The Master's Mistress

by Carole Mortimer

  Elizabeth didn’t know what to say. In view of the doubts she had expressed earlier, concerning her judgement of her own father, what could she say that wouldn’t sound like either triteness or possibly another rebuke?

  Rogan felt as if he had a vice wrapped about his chest, preventing him from breathing. Preventing him from doing anything but reliving every moment of that last terrible argument with his father fifteen years ago, the accusations he had made, and all the years of neglect and estrangement since.

  And he had been wrong. So very, very wrong!

  Something he would have to deal with in the same way his father had all these years. Alone.

  His expression was bleak as he looked across at Elizabeth and saw tears of sympathy swimming in those deep blue eyes. ‘I presume you’re packed and ready to go?’ he asked.

  She looked startled. ‘I…Are you going to be all right, Rogan?’ she questioned concernedly.

  It was a concern Rogan didn’t feel able to deal with right now. He had far too much thinking and soul-searching to do first. ‘Why shouldn’t I be all right?’ he retorted. ‘Every belief I’ve ever had has just been shattered into a million pieces—but, hey, it doesn’t matter, does it? As my father said, we all make mistakes, right?’

  Elizabeth was well aware that Rogan was being deliberately flippant in an effort to hide the depth of the pain he was feeling at learning the truth behind his mother’s death. That it was his way of shielding his real emotions.

  If only things were different between them. If only Rogan loved her as she loved him. Then Elizabeth might have been able to go to him. To take him in her arms. To comfort him. To hold him as he expressed all the grief he must be feeling from learning the truth.

  Instead of which they were simply two people, forced together by circumstances, who had been intimate together only once. And Rogan couldn’t have made it any clearer than with that ‘packed and ready to go’ remark that he would rather forget that intimacy had ever happened.

  ‘Right,’ she agreed hollowly. ‘I haven’t packed yet, but I’m just about to.’ She answered his earlier question before turning away, only to pause and turn back again. ‘If you should decide some time in the future that you want to continue having the library catalogued I can recommend someone…?’

  ‘It’s too soon at the moment for me to know what I’m going to do—either with this house or the library,’ Rogan said.

  He looked so bleak. So much in pain. So alone. It was all Elizabeth could do not to run across the room and take him in her arms. A comfort Rogan was sure to reject…

  ‘It was just a thought.’ She nodded. ‘Perhaps you would prefer it if I didn’t bother you again before I leave?’

  ‘Bother me?’ Rogan repeated incredulously. ‘Elizabeth, you’ve bothered me since the moment we first met!’

  ‘I’m sorry…’

  ‘So am I,’ he said. ‘You’ll never know how sorry!’

  There was nothing more to be said, Elizabeth realised heavily.

  Rogan was totally preoccupied with his feelings towards his father, and Elizabeth would be leaving shortly.

  It was over.

  Whatever ‘it’ had been…

  ‘I’m coming with you.’

  Elizabeth looked up from completing her packing to see Rogan leaning against the doorframe into the bedroom that had been hers for the duration of her stay at Sullivan House, both his thumbs hooked into the pockets of his faded jeans. ‘I beg your pardon?’

  Rogan straightened to stroll further into the bedroom. A bedroom that was now clean and tidy and totally devoid of any sign that Elizabeth had ever been there. ‘I said I’m coming with you.’

  She stared back at him blankly. ‘Coming where?’

  ‘I have no idea,’ he answered. ‘Wherever it is your father lives, I guess.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ She gave a perplexed shake of her head.

  As well she might, Rogan acknowledged ruefully. He hadn’t exactly been polite to her an hour ago, when she’d come and found him in his mother’s bedroom. But he’d had every reason not to be feeling polite at the time! He just shouldn’t have taken out his frustration over a situation that couldn’t be changed on Elizabeth…

  Rogan still found it hard to accept what his father had done after his mother had taken her own life fifteen years ago. The secrets he had kept all those years in an effort to protect the wife he had loved so deeply, causing years of estrangement between himself and his son that Rogan could never take back.

