But the more she looked into it, the more she realized it would be a waste of money. She had experience, even if most of it was self-taught, so the beginning-level courses would probably bore her. But really, what was the point in learning more or getting a degree when her fate was to spend her life in the pub?
The day was warm and sunny and she tried to enjoy it, but all she could think about were all the things she wouldn’t be able to do because she had to go home. Maggie had promised to take her to the beach this summer. Moira had said she could tag along on some of the posh social events she covered as a journalist.
And then there was Tommy.
It felt like they had just gotten started, barely scratching the surface of a relationship. They’d been on dates and had slept together often. And she wanted more of it. Of all the things she could possibly miss in Chicago, Tommy topped the list.
Back at home, she took a nap and then showered and changed her clothes. She packed a bag to spend the night with Tommy. Right now, she didn’t care if it upset Aunt Eileen. She needed to spend as much time with Tommy as she could, so she would have warm memories to keep her company as she fended off the drunks in her family’s pub.
With her bag in hand, she left, grateful that Aunt Eileen wasn’t home to question her, and walked across the street to the O’Malley house. She and Tommy didn’t have official plans, but they had talked about spending time together.
She texted as she walked so he would know she was there. He met her at the front door. Following him through the living room, she saw Mr. O’Malley sitting on the couch.
“Hi, Mr. O’Malley. Good to see you again.”
“Yeah,” he answered with a wave of his hand.
When they were walking through the kitchen to the basement stairs, she asked, “What’s the story with your father?”
“How do you mean?”
“He just sits on the couch as far as I can see. I know you said he was a policeman, but he doesn’t seem to be enjoying his retirement.”
“He’s not. He got sick, and although his retirement wasn’t forced, it was strongly suggested. So he retired an angry man. Really, though, he’s always been gruff and cranky. Jimmy says he wasn’t always like that. I don’t have memories of him any other way. That’s just Dad.”
Tommy flipped on the light in his bedroom. “So I’ve been thinking about options.”
“For what?”
“To keep you here.”
She laughed because he was so sweet. And slightly delusional. “Culinary school won’t happen. Even if I could afford it—which I can’t—I’ve no use for it. Like I need to make some fancy pastries for the pub patrons?”
“I was thinking more that by the time you finished school, your family would be so used to you being gone, you wouldn’t have to go back at all. Then you could work wherever you wanted.”
It was quite a dream. But her family wouldn’t go for it. “Since I don’t currently have a school, I’d still be expected to go home. Once I’m back, there will be no leaving again, I’m sure.”
“I looked into coming with you.”
She stared at him, slack-jawed and speechless. “You would leave Chicago?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. I don’t like the thought of leaving my family, but not having you in my life is no better. I don’t know enough about Ireland or Ennis to know if I can go there and still be a tattoo artist.”
Deirdre sank down onto the bed. His whole life was here. Everything he loved: his family, his job, his hockey team. They were still a new couple. It made no sense for him to come to Ireland, even if they were falling for each other. Maybe they should try a long-distance relationship.
The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed them back. As much as she didn’t want to let him go, the thought of having him but not really having him was torture.
Instead, she said, “I can’t let you leave your family. And your job. And your team. We always knew I would be going back. Let’s enjoy the time we have left.” Her throat and eyes burned with tears, wanting to explode.
If she was like this now, what would she be like in two weeks when she actually had to say good-bye?
“So that’s it? ‘Hey, thanks for the good time. I’m out.’”
He was angry. She hadn’t seen that coming. She reached for his arm, trailing her fingers down to his hand. “You know it’s not like that. But I have to go.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I, but sometimes that’s the way life goes.” She stepped closer to his body and his arms naturally came around her. Desperate to change the subject, she asked, “Are you free some day this week? We never did make it to the art museum and I’d like to go.”
His hand rubbed up and down her back. “Yeah. I’ll make the time.”
Then he began to kiss her and touch her, and the rest of the world didn’t matter. In these moments, she and Tommy were the whole world.
Chapter Fifteen
Two days later, Tommy sat on the train with Deirdre on the way to the Art Institute. They’d spent most of their time in bed for the last couple of days, which was fine by him, but he knew Mrs. O’Leary would be looking for her soon. While he did everything he could to get his fill of her, he racked his brain to come up with a solution.
The only solution that he liked was one where she would stay here in Chicago.
“I love the train system here.”
“What?”
She shifted in her seat, turning away from the window. “I love it. The up and down. The underground, above ground, all on one trip.”
“The El is pretty cool, but I don’t have anything to compare it to. This is the only train I’ve ever been on.” The cars swayed and he listened to the sounds of the train. It was a sound he mostly ignored because he heard it all the time, but he recognized it as part of the soundtrack of his life. He’d grown up hopping the train to get around the city. He’d walked under the tracks while the train rattled overhead. The noise was usually an annoyance, especially if he was trying to have a conversation with someone, but at the same time, it was soothing.
