Hooked on You: An Annapolis Harbor Series Prequel

by Lea Coll

  I was stressed at work—nervous to talk to Taylor but anxious to see her.

  “What the fuck’s up with you tonight?” Isaac asked when I checked the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time.

  I just shook my head. “Nothing.”

  A few minutes later, Taylor finally walked in and Isaac raised his brow and asked, “Trouble in paradise?”

  “I’m not sure yet. Can I take a break?” The bar was busy, but we weren’t overwhelmed at the moment. “I need to talk to Taylor.” Whatever was on my face must have convinced him it was urgent because he said, “Okay, but don’t take too long. We’re going to be busy tonight.”

  “Thanks.” Then I walked around the bar to greet Taylor.

  “Hey, I missed you.” She placed her small hands on my chest and went up on tiptoes to kiss me but I kept it light.

  I wanted to respond in kind but the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I said, “We need to talk.” I tried to loosen my jaw but I couldn’t. My body had been strung tight since Ms. Glover flashed that family services card in my face.

  Taylor’s eyes filled with concern. “Okay.”

  Did she really tell a social worker about Zach and our situation? Would she do something like that? Was I wrong to trust her? Or was I jumping to conclusions? As I followed her back to my office, I watched the gentle sway of her hips and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was I ruining us by confronting her? Shouldn’t I trust that she would never contact family services? My stomach churned with confusion and anger. I had to know. Once the door clicked shut behind us, Taylor stopped in front of my desk and turned to me.

  “Did you talk to someone at family services?”

  Taylor’s eyes turned wary and unsure. “I talk to family services as part of my job.”

  I didn’t like how she seemed reluctant to say anything else. “Let me be real clear.” My voice was cold and stilted. “Did you talk to family services about Zach?”

  “No, why would you think that?” Her hands shook a little and she took a slight step back.

  She stopped herself in time, but I still caught the movement. She was nervous and maybe feeling guilty and I had to know why. “Because someone,” I pulled Angela Glover’s card out of my pocket and slammed it on the desk next to us causing Taylor to jump, “from family services knocked on my door today.”

  She didn’t look at the card. “And you think I must have called them?” Her voice was rising now with anger.

  “You expect me to believe you had nothing to do with it?” I was supposed to trust her, but it was hard when I’d never trusted anyone before. The more likely person was Lizzie, but I knew people like her and my mother. They wouldn’t seek out family services. Keep everything to ourselves was practically our family motto and Lizzie was the same. Why would she invite a family services worker into her home when she wasn’t providing Zach with enough food and she was pressuring him to quit school? She wasn’t a model mother. She had things to hide.

  Taylor’s eyes sparked with fire. “Yeah, I do. I expect you to trust me.” Searching my face, she continued, “We love each other, don’t we?”

  The foot separating us was a divide I couldn’t breach and every word forced us farther apart. “But you didn’t deny it. You asked why would I think that of you? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you left your family, your disabled brother to come here to replace Caleb with Zach. We’re just some project to you—someone to save to make yourself feel better.” I could see it clearly now. We were nothing more than a replacement for her. She needed purpose in her life, and we were it.

  She sucked in a harsh breath and her eyes filled with pain. “So, which is it? Am I a selfish bitch for leaving my brother or am I bitch for replacing him with Zach?”

  Shaking my head, knowing I was way over the line with her, I said, “Either, both, it doesn’t matter.” I knew I was supposed to trust her but whatever trust I had in her—in our relationship—was like a fog dissipating with every word out of her mouth that wasn’t I didn’t talk to family services.

  “You need to trust me. That’s what a relationship is. I can’t believe you think I’d go behind your back and report Zach’s situation.”

  I laughed bitterly. “I never said we were in a relationship.” I was technically right, but I’d never thought about it until now. It had been a relationship to me. I knew I was lashing out. I was being an asshole, but I was backed against a wall and I resorted to old defenses—strike first.

