I Wish...

by Wren Emerson

  "Well, then let's do that." He smiled at me and just like that the weirdness was gone. He made me feel so calm and secure when he was around.

  Evan walked me to class as usual. Our speech went well and we got an A on the project.

  The ease of making up with Evan left me feeling a little better about my encounter with Ben. If Evan could forgive me for rejecting him then surely I could convince Ben that things weren't as grim as they seemed.

  My heart raced when I sat beside him. Well, he isn't looking out the window and ignoring me this time. That's encouraging.

  In fact he was staring at me. He looked like a starving man who's been given a meal he didn't expect. I wondered if the memories of our kiss were giving him butterflies like the ones I had.

  He closed his eyes and said, "You've got to go."

  "Can't." I said gleefully. "The teacher just walked in. I'm going to have to sit here all period."

  He pitched his voice lower and said, "Why won't you just listen to me? This is hard enough without you trying your damndest to entice me."

  My breathing sped up. His vulnerability excited me and I longed to touch him. "Why won't you listen when I tell you that I don't care what’s expected of me?"

  His eyes blazed with inexplicable fury. "Maybe somewhere there is a reality where we could be together without fear, but this isn't it."

  I rolled my eyes. "Are you really trying to use a comic book as rationalization in this argument?"

  Ben had to wait until the teacher was done passing out papers before he could respond. "Look, this isn't happening. We don't have a future together."

  "But--"

  "Let this go. Go out with one of the guys from a strong Family and forget about the idea of there ever being a you and me."

  I gripped the edge of my desk, desperate for something solid to hold onto. "Is that really what you want?"

  He was facing the window again, but I saw his curt nod clear enough. "That's exactly what I want."

  I tried to talk to him after that, but he shut me out as effectively as if there were a glass wall surrounding him. I attempted to talk to him after class when our conversation wasn't limited to careful whispers, but he raced away and disappeared into the crowds of kids milling in the halls.

  I trudged to my locker and was surprised to find James Middleton lounging next to it. As usual he hadn't shaved in at least two or three days and his hair was a tousled mess. He was wearing a brightly colored Hawaiian print shirt, unbuttoned to the middle of his sternum with a great deal of chest hair on display paired with a pair of tan corduroy pants. He looked like a four year old in good standing with the local chapter of the Jimmy Buffet fan club. He acknowledged my arrival with a cheesy finger point. "Don't worry, I told Evan I have this one."

  I leaned against the other side of my locker facing him. "What's up?"

  He grinned, "Can't a guy talk to the prettiest girl in school without her accusing him of having darker motives?"

  I rolled my eyes and put my books away. "Now I'm positive you want something from me."

  He peeked around the metal door and fluttered his eyelashes. It was ridiculous, but it also lifted my mood a great deal. It was really hard to be angry around James. "Actually, I do want something from you."

  I shooed him away from my locker so I could shut the door. "I've got class in a minute so walk while you talk."

  "I'm having a get together tonight and it would be both a privilege and an honor to have you come."

  "Whoa, both a privilege and an honor? That's pretty serious."

  He grabbed my arm, "All joking aside, I'd really like you to come to my party as my date."

  He looked serious, but this had to be another joke. "I've seen this in the movies. You want me to show up so you and Lydia can dump pig's blood on me or pelt me with something. No thanks."

  "No, really. Lydia and I are over and I know you aren't dating anyone so I didn't want to wait any longer to act on my attraction to you."

  I was speechless. I hadn't ever thought of James as a guy that I might like to date, but he was right. Evan wasn't an option and Ben didn't want to be an option so why not? James was a little irreverent, but he was fun to be around and I could use all of the fun I could get right now.

  "When is this party supposed to happen?" I asked.

  "Tonight, sweet thang. Say you'll be there."

  "That's such short notice." I frowned.

  He playfully pretend punched my chin. "That's because I decided to throw it this morning when I found out my Family will be out of town for the weekend to go shopping in New York."

  Well, it's not like I have anything better to do. "I don't even know where you live."

  He pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to me with a showy flourish. I looked at it and saw that it was a business card that listed as his profession as "playboy". "Cute. Really." I gestured to the card.

  "Right? Did you know that you can get pretty much anything printed up from companies on the internet? I got my dog some that said he worked as a--"

  "Ok." I interrupted before he could say anything that would change my mind. "I'll go. What time?"

  "I'll order some pizzas around five o'clock so... how about six? If you can make it there, I'll make sure you get a ride home."

  We arrived at my class room. "That sounds ok. I'll be there."

  He made a show of kissing my hand in a courtly way. "You have spared me a broken heart, milady."

  I gave him a light push and he walked off laughing. I started to go into my class when I saw Krista down the hall. She was staring intently at James' retreating back and the expression on her face wasn't happy. I checked my watch and saw I still had a few minutes until the bell rang. I rushed to her and grabbed her arm before she disappeared into her own class.

