I Wish...

by Wren Emerson

  "Does Shep have a power?"

  Mom chuckled and said, "No. Men don't have Talents. They can come from strong Families, which is what we look for when we marry one, but they never actually display any powers."

  "I think I'd like some time to think about this please." I wasn't entirely sure I believed any of what they were saying to me, but I needed to leave this room and this conversation as soon as I could.

  Ramona stood up and gestured toward the door. "I think that would be a good idea. Go ahead."

  I walked across the room on weak legs. My hand was on the doorknob when Ramona called after me, "Be careful. You're a very important person to this Family."

  I shut the door gently behind me.

  I went outside and rushed through a messy set of stretches before I jogged back to the path in the woods. Once I hit cleared ground, I lengthened my stride and started sprinting along the trail. I'd run along the path most days since we moved here, but never since that first day had I stopped at the clearing. I'm not even entirely sure what made me veer off onto the smaller trail. My mind was full of confusion and the clearing was such a tranquil place. I wanted to sit on the moss under the tree, close my eyes and think of nothing except the sounds of the forest.

  I crashed through the trees that guarded the entrance to the glade. By now I was sweaty and there were leaves and twigs in my pony tail. And so, of course, Ben was already there, shirt off again and writing in his notebook. It didn't appear that he saw me so I tried to sneak back into the trees before he noticed me, but I only got a few steps away before he called out to me.

  "Hey, Thistle." He set his notebook aside and walked over to me. "What's wrong?"

  I looked up at him. This was the first time I'd really noticed how much taller than me he really was. His wiry muscles emphasized his height. I don't know why I didn't just go then. After the way he'd treated me at school, I should have told him off and left. But there was concern written on his face and I really wanted someone to listen.

  "Ben, either both my mom and grandmother are crazy or I am. I've also seriously considered the possibility that maybe we all are."

  He put his hands around the back of my neck and gently used his thumbs on my cheeks to tilt my face towards him. "Slow down, ok? What's going on?"

  Deep breath. Here we go. "My grandmother told me today that Desire is a town full of witches. Not only that, but she says that I'm supposed to be a witch too." I didn't even know it was coming, but suddenly I was sobbing. Saying it aloud like that made it seem so real. Somebody had lost their grip on reality and that someone might very well be me. I was scared and it seemed like my life was spinning out of control.

  He pulled me close to him in a tight hug. I resisted for a second, worried about my tears on his naked tanned skin, but then I gave up completely and just let myself break down for a while.

  I'm not sure how long we stood like that before his murmured reassurances finally calmed me. I wasn't used to crying in front of people. Tears never solved anything and I was embarrassed that Ben had seen me in a state of such raw vulnerability. He didn't say anything as he led me by the hand over to the tree. He handed me his discarded shirt. "I'm sorry I don't have anything else to clean up with."

  I dabbed my watery eyes, but stopped short of cleaning the snot from my face. It was a sweet gesture on his part, but yuck.

  He rummaged in a back pack I hadn't noticed and pulled out a hoodie that he slipped on. He braced his back against the tree and tugged me until I was cuddled next to him. It was an intimate gesture, but I didn't attempt to pull away. The reassurance of leaning against his solid chest made me feel grounded and safe and back in control of myself.

  We had been sitting quietly for a few minutes when Ben finally spoke up. "So you really had no idea you were a witch?"

  I jerked out of his arms so that I could study his face for any sign of deception. "Are you messing with me, right now? Because I'll be honest, I'm not really in a good place to laugh at this."

  "I'll take that as a no. Thistle, I have no idea how they managed to hide your powers from you for however many years, but it's true. If you are the granddaughter of Ramona Madison, then you are a witch. Every single woman in this town has some sort of power and every single man carries the genetic code for magic, but they lack whatever it is that makes it possible to actually perform a Talent."

  "This is insane. Surely you understand that."

  "It's reassuring that we're so well hidden from the world." His smile was inexplicably bitter. "Now that I know that you didn't realize you were a witch it explains a lot. I was confused by how persistent you were about being seen talking to me publicly."

  I wrapped my arms around my knees. "Ok, so say that I buy that you're a witch and I'm a witch and the entire town is nothing but a bunch of witches. That's asking a lot, but say that I do. Why would that have anything to do with whether we talked in public or not?"

  He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Didn't they tell you anything about the way things work here?"

  "Umm... something about a Coven and Matriarchs, I guess."

  "Then you must have picked up on the fact that some Families are stronger than others, right?"

  "Yeah, thirteen Families have a representative in the Coven so they are the strongest."

  He nodded. "Well, I'm not from one of those Families. Evan Spencer who squires you around school is from a Coven Family. So are James Middleton and the rest of the kids you sit with at lunch. I'm not even from Desire."

  "Then how did you end up here?"