  “What would you call staying together each night, fucking without a condom, and saying we love each other?” Her eyes were spitting fire, her hands on her hips, as she waited for my response.

  “Stupid.” I’d never felt more vulnerable in my life. I’d given everything to this woman, and she’d betrayed me. I knew the moment she walked into my bar in her black suit, red heels, and sporting that badge, she was no good for me. She was just like Selena. I was good for a quick diversion before they went back to their real lives—the ones their parents approved of.

  “Oh, really?” Tears filled her eyes and I had to look away.

  I knew accusing her of leaving Caleb would get to her. The words were like a knife to someone who was so good—so nice—so willing to help others. But I had to push her away. Between Ms. Glover’s visit, the fear that Lizzie accused me of sexual assault, and the horrible idea that I’d allowed myself to trust someone who could have betrayed me, I was a mess.

  “I was stupid to think I could help you—I could change you. People don’t change. You’re always going to believe the worst in yourself and others. Nothing I could ever say will change your mind and I’m done trying.”

  I was throwing up all of my defenses so nothing she’d say or do would penetrate. “Do you feel better blaming me for your betrayal?”

  Her shoulders slumped as the fight seemed to drain from her. “No, it’s sad. You’re sad. I loved you, Gabe,” she looked at me with pleading eyes, “and you’re being an idiot. You fucked up before and I took you back. I told you not to do it again. I have pride too, you know. I’m worth more than being accused of this.” She took a deep breath. “I’m worth more than you.”

  Those words were like a punch to the gut because that’s what I’d always believed deep down—she was better than me. I couldn’t stop my next words from coming out of my mouth. “Why did you look guilty when I asked you about it?”

  She looked resigned—like I probably did speaking to Ms. Glover. I’d determined Taylor was guilty before I’d walked in my office and I didn’t want to examine too closely why that was. “Because I do talk to family services for my job.”

  “Did you tell them about Zach?”

  She looked away.

  “You did, didn’t you?” I should have felt a surge of happiness that I was right but all I felt was defeated.

  “I asked for her advice, but I never mentioned any names.”

  “I don’t want to hear any more. You don’t know anything about how I grew up, how it is for people like Zach. You don’t go to family services; you don’t report your business to them.” Why hadn’t she listened? “It makes everything worse.”

  Both of us were quiet for a moment and then she asked, “What do you think happened? I talked to social services, named Zach as a person who needs assistance, and what, the family services lady talked to Lizzie, and—?”

  “What if Lizzie told her I was a predator like she did when we confronted her? She felt backed into a corner and retaliated with the worse thing she could think of. The one thing the social worker would have to investigate.”

  “Did she?” she asked quietly.

  “I don’t know. Ms. Glover wouldn’t tell me. All I know, is I never should have trusted you.”

  “We don’t even know what happened. I never mentioned Zach or Lizzie’s names so whatever happened, it wasn’t me.” When I remained silent, she added, “When you grow up, call me, okay?”

  She turned to walk away but stopped at the door. “Actually, don�
��t call me. I don’t want to hear from you.” She opened the door and walked through without looking back.

  I should have felt some relief that I now knew the truth, but I didn’t because I wasn’t sure what the truth was. I felt badly for how I had talked to her. How I’d accused her. How I’d barely let her get a word in. But the truth was she admitted talking to family services. Was I supposed to believe she hadn’t named Zach?

  Why did I want to run after her? Why did I want to soothe her? I dropped down onto the couch and rested my head in my hands. Her words ricocheted through my head: I never mentioned Zach or Lizzie’s names… so who had?

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  TAYLOR

  I walked out of Gabe’s office in a daze, weaving through the crowd of people, until I finally reached the hot and humid air outside. Every word out of Gabe’s mouth was a blow. I had a difficult time drawing a deep breath. My fingers shook as I tried to pull up the Uber app to summon a driver. All I could process was this need to escape—to get as far from Gabe as possible.

  After a few minutes, the door behind me opened.

