great at delegating, not so great at staying out of it once the task was assigned. If there was room for another pair of helping hands, he got involved. So I waited, feeling more and more stupid for wearing my sexy nightgown.
I shouldn’t have left the hospital so fast today, I wrote in my journal. My shadow blotted out the words on the page and I sighed, shifting positions on my bed so that I wasn’t blocking the lamp.
But I just couldn’t stay in that room another minute. The smell, the constant beeping, the accusation in his eyes when he looked at me. He’s so angry. And I can’t blame him. But I couldn’t handle being in that space any longer, even though I know he’s not going to strap me to a gurney and shove a needle into my veins to heal his girlfriend. I know that. I really do. I just . . .
Pausing, I chewed on the end of my pen. I got scared. There, I said it. And I felt guilty. Because I could fix her with nothing more than a blood draw. But I couldn’t make myself volunteer. The thought of those nurses sticking a needle in my veins. . . . I just couldn’t do it.
Where was Jason? My stomach twisted at the thought of talking to him about those pregnancy tests. I kept going back and forth about telling him. I’d even searched online for cute ways to break the news, but nothing felt right. Because if I did tell him, it wasn’t going to be a “yay, we’re expecting” talk. I knew what I wanted and I knew what he wanted. And they didn’t line up.
If he found out I ended it without even talking to him, he’d be furious. But if I didn’t tell him, maybe he’d never find out.
Ugh! How did this happen, I wrote. We’re careful. So careful. I take the pill, we use condoms, and I watch the calendar. This shouldn’t be possible. My mind flitted to my earlier suspicions and I shrugged them off. I’m not thinking about this right now. No, I’m looking back to remind myself it’s not the same. That I’m not being used for parts.
Flipping back a few pages to see where I’d left off, I scoffed, reading over my previous entry. You know what? No. I’m not going to go over every operation. I’m not going to talk about the day they figured out my organs grow back. How happy it made her because it opened up the doors to so many more options. So much more profit. I’m not going to talk about the recoveries. The pain. My pathetic attempts to run away. The way the drugs made it seem like no time at all had passed for weeks on end. Realizing school started, but I was never going back. Hearing about the palms Mom greased to keep her miracle cure under the radar. I’m not going to talk about that, because it all blended together into a horrible haze that words can’t capture. But there are a few memories that stand out. Like when I figured out I could teleport.
If I’d known what I was doing, I would have teleported somewhere far away, but I didn’t know it was even possible until they were prepping me for surgery one day when Mom wasn’t there. She was always there in the early days, back when she pretended to care. And stupid as it was, I lived for that hand squeeze as the nurse counted down from ten. The knowledge that when I woke, she’d be sitting beside me.
But she wasn’t there that time. The nurse was telling me to count down from ten and I tried to tell them that it was wrong. That it wasn’t time yet because she wasn’t there. Mom was always there, but for some reason they wouldn’t look at me. Then the drugs kicked in, and I felt myself getting sleepy. All I wanted to do was hold her hand so I closed my eyes and wished, and suddenly she was standing right beside me. I just barely managed to grab her hand before I passed out, and I still remember the look of utter shock on her face.
So that’s how they figured out I could teleport. They knew what it meant before I did and what precautions to take. There’s this metal that can kill gods if you have enough power to invoke it, and in my blood, there was. So, they started experimenting with it. Trying to find some way to disable a god without actively killing me. Then they found a way to suppress my powers.
The compound didn’t impact healing, so long as you didn’t give too much of it. But timing could be tricky because of the way the drug dissolved, so they had to start doing procedures in clusters, getting it all done at once. They’d give me the compound whenever there was a big enough gap between surgeries, marrow, and blood draws. Then, when it got close enough to time for another group of procedures, they’d just keep me under until it burned out of my system. They’d do their thing, then keep me drugged until I was most of the way healed.
My gaze fell on the clock perched on the wicker nightstand. I still don’t understand why she bothered to wake me up. It seems like it would have been simpler to just turn me into a vegetable. Maybe she tried. Maybe my healing abilities thwarted that. Maybe they figured out exactly how long it was possible to keep me under and that’s how they set their timing. But I’d like to think she wanted me awake sometimes. So she could spend time with me. Does that make me pathetic?
The words swam on the page. Blinking hard to force the tears back, I closed my journal and slid my pen into the elastic band. I missed her. Even knowing what she did to me. Even knowing why. How screwed up was that?
I glanced back at the clock on my nightstand and let out a long, steadying breath. He wasn’t coming home tonight, so there was no sense waiting up. Tomorrow, I’d go back to the hospital, confirm the pregnancy, go over my options, and check on Elise. What fun.
