Wolf Ways (The Madison Wolves Book 9)

by Robin Roseau

  “No ballerinas or Disney characters stenciled on the wall?”

  Portia laughed then sobered. “You’re serious?”

  “I don’t know.” I looked around, then repeated. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  “Can you imagine a werewolf bedroom with pictures of Mickey on the wall? He’s prey, you know.”

  “Oh, that’s terrible!” I said. “Mickey is not prey!”

  “Yep. Mickey, Minnie, and especially that duck.”

  “Not Donald!” I said. “You take that back!”

  We grinned at each other. Then I asked, “Do you think they’d like some pictures on the walls? I have a great shot of Michaela and Lara together, or we could use some from Bayfield or even our diving trip.”

  “Let’s ask them at dinner tomorrow,” Portia suggested. “They have a sleepover tonight so they don’t have to sleep with the fumes.”

  “Eric said he could smell the paint in the cell a year after it was painted.”

  “Can he? I haven’t noticed.” She sniffed. “This isn’t offensive, although it’s strong. It makes it hard to smell anything else, and that’s the real problem. Wolves get nervous when we can’t smell the right things. We don’t dislike the wrong smells; it’s the lack of the right smells that get us. They won’t be able to sleep until the room smells like Lara and Michaela again.”

  Just then, my stomach announced its displeasure with the dining arrangements. Portia smiled. “There’s a laundry tub downstairs. You get to wash the brushes, rollers, and paint trays. I’ll take care of everything here. After lunch, we’ll start on the next room.”

  * * * *

  Portia and I split up when it came time to do the teenager’s bedrooms. Both rooms were a little small for both of us. So she went into one bedroom to do the top, and I went to the other to work on the bottom. But we kept the doors open and were able to still talk, all be it with a little yelling.

  But then I heard someone from behind me. “Zoe? Do you mind if I talk to you while you paint?”

  I looked over my shoulder, and Monique was standing there.

  “Of course not. Come on in.” I smiled at her. “Did I just invite you into your own room?”

  She returned the smile. “Yes.” She stepped in and looked around. “You’re almost done. This looks really good. Thank you.”

  “Is the color okay?” It was a light sea green, and I thought it was very soothing.

  “I hope so. I picked it.”

  “I like it, too.” I paused. “Monique, I want to apologize. You got caught in the middle of some adult things yesterday, and I’m very sorry. I hope you didn’t get hurt.”

  She moved closer then sat down next to me.

  “Careful. There might be drippings.”

  “I checked,” she said. “Are you mad at me?”

  “No, Monique. I was startled and frightened for you. I could have hurt you. That thought made me a little angry, but it was overshadowed by everything else.”

  “You wouldn’t have hurt me,” she said. “If you hadn’t stopped, I would have jumped.”

  I stared at her for a minute. “Over the top?”

  “Probably to land on the car. Otherwise yes, over the top, but then I would have had to chase you. But even if you had hit me, you weren’t going all that fast, and I would have been fine.”

  “Fine?”

  “Maybe a broken leg, but it heals.”

  “Weeks in a cast, and then the leg is always a little more delicate after that.”

  She laughed. I scowled at her.

  “Zoe, you do know I’m a werewolf, don’t you?”

  “Not weeks in a cast?”

  She shook her head. “It would hurt. But I’d shift a couple of times, and I’d be fine. So maybe a bad hour, and sore for a day or two.”

  “A day or two?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Really?” I was having a hard time believing her.

  “Really,” she said. “And we’re a little harder to hurt than humans. If I’d gotten hurt yesterday, it would have been through my own clumsiness.”

  “Of everything yesterday, almost running you over had me feeling the most guilty.”

  “Well, don’t.” Then she looked down. “I’m sorry.”

  “What are you sorry for?”

  “You got into trouble, and it’s partly my fault. Elisabeth collected all the enforcers last night — except Portia, because she was with you — and told us about your sentence. You’re, um. Kind of like grounded, and that part is my fault.”

