Return of the Dwarf King

by Charley Case

  “You would be okay with that?” she asked Penny. Then, when she realized what she was saying, quickly added, “I mean, theoretically.”

  “Chi. Shirich.” Penny emphasized the words just right so that the tone was undeniable. ‘Fuck yeah, I’m good with that.’

  Mila barked a nervous laugh. “Guys, come on. I’ve only known him for two days. You can’t fall for someone in two days.”

  Danica and Penny locked gazes, grinning the whole time. “Who said anything about falling for him? I just wanted to know why I was going to have to start cutting the air with a knife just to get through all this sexual tension.” Danica laughed, and Penny puffed flames, chortling right along with her.

  Mila rolled her eyes. “Okay, enough. He’ll be out any second and see you two acting the fools. Then we’ll have to explain why, and that could blow everything. Please just back off. I don’t have any comment at this time.”

  Danica and Penny exchanged another look and nodded before settling back into their respective places as if nothing had happened at all. As soon as Danica’s head hit her lap, the bathroom door opened, and Finn walked out, adjusting his belt. He went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, opening it with pure brute strength instead of a bottle opener, and tossed the cap in the garbage before returning to his place on the couch beside her.

  “What did I miss?” he asked, seeing the strange look on Mila’s face.

  Mila felt her cheeks redden. “Nothing,” she practically squeaked out, which made both Danica and Penny start laughing.

  Finn raised an eyebrow in confusion, but settled back into the couch and took a swig of beer. “Okay. Keep your secrets. I have the Duke.”

  It took nearly ten minutes before Mila built up the courage to put her feet back on his lap. As soon as she did, he automatically started rubbing one of them with his free hand while he took another sip of his beer.

  Danica rolled her head forward and gave Mila a kiss on the thigh before patting her leg affectionately in recognition of her bravery. A warm feeling rose up in Mila’s chest, and she started running her fingers through Danica’s long, blonde hair with gentle strokes as Pepper told the Duke, “That’s some bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.”

  John Wayne charged, guns blazing, and Mila closed her eyes, enjoying the large hand gently rubbing away the soreness of a long couple of days.

  Mila woke with a start. She was still on the couch, with Danica and Penny sleeping on her, but Finn was on his feet pacing, her phone ringing in his hand. He glanced at her and she gave him a nod, understanding right away.

  He answered and put the phone to his ear. “About time you called.”

  She shook Danica awake, who sat up right away, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Penny didn’t need to be awakened, having sat up when Finn spoke. Mila climbed off the couch and waved for him to show her the phone. He did, and she pressed the speakerphone button.

  “..for the helm,” the voice on the line said.

  She recognized the speaker as the man who had attacked them in the park. Luther, or something like it.

  “Sorry, Lithor. I didn’t get that last part. Care to repeat it?”

  Finn smiled at the sigh of frustration on the other end.

  “I said, my mistress has told me that she is willing to trade your ship for the Helm of Awe,” he repeated, irritation thick in his voice.

  “That doesn’t seem like a fair trade, now does it?” Finn raised an eyebrow at Mila.

  “She thought you might feel that way, so there is a second part to the offer. If you don’t trade, she will be forced to destroy the artifact in the middle of downtown,” Lithor snarled.

  Finn frowned and glanced at Danica, who just shrugged. “Again, I don’t really see the problem. I can always find another artifact to suit my needs.”

  “Did I mention that she will be using a magical feedback loop to destroy the helm? One powered by dark magic, which my mistress is a master of? I’m sure you have heard the rumors, or maybe even seen the aftereffects by now. You know she can and will do it. Just tell me where the ship is, and this will all be over.” Lithor’s tone had gone from irritated to condescending.

  Finn’s eyes widened with fear, which scared Mila more than the attacks from the Kashgar had.

  “Okay, you have a deal,” Finn said. “Can I send text on this thing?”

  It took Mila a second to realize that the second part was directed at her, and she nodded quickly.

