Road to Absolution

by Piper Davenport

  “Carter, Maverick is only a few feet away. I want to try and at least pretend I’m not a total whore.”

  His eyes met mine and he scowled. “You ever say anything like that again, Cassidy Dennis, you and I are gonna have a problem.”

  “Well, it’s true.”

  “It’s not fuckin’ true,” he snapped. “Even if you fucked me in your kitchen right now, you’d still not be a whore. We love each other, we’ve known each other for over eighteen years, and we’ve been best friends for most of that time. I think we’ve waited for an appropriate amount of time, don’t you?”

  I shivered. “I’d kind of like the kitchen option at some point.”

  He groaned. “You seriously sayin’ shit like that while tellin’ me I gotta wait?”

  “Sorry,” I grumbled. “You’re right.”

  “We can wait, baby, but I’m not leavin’.”

  “What do we tell Mav?”

  “We tell him I’m home from the Air Force now, I’ve served my time and I’m gonna be a permanent feature in your lives. You’ve already established me in your home with all the photos.”

  I bit my lip. “That’s actually really good.”

  “I know it’s good. Shit, Cass, give me some credit.”

  “No.” I giggled. “You already have the upper hand.”

  “Good to know.” Carter grinned. “You gonna confess now?”

  “Confess?” I asked. “Oh, that.”

  “Yes, that.”

  “Um…well, I have your cologne.”

  “Come again?”

  I felt the heat crawl up my neck. “I was having a particularly bad day a few years ago, so I bought your cologne… it doesn’t quite smell like you, but I have that old Harley T-shirt of yours, so every now and then I spray it and sleep with it.” I covered my face with my hands. “Ohmigod, I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”

  “You spray my shirt?”

  I nodded, my hands still over my face.

  He tugged my hands down and stroked my cheek. “I love you.”

  “You don’t think I’m weird?”

  “No,” he said, but his head bobbed up and down.

  “Dork.”

  He laughed. “You are weird, but not because of that.”

  “Well, that’s a relief,” I droned, sarcastically.

  “I wondered where that damn shirt went.”

  I giggled. “I kind of stole it.”

  “I’m pickin’ up on that.” He cocked his head. “When?”

  “The day before I left for Paris. I took it with me.”

  “You did?”

  I nodded. “I’m sorry, Carter. I wish… I wish…”

  “Huh-uh. Not going there, baby.”

  “Okay.” I swallowed.

  He smiled. “Go to bed, Cassidy. I’ll sleep out here.”

  “I’ll get you a blanket and pillow.”

  Carter kissed me again and then slid off me. “Thanks.”

  I rose to my feet and grabbed the bedding from the hall closet, forcing myself not to let down my guard. I wanted nothing more than to spend the night with Carter, but we needed to ease Maverick into things and I was grateful Carter understood that.

  When I walked back into the living room, Carter had removed his boots and vest, and set his wallet and keys on the coffee table. I saw the old Ford key chain, now worn a little, but still as I remembered. “Do you still have the truck?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “You’re surprised?”

  I shrugged. “A little, I guess.”

  “We restored it together, Cass. Won’t ever let it go.”

  I felt my stomach flip and I smiled. “Did you ever fix the door lock?”

  He chuckled. “Yeah. I’ll take you and Maverick out tomorrow.”

  Handing him the pillow and blanket, I nodded. My emotions were all over the map, but I was too tired to analyze and figure them out. Carter dropped the bedding onto the sofa and reached out to pull me close. “Hey.”

  I blinked up at him.

  “There is no pressure, yeah? We’ve done the hard part.”

  “I wish I believed you.”

  “What don’t you believe?”

  “That this is the hard part. We have so much baggage and I’m afraid it’ll weigh us down moving forward.”

  “We have a couple of carry-ons, Cassidy.” He stroked my pulse, his eyes boring into me. “I know there have been a few shitty circumstances that have kept us apart, but deep down, we’re the same people, right?”

