And Now, Time Travel

by Christopher Brimmage

  Agent 27142 shook his head at their ridiculousness, and then he toggled a button on the control panel. The view screen shifted into a grid, each panel of which showed the viewpoint of one of the cameras covering the hull of the ship.

  Agent 27142 focused on the bottom left panel, since its camera’s point of view lay just outside the cargo hold. Agent 27142 called into his intercom, “Now!” He pressed a button on the ship’s controls, and the ramp to the cargo hold snapped down. Agent 27142’s resurrected soldiers poured out of this opening in the ship, all in purple space suits matching the one that Agent 27142 now wore. Agent 27142 felt the change in pressure as the cabin opened. He was held in place by his safety harness, but he felt a violent sucking that tried to pull him back toward the open cargo hold.

  Once all the soldiers had exited the ship, Agent 27142 pressed the button to shut the cargo hold, and pressure soon returned to normal. Agent 27142 watched his resurrected soldiers from the view screen. Each of the B.I.T. agents held a rifle in one arm and a glowing knife made of solid light in the other, weapons commandeered from this ship’s weapon rack. Their jetpacks fired to life, and they launched toward the rope that tied Agent 27142’s hijacked B.T.T. ship to the BeavBoks’ line of colossal tree-trunk-ships.

  As the agents went to work slicing the rope to free Agent 27142’s ship from the BeavBok horde, Agent 27142 noticed incoming danger and sighed. The barrel of a turret emerged from between the threads of the nearest section of rope cocooning the enemy ship. The resurrected agents succeeded in slicing Agent 27142’s ship free of the rope just as the turret opened fire on them. Bright light crashed into Agent 4040404, and the agent melted into a ball of gelatinous goop.

  Agent 27142 toggled his view screen so that the camera points of view disappeared, and he could once again see out of it normally. He gunned the engine, blasting forward and away from the danger of the turret. He jerked his ship in a wide arc that brought him back around to face the cocooned B.T.T. dirigible. He slowed for a moment to watch the scene unfold below him.

  The resurrected B.I.T. agents blasted their jetpacks and launched in every direction away from the turret, taking evasive action. However, as they were doing so, what seemed like thousands of separate turrets emerged from between the strands of the ropes that were wrapped around the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker. Lasers filled the black space above Earth 8,669. Dozens of sequoia-ships were already aflame or actively devolving into mammoth-sized piles of goop. Meanwhile, millions upon millions upon millions of BeavBoks were pouring from the cargo holds of the sequoias, each wearing a silver space suit with a bubbled helmet and their own versions of jetpacks, which were made from wood.

  They blasted into action and swarmed the hull of the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker. The creatures wreaked havoc not with the type of technologically advanced weapons that their enemy used, but rather through a much more rudimentary system: the youngest and fastest of the BeavBoks would dodge as best they could between bolts launched from enemy weapons, and if they made it to the hull, they would activate a mine and slap it in place. Then they would fly out of the way, retrieve more mines from the closest sequoia-ship, and repeat. Meanwhile, thousands upon thousands of elder BeavBoks zoomed around the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker and constantly rained arrows at the mines, which detonated when contact was made with the arrows.

  “No wonder the B.T.T. murdered all these idiots,” Agent 27142 muttered.

  Devolved, melted BeavBoks began to quickly fill the heavens while explosions rocked the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker. Agent 27142 changed the settings on the ship’s weaponry so that it would launch explosive laser beams. He then joined the action, zooming his ship across the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker in strafing run after strafing run, enveloping the enemy ship’s hull with as much destruction as he could muster. Soon, many of the ropes tying the sequoia-ships to one another became torn or exploded apart or melted, and the cocoon of rope and tree began to show signs of unravelling.

  Enemy began pouring forth from breaches in the enemy ship. Many of them wore purple shirts and no protective gear, apparently having been unprepared to face the deadly touch of outer space and too close to breaches that sprouted in the hull near them. Agent 27142 smirked as they died. Many others wore purple space suits as they flung themselves headlong into space and began counterattacking the BeavBoks and B.I.T. agents.

