Jason grinned. “You are aware that you’re out of breath from such a long question?”
She had to smile. Even though she was done with her breakfast, she picked up her fork and toyed with it, running it back and forth silently over her empty plate.
“I’m aware. You can tell me if you think it’s a bad idea. Honestly. I won’t hold it against you. I can’t imagine you’d be keen on having your mother in law so close or giving up our own little piece of heaven to an intruder.”
“You actually think that I would call your mother an intruder?”
Amanda stared back at Jason, wide eyed. She finally realized he wasn’t at all offended when his lips quirked up. “I don’t know. I hope not. I just want you to tell me what you think. If you don’t like the idea, I get it. There are probably lots of properties for sale around here.”
“No, it makes sense. I like the idea, what you said. I’ve been debating the idea myself, what to do with all this land. I’ve deforested some for firewood, but it really isn’t good for anything given that it’s so rocky and tough. You can’t grow anything. I don’t know that anyone would really want to buy it. I like it in its natural state too, so I would be fine with leaving most of it.”
“So what does that mean? Yes you’re okay with my idea or no you’re not?”
“Yes, I’m fine with it. If it’s what you want and what your mom wants, we can probably have her a cabin built within the next six months. She could stay in the small cabin until then, or she could find a temporary place if that doesn’t suit her. I know living without power and indoor plumbing can be hard on people.”
“Like me? Do you think I’m soft now that I’m pampered enough to have a bath that I didn’t have to haul water to make?”
“Not at all. I’ll confess I like the convenience of having an indoor shower once in a while. Beats standing naked outside, sometimes freezing under the water bag, bugs eating you alive.”
“Which is exactly why I never showered. I would rather haul a million buckets of water and crank my arm off with that hand pump than subject myself to that.”
“There was always the creek.”
Amanda shivered just thinking about the cool waters that never seemed to warm up, not even in the high heat of summer.
“I seem to recall you liked watching me enjoy a swim or two there.”
Her fate heated as Jason rose from the table. He cleared away the dishes and put them in their brand new apron front sink. It looked like something straight out of a farm house with its two white basins and solid front. She loved it and thought it fit with the rustic kitchen.
Even their additions were rusting. They’d picked out hand scraped hard wood to give it the worn in look of the plank floors in the other rooms. The siding was all log siding which matched the rest of the cabin, even if it was cheating somewhat.
“I’m sure you’d love designing another place. I know how much you liked picking out sinks and lighting and a new fridge.”
Amanda nodded emphatically. “Yes, I loved it. I know you hated it though, but you stuck with me. If only we’d been so diligent about getting the things for the baby.”
“One step at a time. We still have three weeks. More since they say first babies usually take their time about coming.”
She understood what he was saying. She herself had been reluctant to buy a crib and clothing and all the other things they needed, just in case. In case something happened. She didn’t want to be the one to pack everything up if the worst did indeed come true.
It was probably irrational. There had been no signs since the earlier scare that anything would happen to the pregnancy.
Besides, like Jason said, they still had weeks to go, maybe even a month. And her mother was coming. Everything would be right once her mom was there again.
Chapter 15
Dreaming
“You weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t have anything picked out yet. You don’t even have a stitch of clothing or a crib. Where do you think you’re going to put my grandson?”
Amanda nearly winced, but when her mother smiled and she saw that she was joking, she relaxed. “Well, we got the cabin ready. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Joan looked over the room that was going to serve as the nursery. It wasn’t small and it wasn’t huge. It was just right, as Jason had so often said. More than enough room for a crib, a small dresser or change table, a rocking chair, a book shelf and a portable closet since they hadn’t built one in. It would be a good room, easily compatible as their child grew.
“Yes of course. You both did a wonderful job with the cabin. I was very surprised.”
“Were you? Truly?”
“Well, yes. I thought all that talk about modernizing and expanding might just have been talk. Last time I left nothing was even started. It’s only been, what? Four months?”
“Yes.”
“Look what you’ve accomplished. I’m so proud of you both!”
“Well it wasn’t all us. Jason did a lot, but of course we had trades come and work on the place. It was a team effort.”
“And someone had to have the vision and keep the team on track.”
“I guess that was mostly Jason. I just picked out all the décor and furnishings and like he always reminds me, the fridge. I don’t know why, but he really hated going and picking out a fridge.”
“Sounds like every other man to me.” Joan placed her hands on her hips. “I think we should do a few paintings for the baby’s room.”
“Actually, I’ve already done two. They’re just sitting packed away, waiting for the furniture so that I know where to put them.”
“You’ve ordered something already?”
Amanda hesitated. “No.” She decided just to be honest. “I wanted to wait until closer to the end. I mean, when I couldn’t do anything. I was hoping you would help me.”