  But as he had sat in his mother’s bedroom, thinking of all those things, as he had grieved for all those lost years, it had slowly dawned on Rogan that his father hadn’t just been protecting Maggie’s memory by keeping those secrets, he had been protecting Rogan too. He had allowed Rogan to keep his treasured memories of his beautiful mother. At great cost to Brad himself.

  Human frailties. They all, every one of them, had human frailties.

  His father’s had been to love Maggie so much that he would have done—and had done—anything to protect her memory. Rogan’s had been to put his mother on a pedestal and refuse to admit or acknowledge that she could ever have done anything wrong. Choosing to blame his father for everything rather than ever seeing any fault or blemish in his mother. And Maggie, so warm and charming, had been so guilt-ridden over her own human frailty that she had taken her own life rather than continue to live with it.

  Once Rogan had acknowledged and accepted all of those things, he had also realised that Elizabeth might possibly be opening up a can of worms for herself with her decision to go and visit her own father.

  ‘I’m coming with you to visit your father, Elizabeth,’ he repeated firmly.

  Elizabeth blinked. ‘I—But…why?’ she finally managed to ask.

  Rogan’s mouth compressed. ‘It’s too much to expect that we’ve both been so wrong about our fathers, and I think someone should be there to help you keep it together if your own father turns out to be as bad as you always thought he was.’

  Why on earth would he want to do that for her? Elizabeth wondered. It didn’t make any sense to her—but, then again, when had Rogan ever made any sense to her?

  Never, she acknowledged ruefully. But she had fallen in love with him anyway!

  She shook her head. ‘I really don’t think that’s necessary, Rogan. My father lives in Surrey now—hours and hours’ drive away from here.’

  ‘Believe me, at this moment a drive to Surrey sure beats staying here,’ he drawled.

  Ah. Rogan’s offer had to do with the fact that he had no wish to stay on alone at Sullivan House, surrounded by memories of his own parents…

  ‘It’s very kind of you to offer, Rogan—’

  ‘You were there for me today, Elizabeth,’ he interrupted. ‘I intend returning the favour, that’s all.’

  Was that really all his offer was? Elizabeth wondered. Of course it was! Much as she might wish it were otherwise, that Rogan was as loath to part from her as she was from him, she would only be fooling herself if she tried to read anything more into it.

  She shrugged. ‘I’m pleased to have been of help to you.’

  ‘Of course you are,’ Rogan said. ‘Now let me do the same for you, hmm?’

  Elizabeth had been alone too long, made her own decisions for too many years, to be able to accept anyone’s help unquestioningly or willingly.

  Even Rogan’s? Yes, especially Rogan’s! He had breached her defences in a way that no other man ever had. Had made love to her in ways Elizabeth had only read about in books. Better by far to make a clean break from him, and what she felt for him, when she left Sullivan House.

  ‘Besides, if it’s as far as you say it is, I can do some of the driving for you,’ Rogan added determinedly, as he sensed Elizabeth was about to voice further protest.

  Protest that he could have told her would be a complete waste of her time and energy; he had decided he was going with Elizabeth to see her father, and as far as he was concer
ned that was an end to the subject!

  ‘Rogan, I’m perfectly capable of driving myself wherever I need to go.’

  ‘For God’s sake, give it up, Elizabeth,’ he rasped impatiently. ‘Just accept that you’ve met someone who’s as stubborn as you are!’

  Her eyes widened. ‘My refusal of your offer to accompany me has nothing to do with being stubborn.’

  ‘No?’ he challenged. ‘Then what does it have to do with?’

  Delicate colour entered her cheeks even as she glared across at him mutinously. ‘You can’t salve your conscience by forcing your help on me—’ She broke off abruptly, her eyes wide, her breasts quickly rising and falling in her agitation, hands clenched at her sides.

  Rogan became very still. ‘What, exactly, do you suppose I should have a bad conscience about, Elizabeth?’ he asked quietly.

  She looked flustered. ‘Your mistake about your father, of course.’