  A dozen B.T.T. agents launched from the aft of the ship. Eleven of them rode upon glowing silver saddles while the twelfth appeared to be a floating ghost with dozens of wispy bandages dangling below his torso rather than legs. Three members of the squadron—including the ghost—wore space suits that were shaded marigold, while the remaining nine wore purple suits. This group maintained a circular formation near the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker’s rear engines. One of the marigold-suited members of the group had a bright red horsehair crest standing erect from the top of his helmet. He used a bow and arrows made from solid orange light to pick off BeavBoks at will.

  God-Art pointed at the man and said, “That individual looks important. We should probably attack him.”

  Agent 27142 frowned and said, “I’m already on it.”

  He aimed the ship at the group riding the floating saddles. As he bore down on them at full speed, he opened fire. He missed wide on his first two volleys, these connecting with a random spot on the B.T.T. dirigible. On the third volley, he managed to fire directly at the group. However, the group took evasive action by all twisting in formation to their right, except for a purple-suited man amongst them who did not move in the same direction. He was hit in the arm by a blast from one of Agent 27142’s turrets. The blast knocked him from his saddle. He was launched into the ether, and he soon crashed against the hull of the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker. He caromed off in a spinning circle toward the earth below.

  Two of the other purple-suited enemy broke from the ranks and chased after him. Agent 27142 ignored them. He rammed the ship toward the remaining nine members holding formation in the circular pattern, continuing to fire upon them with his turrets. He flew through their midst as they dodged out of the way. He nearly collided with the aft of the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker, but he reduced the throttle and jerked the controls so the he spun back to face the formation.

  “Hmmm, I’m rethinking this,” said God-Art. “I think this may be a trap.”

  Agent 27142 ignored the god, instead opening fire with another volley that connected with the torsos of three purple-suited members of the formation, who tumbled from their saddles and died. But at the last second, just when Agent 27142 locked his sights onto the marigold-suited officer with the crest upon his helmet and was about to fire the blast to kill him, something pointy and metal launched toward his ship from beneath the ropes near the engines.

  Agent 27142 attempted to take evasive action, but it was too late. A pair of drills crashed into his view screen. Alarms filled the cabin, and chaos broke loose.

  Chapter 28

  A ROBOTIC TRAP

  Drillbot raced down the corridor behind Alex, 29333, Bagoo, Normal-Art, Older-Art, Ginny, and six Purple Shirts. Random crew members—themselves preparing for battle—dodged out of their way.

  Drillbot listened as Alex called out orders over his shoulder, “The twelve of us are going to retrieve Gravitron Saddles from the cargo hold. Drillbot, on our way to pick them up, we’re going to launch you out of an airlock near the back of the ship.”

  “[whir] OK, but why? Should Drillbot not be with you, since Drillbot is deadlier than all of – CLACK – than all of you?”

  Alex nodded. “That’s right. You’re deadlier. And that’s why you’re going to be our trap. We are going to be the bait.”

  Drillbot followed Alex and the group around a corner. They hurried down the hallway. The ship rocked. The sound of an explosion erupted behind Drillbot. He spun his head around to see that a hole had been blown open in the middle of the hallway. A dozen Purple Shirts who had been bustling through the hallway in the process of readying for battle were pulled out of the open hole by t
he cold vacuum of space. Drillbot rolled toward them, intending to help. Milliseconds later, Sprinkle Buns formed a laser-shield over the hole and pressure returned to normal.

  “Drillbot! C’mon!” called Alex.

  Drillbot turned his head back around to face Alex. “[whir] What about – CLACK – about the Purple Shirts? Drillbot can help them!”

  Alex had reached the end of the hallway. He turned the corner, and then leaned his head back into Drillbot’s view. “We need to stop the cause of this attack, and there isn’t time to do that and save those Purple Shirts! There are lots more Purple Shirts on this ship who are in danger. You’ll do more good by coming with me.”

  Drillbot glanced over his shoulder at the black void of space outside the laser-shield. When he looked back in Alex’s direction, the officer had already disappeared around the corner. Drillbot revved his engines and followed Alex.

