Happily Ever After This Christmas

by C. K. Martin

  She hesitated for a fraction of a second before pushing open the door and crossing the threshold that separated Johnson’s Bookstore from the rest of the world. The warmth hit her first, bringing with it the noise of laughter and children playing. Once this would have been enough to make her roll her eyes and head straight back to the mulled wine, but now she found herself looking for Emily. Jo pushed her father inside and then they were in the midst of it all. The display tables had been cleared of books, instead trimmed with a festive winter green cloth and covered in decorations. A few teenagers with buckets were walking around taking collections. Kayleigh had mentioned hiring casual staff by employing those local high school students with a love of reading. It seemed she had picked the right ones if they were willing to give up their evening to work for free and help out here.

  Jo had to remind herself to play it cool, instead of bobbing up and down trying to see over people’s heads. Tonight wasn’t all about her. It was about Kayleigh and Emily. And the children, she added as a mental afterthought. That was it, the children.

  At the back of the store, the tree was lit up as it should be, in its full glory. In many ways, it still looked like a potential health and safety hazard or, at the very least, a crime against good taste, but Jo didn’t care tonight. She simply wanted to be a part of it all. A part of village life and a part of Kayleigh’s.

  Next to the tree stood Santa, waving to the children and giving out occasional presents. If there was any kind of system, she couldn’t work out what it was, but the absence of meltdowns was a good indication that it worked.

  ‘Hi.’ A voice behind her made Jo jump. She turned around to see Kayleigh standing there, holding two plastic tumblers of mulled wine. ‘I jumped the queue for you. One of the perks of the job.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘No problem.’ Kayleigh smiled and Jo felt her knees go weak in a way that wouldn’t be a good combination with the wine. She might have to turf her father out of the wheelchair so she could sit down if Kayleigh hit her with that thousand watt grin again. Jo stared for a few more seconds, before Kayleigh gave a subtle nod in the direction of the drinks.

  ‘Oh. Yes. Thanks.’ Mentally kicking herself, Jo took one of the tumblers and handed it to her father who, in the lost seconds when Jo had been gazing like an idiot, had been discovered by Emily and the two of them were now engrossed in conversation. She turned back and took the one intended for her, trying not to spill it when their fingers touched. Yup, she had it bad.

  ‘I can’t stay,’ Kayleigh said, pulling her hands away and shoving them deep into the pockets of her jeans. ‘I have to manage this chaos.’

  ‘Of course. It looks great.’

  ‘Thanks. Talk later perhaps? If I have time?’

  ‘Sure. Go ahead. Oh, and thanks for this,’ Jo raised the cup. At the last second, she realised her hands were shaking and prayed that Kayleigh would assume it was due to the cold weather they had just been through to get here.

  As Kayleigh headed back into the crowd, Jo watched her go. This was going to be a tough night. But, it seemed, she had been forgiven. Maybe not all the way, but a crack had appeared in that hard outer shell and Jo was prepared to take full advantage of it. The two of them had a connection, she had known that right from the start, but all the drama had got in the way. When tonight was done, she would have to convince Kayleigh to allow them to start again with all of the difficulties behind them.

  A tug on her coat snapped her back to the real world. She looked down to find Emily grinning back up at her. ‘Hi Emily. Are you having fun?’

  ‘Lots. Aunty Webby is happy again too.’

  ‘That’s good isn’t it?’

  ‘She’s been sad a lot lately.’

  ‘She’s probably just been very busy. Look at all the people here. That’s a lot to do. Plus she managed to get Santa to come. That’s pretty impressive.’

  ‘Oh.’ Emily looked over her shoulder and then beckoned for Jo to come down to her level. She bent forwards so she could whisper in her ear. ‘That’s not really Santa. That’s Uncle Rob. But you can’t tell anyone.’

  ‘My lips are sealed.’