  “I hope so.”

  “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re gonna figure this out together and it’s gonna be better than we ever expected.”

  I dropped my head to his chest. “You’re still the eternal optimist I see.”

  “And you’re still a worrywart.”

  “Promise me we’re going to be okay.”

  He lifted my chin and nodded. “I’ll make sure it is. Trust me, yeah?”

  “I’ll try.”

  Carter chuckled. “There’s my girl.”

  “Okay, I’m leaving you now or it will never happen.”

  “You get lonely, wake me.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  I bit my lip. “I’m used to being lonely, Carter. But if I wake you and take you to bed, I will never let you out of it, and I need to make sure we do this right.”

  “Okay, baby.” He leaned down and kissed me. “Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  I headed off to bed, leaving my door open, which I rarely did. I liked knowing Carter was close and I don’t remember ever sleeping so soundly.

  THE SOUND OF rain pounding on my window, along with the unending laughter of my child, woke me with a start. I threw the covers off my body and sat up, my heart racing until I remembered that Carter was here.

  I took a few seconds to listen through the closed door, wondering when that had happened. I could only assume Carter had closed it so I could sleep. I climbed out of bed and sneaked down the hall to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and hair before following the sound of voices.

  Arriving at the kitchen, I laid my hand over my chest, the scene so unbelievably adorable, it was almost as cute as a kitten hugging a puppy. Maverick was standing on a chair at the counter, whisking batter in a bowl while Carter stood at the stove, cracking eggs over a pan.

  “Mom,” Maverick exclaimed. “I’m helping Carter with breakfast.”

  “I see that, baby.” I closed the distance between us and he lifted his head for a kiss. I hoped he always wanted to kiss me in the morning. “You’re doing such a good job.”

  “Hey, what about me?” Carter challenged.

  “What about you?” I said.

  He tugged me to him and covered my mouth with his. I mumbled against his lips in an effort to break our connection, but he slid his hand to the back of my head to hold me to him.

  “Good morning,” he whispered once he released me.

  I narrowed my eyes at him and his response was a smug grin, so I wagged my finger and shook my head. “Behave.”

  “So if you kiss Mommy, does that mean I can still kiss Katie?” Maverick asked.

  “Busted,” I mouthed.

  Carter flipped the eggs and then faced Maverick. “Here’s the deal, buddy. Mommy and me are gonna get married, so it’s a little different.”

  “You’re gonna get married?” he asked.

  “Carter,” I warned.

  “Yeah, buddy, we are.”

  “Mav, will you please go to your room for a minute?” I said. “Uncle Carter and I need a second.”

  “Okay, Mama,” he said, and jumped off the chair. He left the bowl on the counter and headed to his room.

  “Are you kidding me with this?” I snapped.

  “What?” Carter slid the eggs from the pan onto a plate.

  He’d made himself comfortable in my kitchen and he looked good there. Damn it!

  “You didn’t think this might be something we’d di
scuss first and then decide how to tell Maverick together?” I crossed my arms. “You had no right to blindside me like that.”

  Carter flipped off the burner and leaned against the counter, thus beginning the first of many epic stare-off battles. His slow, sexy smile ultimately solidified my loss. Unable to continue to look at him in all his glory, so I picked up the bowl Maverick had left and began to whisk the hell out the pancake batter.

  “Babe.”

  Whisk, whisk.

  “Cassidy.”

  “What?” I swiped the whisk around the side of the bowl and then began to beat it again, but found them gently removed from my hands and set next to the stove.

  “The batter’s done.”

  “Okay.” I stepped to the sink and washed my hands.

  “Cass, you need to look at me, baby.”

  I grabbed a towel and faced him, glancing up at him as I dried my hands.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “You’re right. We should have talked about it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How would you like to proceed?”

  “I think we should just move past it,” I said.

  Carter frowned. “We’re not movin’ past it, baby, so let’s figure out what we want to say to Mav.”