  “I’ll send you coordinates where we can meet and make the trade. Give me an hour.” Finn ground his teeth in anger, but he was going along with the demands, to Mila’s confusion.

  “Good, I’m so glad you deci—”

  Finn hung up and almost threw the phone before gently putting it on the coffee table and closing his eyes, taking several deep breaths.

  Mila licked her lips and cleared her throat. “Um, am I missing something?” She glanced at Danica, who was paler than usual, the front of her t-shirt crumpled in one of her fists. “I’m missing something. Why did you agree to give them your ship? Like you said, we can just find another artifact to trade to the Huldu.”

  Finn opened his eyes, his calm demeanor back in place. “It’s the way they were going to destroy it that matters. This Dark Star is using dark magic. Not many can, and even fewer can survive using it for very long, but it is powerful enough to fracture something like the Helm of Awe.”

  “Oh, my God,” Danica squeaked, a hand flying to her mouth. “That would be…catastrophic on so many levels.”

  “Why?” Mila hated playing catch-up, but this was a whole new realm of thinking for her. There were just too many variables.

  “Using a dark magic feedback loop on an artifact that powerful wouldn’t just break the artifact, it would release all its stored magic as well. It would explode,” Finn told her as he paced.

  “How big an explosion are we talking?”

  “Chiri sharoopt,” Penny said, her hands mimicking an explosion that kept getting bigger until she couldn’t reach any further apart.

  “So, big?” Mila guessed.

  “Think nuclear-bomb big,” Danica confirmed. “It would wipe Denver off the map.”

  “Oh, my God. That would start a war. Fuck, that would start a world war.” Mila’s stomach flipped.

  “It’s not all bad, though.” Finn nodded, his smile beginning to peek through his dark beard. “I do have the tracking spell on the Anthem. Even if they take it, we can still find her. Probably.”

  “Can’t they just take the spell off, like Danica did to me?” Mila asked.

  “No. I use dwarven magic, something unique to my species. Not many others can use it, let alone comprehend it. I think it’ll be fine. We just need to trust the universe. It hasn’t let me down so far.”

  “Do you want me to come along?” Danica asked, the worry on her face making it clear that she didn't want anything to do with what was about to go down, but she would go if they needed her.

  Finn smiled at her and reached over to squeeze her shoulder. “No. You stay here. I don’t want you getting any more mixed up in this than you have to. Although we could use your car again if you don’t mind.”

  Relief played across her face, and she smiled her brilliant smile. “Of course you can. Try not to get it blown up or anything.”

  “No promises, but I’ll buy you a new one if we do,” Finn reassured her.

  “Well, in that case, you can blow the thing into the stratosphere. I was thinking of updating anyway,” she joked, then sobered. “Be careful, you three.”

  She suddenly reached out and engulfed Mila in a tight hug. Mila hugged her back, but Danica held on tight and whispered in her ear.

  “I know we were teasing you earlier, but seriously. Right there is a generous dwarf. I know that doesn’t mean much to you, but trust me when I tell you I would have made a bet that a four-headed unicorn would appear in our living room before I ever met a generous dwarf. Hang on to him.”

  Mila rolled her eyes an
d whispered back, “I don’t even have him.”

  “If you say so.” Danica released her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Be careful.”

  “Yes, Mom,” Mila replied but squeezed her hand reassuringly.

  Chapter Twenty

  Finn bounced his knee as they sat in the Forester, parked in the turnaround on the fire road, overlooking the valley where the Anthem sat shrouded in the cloaking spell. The sun was still an hour from setting, but the sky was already turning a burnt orange, and the deep valleys were cast in purple shadow where the mountains behind them blocked the light.

  Nervous energy filled the car, mostly from him, but he saw Mila chewing her fingernails from time to time. She checked her phone for the hundredth time since they’d sent the coordinates to Lithor and huffed in frustration when there was nothing on the screen.

  “Hey.” Finn leaned forward, catching her eye. “We’ll be fine. We make the trade, and that will be that. We fight for the Anthem another day. One thing at a time.”