  ‘Really?’ he pressed.

  The colour deepened in her cheeks. ‘Yes, really!’

  ‘Liar,’ Rogan murmured, eyes narrowing shrewdly. ‘Do you regret what happened this morning?’

  Of course she regretted what had happened this morning! Just as she regretted falling in love with this man when she knew he was never going to love her back!

  ‘Let’s not cloud the issue by talking about this morning,’ she dismissed briskly.

  ‘What issue is that?’ He once again hooked his thumbs into his jeans pockets.

  Elizabeth eyed him with frustration as she realised she was becoming distracted herself. But did Rogan have to be so darkly handsome? Did he have to be the one man who had managed to force himself past the barrier she had years ago erected so carefully about her emotions?

  She scowled. ‘That I do not need you to accompany me when I visit my own father!’

  ‘Fine,’ he bit out tersely. ‘I’ll just come along for the ride, then, and wait outside in the car while you go in and talk to him.’

  ‘You—’

  ‘Surrey is probably a very nice place to visit this time of year,’ Rogan continued conversationally.

  Elizabeth glared at him. ‘Cornwall is nicer!’

  He gave an unconcerned shrug. ‘I’ve seen Cornwall. I’ve never been to Surrey.’

  Rogan really was determined on coming with her, she realised in frustration.

  And, deep inside herself, despite her misgivings, she was secretly relieved that she didn’t have to say goodbye to him just yet…

  She wished she never had to say goodbye to him!

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘SO NOW, along with the rest of the guys in my unit who survived that last mission, I run my own business in Washington called RS Security,’ Rogan revealed.

  He had been talking without pause for half an hour now, ever since Elizabeth had given him the directions for driving to London. In fact, he hadn’t stopped talking, about everything and nothing, since they had left Leonard Brown’s house in Surrey.

  All in an effort to give Elizabeth the time she needed to decide how she felt about that visit to her father…

  ‘The name RS Security covers a multitude of sins,’ Rogan continued. ‘Business and house security. Computers too, of course. Retrieving lost dogs…’

  ‘Retrieving lost dogs?’ Elizabeth repeated disbelievingly.

  Rogan shot her a grin; it was the first time she had responded to anything he had said since they got back on the road. ‘Well…maybe not lost dogs so far,’ he conceded lightly. ‘But if someone asked I’d probably do it.’

  Elizabeth was well aware of what Rogan was doing—knew he was attempting to distract her by talking about anything but the visit she had just made to her father.

  At best, it had been a stilted visit. At worst, it hadn’t served to vindicate her father of any of the things Elizabeth had believed concerning his disastrous marriage to her mother.

  What it had achieved, however, was to show her that her father had more than met his match in his second wife, Cheryl. Blonde and beautiful, and twenty years younger than her husband, Cheryl obviously kept the wayward Leonard on a very tight leash. So much so that Elizabeth doubted her father ever had the time or the opportunity to even think about straying!

  Seeing her father again had helped Elizabeth to view him through the eyes of an adult, rather than the hurt child she had still been ten years ago…

  Oh, Leonard was still handsome. Still charming. Still something of a rogue. Still totally engrossed in his own needs rather than anyone else’s. In fact, he was still everything that had made him such a disaster of a husband for Elizabeth’s mother.

  But maybe if her mother had been more like Cheryl—forceful, confident of her own attributes, strong enough to go after the man she wanted and keep him—then the marriage might have turned out differently.

  Leonard was still all the things Elizabeth had ever thought him to be. But most of all, he was just weak. A man who for years had fed his own ego by having affairs with numerous other women.

  It was disappointing, but at the same time this evening’s visit had been a successful one as far as Elizabeth was concerned. It had freed her, and her emotions, in a way she would never have believed possible. It had wiped out the anger and resentment that had coloured her own life and decisions for so long. Now she just pitied her father for the weak and foolish man he undoubtedly was.

  Unlike Rogan, so strong and confident of himself, who was everything and more that Elizabeth could ever want in a man…

  One thing Elizabeth had definitely learnt from this visit to her father was that she wasn’t about to allow the man she wanted to just walk out of her life. At least, not without first telling him how she felt about him.