  I thought about it. “You know, I’m not sure if that’s true or not. You should ask someone else about that. But I know I don’t blame you. Want to know a secret?”

  “Sure.”

  “You can’t tell anyone.”

  “You can trust me, Zoe.”

  I leaned closer and whispered directly into her ear. “I’m actually having fun.”

  She laughed. “I won’t tell a soul.”

  “Portia has been very nice,” I said. “We’re getting along really well.”

  “I like Portia, too. She’s a little standoffish sometimes, but she’s helped me a lot, too. She always has time if I have questions. Eric and Rory do, too, but they’re sort of. Um. What’s the word? When a guy doesn’t treat a girl like she’s competent?”

  “Patronizing?”

  “Yeah. They don’t do it to the other enforcers, but I’m just a kid and a girl besides. Most of enforcers are like that with me, and they’re all so busy besides. But Portia doesn’t do that, and she finds time for me.”

  I smiled. “So, we’re cool?”

  “We’re cool,” she said. She eyed me up and down. “I’d hug you, but I think that’s wet.” She held her hand near her chin and pointed at my coveralls.

  I laughed. “I imagine it is,” I said.

  “Portia said I may talk to you, but that you have to keep painting. If she looks in, and you’re not painting, she’s going to make me paint, too.”

  I laughed and turned back to the wall.

  “How was school?”

  “It was good,” she said. “Zoe?”

  “Oh, I’ve never heard my name said in such a way that I just know a serious topic is next.”

  “You don’t have to answer.”

  “If I am able, I’ll do my best.”

  I continued to paint. She sat quietly for a minute or two before she finally asked, “Will you tell me what happened yesterday? You were so afraid. Why did you run? And I’ve never seen someone that afraid. Even the deer we catch aren’t that scared.”

  I thought about her question. “Monique, I have a favor. As much as you can, I don’t want to know about hunting. Okay?”

  “Oh. Did I upset you? We have to hunt.”

  “I know you do, and no, you didn’t. But do you understand?”

  “Not really. I mean, I do. Don’t bring up hunting. But I don’t understand why it bothers you.”

  “I don’t think you’re capable of understanding any more than I can understand what it’s like to smell everything you can smell.”

  “Oh. I suppose.”

  “I ran because I was so afraid. Do you know about the fight or flight mechanism?”

  “No.”

  “All right. You understand that people are just really smart animals, right?”

  “That’s what Michaela said once.”

  “Most animals experience this.” I explained. “So, think of me as an animal.”

  “All right. Like a deer.”

  “Sure, as long as you don’t intend to treat me like you do a deer.”

  “Maybe Michaela’s pet deer.”

  I laughed. “All right. I’m the pack’s pet deer. We have similar diets, after all.” She laughed with me. “Now, imagine I’m out in the forest, nibbling at a spruce tree, and suddenly I see you — a big, strong, hungry werewolf. What do you suppose I think?”

  “You think you better start running or I’m going to catch you and eat you.”

&
nbsp; “That’s right. Much of my brain shuts down and focuses on one of two choices: running away or fighting. Most animals you would consider prey will try to escape. But most animals will fight if cornered. Have you ever had a badger turn on you?”

  “I had to evict an opossum from one of the bunk houses up at Bayfield,” she said. “He practically flew at me.”

  “Did he bite?”

  “Yeah. All the enforcers teased me and asked if I’d had my rabies shots.”

  I finished painting what I could reach and nudged her further down the wall so I could reach the next section. Then I went on. “When an animal perceives a threat, the fight or flight mechanism can kick in. It doesn’t always, but it can be pretty overwhelming when it does.”

  “I think I understand that part.”

  “Let me ask another question. Have you ever been really, really afraid, so afraid you couldn’t think clearly?”

  “No.”

  “Do wolves feel fear?”

