“I think it’s in my best interest to stay naked if you’re having a hard time focusing. I’ll win this useless argument.”
“It’s not useless,” she said as she stepped into her panties.
“It is. Getting married solves our problem.”
“It’s not our problem. It’s mine. It’s my family who needs me home. I can’t just ignore that.”
His eyes sparked with anger. “This is our problem because I don’t want you to fucking go. Can’t you understand that?”
At the sight of the pain on his face, she lost every reason she might’ve had for leaving. Hurting him had never crossed her mind and now her heart hurt. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t be fucking sorry.”
“I never wanted to hurt you. I never considered . . .”
“Neither of us considered this a possibility. I’m not mad at you.” He took her hand and smiled. “I’ll be mad if you keep saying no, though.”
“Tommy, we can’t just get married.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’d be married.” How could she explain what that meant? It wasn’t a joke or a game. Not to her.
He tugged her back to sit on the bed. “I know. It’s a huge step. And we’re not following the plan most people do.”
She laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. They had no plan.
“I’m willing to take the chance. I think we can work, Cupcake.”
“We’ve barely known each other for a couple of months.”
“My parents knew each other for weeks before they were engaged.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but in fact that had been the way with her parents as well.
He took her hesitation as a reason to pounce. He literally leapt forward, pushing her back. “We’ll figure out how to make it work. You can stay here and do what you want with your life.”
Such a promise lured her in. Staring into his beautiful face, she couldn’t imagine wanting to wake next to any other.
But you would’ve said the same of Rory a mere month ago.
Tears threatened again as she looked into his hopeful expression. “What happens if it doesn’t work out, Tommy? I believe marriage is forever. It’s not an experiment.”
His palm caressed her jaw. “I’m not experimenting. I’m sure.”
His hopeful look turned to one of determination, and it sent a thrill through her. When had anyone been so sure of wanting her?
* * *
Tommy held his breath. This was the last idea he had. Sure, it might sound a little crazy, but he loved her. She wasn’t as sure about her feelings, and he saw that. Her ex had fucked with her ability to trust her instincts, but it didn’t matter. She cared about him and that would be enough.
Everything else would come.
“You’re killing me here, Cupcake.”
“I’m thinking.”
“Not of another argument, I hope.”
“Yes. We need to look at the whole picture.”
He started unbuttoning her shirt again. “You need to lose the clothes for me to see the whole picture.”
She slapped his hand, but smiled. “I’m serious.”
“So am I. This is a good idea.”
“It’s the opposite of a good idea.”
He reined in his anger because he knew it would fuel her argument. How could he make her see this was their only way to be together?
“I don’t want to lose you. If you want me to pack my stuff and leave with you, say the word.”
She closed her eyes again, like she couldn’t bear to look at him. “We’ve been over this.”
“Yeah, my life is here and I like my life, but I like you more.” He stroked her face until she reopened her eyes. “I’m falling in love with you.”
The pale blue of her irises brightened as her eyes filled. Her lips wobbled. She wanted to say yes. He knew she did.
“Marry me.”
“Do you think there’s a magic number of times to say it to get the answer you want?”
“Not sure, but I’m willing to find out. Marry—”
Her hand covered his mouth. “Yes,” she whispered.
Tommy froze, thinking he must’ve misheard. Her fingers slipped away. “Yes?”
She nodded. “If you’re sure.”
“I am. Let’s do this.”
“How? When?”
“Shit. I don’t know.” He hadn’t looked into getting married. He only knew that if they got married, she would get to stay.
He rolled over on the bed and grabbed his phone. “We need a marriage license.”
“Wait. Is this even legal?”
“Getting married? Why wouldn’t it be?” He opened the browser on his phone. Beside him, he knew Deirdre was starting to fret. Weird word to think of, but it fit. The only person he knew who worried more than her was Jimmy.
Jimmy. Jimmy could probably answer his questions.
But then he’d try to talk him out of it. No. It would be best if they did this on their own and then told everyone.
“We need to get the license at least a day before we get married. Damn. I assume you have your passport, but according to this, you need a birth certificate too. I don’t suppose you have it?”
He looked over at where she sat, twisting her hands in her lap. “Actually, I do. I fought with my mother before leaving and the thought of coming here for school sounded like a splendid idea. I brought it as an extra form of identification.”
“You never told me that.”
“That I have my birth certificate?”
“No. That you thought about going to school here. When I brought it up, you acted like it was a stupid idea.”
“Not stupid. But my thought when I left was one of a child throwing a tantrum. I don’t even recall what I fought with my mother about. It was a fit of ‘I’ll show her.’ By the time I stepped off the plane here, I knew I wouldn’t even get around to applying.”
“Who says temper tantrums are useless? Just saved us a bunch of headaches. We can go tomorrow to get the license.”
“Then what?”
“Then we can go to the courthouse and get married the next day.” He paused and set his phone down. He’d never given much thought to where or how he’d get married, but he bet she had. “Is that okay with you? You probably want a big wedding in a church, right?”