“How do you get around at home?” he asked.
“Walking. Driving. I don’t leave my neighborhood much.”
He looked up at where they were. “It’s almost our stop.”
She took her purse from her lap and hung it on her shoulder. He took the strap and slid it over her head so it crossed her body. “Let’s not make you an easy target.”
They left the train and wove through the throngs of people on Michigan Avenue. He held Deirdre’s hand tightly as he searched past the crowds for an open space. By the time they got to the corner, the sidewalk opened up and they slowed their pace.
A breeze kicked up from the lake, whipping her hair around. She released his hand. “Hold on.” Reaching into her pocket, she dug for a rubber band. He didn’t think she ever left home without one. Turning her face to the wind, she scooped her hair and tied it back.
While her hands were occupied adjusting her ponytail, he swooped in and kissed her bare neck. When she swatted at him, he said, “Couldn’t help it. You gave me easy access.”
She tried to look irritated, but he saw the smile lurking. He put an arm around her shoulders and turned her toward the museum. They got in front of the lions and Tommy pulled out his phone. “Go stand by the lion.”
“Why?”
“It’s your first visit. It wouldn’t be complete without a picture with the lion. A rite of passage.”
She stood in front of the statue and he took the picture. Then she waved him over. “Let’s do one together.”
Their selfie looked off-kilter, but they were both smiling and laughing. He led her into the museum and handed her a map so she could check out the exhibits.
“What do you suggest?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Up to you. I usually wander around.”
“Then let’s wander.” She looped her arm through his.
; The only other person he’d ever come to the museum with was Kevin. His older brother had been the first to bring him here. Tommy had become interested in art and drawing. While their father had grumbled about it being a waste of time, Kevin had brought Tommy here to show him it didn’t have to be a waste of time.
He brought her up the staircase to the Impressionists. He liked to start there and move toward modern art. Today, though, he’d take her through the Chicago architecture display.
“How often do you come here?”
“Once or twice a year, unless there’s a special exhibit I want to see.”
“So it’s not your date place to impress the ladies?”
“No.” The women he dated didn’t see this side of him. The only art they saw were his tattoos. “Most chicks aren’t impressed by a guy in a museum.”
“You underestimate the appeal. It shows that you’re cultured.”
He laughed louder than he’d planned, and people turned to look at him. “So much for being cultured.”
She patted his arm, which she was still holding on to. “You can work on it.”
“The only woman I need to impress is you.”
Tugging him so she could stretch up to whisper in his ear, she said, “You don’t need to impress me. You already know you’ll get me in your bed.”
“I want you everywhere, Cupcake. Maybe if I show you how fabulous Chicago is, you’ll agree to stay.”
She sighed. “Didn’t we decide to enjoy our time without talking about my family?”
“I’m not talking about your family. I’m trying to convince you to ignore them. See what happens. Really, what will they do, hunt you down?”
She smiled. “No. But they need me at home. My parents are working less and less. In truth, the only reason I was able to get away at all was because Rory was covering for me.”
The sound of her ex’s name still grated on Tommy’s nerves. “I’m not ready for you to leave.”
“I don’t see a way I can stay.”
They turned the corner and went across the hall to the modern art exhibit. “This is my favorite section of the museum.”
“Why? It looks more like cartoons and comics than the other art.”
“It’s all of it. The use of color, the relatability. I mean, I could’ve done this.” He pointed at a Warhol painting. He led her to a bench and they sat. “When I first got interested in art, I was using spray paint and drawing on walls. My older brother Kevin—you haven’t met him yet—caught me. Of course, I was happy it wasn’t Jimmy because he probably would’ve skinned me. Kevin bought me a sketch pad and brought me here.”
Tommy pointed at the walls. “He told me that if I wanted to be an artist, I should do it right.”
Deirdre rested her head on his shoulder. “Tell me about your favorites. Which did you copy? Which taught you the most?”
They sat like that while he told her about how he came to love art. Then they moved through other rooms. Sometimes they were silly, making ridiculous commentary about the meaning of an abstract painting. Other times, they stood in awe of a depiction, emotion striking deep.
As if Tommy hadn’t already figured out how deep he was in with Deirdre, today would’ve sealed the deal. He never put stock into anything like soul mates or a one true love, but if it existed, he believed Deirdre would be it for him.
And that meant he had to do anything to keep her.
* * *
Deirdre loved every moment of her day with Tommy, and it broke her heart to think that they only had a few left. She could kick herself for wasting so much time early on. They were in his bedroom, the only light the blue glow from the TV showing some movie she wasn’t interested in. They’d just finished devouring the pizza they’d ordered. Pizza appeared to be Tommy’s go-to meal.
Stretched out beside him, she cuddled into his side.
“You’re spending the night again?”
“I’d like to.”
“What does your aunt say about it?”
“I didn’t ask. I believe it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission. And as an adult, I don’t think I should have to ask for either.” She wrapped her arm around his middle and threw her leg over his. Her head lay on his chest. She couldn’t seem to get close enough.