  I set the towel on the counter. “Excuse me?”

  Carter lit the stove again and started the pancakes. “I say we head down to the courthouse next week and take care of the legalities, I can have Mack draw up adoption paperwork, then we can talk to our families and go from there.”

  “I’m sorry, can you back up a little?” I requested.

  “How far?”

  “Carter Michael Quinn, you do not get to talk over me on this! I have not agreed to anything, especially considering the fact you haven’t actually asked me anything…” I let out a frustrated squeak. “Stop looking at me like that!”

  “Like what, baby?”

  Carter had always had this annoying tactic of barreling over me with his dominant personality and he’d usually get his way, but I was older and wiser now and wasn’t going to let him do it to me again. “Get out.”

  He chuckled and flipped a pancake.

  “I mean it, Carter, get out of my house.”

  “And why would you want me to do that?” he challenged.

  “Because you’re being…” I lowered my voice, “… an overbearing ass! Out or I’m calling Jaxon.”

  “Why would you call Jaxon?”

  “Because he’s the only one I can think of who has the power to bodily remove you.”

  Carter chuckled. “Call him, then.”

  I huffed and turned away from him, making a valiant attempt at removing the nonstick coating from one of my baking sheets. Not the smartest thing I’d ever done, but I needed somewhere to focus my annoyance.

  Carter set the pan at the back of the stove again and turned the water off, handing me a towel. “You done?”

  “No.”

  “Babe, you’re not gonna call Jaxon and I’m not going anywhere. We’re gonna talk about this and then it’s done.”

  I felt tears of frustration well up in my eyes and fisted my hands at my side.

  “Cassidy.” Carter sighed and pushed away from the counter. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “You know I only cry when I’m pissed. I can’t out talk you when I’m flustered, and doing that to me in front of Maverick was totally unfair.”

  He wrapped his arms around me, despite the fact mine were still at my side. “I know. That wasn’t my intention, I just didn’t want you to say no.”

  “I haven’t been asked anything to say no to!”

  Before Carter could charm me further, my phone pealed and I stepped away from him to grab it, seeing Kevin’s name pop up on the screen. “Hey, Kev.”

  “Hey,” he said brightly. “We on for tomorrow? I never got a response.”

  “Ohmigod, Kevin, I’m so sorry. Yes, definitely. Seven, right?”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “’Bye.” I hung up and set my phone back on the counter.

  “Mom, can I come out now?” Maverick called.

  Crap, I’d forgotten about Mav.

  I jabbed a finger at Carter. “Conversation shelved but not over, got it?”

  He gave me a cocky grin. “Yeah, baby, got it.”

  “Come have breakfast, honey.”

  “Whoo hoo!” he sang, and rushed to one of the stools at the island.

  Carter set pancakes and eggs in front of him while I grabbed syrup, and then we joined Maverick and finished our breakfast without any drama.

  “Maverick, go wash up, okay?” Carter said, and Maverick jumped down from the island.

  “Hands and face, please,” I called to his back.

  “Okay, Mom.”

  “How about we hang out, watch a movie, or play a game?” Carter suggested.

  “It’s not like we can go anywhere I guess.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Carter droned, and smiled. “Am I forgiven?”

  “Yes, of course you are.”

  He kissed me and we went about our day.

  * * *

  Monday was a typical Monday, I guess, with the added bonus of pouring down rain again… in June. That was the Pacific Northwest for you. Carter had offered to take Maverick for the day, rather than me taking him to daycare, which meant, I got an extra hour of sleep that morning, which made for a happy Cassidy. And Maverick was beside himself with excitement to do “man stuff.” I didn’t know what “man stuff” would entail, but Carter assured me there would be burping, farting, and general uncleanliness involved, so I left it at that.