  “Yes, but I’ve never heard of a wolf reacting like you did yesterday. Well, I’ve seen them act a little like that when they’re really angry, but you weren’t angry. You were afraid. We were just there to pick you up for dinner. I don’t understand, Zoe.”

  “Do you know how I was introduced to the pack?”

  “Elisabeth asked you out.”

  I frowned, then I raised my voice. “Portia, are you listening?”

  A moment later, she was standing in the doorway. “You bellowed?”

  I looked over at her. “I don’t know what I can tell her about… um… my first visit to the compound. Or maybe it was my second. I’m not sure how to count it.”

  “Monique, Zoe accidentally discovered us.”

  “Oh my god! How?”

  “You need to ask Elisabeth if you want details,” Portia said. “I’m not authorized to share. Neither is Zoe. Zoe, you may tell her about events after that.”

  “All right. Thank you for clarifying.”

  I told Monique about my stay in the cell while Lara tried to decide whether she could trust me. I glossed over the details, but I made sure she understood I was sure I was going to die, and that I spent an entire week afraid. Then I told her about my nightmares.

  She was quiet the entire time.

  But when I finished, she said, “You thought we were going to kill you?”

  “Three enforcers arrived on my doorstep, unannounced and looking annoyed. I thought the absolute worst. If I had stopped to think about it, maybe I could have been calmer. But because I’ve spent so much time lately being afraid, and my last nightmare was only a few days ago, all I could think about was, ‘run away, run away’.”

  Monique didn’t say anything for several minutes. I let her think about, continuing to paint calmly, bumping her down a few times. Finally she said, “I’m sorry, Zoe.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, Monique.” I didn’t blame her for stopping me, after all. Where was I going to go, anyway?

  “No, but I’m sorry the way people are sorry when someone dies.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate that.”

  “Zoe?”

  “Yes, Monique?”

  “Do you mind if I’m on your security detail?”

  “I don’t believe I am going to have a security detail, or at least not very often, but I would be delighted if you were on it.”

  “Are we friends?”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  “Good,” she said. She looked around. “You’re almost done.”

  “Another few minutes,” I agreed.

  “Unfortunately,” Portia said from behind me, “You have an appointment with the alpha, and you won’t quite finish. Monique, will you escort her to Michaela’s office? I can finish in here.”

  * * * *

  “You look positively industrial,” Michaela said. “You have paint on your face.”

  “I’m not sure I should sit,” I said.

  “Turn around,” she said, making a twirling gesture. “Let me see.”

  I showed her my backside.

  “You’re fine,” she said. “Close the door and take a seat.” She gestured to the guest chair.

  I turned around and gently closed her office door then took the chair. We exchanged gazes for a few moments, then Michaela clasped her hands on the desk and leaned forward.

  “You seem calmer today.”

  “I over-reacted yesterday. I’m sorry, Alpha.”

  “Your fear wasn’t justified, but it was, perhaps, understandable. I wouldn’t have pressed charges, but it would be a bad precedent. Do you understand?”

  I wasn’t exactly pleased about any of this. While I appreciated the apartment I was living in, and I continued to be in awe at all of them, I thought giving up my freedom to their whims was a heavy price. But I didn’t want to pick a fight over this. I would complete my sentence and then do what I could to fade into obscurity. If I weren’t living on the compound, eventually Michaela would set her focus elsewhere.

  So I avoided her question. “Portia has been very kind. I don’t promise to respond well if I feel I’m being abused.”

  She frowned. “I don’t like hearing that, but it’s honest, and to be fair, I’ve said the same thing in the past. As best you can, if you feel you’re being taken advantage of, respond as calmly as you can and find a chance to talk to me. But I expect you to accept my decision.”

  “Yes, Alpha,” I said.

  She gestured to the back of my hand. “What room is that color?”

  I looked at it. “Monique’s.”

