Through Your Eyes

by Shannyn Schroeder

  Now her stomach did twist up.

  “Hey, now.” Tommy slid a hand around her waist. “It’ll be fine. We’re both adults. We can do whatever we want. They’ll all get over it.”

  With his body pressed tightly to hers, and his eyes focused solely on her, she wanted to believe it would all be that easy. She forced the corners of her mouth up into something she hoped resembled a smile. “Okay.”

  Tommy drove them through the city. “Since it’s still early, I know my family won’t be around—except my dad. Do you want to go have lunch or something? We can strategize how to tell them.” He reached over and held her hand again. “Maybe we can slip in our first quickie as a married couple.”

  She scoffed. “What? Just because you slipped a ring on my finger you think you can slack off in the bedroom? I think not.”

  They both laughed, relieving much of the tension they’d been trying to ignore. If they could just get through tonight, tomorrow was sure to be better.

  * * *

  Deirdre walked into the kitchen, where she heard the kettle whistling. She had to just get this over with. “Aunt Eileen, I need to speak with you.”

  Her aunt turned from the stove with her tea in hand.

  “You need to sit down.”

  “Goodness. My children rarely start a good conversation in such a manner.” She sank into the chair.

  Eileen’s words comparing Deirdre to one of her own children offered hope. Deirdre licked her lips. Face-to-face was more difficult than she’d thought. She twisted her hands in front of her. There was no easing into this. “Tommy and I got married this morning.”

  Eileen sat and stared at her for a full minute. Deirdre swallowed hard.

  Finally, Eileen said, “You said married?”

  “Yes.” She held up her hand to show the ring.

  Covering her mouth with her hand, Eileen shook her head. Another minute passed of Deirdre fidgeting and Eileen staring. Deirdre wished she’d say something.

  “Why would you do such a thing?”

  Deirdre opened her mouth and suddenly realized that she hadn’t prepared to answer that question. She’d been so focused on the possible anger over the marriage she’d never considered that anyone would ask why.

  “Why does anyone get married?”

  “That’s certainly a convenient answer, isn’t it? You should pack your bags and leave then.” Eileen spoke with her usual crispness, but Deirdre knew there was anger simmering.

  Deirdre nodded and turned toward the stairs. One thing she could count on with her family was the lack of hysterics. She checked the time and decided now was as good a time as any to call Ireland. With her suitcase open on the bed, she called her mother.

  “Deirdre, what are you calling so late for?”

  And hello to you, too, Mom. “I need to talk to you.” Deirdre began putting clothes in her bag to give her hands something to do.

  “Well?”

  “I won’t be coming home.”

  “Don’t be silly. Of course, you’ll be coming home.”

  “No. I’ve met someone and . . .” This was harder than she’d thought it would be.

  “What are you going on about? This boy Eileen told me about?”

  “Mom, I think you should sit.”

  “Oh, my Lord. You’ve gotten yourself pregnant.”

  Deirdre could see her mother making the sign of the cross as she sat. “No. I’m not pregnant. But I am married.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I got married this morning, Mom.”

  Silence hung between them, and Deirdre had no idea what her mother was thinking. Deirdre continued to pack her things, trying not to be hurt by Eileen’s curt response. She’d obviously planned to leave Eileen’s house anyway.

  “Mom?”

  “What do you want me to say, Deirdre? That I’m happy for you? That I have no problem with you marrying a stranger without so much as inviting your family?”

  “Mom—”

  “Good-bye, Deirdre. Good luck with your new life.” Her mother’s voice was thick.

  Deirdre continued to grip the phone long after her mother disconnected. She’d expected anger but hadn’t considered the hurt she’d be inflicting on her family. Tossing the phone on the bed, she sat and tried to control her own emotions. Fear that she’d made a colossal mistake crept back in.

  Her phone rang again and she picked it up. Brendan. While she didn’t want to speak to him, she knew avoiding him would only make it worse. “Hello.”

  “What have you gone and done?”