“If you’re staying, I think we both have too many clothes on.”
“I didn’t think we were going to bed yet.”
“Technically, we’re already in bed, but I didn’t suggest sleep, just nakedness.”
She pushed up with a sigh, as if getting naked with him were a chore. Keeping her head down so he wouldn’t see her smile, she undid the top button of her blouse.
“Wait.” His hand stilled on hers. “Let me.”
His voice was quiet and serious, causing her to look up to meet his gaze. Normally, he was playful and fun in bed, at least initially. She usually only saw this serious side to him when he was inside her.
She let her hands drop away. He rose up on his knees so they were nearly chest to chest. His finger grazed her collar and found its way down to the row of buttons. After he undid two more, his lips followed his hands as the material gaped, exposing her to him.
He sucked on her neck as he slid the blouse from her body. Her blood raced, and a shiver skated down her spine. She reached for him to hurry him along, but he would have none of it. He knocked her hands back with a smirk.
“I’ll get there.”
“As usual, though, I’m missing much more clothing than you.”
He reached over his head and pulled his T-shirt off. Then he returned to removing her clothes. He kissed his way along every inch of skin he exposed, which riled her up nearly to a frenzy.
Lying on her back, she raised her hips so he could take off her panties, sure at that point he’d move faster. He’d see how turned on she was, ready for him. Instead he traced his fingers down her legs. When he came back up, he followed the path with his tongue.
She moaned and spread her thighs, inviting him in. While she loved every orgasm she had with Tommy, the ones he offered with his tongue were by far the best.
And he knew it. Or so the grin on his face told her as he lay between her legs and settled in. The first swipe of his tongue startled her, even though she’d known it was coming. He followed with a deep kiss, pulling her into his mouth, warm and wet.
Deirdre threw her head back and forced air into her lungs. Within seconds, he drove her wild. Tommy made her feel lustful and wanton, everything she had been raised not to be, but he assured her that he loved it. Mostly, she loved who she was with him.
Her mind swirled, and she was vaguely aware of her arms coming around him as she came back to normal. Her breathing regulated, her heart slowed, and her bones were noodles.
“I think I might miss that most of all in Ireland,” she said as she stroked his hair.
“Don’t.” His harsh whisper took her by surprise. She looked down at him, but he was already reaching for a condom.
She didn’t need to ask what. He’d made it plenty clear that he didn’t want to talk about her leaving. He rose up over her and eased into her in one long, fluid movement, causing her eyes to roll back in her head. As moments went, that would be another she’d miss.
“Stay with me,” he whispered gently, his hand on her cheek.
She opened her lids and stared into his steely blue eyes. “I’m right here.”
He drove into her at a pace so slow, it was torture. She had no idea how he made himself last, but he was straining even as her nerves tightened and coiled, sparking each time his body made contact with hers. He thrust deep, braced on his forearms on either side of her head, and lowered his mouth to kiss her long and deep.
When he lifted his head, he said, “Marry me.”
Her eyes fluttered. Was she hearing things? She swallowed and blinked.
Tommy steadied above her. “Did you hear me?”
“What?”
“I said, marry me.”
“Have you lost
your mind?”
He pulled out and sank deep again, stealing her breath.
“I might lose my mind if you leave me. If we get married, you can stay here and your family couldn’t say anything about it.”
This was it. Hormones and sex had finally clouded his intelligence to the point that he wasn’t able to think. He had lost his head and wasn’t even aware.
“I’m serious, Deirdre.”
The use of her name caught her by surprise. He hardly used her given name. “We can’t.”
Her throat closed and she inhaled through her nose to keep breathing.
“Yes, we can. You don’t want to go. I don’t want you to leave. Stay.” He thrust harder, deeper. He grabbed her thigh and wrapped it higher on his hip. Lowering his mouth to her ear, he said, “Stay with me.”
Then he pushed them both over the edge.
The world came back into focus. Tommy lay on top of her, breathing heavily. Their limbs were still entwined, and she hesitated to let him go because then they would have to face his outburst. It could ruin the last week they had together, and that would surely crush her.
He moved her leg down and pulled away from her to dispose of the condom. She felt as lost and inept as she had the first time they’d slept together, unsure of what she should do next.
He climbed back on the mattress, intentionally bouncing to get her attention. “That wasn’t some random bullshit. I meant it. I think we should get married.”
“That’s it then.” She sat up and looked for some clothes. She couldn’t fight with him naked. “You’re crazy. We can’t get married. We barely know each other.”
She slid her arms through her shirt and buttoned it haphazardly. Tommy, on the other hand, stretched out on the bed, naked as a jay, and simply crossed his arms.
“Don’t see why you’re bothering with clothes. They’ll just be coming off again.”
“I can’t fight with you naked.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t think like that.” His body flustered her every time she looked at him, so she tossed his underwear in his direction.
Through Your Eyes Page 20