  Ben looked away from me and examined the tree line across the field. "There is a Family, the Hunters, with the ability to seek out magic. The women in that Family spend their lives traveling the world looking for men to lure back to Desire. They can sense potential untapped magic in people. They don't bother with women because we've got plenty of our own here, but the men can be married off to some of the weaker women. Sometimes when the Hunters are out, they find orphaned or abandoned children with strong magical potential and they bring them back to be fostered by some kind soul."

  I reached for his warm hand and gripped it hard. "I assume you're too young to be one of the men they brought back. You were one of the orphans?"

  "I don't remember anything from before I lived here. My adopted mother doesn't know anything either. She doesn't even know which Hunter left me at her house. Those cartoons you see where a mother leaves her baby in a basket on a porch? That really happens here."

  "That's terrible." As cold as my mother was at least I knew who she was.

  "It's all I've ever known. Maybe my life would have been worse in some orphanage somewhere. The thing is, I can't help but feel cheated because at least I would have been on equal footing out there. Here, I'm a second class citizen. There aren't arranged marriages exactly, but unless I happen to fall in love with a certain kind of girl, I'll be alone."

  "And everyone here thinks that way? It's like feudal Europe or something."

  "Except instead of land and wealth, people make treaties and marriages based on the potential magical abilities of their daughters."

  "And queens rule everything instead of kings." I sighed. "So it's a safe guess that my father is from Desire?"

  "You don't know who your father is either? Didn't they tell you anything?"

  I laughed. "I didn't even know my own name before a couple of weeks ago. Why? Do you know who my father is?" I asked hopefully.

  Ben shook his head. "I have no idea. People guard secrets pretty closely here. But knowing your Family, it's pretty much guaranteed that your father is a local."

  "You've lived here pretty much forever, do I look like anyone in town, do you think?"

  He snorted. "There are a lot of good looking people in town, but is anyone as gorgeous as you are? Unlikely."

  We sat in awkward silence and seemed to remember at the same time that I was still holding his hand. We both stood up and looked everywhere, but at each other. I wanted to ask him wha
t this meant, if this afternoon changed anything between us, but I was too scared that he might tell me no. Instead, I said. "I've got to go."

  "Uh, yeah. Me too. I'll see you around." He stammered.

  I waved and then turned on my heel and jogged out of the clearing.

  I was almost home when I saw Krista walking towards me. "Hey!" She waved.

  "Hi. What's up?"

  "I thought you might want someone to talk to about what Mother told you."

  "Your mom didn't say anything to me."

  It was impossible not to answer her grin with one of my own. "Not mom, 'Mother'. That's Ramona's new title now that she's our Matriarch."

  I thought back to all the times someone had referred to their mothers. I wondered how many actually meant their Matriarch. It leant a new layer of meaning to all the conversations I'd had. "I wonder if Shep meant his mother or his Matriarch?"

  "For him, they are the same person."

  We started walking together. "I can't believe any of this is true."

  She picked up a long thin stick and let it trail along the sides of the trees we passed between. "It's hard for me to imagine that nobody in the outside world knows about witches. I can't imagine a life without magic."

  "So what do you do? What's your ability?"

  Krista shrugged. "Nothing special. Animals tell me things."

  I stopped walking. "Really? You can talk to animals? That's amazing!"

  "I don't talk to them. They tell me things. They don't understand me, or like, do my bidding." In an uncharacteristic gesture, Krista rolled her eyes.

  "Still, very cool." She nodded acknowledgement and started walking without me. I jogged a few paces until we were side by side again. "I just saw Ben... I just realized I don't even know his last name."

  "Foster. Ben Foster. I like him. He's quiet, but he's not fake like a lot of the people in this town. I really respect that."

  "He told me that he's from a weak Family." We were close to home and I wanted to finish this conversation so I sat on an ivy covered log.

  Krista realized that I wasn't beside her and joined me before she said, "He lives with a woman who has adopted several kids that the Hunter have brought her. I think he's supposed to have a lot of power potential, but he doesn't have town bloodlines so no First Daughter will ever agree to marry him. He might find a Second Daughter from a good Family, but he seems pretty disgusted with all the strong Families on principle or something."

  "Whoa, I think I have the gist of what you're saying, but you're kinda losing me on all the daughter talk."

  She bounced happily. "Oooh, I've been able to play teacher about anything before. Ok, so First Daughters are like royalty in Desire. It works like old timey kings and castles. The oldest son takes over the kingdom. Except here it's the girls in control."

  I nodded as I digested this new information. "Alright, I follow so far. So Second Daughters are the second daughters? Are there Third and Fourth daughters?"

  Krista laughed and clapped her hands at my ignorance. "Second Daughters is a catch all term for any woman who isn't a First Daughter. If you aren't in line to become the Matriarch of your Family, you're a Second Daughter."