  I’d had a rather long day at work, considering I was forced into a meeting with several other analysts and we had to video conference with our New York office. Good God, I hated meetings, but we were being “introduced” to the new Vice President of Accounts and we all had to look like we cared. It was exhausting. The new guy seemed nice. Thomas Dale was British and attractive I think… at least that’s what I was told. We were having issues with the feed, so New York could see us, but we saw them for all of five minutes. The office girls were all aflutter with him, but all I cared about was the stack of work waiting for me.

  I’d been back at my desk for almost an hour when I got a phone call from the new VP. A little strange, since I wouldn’t have much to do with him, but I took the call anyway.

  “I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your time,” Tom said.

  “No problem,” I said.

  “Do you have any feedback for me?”

  “On what?”

  “The meeting, how it went. Perhaps something you feel needs to change.”

  The question was strange as I had nothing to do with his department, but there were always ways to improve working conditions.

  “Yes, actually, I have a few ideas.”

  “Excellent,” he said. “Why don’t you shoot me an email with your thoughts and I’ll look them over. I’ll be visiting next week and I’d love to take you to lunch if you have time.”

  I pushed a stack of files aside. “I have no idea what my week will be like, but I don’t typically have much time for lunch.”

  “Well, I hope you’ll find the time for me. I must run, but have a lovely day, Cassidy.”

  He hung up and I sat staring at my phone for a second, a little shocked by the strange conversation. I shrugged and formalized my ideas as I moved through my day. Before I left, I sent a quick email to Tom and then shut down my computer.

  I arrived home to find Carter had cooked. Seriously, I was loving this side of him. I hated to cook, so if he wanted to take that on, I was all for it. The only issue I had was I was dancing in less than an hour and I never ate before a strenuous workout, so Carter wrapped it up and set it in the fridge for later.

  “Maverick usually comes with me on dance nights,” I explained as I slipped off my shoes and hung up my raincoat. “So, you’re free.”

  “I d
on’t want to be free,” Carter said.

  “You don’t mind watching him?” I asked, walking into my bedroom.

  “I was thinkin’ we’d both come with you.”

  I glanced over my shoulder with a snort. “You hate ballet.”

  “No I don’t.”

  “Since when?” I grabbed my dance bag and a clean leotard and tights from my drawer.

  “Okay, I still hate ballet… but I love watching you.”

  I grinned. “It’ll bore you, honey. Trust me.”

  He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “Why are you doin’ this?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I thought you weren’t dancing anymore.”

  I made sure my toe shoes were in the bag and frowned at Carter. “I never said that.”

  “Maverick did.”

  “No, he didn’t. He said I don’t do it as often as I like, but I still dance.” I studied Carter’s expression. He looked irritated. “Kevin’s working out a new routine and I’m helping him with it. He’s doing some showcase in September and his regular partner’s in San Francisco until August.”

  He scowled. “Does he do shit like lift you above his head while his hands are on your pus—”

  “Carter!”

  “Just answer the question.”

  “Ohmigod, no I won’t. You’re taking this to a level it doesn’t need to go.” I closed the distance between us and laid my hand in the middle of his chest. “Now, go amuse yourself while I get changed.”

  He backed away, but I could see he didn’t like it. I changed quickly, threw sweats over my dance stuff and walked into the living room.

  “Mav, take over the game for a bit, yeah?” Carter said, rising to his feet.

  “Okay,” he said, and focused back on the television.

  Carter slid my bag from my shoulder, his other hand at my waist, pushing me gently back toward my room.

  “What are you doing?”

  He closed us in and wrapped his arms around me, leaning down to kiss me as he guided me to the bed. Without warning, the front of my leotard and bra were pulled down, exposing my breasts. I moaned when Carter drew a nipple into his mouth, then focused on the other one.

  Cupping my breasts together, he gently blew on the sensitive nubs before giving them each a gentle nip and righting my clothes.

  “What are you doing?” I rasped.

  “I wanted my mouth to be the last thing you remembered before he put is grubby hands on your body.”