  She jumped, but smiled when she saw it was me. "Hey you."

  "Hey yourself. I saw you looking at James. You didn't look amused and I just wondered if something was wrong?"

  Her smile faltered a little. "I was just wondering what was going on with you two. Nothing important."

  Now I grinned. "He asked me to be his date to his party tonight." I thought maybe she'd be as excited as I was at this opportunity for a date since I'd shared with her my total lack of experience with boys, but she looked concerned.

  "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

  "Of course. James and Lydia broke up so there's no reason not to date him."

  She looked uncomfortable. "I just mean, he doesn't seem like your type. What about Evan? I thought you two were talking."

  I hadn't talked to her about the scene at the Spencer house so she had no idea that I'd written him off as a potential boyfriend. So rather than explain it now I said casually, "Evan and I are just friends. He's adorable, don't get me wrong, but romantically? There's just nothing there."

  Was that relief I saw on her face? I couldn't tell and her voice gave nothing away. "That's too bad. He really is the nicest of any of the boys from a Coven Family."

  "Are you going to come to the party?" I asked.

  Her expression was unreadable. "I've got to cheer at a game tonight, sorry."

  "Oh." I was disappointed. "Well, I'll fill you in on anything good that happens."

  The warning bell rang and we waved to each other and rushed to our classes. I dropped into my seat and thought about the night ahead of me. My first real party. And my first real date. It was petty of me, but I hoped that Ben would hear that James had asked me out and know that I was completely and unarguably over him. I hoped that maybe I'd be able to believe it myself soon.

  When I got home I found Ramona sitting at a desk in her study examining a thick book that looked like it could have been written hundreds of years ago. Her auburn hair was gathered on top of her head with springy curls threatening to escape the pins that contained them.

  She looked at me over the lenses of her reading glasses. "Yes, Thistle?"

  I shifted nervously from one foot to the othe
r. I wasn't sure how she'd respond to my request. "I wanted to know if I could go to a party that one of the boys from school, James, is having tonight."

  "Is he from a good Family?" Her features were drawn into a stern expression.

  "Yes, ma'am. His Mother is in the Coven."

  Her eyes narrowed. "This James isn't a Spencer is he?"

  I was glad to be able to shake my head no. She didn't seem any fonder about their Family than Cora was about ours.

  "Well, what is his last name?"

  "James Middleton."

  She clapped her hands in a delighted way that I wasn't used to seeing from her. "Oh that's wonderful, dear! Tatiana Middleton is a very Talented member of the Coven. You and James would make a very good match."

  Do not roll your eyes. "So you don't mind if I go to his party?"

  She hurried around her desk and gave me a quick little hug. "I'm so pleased that you two are becoming friends. Of course, you may go."

  "Great! Thank you, ma'am."

  I walked until I was sure Ramona couldn't see me anymore and then I thundered up the stairs. I had a party to attend and no idea what to do with my hair or what to wear. I was sorry that Krista wasn't home so I could ask her advice. I took the quickest shower possible that would allow me to wash my long hair and shave my legs. As I toweled off, I opened my closet and took inventory.

  A quick glance told me that I couldn't wear anything I owned. Krista, who was more interested in clothes than me (and who had grown up with the luxury of a real closet) had some really beautiful outfits, but I was taller and had a smaller chest than she did so I couldn't borrow anything from her and expect it to fit. I tried on a few pieces of my cuter clothes, but rejected each one. I eyed my wished for designer dress speculatively. It was, by far, the nicest thing I owned. In fact, it was maybe the only thing I could wear that wouldn't include some part of the outfit being made of denim.

  I tried it on and looked at myself in the mirror critically. I didn't think it was too dressy since it was a simple cut with minimal details. The cut, though simple, was dramatic. The plunging neckline showed more cleavage than James had earlier today in his shirt. If the hem was any shorter the term "mini skirt" would have been too generous to describe it, but I had to admit that I liked the way it looked on me. I borrowed a pair of silver strappy high heels from Krista and admired what I had created.

  There was a lot of exposed skin, but it was skin that was naturally tan and kept firm form daily work outs. I decided against wearing any kind of necklace because I wanted people to follow the neckline. How many years of bralessness could a girl expect anyway? I fastened a large silver bangle (also borrowed from Krista) on my wrist and twisted my hair into a simple up do and decided to call my look complete.

  I was applying my make up when there was a knock the door. I opened it and saw Jack standing in the hall. "Can I talk to you?"

  "Sure." I motioned him inside and he sat on the edge of my bed. I was glad to see him because I wanted to ask if he'd mind giving me a ride to the party. After my last near fatal walk, I was nervous about walking there alone.

  I sat at the vanity and gestured at the scattered tubes of make-up. "I was just getting ready for a party, do you mind if I keep getting ready while we talk?"

  "Not at all. It's actually fascinating how you women manage to figure out how to use all those things."