When she didn’t immediately answer, he thought she might change her mind. “We need to move fast if you don’t want to go back. But then we can set a date for later, maybe next year when your family’s not pissed off anymore and we can do the real wedding.”
“I know you probably think it’s silly. And while I don’t follow every doctrine the church has, I do firmly believe in being married in the eyes of God.”
“Can we do the legal marriage now and the religious one later?” He searched her face to understand where her thoughts were.
“I don’t think the church or God would be okay with us getting married so I could stay here.”
His shoulders sagged. Just when he thought they were on the same page.
“But as I said, I don’t follow every rule. Otherwise, I certainly wouldn’t be sitting in your bed half naked and fully sated. I think the Lord would forgive us as long as we make it right.”
Tommy pulled her close. “I’ll make everything as right for you as I can, Cupcake.”
He meant every word of what he said. She might think he was rushing into this marriage, but he knew what he felt. He could see himself building a life with her.
Chapter Sixteen
Deirdre walked around in a daze for the next three days. She and Tommy had decided that they wouldn’t tell anyone they were getting married, so that meant they had to wait until he had a day off work. They had gone downtown and applied for the license, which had been almost too easy. The beleaguered woman behind the counter had taken their paperwork, glanced at their identification, and issued the license.
She still had many doubts and
spent Sunday morning in church seeking guidance, but her mind kept wandering to waking in Tommy’s arms every morning, which led her to think of him naked and having sex with him. Which were not churchlike thoughts, so she knelt and prayed the Rosary in lieu of confessing those sins to the priest.
Aunt Eileen was quiet on their walk home. Deirdre followed beside her, feeling guilty because she knew her impending marriage would cause problems for Eileen.
“Una tells me you’re to come home early.”
The way she made the statement required a response, but Deirdre didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to add lying to her list of offenses. “They’re demanding I do because they fired Rory.”
Eileen clucked her tongue, but Deirdre didn’t know if it was directed at her or her family.
“I don’t want to go. I’m not ready to leave yet.”
Eileen shot her a look with a lifted brow. “This because of the O’Malley boy?”
Deirdre nodded.
Eileen shook her head. “I wish I knew where those boys got their charm. It’s nearly a sin the way they get a hold of a woman’s senses.”
Deirdre laughed as they turned the corner toward the house. “The O’Leary men are no slouches in the charm department. Maggie has shared plenty of stories.”
“But with my boys, I could look at them and know they got their appeal from Patrick. Seamus O’Malley has the charm of a rock.”
Deirdre burst out with a loud laugh and slapped a hand over her mouth. “Aunt Eileen. You just came from church.”
“And I speak the truth.” Eileen pulled out her keys as they climbed the steps.
Deirdre glanced across the street.
Without turning around, Eileen asked, “Going to Tommy’s again? Will you be home for supper later or spending the night there?”
It was eerie how she did that. Deirdre guessed it was being the mother of six that had given Eileen the ability to know things without having to see them.
“Um . . .” Of course she wanted to go see Tommy and spend the night with him.
After opening the door, Eileen faced her. “I may not like Seamus O’Malley, but I see how happy you are when you’re with his son. I’m sorry your family is pushing you to return home early. I’m also not a silly old woman who thinks you’re over there in the middle of the night to play bridge.”
Deirdre felt the blush rise in her cheeks. This was an odd conversation to have with her aunt.
Eileen took a few steps closer and folded her hands in front of her. “You’ve always been a quiet one. I’ll never understand how you’ve survived. Probably because you simply let your brothers run over you.” She sighed. “If I could give you half of Moira’s attitude and independence, we’d all be the better for it. That girl is relentless in going after what she wants.”
It might not have been explicit permission, but Deirdre rushed forward and hugged Eileen. Her aunt softened in her embrace, even though Deirdre knew she wasn’t much for hugging. “Thank you, Aunt Eileen.”
When she released her, Deirdre moved toward the door.
“Aren’t you going across the street?”
Deirdre looked at the O’Malley house. She had plenty of time to be with Tommy, but Eileen didn’t know that. “I have time for tea with my favorite aunt.”
That earned her a quiet laugh from Eileen.
* * *
Monday morning, Deirdre stood in the courthouse waiting for Tommy to arrive so they could say their vows in front of a judge. She still didn’t understand why they hadn’t arrived together. He’d simply said that he had errands to run beforehand. How could he possibly think of errands when they were about to change their lives irrevocably?
She sat on the hardwood bench and watched as people walked by. She wondered what each of them had come to the courthouse for. Were they criminals? Lawyers? People getting married?
The couples were easy to spot, though, because they held hands and snuggled close while waiting. She felt ridiculous not having someone’s hand to hold among all these people. She played with the hem on the new dress she’d purchased. It was far from bridal, but it was white.
Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder and Tommy was at her side. He held out a bouquet of flowers, a riot of color in his hands. “I know we’re not doing the traditional thing here, but I figured you should have flowers.”
