Happily Ever After This Christmas
Page 18
‘I have no plans. Not Christmas Eve plans. As long as I go home tonight and make sure that Dad has made it to bed okay, then I’m all yours. If you want me.’
‘Emily and I have our own Christmas Eve traditions.’ That first Christmas they had spent together, it had seemed important for her to establish them, even though Emily had been far too young to understand. She wanted to set them in stone before she herself had a chance to forget what her family Christmases were meant to be. What they would have been like if things had been different. That Christmas Eve, the two of them had spent it alone, just as they had done every Christmas since. She didn’t know what made her extend the offer to Jo, but somewhere deep inside it felt right. It could be time to share it with someone else who would make the time special in a different way.
‘If you’re sure?’ Jo seemed to understand the enormity of what she was saying. Kayleigh was grateful she didn’t push.
‘It’s not up to me. But if Emily is okay with it, then perhaps you could come home with us for a few hours?’ She was careful to make sure the offer didn’t extend into the night. One step at a time. This already felt more than her heart could handle.
‘I’d love to.’
‘In that case, we’d better go and ask.’ Kayleigh didn’t break their hands apart as she led Jo over to the counter, where the rustle of paper told her that Emily was still trying to work out exactly what the gift was. Before they reached there, she stopped and turned around. ‘If she says no, then that’s it. I won’t push her and I won’t let you do it either. A hint that you’re trying to convince her and that’s it.’
‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’
‘Good.’ Feeling better that she had made some small step towards laying unfamiliar ground rules, she continued to where Emily sat. ‘That present better not have even a millimetre of paper torn, missy.’
‘It hasn’t. I promise.’
‘Good. Because it’s not too late for Santa to change his mind about his naughty list.’
‘I’ve been good. I want to be on the good list.’ There was a hint of mild panic in her voice. Kayleigh suppressed a smile. This time of year had fabulous blackmail material to get things done. ‘Well as long as you carry on being good before bed then I think you’ll be on it. I have a question for you.’
‘Yes?’
‘How would you feel if Jo came back to the house with us for Christmas Eve?’ Kayleigh wasn’t sure if she had worded the question right, but this was all a new and steep learning curve. Had she given Emily enough wiggle room to say no if that was what she really wanted?
‘Can she?’ Emily scrabbled up from the floor, excitement lighting up her eyes.
‘If you want her to.’
‘Yes, we can show her our Christmas tree there too. It’s not as big as this one,’ she confided, taking Jo’s other hand, ‘but I think it’s just as pretty.’
‘Wow, that must be really pretty then,’ Jo said, crouching down until she was eye level with Emily. Kayleigh watched, hardly daring to breathe. ‘But I can come and see it another time if you want to spend tonight just with your aunt. I know it’s a special time of year.’
‘No, that’s okay. I want to show you the tree. Can she have a mince pie too?’ Emily looked up at Kayleigh.
‘I think so.’
‘They’re special ones. From granny’s recipe.’
‘I’m sure they taste amazing.’
‘They do. I don’t like mince pies but granny’s mince pies are special. She’s dead too like Mommy and Daddy. At Christmas eve, they look down and watch us eat them instead.’
‘I bet they’re all very pleased that you enjoy them then. I’m sure I will too.’ There was a hitch in Jo’s voice but she controlled it well. Kayleigh felt herself doing the familiar trick of pushing her fingernails into her palm until the crescents almost drew blood. The physical pain always helped hold the emotional pain, and the visible tears that Emily would see, at bay.
‘In that case,’ Kayleigh jumped to Jo’s rescue, ‘we’d better get things finished here. I’ll just get the money up to the safe and then we can go. Start putting your coat on.’ She gave Jo a little squeeze on the shoulder as she walked past. If this thing, whatever it was, was going to work between the two of them, then she wouldn’t always be able to provide a distraction from the casual trauma of Emily’s life. But tonight, Jo had met the test and that was enough of a start.
As she climbed the stairs to the upstairs room that housed the stock and the safe, the sounds of Emily filling in Jo on their Christmas Eve traditions drifted up to her ears. She had no idea if she was doing the right thing. It was hard. Hard enough that it made complete sense as to why she had been putting it off all these years. Too busy to be lonely, why put herself through all this added stress as well?
But now the option was out there and the memory of this kiss meant it would not easily go away. Tonight, once Emily had finally been persuaded to go to bed, then there was every chance that kiss would happen again. If it had been anything like the first, then Kayleigh knew she would not want it to stop.
As she placed the money into the safe, she felt the terrible weight of uncertainty fill her again. She’d built her life so carefully, with so many spaces that no one else could go. Even up here, a simple stock room held so much family sentimental significance that no one else was allowed in. The temporary staff collected the stock she had chosen from the bottom of the stairs once she had carried it down. Books had become walls to her and with each wall that was crumbling, the future seemed less and less certain.
In her dreams and her nightmares, she had walked the road that lay ahead of her countless times. The road that took Emily through primary school, where her friends knew her and never cared about the fact she had a prosthesis that meant she used a wheelchair sometimes. Secondary school filled her with more fear, when teenagers were cruel just to be cruel sometimes, and Emily would have a reason to stand out. In her more positive moments she allowed her hopes for the future go beyond that, to university and a career. A doctor, a lawyer, usually something more driven that Kayleigh would have chosen for herself. Any dream profession that showed Emily could do just as well as any fully able-bodied person would.
None of those dreams had ever included anyone else walking with them through the journey. It would take a long time for Jo to fall in step with them, in the present and in the future.
As she turned to take one last look at the room, a final procrastination before facing the future, something caught her eye. There, in the loosely defined children’s section, a book poked its spine out further from the rest. An old edition of Charlotte’s Web that she always hesitated to put out for sale. Its gloss cover glinted at her in the faint light and she smiled. Like a ghost of Christmas past, it was the closest thing she was going to get to a sign.
If her sister thought everything would be okay, then the least she could do was try.
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About the author
C.K. Martin is a British writer of mostly - but not exclusively - lesbian fiction. She loves writing character-driven stories, so you’ll find her books in the romance, crime, thriller and fantasy genres. She believes that realistic, diverse and engaging characters shouldn’t come at the expense of great plots - readers deserve to have both. If you enjoy her characters in one genre, then you'll find similar heroines in the others if you feel like branching out. Discover detectives, vampires, gangsters and runaways, all looking for their happy ending.
When she’s not writing, she can usually be found with her nose in a book (or pressed against the Kindle screen). Her third biggest passion in life is travel, so although she’s based in England, for much of the year you won’t find her there. Instead she’ll be hanging out with her wife in some amazing city or, more likely, at the beach.
You can get in touch with the
author by email ckmartin.author@gmail.com, or follow on twitter @CKMauthor. For more frequent updates, visit http://www.ckmartin.com/
Other books available from this author
Dirty Little War
TAPAS AND TANGELOS
HAppily ever after this christmas
teddie mckay Series
The Crochet Killer
A Taste To Die For
urban fantasy books (as Cas MArtin)
Blood Inheritance
black market blood
shadows of blood
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Get Free Stuff!
About the author
Other books available from this author