  After turning the corner, he caught up to the group as it was descending a spiral staircase. The group reached the bottom and sprinted down the next corridor. The sound of the Arts’ heavy breathing nearly drowned out all noise, but Drillbot focused past it to continue listening to Alex, who yelled over his shoulder, “Drillbot, you will hide beneath the bindings that the enemy has wrapped around our ship. Meanwhile, the rest of us will linger outside near the back of the ship, picking off enemy. Before long, we will draw the attention of the rogue B.I.T. agent leading this attack. We will hold our position until he is nearly upon us. When he is most vulnerable, I will signal to you, and you will spring forth from the bindings and bring down his ship. He’s like the head of the snake, and once the head is sliced off, the remainder of the snake will rout.”

  Drillbot nodded his consent. Because the Arts were slowing the group’s travel to the back of the ship, he scooped them up and held them over his shoulders. After approximately four more minutes of hurried travel, Alex jerked to a halt in front of a thick, metal door.

  Alex pointed to the door and said, “This is your stop, Drillbot.”

  Drillbot dropped the Arts from his shoulders, and they crashed to the metal floor. They both cursed. “[whir] Very well.”

  “Good luck,” said Alex.

  “[whir] Drillbot has warred for decades. Drillbot – CLACK – Drillbot is not the one who needs luck. Good luck to – CLACK – to you.”

  Alex nodded and pressed a button set in the wall. The metal door split open, revealing a small room made entirely of clear material. Drillbot glanced through it. Outside, rope was nearly the only thing visible, with a few sporadic spots of blackness and stars poking between its strands.

  Drillbot rolled forward into the room. The metal doors closed behind him. Then the clear room split apart and pulled itself into the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker. Drillbot was now in outer space. His metal body floated directionless, bumped gently against the hull of the ship, and then bounced outward toward the ropes.

  *

  Drillbot repositioned himself so his wheels pressed against the outer hull of the ship. He hooked one arm through a section of the rope and poked his head between strands of the thick binding. He telescoped his eyes out so he could see.

  Nearly every square inch of the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker’s hull was covered by the ropes. Thousands and thousands of enormous trees lay amongst the cords, bouncing against the hull like a terribly splintery series of out-of-control barnacles. Little creatures that looked like oversized beavers with chicken beaks zoomed about in space suits with tiny wooden jetpacks, wreaking havoc and causing carnage by laying explosive charges against the Unicorn Husker’s hull and then blowing them up with crude, primitive arrows. Bright lasers filled the blackness of space around them as turrets emerged from the hull of the ship and fired upon the creatures. Corpses of Purple Shirts floated across the battlefield. Live Purple Shirts in space suits with jetpacks attached to their backs blasted through the blackness of space around the ship, fighting and dying as they engaged a nearly endless wave of the beaver-chicken creatures.

  The eight-shaped ship that led the procession of gigantic trees into this reality was no longer tethered to the trees. It careened across the heavens, blasting the hull of the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker as it zoomed past on strafing runs.

  While Drillbot sat waiting for First Officer Alexandros ho Megas and his squadron to appear near the aft of the ship to bait the trap, a pair of the beaver creatures approached to lay a mine near Drillbot. When they neared striking distance, Drillbot pounced like an underwater sea creature lying in wait on the ocean floor. His drills slashed out from his cover beneath the ropes. Blood exploded from the beaver creatures where he struck, and they tumbled lifelessly away into the blackness of space, their charges still in their hands.

  Drillbot pulled his drills back inside the ropes. He had time to repeat this process on three more groups of the creatures before Alex and his squadron drifted into view. The twelve-member squadron all wore space suits and sat upon hovering metal saddles—all except Bagoo, who floated in place—in a circular formation with Alex at its center. The colors of the group’s space suits matched their ranks, with Alex and the officers wearing marigold suits while the remainder wore shades of purple.

  Most of the crew moved with relative ease upon their metal saddles. But not Normal-Art. As he gripped the handlebars of his saddle, he seemed to be having trouble managing the throttle and directional controls. Drillbot watched the fool bump into his compatriots dozens of times and launch forward by accident dozens of others. Bagoo had to float forward away from the formation and drag him back each time.

  Alex used the tape-covered chrome cylinder that he always kept in his holster to create a bow made of solid light. He fired laser-arrows at the beaver creatures from this bow, and each time he hit one, it melted into a gelatinous blob that drifted lifelessly away.