  “All right. I want to talk about two things. First, I want to know the real reason you’re being so quiet at meals. I do not buy this line of, ‘I’ll say something when I have an opinion’.”

  “Haven’t we had enough stress for a few days?” I asked. “Do we really need to talk about that?”

  She studied me for a moment. “Let me ask a different question, and I expect an honest answer. Do you consider us friends?”

  I thought about it before answering. “I don’t think there’s a simple answer to that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because first and foremost, you’re the alpha. And when I treated you and Lara as friends, I was punished for it.”

  She sighed. “We talked about that.”

  “Tell me you weren’t putting me in my place, Alpha.”

  “I wasn’t,” she replied instantly.

  “Oh? You pulled rank on me. Is that what friends do? In fact, you pull rank every time you want me to attend one of your events. You even pulled rank when playing matchmaker, ordering Elisabeth to invite me on a date, and ordering me to accept.”

  “Elisabeth didn’t invite you because I ordered you to. She doesn’t do a single thing that I order.”

  “That’s not what I’ve seen. It sure looked like you were the one in charge yesterday. And you were the one in charge the last time I was in that room, too. And speaking of that, if you don’t want me to have a complete panic attack, maybe having me hauled to that room is a poor idea. I don’t have fond memories of it.”

  This time, it was her turn to look away. Then she looked back. “If I had asked you to give me extra help with our field trips, and assured you it was okay to turn me down, what would you have done?”

  “I would have helped,” I said. “But that would have been a request from one friend of another, not an alpha chastising a pack member. Surely you see the difference.”

  “Yes, I see the difference. Are you willing to believe I’ve done the things I’ve done with your best interests in mind?”

  “Including my little trial yesterday?”

  “Well, not entirely on that one, but I think I’ve made sure it’s not as onerous as it could be. I’m not, for instance, allowing Rory to order you about the way Lara did to me.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Long story. Trust me. Portia is a great deal easier to deal with than Rory is. Power goes to his head.”

&nb
sp; “Begging your pardon, Alpha, but power seems to have gone a little to yours as well. If we’re speaking plainly.”

  I probably shouldn’t have said it. It was the sort of comment that had gotten me into trouble with her once already. But instead of lashing out, she nodded.

  “You’re right. You’re absolutely right, Zoe. I can’t expect you to see me as a friend if I treat you as an underling.”

  “But I am an underling, Michaela. I haven’t said you were wrong. I only tried to point out that you’re acting as the alpha, not as a friend.”

  “Yes, well, I was trying to act as a friend. I make mistakes just like everyone else.”

  It didn’t sound like an apology, and I didn’t know why I had to pay the price for her mistakes.

  She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you willing to believe I’ve had your best interests in mind?”

  “I don’t know what interests you have in mind, Alpha,” I said. I looked away. She was dragging me into a conversation I didn’t want to have. And actually, I didn’t believe my best interests were at all a factor in her choices.

  “You shut up,” she said. “Again. Why?”

  I didn’t answer her, and she huffed displeasure. “I require an answer, Zoe.”

  At that I turned to her, my eyes flashing a moment of annoyance before I calmed my features. “Friends don’t demand answers,” I said. “That’s the act of someone in a position of authority.”

  “I am Fox,” she said with a brief smile. “I am capable of being many things at once.”

  “I am human,” I replied, “and I have a very difficult time understanding when I am talking to someone who claims to be my friend, and when I am talking to someone who has the power to order me to speak, and then who can order me punished if she doesn’t like what I say or how I say it. Eleven days for treating you and Lara like friends, Michaela. Another three days for defending myself from unfair accusations. Three more days for avoiding all of you. And six for the crime of being afraid.”

  I sighed. It was far more than I had intended to say.

  “You’re mad about the sentence.”

  “I do not deserve the way I have been treated. But I was only trying to point out why it doesn’t feel like I’m sitting here with a friend. I’m sitting here with the pack alpha. Treating you like a friend has not gone well for me.”