I Wish...

by Wren Emerson

  Why not be pleased? I’m a tool. Her tool. And she just found out that I’m more useful than she’d hoped and now everyone else knows it too.

  I ground my teeth together, suddenly furious. Who were these women to play with my life as if it were no more important to them than a game piece? A pawn to be played strategically until it was eventually captured and too bad if it wasn’t something I wanted.

  “Can I go now?” I bit out. “I don’t feel very well.”

  Ramona spoke up behind me, shocked at my audacity. “Absolutely not. Come and sit down.”

  Elizabeth looked at me for a long moment before she said, “No, Ramona, we’ve got much to discuss with the introduction of this new information. Hilary, you’re dismissed. Jane, you can go too, but I want Olivia to walk you home.”

  I thought briefly about arguing, but decided that it really wasn’t that bad of a deal. I didn’t dislike Olivia, but I didn’t trust her friendship with Lydia either.

  I followed Olivia out of the room and even before we’d left earshot, the women began arguing. Planning out how best to use me, I was sure. I rolled my eyes and left the house hot on Olivia’s heels.

  Olivia and I walked almost half a block before she spoke to me. “So what did you think of the Coven? That is the first time you’ve met them all, right?”

  I nodded. “And if I’m lucky it’ll be the last time I have to do that.”

  She shot me an amused look. “Ok, crazy lady. You clearly don’t understand how those women work if you think that after hearing that you’re the most powerful witch who ever lived, they won’t come up with a million reasons why you should form alliances with them.”

  “Oh my God,” I muttered, “isn’t anybody in this town sincere?”

  She smiled. “This town depends on dishonesty and behind the scenes power plays to survive. If anyone ever had the power to make everyone be truthful I think things would limp along for a week tops.” She caught my sour look. “Don’t worry though, you get used to it after a while.”

  I groaned. “No, thanks. If I ever get that comfortable with being manipulated why don’t you just go ahead and shoot me?”

  Olivia giggled. “I don’t think you’d need me to finish you off. If you aren’t careful who you trust someone else is likely to do the job.”

  I knew she was just joking, but I had to ask, “Don’t you ever get tired of living this way? Every aspect of your life is under the Coven’s control, including who you marry someday.”

  Her face turned stony and her body stiffened. “I won’t be getting married.”

  I misinterpreted what she meant. “They told you that you can’t even get married? That’s ridiculous. I hope you told them to go to hell.”

  “No,” she snapped. “Nobody told me I couldn’t get married. But nobody is going to want to marry a woman they can’t have sex with.”

  “Why wouldn’t they- Oh.” I remember the blackened spot on Elizabeth’s cheek. “Because of your Talent?”

  Olivia nodded, all traces of humor gone now. “What you saw with Mother was just a quick peck on the cheek. Sustained contact can kill people and the effects seem to be strongest when I touch someone with my hands.”

  I frowned at the sidewalk, angry with myself. I couldn’t think of anything to say that could possibly make the moment a little lighter.

  She shrugged. “It’s actually really lucky that I have Mother. Not only can I touch her, but since she’ll never die, it doesn’t matter that I can’t have kids. In another Family I would have been killed years ago so that Natalie could be the new First Daughter.”

  “Are you serious?” My discomfort was replaced with shock. “Families really kill their own kids?”

  “Yup. It’s not really common. Usually they’ll let a kid grow up and have their own daughter. That’s what happened in your case, right? Your mom’s power isn’t very strong so the title will jump right over her if your Mother dies?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “A few years ago, in a Family with serious aspirations to joining the Coven, there was a car accident that killed a woman, her mother, and her daughter. The woman’s sister became the new First Daughter because their mother was an only child. Nobody could prove the Mother had anything to do with the accident, but it’s not like anybody really tried.”

  “Really? And you’re sure it was the Mother who planned it?” My voice sounded strangled in my ears. I cleared my throat.

  “Positive. The sad part is that they aren’t even close to breaking into the Coven. They have a lot of hopes, but no strength to back it up. I think they are maybe eighth in line.”

  “That’s my house, up there.” I pointed.

  “Give me your phone.” She programmed her number into my phone, fingers flying as fast as Elizabeth’s had earlier. “I know we haven’t talked much, but if Mother wants us to be friends, that’s what we’re going to do. Call me if you need anything. We’ll plan to start doing things together.”

  “You don’t actually have to do this, you know.” I told her. “If she asks, I’ll tell your Mother that we’ve been hanging out.”

  “Look, you really do seem like a nice person. I don’t mind doing this. Lydia will probably have a kitten if she finds out, but I really don’t care what Lydia Spencer thinks about anything. Believe me, if there were more options in this town, I’m not sure anyone would talk to her. You may not have noticed, but she’s a bit of a bitch.”

  She spoke the line in such a deadpan voice that it took me a minute to realize she was kidding. I laughed at the incredible understatement.