  "And Second Daughters can marry whoever they want?"

  She looked sad for a moment. "As long as whoever they want to marry isn't the son of a really powerful Family. Men carry the potential to do magic and sometimes they pass on the type of magic their Family specializes in. So in that way guys have it easier. The fourth son of a strong Family has more freedom and worth in Desire than the Second Daughter of a Coven Family.

  I sat quietly for a moment as I turned it over in my mind. "And Ben won't talk to me because I'm a First Daughter?"

  "Not just a First Daughter. You are next in line to a spot in the Coven. That's a huge deal, you know. You can pick from the most desirable guys in school and when you finally get your spot in the Coven, you'll have power that extends outside of town."

  "What do you mean?" The impish smile I assumed was a permanent fixture on her face was gone and she was all seriousness now.

  "Well, Desire is only so big, you know. There's only so much room. Most of the people who live here are the Matriarchs of the different Families and their immediate families. Something has to be done with the excess of Second Daughters and unmarried men."

  "That makes sense. What happens to them?" Dread twisted in my stomach. I was positive she was going to say they were killed.

  She was solemn. "They are sent to the outside. Most of them marry important people or find positions of power for themselves. They still answer to their Matriarch and it extends her sphere of influence. And the Coven controls all the Families so really, every time a Second Daughter makes a powerful connection on the outside, it's like they are answering directly to the Coven."

  The big bad is the outside world? I was relieved to hear that nobody was being killed, but what Krista was saying was still very disturbing. "Do you have any idea how far they've extended their influence?"

  She shook her head. "Nope. There are a lot of secrets in town. It's dangerous for a Matriarch to let anyone know too much. Families are in constant struggles for position. People are willing to kill for a spot in the Coven."

  "That's crazy! Getting arrested seems counterproductive."

  Krista shook her head again, harder this time. "People don't get arrested. We have a small police force here, but it's all for show. If justice needs to be handed down, it's taken care of by the Coven. But for an assassination? It happens and the general opinion is that if you're stupid enough to let yourself be killed, you pretty much got what you had coming. Please don't confuse life in the rest of the world for the way things work in Desire. That really will get you killed."

  I shivered uncontrollably. "I guess that explains what Ramona was going on about. I didn't take it seriously.

  She grabbed my hand tightly. "Promise me that you're taking this seriously now. This is important. If you aren't on your guard all the time, you’ll be an easy target."

  Weary, I rubbed my temple. "Ok, fine, I can accept that. A lot of the people I've met so far don't seem like they'd mind killing me so it's not a huge leap."

  "Well, when you guys showed back up in town it changed the balance of power. If Ramona wasn't here when Georgina died, my mom would have taken the title of Matriarch and had a shot at a spot in the Coven. Undoubtedly, someone would have challenged her to a show of power, where she'd have to prove that her magic was strong enough to deserve that position. That would give some of the Families that aren't in the Coven an opportunity to take her spot. But nobody is going to challenge Ramona. So yeah, there's probably some resentment there." Her smile was hard.

  "I guess that's why your mom hates me."

  Krista looked perplexed. "Honestly, I'm not sure why she's being so awful to you. I'm pretty sure her issues with not being able to be the Matriarch are with Ramona though. That wasn't your fault."

  "Can I ask you something else?" I felt incredibly awkward, but I had to know.

  "Sure, what is it?"

  "The reason you avoid me at school? Is it because of the whole First Daughter thing?"

  She sighed, "Yeah. The kids you sit with at lunch? Those are all First Daughters or really powerful guys except for Natalie. She's a Second Daughter, but her Family has healing powers so they've taken an oath to be neutral and not form any alliances against other Families. Plus, their Matriarch, Elizabeth is pretty much immortal."

  I guess my shock showed on my face because she punched me lightly on the arm and continued. "She has some super regeneration or something. She looks like she's maybe twenty three, but she's been around for something like two hundred years. She's the High Priestess of the Coven. That's the ultimate position of power, right there. But since she doesn't age or die, there's nobody who will ever take her place as Matriarch in her Family so there's not really any distinction between daughters. Really it's got to be pretty nice for them."

  "You're a cheerl
eader. I thought you guys were always insanely popular? Isn't it some kind of rite of passage into the ranks of the cool kids? Next you'll be telling me that everything movies have lead me to believe about prom queens is wrong too."

  "First Daughters from powerful Families get what they want. Boys, material things, positions on sports teams or entry into exclusive organizations. Nobody in Desire would dare deny a First Daughter from the twenty or so most powerful Families anything they want. If one of them wanted my spot, I'd be gone. Regardless of how good I am or how hard I've trained, I would be gone tomorrow if Lydia Spencer said she wanted it so."