  Why did her family never greet her on the phone? “I got married.”

  “Why the hell did you go and do that? Was the thought of coming home to us so very awful?”

  “I’m happy here, Brendan.”

  “Mom is beside herself. How selfish of you to do this to her. Her only daughter and you didn’t think she’d want to be part of this?”

  Of course Deirdre knew her mother would want to be part of her wedding. “We plan to have a church ceremony later, when everyone can join us.”

  “Why rush it now then?”

  “We both know that if I came home like you all expected, I’d never make it back here.” The thought sank into her and twisted in her gut. As much as she hadn’t wanted to hurt her family, the thought of never seeing Tommy again was worse. That knowledge slammed into her and made her dizzy.

  “Ah, Deirdre. What were you thinking?”

  At the moment, she had no idea. What had started as a simple plan to allow her to escape the expectations of her family had turned into something else, something with Tommy. It scared the words from her mind.

  “Deirdre?”

  She finally forced her mouth to work. “I didn’t get married to hurt any of you. Yes, it was selfish on my part, but I deserve some happiness. Don’t I, Brendan?”

  “And you’re telling me this bloke makes you happy?”

  “Yes.” At least nothing here required her to lie.

  “Well, then. Not much for me to say, is there?”

  “Give everyone my love.”

  “You should call and give it yourself.”

  “I will. I just think they’ll need some time. You know?”

  His sigh whistled through the phone. “When will you come home?”

  “This’ll be my home now.” Surprisingly, that part was difficult to say. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Probably not until Dad promises not to kill Tommy.”

  Brendan laughed. “He’ll have to get in line. The boy has some answering to do for taking our girl.”

  “I love you, Brendan.”

  “I love you too, girl. You should’ve talked to us first.”

  “Probably. But you would’ve tried to talk me out of it. I wasn’t happy there, Brendan. And now, with Rory . . .”

  “I know.”

  His simple response was more than she’d expected. Of course, Brendan would understand. He paid attention to everything. “You shouldn’t have fired him. He’s the best employee you’ve ever had. And really? Because he’s gay? Come now.”

  “I didn’t fire him for being gay. I fired him for stringing you along. Hurting my little sister doesn’t go unnoticed.”

  “I know. While I appreciate it, Rory and I are friends. Still. Yes, I was hurt, but sometimes you hurt people you care about. Forgiveness is a good thing.” She tossed the last of her things into her bag. “Call him.”

  “I might.”

  They disconnected, and Deirdre wasn’t sure what to do. The sun was easing low in the sky, and when she looked out the window, she saw the extra cars parked in front of the O’Malley house. How much time would Tommy need?

  She sat on the bed and stared out the window, anxiously awaiting word from him.

  * * *

  Tommy wanted a beer but didn’t think it would be a good idea to introduce alcohol into this conversation. Kevin and Sean were already here, sitting in the living room with their dad, watching a Blackhawks game. Norah was
up in her room, so they were just waiting for Jimmy.

  When he heard the front door open, his stomach dropped. He told himself this would be the hardest part. Once they were done yelling and screaming at him, they’d come around. That was the good thing about the O’Malleys: they always had each other’s backs.

  “Hey, Tommy,” Sean called from the couch. “Gang’s all here.”

  He took a deep breath and yelled for Norah to come down. When the entire family was assembled, including Moira, who sat at Jimmy’s side, Tommy cleared his throat. “I have an announcement.”

  He tried not to look at Moira. He had no idea if Deirdre had already told her family or if Moira had heard anything. All eyes in the room were on him. “This morning, I got married.”

  Sean and Kevin burst out laughing. Jimmy shifted in his chair and looked at Moira, who shrugged.

  When Tommy didn’t join in the laughter, Sean sobered. “You’re serious?”

  “Yep. Deirdre and I went to the courthouse this morning and made it official.”

  “Holy shit,” Moira said, eyes wide.

  “Deirdre,” Jimmy said. “From Ireland.”

  Yeah, he was pissed. Tommy nodded.