  “He fucked up.” The gruff voice came from behind me. I turned to find Isaac leaning against the wall of the bar assessing me.

  “You could say that.” I turned back to the street, my shoulders tense, as I waited for my ride. White-hot rage coursed through my body as I replayed his accusations. How could he believe I’d do such a thing? The fact that I talked to the social worker but only in generic terms made me feel guilty, but I hadn’t technically done anything wrong. I hadn’t named names, offered addresses, nothing. There’s no way this came back to me. But I still felt slightly ill for saying anything to Angela. Had I betrayed him? Gabe’s sense of right and wrong, loyalty and betrayal, was a solid black line which I’d likely crossed.

  My phone buzzed with my mom’s name. Why was she calling so late at night? Unless— “Mom?” I asked in a panicked voice as I answered.

  Her stricken voice carried through the phone so loud I had to hold it away from my ear. “It’s Caleb. He got out. We can’t find him.”

  “How long ago?” I asked, desperate for the Uber driver to arrive.

  “Since this morning.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?” I knew I should stop. I shouldn’t be berating my mother when Caleb was still missing.

  “I didn’t know if you had any ideas where he might go. Did you used to take him anywhere special?”

  “I used to take him down to the harbor and we’d sit on one of the benches overlooking the water. He loved that but I can’t think of anywhere else. What can I do? Should I come home?” I wanted to search for the next flight home. Caleb needed me. My parents needed me. My first trial wasn’t for a few more weeks. No one would miss me. I could say it was a family emergency.

  “No. You have that new job. I’ll let you know when we find him. I love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  “Is everything okay?” Isaac moved to stand in front of me.

  I stiffened. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about what happened with Gabe. “Shouldn’t you be at the bar?”

  “Gabe took over so I could take a break.”

  I stiffened at Gabe’s name. I wasn’t far enough away from him. Not as far as I needed to be. “He’s not used to this—being in a relationship—trusting someone. There’s bound to be some hiccups,” Isaac said.

  I snorted. “It’s more than a hiccup.” He’d accused me of my worst fear—leaving Caleb behind because I was selfish. He’d accused me of replacing Caleb with Zach and it wasn’t far from worries I’d had myself. Had I come here for freedom—for a break from the responsibility of caring for Caleb, only to replace it with caring for Zach? And if so, why was I here? Shouldn’t I be in Maryland with Caleb?

  My phone buzzed with the notification that my Uber was here. Perfect timing. “I need to go.”

  Isaac’s hand gently grabbed my elbow. “I hope everything’s okay with your brother.”

  I stiffened even more. “What do you know about my brother?”

  “Gabe told me.”

  The irony wasn’t lost on me that Gabe was angry at me for divulging his secrets, but it was okay for him to talk about my brother to everyone. “Let me go.”

  “I wasn’t stopping you. Let me know if you need anything. You’ve done so much for Zach and Gabe I consider you a friend.”

  I looked up in surprise that he’d called me a friend.

  “Give him time, he’ll come around.”

  I nodded because there was nothing else to say. He would or he wouldn’t. The question was whether I’d be here if he came back. I opened the door to the car and got in. I didn’t look back. I didn’t want to know if Isaac was watching me with concerned eyes. I just wanted to escape—to be alone.

  When I arrived home, I curled up on my bed and let it all out. The fear over my brother, the guilt over leaving him, the pain of Gabe’s distrust and accusations. Why did I think I could come here and start over? I couldn’t shake Gabe’s words—you replaced Caleb with Zach. They played on an endless loop in my head. That’s exactly what I’d done, and Caleb was suffering for it.

  Caleb hadn’t left the house by himself in years. Not until I’d moved out. What if his regression was tied to me leaving? Suddenly cold despite the warmth of my apartment, I wrapped myself tightly in a blanket and closed my eyes. Caleb was comfortable when he was in his home with people familiar to him—his family—my parents and me. Why did I think he’d be okay with me leaving? Even though he couldn’t communicate, he was attached to me. I was a source of comfort for him. I needed to get home. To be with him. I’d figure out the rest later.