  “So call me, ok? I mean it.” She said.

  I nodded my agreement. “Ok,” I smiled. “I’ll do that.”

  I let myself into the house and went directly to my room. I hoped that Krista might be home, but she wasn’t so I laid back on my bed with my hands folded over my stomach. I traced the patterns of the shadows with my eyes and thought about everything I’d learned that day. I was the most powerful witch in a town full of witches. Lucky for me or else my own Family might try to kill me. And what about Olivia? I’d really gotten to know a new side of her personality. I was a little embarrassed by how happy I about the prospect of being friends with her. I was still grinning when I fell asleep a few minutes later.

  Despite my nap on Sunday afternoon, I couldn’t sleep that night. Every time I managed to fall asleep, I’d jerk awake, my heart pounding. I have no memories of my morning classes on Monday. I spent most of the morning struggling to stay awake. I was like a zombie as I got my tray of food and sat at my usual table at lunch.

  If I hadn't been so exhausted, I might have noticed sooner that something was off. I didn't even look up with Lydia joined us, sitting on the far side of Zane who was sitting beside me. I didn't think she'd try anything at school. For the moment, I was safe, sandwiched between Evan and Zane.

  I was marginally aware of conversation happening around me. Evan attempted to engage me a couple of times, but I told him I wasn't feeling well and he quit bothering me. I was nearly in another doze when I saw Lydia lean in and give Zane a kiss. Not a sisterly kiss on the cheek either.

  When they finished, I leaned over and whispered, "Great pick. Nobody will ever guess your secret now."

  Zane looked startled. "What are you talking about? I don't understand what you mean."

  Now I felt confused. "You know, about what you told me at James' party the other night? How many secrets do you have anyway?" I laughed.

  He shook his head. "I think that you're confused. James? James Middleton? He's never had a party that I'm aware of. I've been to a couple of his older brother's parties, but none lately and I don't think you've been to one when I have."

  I looked around the table and realized that James wasn't sitting with us. "Where's James?" I asked, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

  Lydia overheard us and laughed "James Middleton? He sits over there." She gestured at a table across the cafeteria where a group of Second Daughters and kids fr
om weak Families hung out. James sat on the end of the table. People surrounded him, but he wasn't talking to any of them and nobody talked to him either. He wasn't wearing his usual flamboyant clothes. His face was cleanly shaven and his hair combed. I was looking at a guy who was trying his hardest not to make waves. That was as far from James' personality as it as possible to be.

  I looked at Lydia. "Didn't you guys used to date?"

  Her nose wrinkled. "Ewwww... never. Anyway, I've been dating Zane for ages. Even if James wasn't totally awful, I haven't been available."

  Mattie nodded in agreement. "None of us would ever date James. Maybe a Second Daughter, but I've never seen him go out with anyone."

  I protested. "But he's from a good Family. His mother is Tatiana Middleton so you know he's from a good bloodline."

  Lydia grinned at me. "If you want him, he's all yours. I don't think you'll have to fight any of us for him."

  Mattie said. "There are lots of guys from good Families. Why would any of us want to be with someone like James?"

  Everyone at the table was looking at me funny.

  "Do you feel ok, Thistle?" Natalie asked me.

  Olivia added, "You look terrible."

  I stood up so abruptly that my chair clattered to its side on the floor. "Actually, I think I'm going to be sick."

  I covered my mouth with my hand and dashed out of the cafeteria in a blind panic. What have I done?

  I saw Krista in the hall in front of me talking to some of her friends. I didn't even bother to find my manners. I just rushed between Krista and one of the girls beside her and grabbed her arm and dragged her away from them. She shrugged at them and let me yank her away.

  She looked concerned. "Thistle, what's wrong?"

  I looked around to make sure nobody was watching us and then pulled her into an empty classroom. "My wish worked. James isn't an arrogant jerk anymore. He's actually so introverted and unsocial that he has no friends and the First Daughters I eat with laughed at the idea of dating him."

  She crossed her arms. "Good. I think it serves him right. He's been awful to people for so long he really deserves this."

  "It's not like he's learning anything from this experience. He doesn't remember being a jackass before." A realization dawned on me. "Wait, why don't we remember this new time line?"

  Krista was quiet for a moment. "Ok, well consider this. When you wished for the dress, do you remember it being made? Or when Viola bought the material. Or the fibers being woven into the cloth?"

  "No, " I admitted, "I only remember going there and having her fit us."

  "So," she continued, "we must only remember things that you wish for at the point where they intersect with our lives. If James is a total loner now, maybe we've never met him in this reality so we have no new memories of him."

  "That makes sense." I agreed. "I have to wish him back to normal. He can't stay like this."

  She sighed. "Too bad, I like the idea of the new and improved James."