Her mother’s eyes lit with understanding and she smiled softly. “Of course.” She moved closer and placed a warm hand on Amanda’s shoulder. “I know you probably think that since it’s been so long I’ve forgotten what it was like to be pregnant. I remember how afraid I was. I understand why you’re hesitant to have things here. It’s just getting down to the deadline though and with that belly, you shouldn’t be lifting anything at all.”
“I was hoping we could at least pick it out and Jason could help go get it after.”
“That’s a great idea. Just pray nothing is on back order.”
“I was thinking about buying most of it used. That way we could just go make a day of it. I could pay ahead of time with a transfer or just when we get there to pick it up.”
“That’s a great idea. Too many things go to landfills now.”
“I wanted to take you to this thrift store I like. I think it would be fun to pick out baby clothes together. I don’t just want to buy a used lot even if it is cheaper and easier.”
Her mother’s face lit up with the most radiant smile. “I’m glad, honey. I’m glad that you want to do this with me. You have no idea what it means that you and Jason have both chosen to include me in this special time of your lives.”
“Of course!” Amanda’s eyes shimmered with tears. She took her mother’s hands in hers. “That’s not all. I know you said you had something to tell me. Is it that you’re thinking about moving closer?”
“Yes.” Joan’s eyes also flooded with tears. “I guess I’m not a very surprising person.”
“Well, I was just hoping. I talked to Jason and we wanted to let you know that you always have a place here. You can stay in the small cabin and we would help you build a bigger one, if you want, on our land. You wouldn’t have to pay for the land cost, just for the cost of building. We would help you get the best deals and-”
“It’s perfect,” her mother cut her off. She blinked rapidly to keep the tears from spilling over. “How about we talk about it over a cup of tea. I’ve had a long drive and I’m parched.”
“Oh!” Amanda sti
fled a gasp of surprise by lifting her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry! You walked in the door and I had to show you everything and I completely forgot to be a good host. I guess I can only blame it on baby brain.”
“You had better. You only have a couple more weeks before you can’t use that excuse any longer.”
“After that, I can blame everything on sleep deprivation. I’ve heard babies sometimes don’t sleep through the night until they’re eighteen months old.”
“Some don’t. Some sleep well right from the start. You were a little angel!”
“Then I got older and look what happened.”
Her mother squeezed the hand she was still holding. “We’re here now, honey. That’s all that matters.”
Amanda’s heart warmed and filled with love. It was true, what they said, about really not being able to appreciate what a parent had done for you until it was your turn.
“How about that tea? Then we can look online together and see if we can manage to fill up that room with a whole bunch of furniture and a swing, a high chair, a rocking chair, a change table and whatever else babies need.”
“Sounds like heaven,” Joan sighed happily.
Heaven.
As Amanda led the way to the kitchen, she realized just how right her mother was. She had a man who loved her more than anything in the world, her mother by her side and her child, so far healthy and well and safe within her. It was all she could ask for. It was her version of heaven at the moment.
Chapter 16
Preparations
When Amanda politely informed him that he was coming along to help with furniture pick up, he’d given her the token shoulder lift and the good natured grumbling that she’d come to expect. He didn’t want her to see how privately relieved he was that she’d finally made her decisions. He knew she was waiting for the right moment and having her mother back seemed to settle her. The spark of fear that always glistened in her eyes had faded to a glimmer of uncertainty. He wished he could take even that away from her and somehow offer her reassurance, but he couldn’t even take it from himself.
Amanda and her mother sat in the back seat and chatted happily the entire way to Boulder. Jason half listened at first, but he eventually tuned out and just paid attention to the road. He hated the city, but this felt different. He wanted to do this for Amanda and their baby.
“What’s the first stop on that list of yours?” Jason’s eyes scanned the rear view mirror and locked on Amanda’s face for a second as they neared the city. He’d seen her list the night before. There were at least three pages torn out of a notebook filled with addresses, prices and other information.
Amanda listed off an address. “I’ve worked everything out into a route based on time and area of the city so that we don’t have to spend all day running around.”
“That was quite ingenious,” Jason admitted.
“It was my mom’s idea. Everyone was pretty good about pick up and if not I just grouped the other pickups around what worked for people in that area.”
“And of course you have an excellent navigator.”
Amanda and Joan laughed together. “Yes, and an even better furniture lifter, which is going to come in handy for moving that crib and bassinet and book shelf and rocking chair and-”
“How many things does one small kid need?” Jason cut in. He grinned despite himself.
Amanda knew he was just kidding. “A lot. You know that already.”
“From the look of that list you’re getting him the things he needs right until he graduates. Did you put a car on that list? Clothes? Runners? A bad attitude?”
Amanda’s laughter was contagious and soon Jason found himself laughing along. He glanced in the rear view mirror again and this time his eyes met Joan’s.
“I’m just glad you’re here, Joan, to help get everything organized. I feel overwhelmed already and we haven’t even started yet.”