  Soon, the ship controlled by the B.I.T. version of Art seemed to notice Alex and his eleven compatriots. It looped in a wide arc away from the Unicorn Husker. It stopped in place for a moment, its bridge facing Alex’s group. Then it blasted forward.

  It fired upon Alex’s group multiple times as it closed the distance between them. It missed wide on its first two volleys, hitting the Unicorn Husker far above Drillbot. But Drillbot watched in horror at the next blast. The blast careened straight at the group. All of them jerked their metal saddles in evasive action and dodged the blast. All except Drillbot’s former master, who still could not get control of the device. Drillbot gasped, for he was too far away to do anything to help.

  At the last moment, Normal-Art jerked his handlebars to the left, spun out of control for a few spins, and then let go of the device’s handlebars to lean over it and hug it for balance. It was just enough movement for a sense of relief to flood over Drillbot. Normal-Art by no means was successful at evading, but he managed to turn so the blast merely glanced off the space suit covering his right arm rather than catching him squarely in the torso. He flopped from his saddle, crashed against the nearby hull of the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker, and bounced away toward the earth below.

  Drillbot’s instincts to protect his former master nearly overrode his current orders. He was just about to burst from his hiding spot to save Normal-Art when Ginny and Older-Art zoomed after him on their flying metal saddles.

  Drillbot nodded and moved his attention from his comrades back onto the incoming ship. It zoomed forward, and just when it neared Alex and his comrades, the group jerked their throttles and evaded.

  The ship blasted through the spot that had been occupied by Alex’s group. It jerked in a short arc, twisting back toward its prey. This arc brought it over near Drillbot’s hiding spot. The ship fired it turrets again, killing three Purple Shirts.

  Drillbot’s processors registered the words that suddenly formed on Alex’s lips: “Drillbot! Now!”

  Drillbot sprang the trap.

  He revved his drills and burst forth from his cocoon of rope, pushing off the hull of the Unicorn Husker with all his might and aiming for the bridge of the ship. He
smiled his version of a smile when he saw the panicked look on the B.I.T. version of Art. And then he scowled his version of a scowl when he realized that God-Art was staring smugly at him from the passenger seat.

  Drillbot’s crashed through the view screen of the vessel’s bridge. But before he could slice through the flesh of his quarry, Agent 27142 and God-Art acted.

  And Drillbot could not stop it.

  Chapter 29

  ABDUCTION

  Ginny sat upon the metal device that had been issued to her by Inventory Officer Yardish Groveland. The earth lay below her and to the right, while the B.T.S. Unicorn Husker loomed gigantic and dangerous and cocooned in enemy sequoias above her and to the left. The seat of the device upon which she sat was shaped like a saddle used for riding horses, but rather than this saddle being strapped atop a horse, this saddle sat atop a set of engines that could send Ginny careening across the heavens faster than the supersonic-hummingbird-version of herself that she had murdered on Earth 6,993,212 while under the Pink One’s control.

  The device was called a Gravitron Saddle, and she had learned through a quick briefing from Officer Groveland that she controlled the speed and direction of her Gravitron Saddle through a pair of handlebars that extended from the front of the device. Her feet hung on each side of the saddle and were nestled inside a pair of Pulsar Boots, the bottoms of which glowed a deep yellow. These boots were designed to help her control the vertical pitch of the Gravitron Saddle and thus assist her in taking evasive action as necessary. The boots sounded useful, but the constant vibrations that buzzed from them and through her feet tickled, and she wished she could turn them off.

  Ginny wore a clear, bubble-shaped space helmet over her head. As strands of hair mingled with her sweat and matted against her forehead, she wished she could remove the helmet so that she could wipe the hair aside. She ignored this frustration as best she could by concentrating her efforts on defending the Unicorn Husker. She used the Time-Phaser that Officer Groveland had also issued to her in order to snipe random attacking beaver-creatures, utilizing the Permanent Devolution setting as she had been instructed. Though she would have expected her years of service to the Pink One to have desensitized her to all forms of violence, she felt a twinge of heartache each time she eradicated one of these creatures, for they were some of the cutest creatures she had ever seen and were made cuter by their spacefaring attire. One such creature was blasting toward her now. She fired into its torso. It melted into a blob of yellowed goop and floated harmlessly away.