  She gave him a half-hearted smile. “I know, but what’s keeping them from just attacking us and taking the ship and the helm and leaving us dead on the side of a mountain?”

  Finn was taken aback by her dour outlook but had to smile at her forward thinking. “Because I’m a dwarf. And as far as I know, I’m the only dwarf on the planet. I don’t know who this Dark Star is, but she’s smart. She knows there is a whole treasure trove of stuff that will be out of her reach without me. Artifacts that will be lost to time without a dwarf to activate them. Right about now, she’s probably working on a plan to win me over to her side. She won’t kill us; she needs us.”

  He had no idea if that were true, but it was what Mila needed to hear. He and Penny were planning on fighting their way out if need be. Mila’s new armor would keep her alive as long as he was able to get to her side fast enough, and from the lackluster performance the Kashgar had shown so far, he felt confident they could at least get away with their lives.

  Finn was a warrior born and raised. So far, he hadn't seen anyone on the Earth who stood a chance against him. That wasn’t to say he was getting cocky, just the opposite. With each new encounter, he expected the opposition to throw their best at him. There was always someone bigger, badder, and meaner. He just hadn’t met them yet.

  From the corner of his eye, Finn caught the rainbow sheen of a large bubble forming beside the car.

  “Here they come. Be sure to activate your armor, and keep Gram handy.” He looked out the window and saw several more bubbles forming.

  Mila pulled the handle of Gram out of her hoodie’s front pocket. “Got it right here. But I thought you said they wouldn’t attack us?”

  “Never hurts to be prepared for everything. Besides, I’m still getting accustomed to the way you people think on this rock.” He gave her a toothy grin and patted her thigh. “Come on, don’t want to keep them waiting.”

  He opened the door and climbed out. Glancing down into the valley, he caught a smudge of blue in the grass beside the ship and hoped Penny would keep her cool if things went south. She had a lot more to lose than he did, and she wasn’t as tough as she let on.

  Well, that probably wasn’t true. Penny was one of the toughest people he had ever met, both mentally and physically, but he still worried about her.

  In less than two minutes, nearly thirty bubbles had formed, each nearly seven feet in diameter. As if waiting for the last bubble to form, they all popped at once, depositing the same number of Kashgar on the gravel road. Most of them were dressed in street clothes and holding cases Finn assumed held parts for the Anthem. Some, however, were dressed in black fatigues and military-style jackets. Each of them held a baton that Finn guessed was augmented either with magic or electric shockers, from the way they all held them away from their bodies. In the center was Lithor, a black patch over the eye Penny had gouged out.

  Finn had to suppress a smile at the sight of the patch. It had probably been a rude awakening for old Lithor when he found out faerie dragon talon wounds couldn’t be healed by magical means. It was one of the reasons her kind had been hunted to near-extinction.

  Lithor spotted Finn and made his way through the crowd until he was standing face to face with the dwarf. They stared at one another. Well, Lithor half-stared, but Finn knew what he was trying to do.

  “Took your sweet-ass time getting here.” Finn sniffed and glanced at the thirty-some people behind the one-eyed man. “You planning on having a party or something?”

  Lithor pulled a black felt sack off his belt and opened the drawstring, ignoring Finn’s banter. He showed the helm to Finn while keeping hold of the sack. “Here’s the helm, now where is the ship?”

  “I’m going to have to inspect that, you know.” Finn pointed at the sack and gave him an apologetic look.

  “Don’t try anything funny or we will be forced to kill you.” The Kashgar pointedly looked past Finn at Mila. “Both of you.”

  “Yeah, yeah. This ain’t my first rodeo. Though, ironically, I’ve never been to an actual rodeo.”

  Finn held out his hand, and Lithor handed him the bag. The dwarf fished out the helm and turned it over a few times. He had been sure it was the real thing as soon as he saw it in the open bag, but he was also sure there was a little extra something along with it.

  He held the metal close to his face and began to sniff it, turning it over and over until he’d had a good whiff of the whole thing. He almost bought that there were no extra spells etched onto the metal until he sniffed the inside, where there was the faint but unmistakable scent of wildflowers.