  After falling into a fitful sleep, the phone vibrating woke me early.

  “Mom?” I asked, not even looking at the screen.

  “Are you home?” My mom’s voice broke with tears.

  “Yes, is Caleb okay?” I was almost afraid to ask. My mom never broke down. She was the strong stoic one.

  Her voice broke as she tried to explain what happened. Dad said, “Taylor?

  My mind went to the worst-case scenario that Caleb had been seriously hurt or even killed. “It’s me.”

  “Caleb walked out into the street and was struck by a car.”

  Mom sobbed quietly in the background.

  “Is he okay?”

  “He’s with the doctors now. He has some broken bones, but we don’t know about head injuries, internal injuries. We just don’t know.” His voice was thick with unshed tears.

  “Don’t go there. Don’t think of the worst-case scenarios.” I wanted to calm them. “Which hospital are you at?”

  “University of Maryland Shock Trauma.”

  “I’m coming home. I’ll get on the first available flight.”

  “We’ll see you when you get here.” Then he hung up.

  I’d expected him to argue with me and the fact that he didn’t scared me even more. I bought the first available fare, packed a bag, and called an Uber to head to the airport. Gabe hadn’t left me any messages and there was no additional news from my parents.

  The flight was quiet so early in the morning. I put in earphones and tried to listen to music, but I couldn’t hear the notes or the words. I tried to quell the increasing panic about what was going on at home.

  When we finally landed in Baltimore, I took my phone off airplane mode and waited for the notifications to upload but none came. I quickly typed: I just landed at BWI. Taking a cab to the hospital. Tell me when you know something. Anything. The not knowing was unbearable.

  It was an expensive cab ride to Baltimore but I didn’t have anyone I could call for a ride. I had no friends here. No one I was close to, not like Hadley or Gabe. Gabe hadn’t bothered reaching out to me and after last night, we were nothing. Those words barely penetrated over the continuing theme that I’d failed Caleb in the worst, most selfish way.

  I stopped at the front desk to find out where my family was and headed to the waiting room. When
I entered the room, my dad’s arm was around my mom, who looked older and so much smaller than she had when I’d left. Dad’s eyes met mine and were filled with so much anguish. I dropped to my knees in front of them. “Have you heard anything?”

  “He’s in surgery. They had to remove his spleen. He has a broken arm, a possible concussion, some scrapes and cuts, but he’ll be okay,” Dad said.

  “I won’t be okay until my baby’s out of surgery,” Mom said.

  “He’ll be okay,” I assured her. Nothing would be okay. I was the one who was always able to calm Caleb the best. In the back of my mind, I’d always worried about what would happen if I moved out and now I knew. I never should have left.

  “Are you home for the weekend?” Dad asked.

  “As long as you need me.” I moved to sit next to them. I needed to contact my boss and tell him I wouldn’t be in on Monday and not for the foreseeable future. I didn’t want to quit but I didn’t have any leave saved since I’d just started. “I can take unpaid FMLA until Caleb’s better and then I’ll figure things out.”

  “What’s there to figure out?” Dad asked.

  I took a deep breath. “I think I want to come home.” There was nothing for me in New Orleans. Gabe didn’t trust me. He’d accused me of betraying him. I didn’t enjoy my job. My family needed me.

  Dad’s hand landed on my arm. “You just started this job. You have to go back.”

  I didn’t want him to see the guilt on my face because he’d know why I didn’t want to go back.

  “This isn’t your fault. You know that right?” Dad asked.

  I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head. Whose fault would it be? I was one of the most important people in Caleb’s life and I’d left. I was the constant in Caleb’s life who’d disappeared. He hadn’t understood why I’d left or where I’d gone. He was hurt because of me. He could have died. I couldn’t answer Dad because the tears I’d tried so hard to keep at bay were threatening again.