  “What the fuck are you thinking?”

  “Thanks for your support. It means so much.”

  Moira laid a hand on Jimmy’s arm. “Why the rush, Tommy?”

  Tommy crossed his arms. “Her family was pressuring—no, demanding—that she come back to Ireland now. She didn’t want to go, and I wanted her to stay.”

  “Stupid shit.”

  “I get that you’re pissed, Jimmy. Knew you would be. But I’m not stupid. I know what I’m doing.”

  Jimmy rose and took a step. “Really? Did you think about the laws you’re breaking by marrying her so she can get a green card? Don’t you think immigration will be all over your shit for marrying some chick you’ve known for a month?”

  Of course, Tommy and Deirdre hadn’t considered that. He didn’t care. “People get married in less time. And lots do it just for the green card. I care about her. I want her in my life.”

  Jimmy was so upset, Tommy was sure steam would start whistling from his head.

  Tommy looked to his other siblings. Kevin sat on the edge of the couch, mouth hanging open. Tommy couldn’t ever remember Kevin being speechless.

  Sean smiled. “Dude, there are easier ways to get laid.”

  “This isn’t about sex, and you know it.”

  He stood. “Yeah, I know.” He thumped Tommy’s shoulder. “Congrats, I guess. I’m feeling cheated that we didn’t get a bachelor party out of this.”

  Tommy turned back to face Jimmy, whose face was like granite. He opened his mouth to defend his decisions again, but then Norah was standing between them. She took Tommy’s hand.

  “Do you love her?”

  Tommy couldn’t lie to her. “I think so. I know I care about her. A lot. I can’t imagine her not being in my life, and she was going to leave.”

  “So you let her go.” Jimmy practically growled.

  Norah turned. “No, Jimmy. You know what it’s like. You taught all of us to go after what we want in life. He wants Deirdre.”

  “Speaking of which,” Moira interrupted, “I think I’ll go across the street and see how things are going.” She kissed Jimmy’s cheek. “Deep breaths,” she murmured.

  Moira slipped out the front door, and Jimmy pointed at Kevin and Dad. “Either of you have anything to say?”

  “Leave the boy,” their dad said.

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” Jimmy answered.

  Seamus shoved up from the couch. “He’s grown and can make his own decisions, no different from the rest of you. Weren’t you the one last year barking at the rest of us to let Norah run her life? Tommy’s older. He’s made a decision.” He looked at Tommy. “Even if it was a piss-poor one. It’s his to make.”

  Mixed support was better than nothing. And he had Norah and Sean on his side.

  Kevin leaned back on the couch and looked up at the lot of them.

  “No smart-ass comments from you?” Tommy asked.

  “Nope. Just a question.”

  Tommy opened his arms and waited for the question.

  “Are you happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “You could’ve been happy waiting and planning and going through the right channels,” Jimmy added. “This is going to be a problem.”

  “No, it’s not. So what if immigration shows up to ask a bunch of questions. She didn’t come here to figure out how to get a green card. This was my idea.”

  Jimmy lost steam.

  “You must be getting old,” Tommy said. “I figured I’d have at least one slap to the back of the head.”

  “If I thought it would do any good, you would’ve gotten a few. But Dad’s right. It’s your mistake. I just hope it’s not one that’ll land you in jail.”

  Jimmy was trying to scare him. He’d been doing that all their lives.

  “We’ll handle it.”

  “Are we gonna drink to celebrate or what? What kind of wedding happens with no celebration?” Seamus shuffled to the kitchen. “Kevin, help me get some drinks.”

  Kevin stood, and Jimmy told him, “Don’t let him have more than one.”

  Kevin nodded.

  “We good?” Tommy asked Jimmy.

  “We will be. When I’m done being pissed that you went behind my back to do this. You should’ve come to me.”

  “You would’ve tried to stop us.”

  “Damn right.”

  Norah hooked her arms through each of theirs. “Ah, Jimmy, you should know by now that you can’t control us. You can push and prod forever, but we’ll still do whatever we want.”