  ‘He helps Aunty Webby do this every year. He says he’s not fat enough to be Santa, but she says he is. But the real Santa is too busy, so he has to help. But you can’t tell the other kids. They’ll be sad.’

  ‘Well it’s very good of Rob to help out. But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.’

  ‘He’s still given me a present though.’ Emily proudly held up a small box wrapped in bright red paper.

  ‘That’s the main thing.’

  ‘Are you going to stay?’

  ‘Yes, we’ll be here for a while.’

  ‘I’ll see you later then. My friend Mozzi is waiting for me. She says that her parents are still going to make her go to bed at normal time even though we don’t have school tomorrow, but I can stay up late. Bye Jo. Bye Mr. Herbert.’

  With that she was gone, leaving Jo and her father standing there. ‘Mr. Herbert?’ she asked with a raised eyebrow.

  ‘I think it’s wonderful that some children these days still have manners. Must be the way she was raised. Kayleigh’s done a good job, don’t you think.’

  ‘Hmmm,’ Jo mumbled into her wine.

  ‘Nice woman. Kind. Strong. Cares about the community. Shame she’s alone, wouldn’t you say.’

  ‘Oh shut up,’ Jo swatted him on the shoulder.

  ‘Just pointing out the obvious.’

  ‘There is no obvious.’

  ‘My girl, from the way you were staring at her with your mouth flapping up and down like a fish, there was plenty of obvious.’

  ‘Oh god, was I really that bad?’

  ‘I’ve never seen you look at someone like that before.’

  ‘It’s not that simple.’

  ‘I keep telling you. Make it that simple. Goodness, there’s Terry.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Terry Gibbons. Used to own the farm on the way out of the village. Used to bring us fresh milk when you were a nipper. Don’t you remember?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Take me over to him. I want to have a chat with him about the Rotary Club for next year.’

  ‘Sounds thrilling.’

  ‘I never said you had to stick around. Go talk to someone your own age.’

  ‘She’s busy,’ Jo grumbled, pushing their way through the crowd towards where the man who she had no recollection of was standing.

  ‘Well offer to help. Or make new friends. You don’t have to hover behind me all night like your only purpose in life is to push this damn thing around.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Of course I am.’

  ‘I’ve got my mobile on me. Do you have yours?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Is it charged?’ she asked suspiciously. This was something of a recurring theme.

  ‘I think so.’ He patted his pocket, as if that was all it took. ‘I’ll give you a call if I need you. I promise. Now go. I’m not completely useless.’

  ‘Okay, okay. As long as you promise?’ But he was already reaching up to grab Terry’s hand and she knew she had been dismissed from the conversation.

  Jo stood awkwardly for a minute while the two of them began to talk, before realising she should move if she wanted to stop looking like a spare part. In the close confines of the shop, it was starting to get warm and she tugged the top of her coat open to let in some fresh air. Yes, it was just the sheer number of people in the store, she told herself. Nothing to do with the mulled wine and the prospect of actively seeking Kayleigh out for the first time since her animosity had begun to thaw.

  She moved through the crowd, apologising left and right for bumps and treading on toes. The whole village must be there. More importantly, she realised, the whole village was dipping into their wallets, the Christmas cheer getting them to part with their hard-earned cash. After coming so close to not going ahead at all, she could only
hope she had played some small part in making it a fantastic success.

  Towards the back, just before the Christmas tree displayed in all its glory, Rob looked like he was beginning to flag in the face of the long line of children. His beard hadn’t quite slipped, but she could see traces of sweat glistening on his brow. Now she had seen the man underneath, she could appreciate the amount of padding he must be wearing under the costume. It would be like a sauna in there. Next to him, chatting animatedly to someone, was Kayleigh.

  Jo took a moment to look at her. Really look at her. This was her big night and her passion for it shone through. She looked almost happy and that wasn’t something she had ever really seen in all the times they had met before. That thought alone tugged on her heartstrings and redoubled the guilt she felt for causing all the trouble in the first place.