  I laughed politely. I liked Jack. Since I'd been here he'd been very sweet and concerned, asking me about my day or how I was adjusting to life in Desire. But having him up here in my room was strange and I felt a little awkward. "What did you want to talk about?"

  His eyes went distant and he said, "You know, when I was a kid I was one of the most eligible bachelors in town. I could have had any girl I wanted. I think I must have gone steady with every First Daughter at least once."

  I avoided looking at him in the mirror and concentrated on applying mascara instead. "Oh?"

  "Yeah, when you're a son from a Coven Family you write your own ticket. But that was a long time ago. Now here you are getting ready for a big party. You look amazing, by the way. That dress... wow. I almost don't want to let you out of the house wearing that little thing."

  "Thanks, Jack." I started to rush through the rest of my routine because this conversation was really taking a turn for the creepy.

  He caught my eye in the mirror and held it. "I'm really proud of the way you've turned out, you know. I see a lot of your mother in you. Not the way she is now, but the way she used to be back when we were all kids."

  "Thanks, but I've got to go now, Jack." I grabbed the wide black wool scarf I planned to use as a drape. I would have preferred to wear something a little more sophisticated, but I didn't have anything like that.

  He stood up then and gave me a hug. I stood there, stiff. After a lifetime he finally let me go. "Do you want me to drive you to the party?"

  Not in a million years. "No, thanks. It's only a few blocks and it's not even dark yet."

  His brow furrowed. "Are you sure? It's no trouble for me and those shoes look like they are more for show than for walking."

  I smiled my most dimple bearing fake smile, hoping that he couldn't see how completely uncomfortable I was with this entire conversation and, more, the idea of continuing it the close confines of his car. "It's ok. Really, Uncle Jack. You're right about the shoes though. If Shep made me do my practices in these things I think that I would have had a lot more motivation to get it right and get it over with than even the threat of being punched in the jaw."

  He walked behind me down the stairs and I thought he looked ready to grab me if I should totter over in my heels. I appreciated the gesture since it was a very real possibility. I waved a hasty goodbye at the front door and wobbled off down the street.

  I was a block from home when I started to really think about the possible consequences of my gut reaction. I wasn't afraid that Jack might pose any kind of danger to me and was actually quite ashamed that my first instinct upon meeting him was to write him off as a lech. But holy awkward, Batman. Of course, now in the growing dusk it was a lot easier to berate myself for being so easily disturbed by a conversation that wasn't at all overtly threatening. It wasn't even subtly threatening. My rational mind knew that it was my lack of experience with any kind of emotional intimacy that made me so skittish now when presented with any.

  I wrapped the scarf tight around myself and clutched my purse in nervous hands. What if Lydia attacked me again? I was in heels I could barely walk in. I couldn't even save myself without help from Ben in a pair of sneakers, forget about it in these beautiful, but useless shoes.

  The footsteps, when they started, were stealthy and I didn't immediately hear them over the clicking of my heels against the pavement. Instantly my mouth became too dry to swallow and adrenaline flooded my body. I increased my pace as much as I dared without risking a broken ankle if I tripped and chanced a quick peek over my shoulder. As I expected, nothing.

  I was in sight of James' house when I heard a twig snap right behind me and became aware of a burst of hot air on skin of my bare neck. Horror was quickly replaced by blinding panic when I realized that someone was standing close enough behind me to be breathing on the back of my neck. I started to run without a second thought to my inexperience with high heeled shoes. I'm lucky that I didn't fall.

  Somehow I managed to make it onto his well-lit porch. The door opened from the inside as a couple of kids I vaguely recognized from school staggered out, already quite drunk even though it wasn't even seven o'clock yet. I risked a quick look from the relative safety of my perch surrounded by people and saw nothing. I shuddered helplessly and let myself into the house.

  I was a mess. My limbs ached from the excess adrenaline and I was pretty sure I felt a crop of blisters forming on my feet from wearing the unfamiliar shoes. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror mounted on the entry way wall and saw that my face was pale and sick looking. Ironically, my hair actually looked better than bef
ore. It had this whole "messy equals cute" thing going on that I could never manage to achieve on purpose.

  "Hey! Thistle!" James caught me up in an unexpected bear hug while still managing not to spill the contents of the blue plastic cup he clutched in one hand. "You look a-ma-zing!"

  "Thanks." I tried on a smile that almost felt natural even though my insides were still roiling.

  He pushed the cup into my hand. "Drink up. There's pizza... somewhere. Grab a slice and come find me. I gots to mingle. Whooo!" He screamed into my face before booming a greeting at someone behind me who'd just come in the door.

  The chaos around me was nothing like what I expected. I was worried that I was later than anticipated to get here, but it was still fairly early and the house was a cacophony of sights, smells, and most of all, sounds. This "get together" reminded me of the epic parties I had seen in movies.