  She turned them toward the dining room, where Kevin was setting bottles of beer on the table.

  Seamus returned, carrying his own bottle. “Guess this means she’ll be moving in then?”

  Tommy ducked his head. “If that’s okay. If not, we’ll find something.”

  Sean groaned. “Dude, the basement’s not that big.”

  “It’s not like she owns anything. She was just supposed to be visiting.” Another thing they hadn’t thought through. “Give us a month or so and we’ll get our own place.”

  “No hurry,” Seamus said. He raised his bottle. “I like having my family under my roof. Congratulations. I never would’ve thought my youngest boy would be the first to get married.”

  “I don’t think a sham of a marriage counts,” Jimmy said.

  Tommy stiffened. “It’s not a sham.”

  “Right.”

  Sean put a beer in Jimmy’s hand. “Ease up. What’s done is done.” Then he raised his bottle. “To my little brother. I hope you find happiness and love and a great apartment.”

  Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. Someone else moving into the house had been Sean’s concern when Jimmy had said he and Moira were moving in together. It made no sense, really, since Sean was rarely at home, especially now that he had Emma.

  “Thanks.” He took a drink from the bottle to be polite, but he wasn’t in the mood to drink. He was too worried about Deirdre and how things were going for her.

  Jimmy set his bottle back on the table without drinking. “I’m not drinking to this. You’re fucking up your life and I won’t be part of it.”

  That was it. Tommy was done listening to Jimmy’s shit. They both needed space.

  “See you around then.” Tommy set his own bottle down and left the room.

  He’d known Jimmy would get angry, mostly because Jimmy didn’t like not having control over all of them. But he had gotten better over the last year or so. He’d let Norah make her own choices when she was pregnant. Jimmy had sat by and offered support. Why didn’t he give Tommy the same?

  When he got to his room, Tommy sat on his bed and texted Deirdre. How’d it go?

  Her response was almost immediate. Not great. Can I come over?

  Absolutely. But come to the back door. Ji
mmy’s being a dick.

  She didn’t answer, so he assumed she’d be here in a few minutes. He went to the back door to meet her. The last thing he wanted was Jimmy making her feel bad.

  All the tension and irritation tightening his muscles eased as soon as Deirdre walked down the basement steps. She dragged a suitcase behind her and had a backpack slung over her shoulder. The sight of her immediately made him feel better.

  “I guess your conversation went about as well as mine then?” she asked as he took the suitcase from her.

  He closed the door behind her and tried to figure out what to tell her. “Jimmy was mad. He brought up the whole immigration thing. Like we’ll get in trouble for getting married.”

  Her eyes widened. “But—”

  “Don’t worry about it. We didn’t do anything wrong. Not really.” At least that’s what he wanted to believe. “Mostly Jimmy was mad that we did it behind his back. Everyone else here is okay with it. How’d it go for you?”

  She set her backpack on his bed and crossed her arms. “Was this a mistake?”

  “No.” What had her family said to make her doubt this? For days, she’d shown no sign of changing her mind.

  “My mother hung up on me. Then Brendan called. Said Mom was beside herself and pointed out how selfish I was being.” She stared at the floor. “Which is true enough.”

  Tommy tilted her face up to see her eyes. “It’s all right to be selfish sometimes. Are you sorry we did this?”

  She waited for a beat. Two. And Tommy began to worry about her answer.

  “No,” she whispered.

  And even though they had yet to talk about being in love, her lack of regret was enough. They’d build the rest with time.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Deirdre felt like she was hiding out in Tommy’s room. They’d been lying in his bed for over an hour, watching TV without really paying attention. As much as she liked the idea of avoiding people, she was getting hungry. It was near suppertime and the stress of the day was still eating away at her.

  “I’m hungry. Is there food in the refrigerator to cook?”

  “I have no idea. I’m not sure when the last time was that someone went grocery shopping.”

  “Is it okay for me to look?”