  As if sensing she was being watched, Kayleigh turned and made eye contact. Jo’s world froze for a second again and she wondered when Kayleigh would stop having that effect on her. A simple smile should not have the ability to disconnect the brain and body in such a way. She forced herself to give a small wave and saw Kayleigh begin to wrap up the conversation.

  ‘It’s really busy in here,’ said Jo, when the two of them finally stood next to each other.

  ‘I know,’ Kayleigh replied, her voice almost too quiet to be heard above the din. ‘My throat is getting sore from talking to all these people.’

  ‘There’s a few hours left to go yet.’

  ‘I know. I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow. But it’s worth it.’

  ‘Pardon?’ Jo asked, leaning in closer.

  ‘I said it’s worth it,’ Kayleigh raised her voice again.

  ‘Do you think you’ll raise as much money as last year?’

  ‘Fingers crossed.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I said,’ Kayleigh began before giving up. She gestured for Jo to follow her and began to move towards the back of the store. The crowd became a little less tight once they were clear of Santa, but it was still busy enough. They reached the roped off area and Kayleigh stepped through it.

  Jo followed, knowing the space behind the Christmas tree all too well. The books towered above them on either side, a curious collection of old, cracked spines, long since forgotten. Hidden from view by the colossal number of hand crafted decorations and gifts, it felt like a private sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the main store.

  ‘That’s so much better.’ Kayleigh leaned against a bookcase, arms crossed comfortably across her chest. ‘God, it’s madness out there.’

  ‘I’m really glad that it is.’

  ‘Me too. We’ll know tomorrow when I do the final count of the money, but so far it’s looking like it could be the best year for us ever.’

  ‘That’s great news. Really. I mean it.’ Jo gave her most sincere smile. Up until the day before, Kayleigh had been unwilling to believe that she felt terrible about what she had done. Jo had been given the distinct impression that Kayleigh thought she actually enjoyed causing the devastation, when nothing could have been further from the truth. She was about to discover if her grand gesture, in the end, had finally won Kayleigh round.

  ‘I know you do. That was what I was trying to say back there. I haven’t thanked you for making this possible. Maddy was a lifesaver.’

  ‘I won’t tell her that, it’ll just go to her head and that’s big enough already. It was the least I could do, after all the trouble I caused.’

  ‘I suppose I should apologise to you for that too,’ said Kayleigh, a half-smile of reluctance on her face.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m not sure I heard you.’ Jo feigned deafness and stepped closer. She cupped her hand to her ear. ‘Could you say that again?’

  ‘Okay, okay. I said I’m sorry.’

  When Kayleigh leaned in to whisper it into her cupped ear, Jo could smell her perfume, soft and sweet. The two of them were almost the same height and Kayleigh’s eyes met with her own as she half pulled away. Jo swallowed nervously. The noise of the rest of the room faded away as she stood, paralysed by what could happen next, tucked away in their own little piece of Christmas.

  Jo didn’t know what to do. She only had Rob’s word for Kayleigh’s interest in her, if he had even called it that. He’d just suggested that the two of them should give each other a chance, that was all. She swallowed again, praying for some sort of sign that would tell her what to do.

  She glanced heavenward, as if expecting God to be interested enough to send a word of wisdom her way, and saw above them a sprig of green and white. It was wrapped in fairy lights and from this distance, in amongst the twinkling, she couldn’t tell if it was real or plastic, but it didn’t matter. Kayleigh’s eyes followed her own and the two of them stood under the mistletoe waiting for the other to make the first move.

  This was her chance, Jo knew. She still believed, perhaps even more so after this evening, that Kayleigh was out of her league. But she also knew that she would never get a chance like this again and if she didn’t take it, she would be kicking herself forever.

  She took a deep breath, prayed that this wouldn’t end in a slap like it had the last time she’d pulled this stunt on someone, and leaned in. At the last second she closed her eyes, not wanting to see a look of horror on Kayleigh’s face if she had misjudged the situation after all. A slap was better than that, she reasoned.