Standing, she took the flowers and kissed his cheek. He was so thoughtful. “Thank you.”
He held her hand and took a step back, eyeing her up and down. “You look amazing.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Mr. O’Malley.” He wore dark jeans and a black, collarless button-down shirt. His tattoos were all hidden from view, making him appear younger than he was.
A woman to his left stepped forward. “Hi. I’m Karla.” She thrust a hand in front of Deirdre. She had short, spiky purplish hair and piercings in her ears, eyebrow, lip, and nose.
Deirdre took Karla’s hand, but looked to Tommy for explanation.
“I work with Karla. She’s our piercer.”
Deirdre widened her eyes as if to ask why Karla was at their ceremony.
“Oh, uh, I asked Karla to come be our witness. She’s a friend, so I thought it would be better than asking a stranger. Plus, she can take pictures.” He shrugged.
“Nice to meet you, Karla. Thanks for coming.” Deirdre hadn’t thought about having a witness. She’d wanted to ask Maggie to come, but like Tommy, she’d feared family would try to talk them out of this.
“No problem. I didn’t believe Tommy was serious. I figured we’d get here and he’d be all like, ‘Gotcha.’ For real, I just recently found out he had a girlfriend, so I had no idea you guys were serious enough to marry.”
As Karla rambled, Tommy put his arm around Deirdre. Doubts crept in. Karla was right. They hadn’t been together all that long. In fact, they hadn’t spent any time around each other’s friends or family. Other than the hockey team, of course, and passing by Mr. O’Malley as they walked through the house.
How would they ever convince everyone this was for real?
But it’s not. Not really.
Deirdre pushed the voice back. Did it matter if it was real? Her heart said yes, but her mind disagreed. This might not be true love, but Tommy cared about her enough to marry her in order to help her stay here. She hoped it was enough.
“You okay?” he asked.
She pasted on a smile and said to Karla, “Would you excuse us for a moment?”
Then she pulled Tommy a few steps away. “Why are we doing this?” She stopped, shook her head, and revised. “No. I know why I’m doing this. Why are you?”
He held her jaw and stared deep into her eyes. “I care about you. I want you to be happy. You might not be happy with me forever, but you are for now. And if that buys you the time you need to figure out your life and your family, I’m cool with it.”
Her heart jumped and swelled as he spoke. If nothing else, at least she had honesty with Tommy. Hopefully, she could get used to the idea that marriage didn’t have to be forever unless it was meant to be.
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.” He took her hand and steered them toward the courtroom door. “Now let’s get hitched.”
The ceremony lasted all of ten minutes. The judge didn’t seem too concerned with their level of love or commitment, but Karla managed to cheer and laugh as she snapped photos of them.
In yet another surprising move, Tommy pulled a ring from his pocket to slip on her finger. She stared at the simple, glittering gold band and immediately felt guilty for not having a ring for him. Why had she not thought of it?
He smiled at her lack of preparation and pulled a silver ring from his finger and handed it to her to slide on as a wedding band.
When they were announced husband and wife, Tommy held her face and kissed her. Her knees were weak long before he finished. They were being ushered out, and Deirdre realized she held little me
mory of the entire ceremony.
Tommy had held her hand and they’d spoken quietly to each other, but it hurt not having her family there to see her get married.
“Still good?” Tommy asked as they walked back down the aisle of the small courtroom.
She nodded. “I feel simply horrible not having a ring for you.”
“No big deal. It’s not like we did a bunch of planning.”
“But you got me a ring. Which is beautiful, by the way.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “I figured simple would be better, so it wouldn’t get in the way when you’re baking.”
“How did I ever get so lucky to have such a thoughtful husband?”
Karla thumped Tommy on the back. “I have to get to work. Here’s your phone. Hope the pics turn out okay.” She grabbed Deirdre in a hug and said, “Congrats! You’re a lucky girl.”
Then she spun and took off down the hall to the exit. When Karla was gone, Deirdre turned to Tommy. “Now what?”
“Now we break the news to our families. How do you want to do that?”
She blew out a heavy breath as her stomach threatened to tie itself up again. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to call my family at home, but Eileen . . . I wish I could get away with calling her.”
“Do you want me to tell her with you?”
More than anything. But this was her mess. “No. You should tell your family, and I’ll tell mine.”
As they walked out of the courthouse, another thought occurred to her. “What then?”
“What do you mean?”
“Where will we live? What do we do?”
“For now, you’ll move into my house.”
“Eileen has plenty of room. And your house is already pretty full.” The thought of sharing a house with so many people reminded her of being at home.
“Something tells me that I’ll be safer at my house than hers. I’m being totally selfish and thinking of my personal safety. I do want to have kids someday. Mrs. O’Leary might attempt to take away that ability.”
Deirdre laughed even though she knew Tommy was mostly serious. When they reached his car, she asked, “Would you like me to be with you when you tell your family?”
“Nah. I don’t think you want to hear the yelling. Jimmy is definitely going to yell.”
Through Your Eyes Page 21