  After a moment of reflection that I spent trying to figure out the best wording, I said, "I wish that James Middleton would return to the way he was before I made my last wish."

  Nothing happened. Not only was there no memory of a new time line, I didn't feel the headache or nausea that I suffered from when I made wishes.

  Krista looked at me, confused. "I didn't feel anything."

  "Me either. Come on, we've got to see if he's still the same."

  We had a few more minutes until lunch period was over and we raced to the cafeteria. Please, I'll give anything to see you joking around with the rest of our friends.

  Before we made it to the cafeteria I saw him, slinking quietly along the wall. His hands were jammed into his pockets and his head was down. We stopped running and watched him, but he didn't even seem to notice us as he scuttled away.

  "It didn't work." I said, frustrated.

  Now Krista grabbed me by the arm and led me back towards the empty classroom. "We have to try this with something we can see."

  When we were alone in the classroom again she told me, "Ok, wish for something. Something we can see in front of us."

  I thought of my broken MP3 player. "I wish for a new MP3 player."

  The sensation of being split in two was becoming familiar, and unfortunately, so was the blinding headache and churning stomach. Krista didn't look like she was faring much better.

  She groaned and then said, "Unless I just haven't seen it yet, I don't remember you having a new player."

  From the new time line I remembered that I'd stuck it in my backpack that morning. I reached in and pulled it out. I remembered buying it at an electronics store in Arizona. I'd had it for a few months before we came to Desire. "It's different. My old one broke the other night. This one was in my jacket pocket the other night when I was attacked so it didn't get thrown. In this new time line I've had two for a while. Wow, this one is really nice."

  She rubbed her head absently and said, "Don't get used to it. Now you need to wish it away."

  My stomach lurched. "I've never tried doing two wishes back to back like that. I'm not sure how well I can handle it."

  Krista looked unsympathetic. "If you want to fix James we've got to figure out what you can do."

  I knew she was right, but I dreaded what I had to do. "I wish that I hadn't wished for this MP3 player."

  Although I was braced as much as I could be, nothing happened. The small gadget was still in my hand.

  "Try again." Krista urged me.

  And so I did. I tried over and over again in different ways that Krista and I brainstormed. Nothing we came up allowed me to unwish the player.

  Finally, I admitted defeat. "I don't think I can make something I wished for unhappen."

  She hugged me, "I'm so sorry that we didn't know before you made your wish about James. It's not your fault though. I shouldn't have egged you on."

  I made a weak attempt to smile and reassure her that I was ok, but I knew it was my fault. I thought I was being funny and now the joke had gone too far and there was no way to make up for what I'd done.

  I rejoined my class after the lunch with only a few minutes left in the period. I didn't even acknowledge the teacher when asked for a reason I was late. I wasn't tired anymore. All I could think about was the lasting consequences of my wish. A slip of the tongue and I could ruin lives. I'm a monster.

  The entire afternoon was more of the same. I blamed myself and I couldn't quit thinking about James, sitting alone at lunch. I kept remembering the way I laughed when I made my wish. As if it wasn't a big deal. As if I weren't destroying his whole life.

  I was still thinking about it after my last class when the teacher asked if anyone would volunteer to help her move some boxes of equipment to a store room across the school. I saw Evan waiting for me, looking concerned. I didn't want to have to come up with an excuse to avoid having to explain why I was acting so strange so I told the teacher I'd help. I told Evan I would talk to him later, but right now I had an errand to do for the teacher. He left me then, but he still looked upset.

  The teacher got called in for an unexpected meeting of some committee she chaired. She asked if I minded finishing up on my own. I told her that I didn't. And it was true. I expected the school to be empty by the time I hauled the last box. I could avoid talking to anyone and go home to wallow in my guilt in private.

  It took me longer than I thought it would. I made sure both the storage room and the class were locked before I started home. My hands were jammed into my pockets and my head was down. I could really empathize with the new James because I didn't want to engage with anyone either. I didn't want to see anyone looking at me and I sure didn't want to talk to anybody. Which is how I ended up walking right into Coach Carter. Again.

  Her back was to me so she never even saw me coming. I plowed into her at a decent clip and she was knocked forward onto one knee. She looked over her shoulder and she was snarling.

  When she realized that I wa
s the one who knocked her over, she growled. "You."

  "I'm so sorry." I attempted to help her to her feet but she slapped my hands away.

  Her voice was pitched low, but nobody was around to hear her when she hissed, "You think you're something special, don't you? You're a First Daughter and you think you'll be running the Coven someday."

  She rose to her full height and even at 5'7", she still loomed over me. Her shiny black bob curved around her jaw and I realized that she was really a very beautiful lady, but in a dark way. She could be a vampire, looking gorgeous even as she ripped my throat out.

  I shook my head helplessly. "I don't think I'm special at all. I don't even plan to join the Coven. I just want to graduate and leave town."