“I’ll always be good for that,” Joan promised. “Amanda and I have already worked out a schedule for what happens if the baby doesn’t sleep well. She’ll take night shifts and I’ll make sure that I’m available during the day for you both to catch up on some sleep if you need it.”
“I think we both feel better having you here,” Jason admitted. “I don’t know how all the other first time parents handle it. Everyone seems to have it all together, at least on all those videos Amanda is always watching.”
“My favorite is the woman in labor and she has all this makeup on and she’s like, giving a tutorial on how to breathe through her contractions. It looks fake. If all that machinery wasn’t in the background, I would say that it was staged.”
“What about the lake one, where that lady has a home birth in the water?”
Amanda gave a gasp of disgust. “Oh, don’t remind me about that one!”
“A lake?” Joan’s brow wrinkled in question.
“Yah. A lake,” Amanda affirmed. “I don’t know who in their right mind would do that. It just made me think of the creek and how cold it would be. That certainly wouldn’t be safe. But the lake? Ew. Why couldn’t they just set up a bathtub inside or one of those swimming pool things?”
“That sounds like a ploy for viewers,” Joan said dryly. “What do you call it? Going viral?”
“Yes,” Amanda giggled. “That’s right mom. Maybe it was. The only thing I know is that it was horrifying. It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t look away until it was finished.”
“I don’t know who would choose a home birth,” Jason admitted. “I like the idea of having doctors and nurses there to help.”
“It isn’t even an option for us. What if something happened? We are way too far away from the hospital to even consider it.” Amanda shuddered.
“Everything will be fine, honey.” Joan put her hand comfortingly on Amanda’s shoulder.
Jason watched how Amanda almost melted with relief. He was more thankful than ever for Joan’s solid, comforting presence. He felt better knowing that there was another woman there, a woman who had been through all this and could walk Amanda through it. He knew he was a poor substitute for the knowledge and experience and love of a mother, no matter how hard he tried to be there for Amanda.
“I think you just missed our turn.”
“Oh. I’ll take the next one.” Jason had been paying attention to the road, but Amanda was right. He’d completely missed the road he was supposed to go down.
His mind was preoccupied, thinking about that stupid lake video. She was right, he shouldn’t have brought that up. It had been more than unsettling. The whole idea of giving birth at home, midwife or not or whatever they were called, was a terrifying one.
He was never more thankful for a hospital in his life than he was when he’d watched that video. It was a relief that Amanda was on the same page. No, home births certainly weren’t for them.
Chapter 17
A Chilling Storm
Amanda stood at the window, mouth parted slightly in shock. Just staring at the swirling snow buffeting the cabin and listening to the howling winds chilled her.
“A blizzard in April?” She turned to face Jason, who stood at her side, staring out the window right along with her.
“You’ve lived in Colorado your whole life. We both know it happens.”
“I can’t remember the last time it did.”
“I can. Probably about fifteen years ago.”
Cold, icy tendrils of fear tightened her stomach. “You should go check on my mom. Make sure she can find her way to our cabin. It’s white out right now. I can hardly see anything but snow.”
“To think, you were planning the garden yesterday.”
“I was not planning it, I was just starting to think about it. May is a long way away, June even further. It never hurts to be ready.”
“None of us saw this coming. It wasn’t in the forecast.”
“Did you check your phone? Sometimes they issue a special weather statement. I’ll go look on the computer.”
“It’s pretty obvious it’s here now. Must have come up in the night.”
“I can’t believe we didn’t even wake up.” Amanda shuddered. The night before had been peaceful and serene, the snow continuing its melt, giving way to the warmth of spring. Now winter was back with a vengeance. Another fear twisted her insides. “Jason, what if something happens and we can’t get out of here? I mean, maybe this is supposed to last for a couple days and then they’ll need to come plow the roads and we’ll have to plow our own way out to the highway. What if I went into labor?”
Jason’s face paled. All the color drained out leaving his normally bronze complexion ashen. “You still have two weeks to go yet. Don’t worry. Nothing is going to happen.”
“We both said a home birth was not going to happen. Please tell me that it would never happen.”
“It’s not going to happen.” Jason reached out and tucked an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. He lifted his other hand to rest gently on her belly. “You hear that, little one? No coming out until you’re due. We have to get through this snow storm first.”
“I feel like we should have been prepared for this. We should have been watching the weather, maybe rented a room in the city at a motel or something so that we could be there just in case. At least we have the damn crib and everything ready. Blankets and clothing to dress the kid if he decides to come out early.”
Jason’s shoulders heaved with a sigh. “Please don’t say that. I can’t think about that all morning. I have enough worries without that picture in my mind. As to the other, I guess that’s easy to say in hindsight. We hadn’t planned on being in the city when your time got close. Our plan was to leave right when you first went into labor. We all know how long it could take and it’s only an hour drive. We thought it would be fine.”
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