Chapter VII
Aphrodite
WHEN ARES DROPPED me into a dreamscape that night, Athena, Poseidon, Hephaestus, Persephone, and Artemis were already seated at a familiar white, wicker table on a stretch of hyper-realistic beach.
“This brings back memories,” I said under my breath.
Ares nodded. We’d all met here when Poseidon had informed us that demigods were going missing in his realm, and I’d volunteered to investigate. He squeezed my hand before he strode over to the table with a confidence I knew he didn’t feel. He dropped into a chair between Artemis and Hephaestus. “Really good to see you,” he said to Artemis.
Artemis scowled. “I could barely even get myself here. That poison is no joke. How are you holding up?”
“Been better,” Ares said with a shrug.
I pulled out the wicker seat between Persephone and Athena and sat down, flashing Artemis a relieved smile. She’d been tossed around in that cell defending me from a very charmed Ares. I’d never be able to get the sight of her, crumpled against the wall, face pale, breathing shallow, out of my head.
“Let’s get started,” Poseidon said from the other end of the table. The sea god was tall with a muscular build. His bleach-blond hair had been styled in spikes and his ocean-colored eyes churned in time to the turbulence of the sea. “Numbers?”
Ares drew in a deep breath. “From what I could gather, there are about seventy-five demigods on the island at any given time, and an unspecified number out on recruiting, supply, or information-gathering missions.”
“What kind of information-gathering missions?” Athena leaned forward and the table shifted under her weight.
Ares shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”
Poseidon scowled in irritation. “Find out.”
“He’s been here a day,” I snapped. “Most of which he spent in the hospital. There’s only so much he can ask without drawing the wrong kind of attention.”
“Exactly,” Ares agreed. “But I did discover they have an extended network. Demigods who aren’t a part of DAMNED, but are aware of it enough to trade supplies, services, and information.”
“That makes sense.” Considering what I already knew about the demigod network from Persephone’s head priest, Orpheus.
Ares nodded. “I let them convince me to leave Aphrodite’s side long enough to get a tour. It’s . . .” He waved his hands in the air gesturing vaguely as he launched into a description of the island.
“Wait,” I interrupted, reaching across the table to put a hand on his, stilling his explanation. “I’m lost. Think you can sketch it out?” When Ares nodded, I gave Poseidon an expectant look.
The sea god rolled his eyes at the inconvenience, but waved his hand and a stack of blank paper, weighed down by a pen, appeared before Ares.
“Okay.” Ares grabbed the pen and sketched a mutated teardrop, pen bumping along over the wicker. “So the cabins the demigods live in follow this curve along the back of the island.” He sketched over the arc for emphasis. “This side has a high coastline. It drops off into the water via some pretty sheer cliffs. And no, I don’t know how far the shield extends past the cliffs.”
I leaned forward, studying the sketch with interest. The corners of the paper flapped, threatening to tear the sketch away from Are
s’s careful hands. “Wind,” I reminded Poseidon.
The sea god muttered something unkind under his breath, but the air went still.
“Here’s the hospital.” Ares stuck his pen in the center of the arc the cabins formed. “The terrain is all downhill until you get here, where there’s a beach and a designated swimming area.” Ares traced a line until he reached the bottom of the teardrop. “There are some equipment sheds along the way over here,” he added, drawing several X’s on the side of the island that looked like it had a ragged bite taken out of it. “Then on this side, there’s a dock, some recreational buildings, and a dining hall.” The additions were marked with X’s on the smooth side of the island. “There has to be something between here and here,” Ares mused, drawing lines between the dining hall and the hospital. “But all I’ve seen so far are trees and a progressively steeper coastline.”
Studying the paper, I raised my hand to wipe at my forehead. Without the wind, the sun beat down on us, heating the dreamscape past comfort. Before my hand could touch my skin, the table fell into shadow as Poseidon shifted the clouds to cover the sun just enough to provide some nice, cool shade.
“Jason seems to run things,” Ares continued. “But we already knew that he, Tantalus, and Narcissus were the main players behind this. I’ve met one other girl thus far. Jason apparently trusts her enough to have her do the questioning, but I think he uses her because she seems pretty unthreatening.”
I thought of the girl who’d been questioning him, and had to agree. She’d seemed pretty flustered.
“Another demigoddess?” Hephaestus asked, shifting his chair in the sand.
“I . . . don’t know,” Ares said after a long moment. “She doesn’t look like one. But there’s something about her . . .”