  He grinned and lowered the helm. “Whoever does your spellwork should know that dwarves have excellent noses. If they had done the spell a few hours earlier, I might have missed it, but…”

  He let the comment hang in the air between him and Lithor.

  Eventually, Lithor sighed and waved one of his men forward, motioning for him to remove his spell from the inside of the helm. Finn watched, both to make sure the spell was properly removed and to see exactly what it was.

  “Really, Lithor? Another tracking spell? Do I look like I was born yesterday?” Finn stuffed the helm into the sack and drew it closed. He waved a hand over his head and whistled loudly through his teeth, making Lithor cringe at the sudden shrill noise.

  One second, the valley was empty, the next, it had a five-hundred-foot-diameter asteroid sitting in it for all to see, as Penny started pulling up the markers of the cloaking spell and stuffing them into a small bag she was carrying.

  “You should probably hurry if you don’t want the locals coming to investigate. I bet they can see the old girl from the city if they squint,” Finn said, a smile on his face.

  “Get moving, people! We only have an hour to get that thing hidden again,” Lithor yelled, his men jumping into action and running down the slope toward the ship. He turned to face Finn one last time. “Don’t think we won’t kill you and the girl if you try to come after us. Our deal is done. The Dark Star thanks you for your cooperation.” He turned on his heel and started after his people at a much more sedate pace.

  “God, that guy’s an asshole,” Mila said, stepping up next to Finn and watching the retreating figures.

  “Yeah.” He put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a little shake. “See? Nothing to worry about. Told you it would be fine.”

  She rolled her eyes but didn’t pull away. “You also said to keep Gram in hand and wear my armor.”

  “We’ll call it even, then.” He smiled.

  Looking out over the valley, he spotted Penny flying their way, the now-full bag heavy in her hands. As soon as she was close enough, she dropped the bag into his outstretched arms and landed on his shoulder, breathing deep from her workout.

  “Shi chi?” she asked, shaking her wings out.

  “Yup, got it right here.” He patted the black felt bag. “Checked it for spells, and sure enough, they had one on the inside. Watched him take it off. We’re good to go.”


  “Gri chi?” She cocked her head to the side.

  Finn froze, his mouth open to protest, but instead lifted the bag to his nose and began sniffing. “Fuck me. I guess I was born yesterday,” he admitted.

  He pulled the helm from the sack and held it up in front of Penny. She had the decency to not say she told him so and instead blew a steady flame onto the bottom of the bag, catching it on fire. The flames engulfed the felt almost too quickly for Finn to toss it to the gravel road.

  “There was a second spell on the bag, wasn’t there?” Mila asked, a knowing smile on her face.

  “Yeah. Yeah, there was.” He opened the car door and climbed in. “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s go before they realize we found the second spell and decide to do something about it.”

  Mila climbed in and started the car. Backing up, she turned the car around and started down the mountain. “Where to?”

  “The market. We need to meet with the Huldu tonight. We don’t need the parts anymore, but we will need their help eventually, and nothing buys a favor like a nice hefty gift.”

  “Did you learn that from your time in your father’s court?” Mila asked, carefully making a turn that blocked Finn’s view of the Anthem.

  “Nope. The Godfather,” he said, craning his neck when they made another turn and the valley was exposed once again. He could see the Anthem covered in bubbles tinged with red.

  “Is that some kind of title? Like a wise man or something?”

  He could tell she was making conversation to distract him from what had just happened, and he appreciated it, but her not knowing what The Godfather was made him recoil.

  “No, it’s a movie. Have you never seen The Godfather?”

  “Nope. I heard it was pretty good, though.”

  She turned again, bringing the ship into view…or at least, the area where the ship had been moments ago. Now there was only the burned-out crater where the Anthem had landed three days before.

  “Maybe we can watch it together,” she suggested, giving him a smile that faded when she saw the ship was gone. “Sorry. I know she meant a lot to you.” She squeezed his knee and gave him a sad smile before turning back to the road.