  ‘So.’ She turned in the passenger seat to look at him as he sat slightly cramped behind the wheel of her Mini. ‘What it all comes down to is that you’re not such a bad-ass as you would like everyone to believe you are!’

  ‘Not such a what?’ Rogan gave a disbelieving laugh as he shot her a sideways glance.

  ‘Bad-ass,’ Elizabeth repeated lightly. ‘An American term. It means—’

  ‘I know what it means, Elizabeth—I’m American, remember?’ he pointed out. ‘It just isn’t a phrase I had ever expected to hear coming out of the mouth of the learned Dr Elizabeth Brown!’

  She shrugged. ‘I watch television programmes from America, just like everyone else.’

  ‘And read scary vampire books…’

  ‘Sexy vampire books,’ Elizabeth corrected ruefully. ‘If we’re going to talk about them, we may as well be accurate.’

  ‘Oh, I’m all for accuracy. What do you mean, I’m not such a bad-ass as I like everyone to believe I am?’ Rogan asked curiously.

  She’d got his attention, Elizabeth recognised with quiet satisfaction. ‘Number one.’ She held up her first finger. ‘When you realised what Mrs Baines had done you quietly and efficiently set about putting the situation to rights by telling the police we had now checked thoroughly and nothing was missing after all.’

  ‘Thanks for saying I was efficient, at least.’ Rogan grimaced.

  Elizabeth smiled, unperturbed. ‘Number two. I’m beginning to suspect your claim that your father had arranged in his will for a pension to be paid to his aged housekeeper was not entirely truthful.’

  Rogan’s mouth tightened. ‘No doubt he would have done if he had thought of it.’

  ‘No doubt.’ Elizabeth nodded confidently. ‘Number three—’

  ‘Exactly how many numbers are there going to be?’ Rogan cut in.

  ‘Oh, quite a few,’ she teased.

  He nodded. ‘Then I suggest we find somewhere to stop and eat while you go through them. We’ve been travelling most of the day. Your father—who I noticed called you Liza!—and your stepmother didn’t seem inclined to invite us to stay for dinner, and I’m starving.’

  As a means of changing the subject it was pretty effective, Elizabeth allowed—she was feeling rather hungry herself. ‘No problem
.’ She nodded. ‘There’s a rather good Chinese take-away if you turn right at the next corner.’

  ‘How do you know that?’ Rogan demanded as he took the appropriate right turn and instantly saw the Chinese take-away on the left-hand side of the road.

  ‘I live just half a mile away from here.’

  Rogan gave her a sharp glance once he had parked the car in front of the take-away. ‘The directions you gave me earlier were to your place?’

  Elizabeth raised auburn brows. ‘Do you have a problem with that?’

  Yes, Rogan had a problem with that!

  Driving with Elizabeth to visit her father was one thing—although she seemed to be bearing up under the strain of that disappointment far better than Rogan had expected she might. In fact, Elizabeth seemed quite perky, considering her father was definitely a rogue and her stepmother was a beautiful harridan, but going back to Elizabeth’s apartment with her definitely hadn’t been in his plans!

  Although he wasn’t absolutely sure what his plan had been when he’d insisted on accompanying Elizabeth to Surrey…

  ‘Just relax, Rogan,’ Elizabeth teased as she moved efficiently about the comfortable kitchen, collecting plates and flatware to go with the Chinese food they had brought in with them.

  Elizabeth’s apartment had come as something of a surprise to him, Rogan acknowledged as he absently helped put the cartons of food on the breakfast bar. As she had assured him, it wasn’t a penthouse apartment. Neither was it in a secure and classy apartment building in a prestigious part of London.

  Instead, Elizabeth had the ground-floor apartment in a converted three-storey Victorian-style house. Admittedly the rooms were big and spacious, with high ceilings, but they were also old-fashioned, and the furnishings were old and comfortable rather than expensively modern.