  Kayleigh’s lips against her own were soft. The kiss was gentle, almost chaste, but it was more than a ‘just a friend’ kiss. Jo waited for Kayleigh to pull away, but instead she found a hand on her hip, pulling them together. The kiss deepened and Jo felt her world start to spin as she realised she was finally kissing the woman she’d been unable to get out of her mind from the moment she had set eyes on her.

  Then, she was gone. The spell was broken.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Kayleigh’s hand flew up to her lips, as if surprised by what they had done without her permission.

  ‘Don’t be—’

  ‘No. I shouldn’t have done that. We can’t…I’m sorry, this was a mistake.’

  ‘Kayleigh, we should—’ but before she could finish the sentence, Kayleigh had already turned away, moving around the Christmas tree that had served as a shield from the crowd and heading straight back into it.

  It wasn’t the first time Jo had kissed a woman who’d then run away in a moment of panic, but this one sure as hell hurt the most.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The evening had been a monumental success.

  That was what everyone kept telling her, even as she fake smiled and allowed the panic to course through her. Only Rob noticed enough to ask her what was wrong. To which she had replied, quite honestly, that everything suddenly felt overwhelming.

  Kayleigh stared at the ceiling, the light from the landing making shapes in the room visible. Outlines of furniture, picture frames on the walls, their glass reflecting the light out at strange angles into the room.

  She reached out and turned on the lamp. Sleep was going to remain elusive for some time, so she might as well embrace the fact.

  The evening had been a success, she reminded herself. That was what she should be focused on. She reached up and touched her lips. It had been so long since anyone had kissed her, she had almost forgotten what it felt like. A kiss that wasn’t from a friend, or a sloppy display of affection from Emily. A kiss that had sparked instead a long buried feeling, kept somewhere deep inside.

  Her first and only real relationship had not been a great success. At the time, she had walked away from it thinking she was heartbroken beyond repair and she would never be the same again. It had mattered far more than anything else. She rarely thought back to it these days, but in hindsight it was nothing in comparison to the loss of her sister and brother-in-law. If she’d wanted to know what real pain felt like, then that was it. By then, the heartache had already begun to lessen. Rob had told her all along it would, but in the acute agony of the moment it had been impossible to believe him.
It had also been impossible to believe that she would ever want to find anyone else. Or that there would be anyone out there — any woman out there to be specific — who would feel the same way about her. She’d already made the decision that the village would always be her home, and slim pickings was an understatement. He’d told her that her time would come, but she hadn’t believed him then, despite being right about her finding the strength to go on and heal.

  She was also marginally annoyed that Rob had been right about Jo. The two of them did fit together well, if the spark of the kiss they had shared was anything to go by. If she hadn’t so very recently got the electricity problem fixed in that part of the store, she would have wondered if it had finally broken and was sending tingles up through the floorboards and into her entire body.

  With the duvet tucked up under her chin for warmth, she knew she only had herself to blame for letting it get that far. She’d seen the mistletoe above them, of course she had. A rebellious part of her had been debating whether she should take the risk when Jo had done it for her and absolved her of all such responsibility. But she could have pulled away then. She could have pulled away instead of leaning into the kiss, feeling it melt her body like nothing she remembered from before. She was the one who had deepened it and moved closer.

  Oh, and she was also the one who had then run away, she reminded herself. Mustn’t forget that part of it. Literally run away. Nothing about the experience painted her in a good light and she knew it. The remainder of the evening had been fraught with tension as her face remained frozen in a smile for others, while her eyes scanned the room for Jo at all times so she could avoid her and the hurt look she would no doubt have on her face. Those eyes would be the death of her, all sad and forlorn, like a puppy she’d kicked. She remembered it now from the first time when she had come in to apologise and Kayleigh had cut her down before she could even properly get the words out.