All I Want

by Natalie Ann

  Then he thought back to his life in Saratoga. The life he made for himself, the life he wanted to make with Carly. Yeah, he had brothers back home. Not of blood, but of friendship. Not much different than Carly and Brynn, and wasn’t that the best type of family of all?

  Give Me Away

  “Why do you want to make all of these favors by yourself?” Sean asked, picking up one of the pastel pink ribbons. “And I can’t believe our wedding has an Easter theme.”

  “It does not,” she argued. “Just because we’re getting married the week before Easter doesn’t mean it has an Easter theme.” She eyed him when he picked up the mini white wicker baskets and pastel ribbons in a big handful, titling his head at her. “Besides, aren’t you the one who said you wanted a short engagement?”

  “I did. And Alec, Brynn, and Phil are thrilled that we’re getting married before the summer, even though the spring is still pretty busy for them.”

  She snorted. “It’s not like the three of them are working on the site. They can be away for a few days.”

  “That’s true, and they’re only going to be away from the office for two days. Almost everyone is traveling on Friday and will return on Sunday morning.”

  “Tell me again what your father said when you asked him to be your best man,” she said smiling at him, picking up another basket and a ribbon at random and weaving it through the wicker.

  “He cried. He couldn’t believe it. He said he thought for sure I’d ask Phil or Alec, but I said it was always him. He and I weathered the Callahan women together, the least he could do was stand up there next to me and give me away like he did his daughters.”

  “You didn’t tell me you said that to him.”

  “He bawled like a little baby. Then my mother grabbed the phone and said that she thought it was only fair she gave me away, since Dad gave the girls away. I told her if I thought it would stop her from trying to baby me, then she could have the honors.”

  Carly giggled, she could see him saying that to Claire. “What was her response?”

  “She snorted and said my father was going to look wonderful in a tux at the altar.” He took the finished basket out of her hand and handed her another one with a different colored ribbon. “You’re positive you want the reception at the pub?”

  “It’s a little late to change now, don’t you think? And yes, I’m positive.” They were thrilled that they managed to secure the same church all of his sisters were married in, but knew there was no way to get a hall on this short of notice.

  Honestly, Carly thought it was fitting that the reception be held at his family business, but she and Sean insisted that it be catered and no one from his family lift a finger for anything in preparation. His parents were so honored they agreed.

  He walked away and opened the refrigerator and pulled out one of the beers his father had sent him in a care package with soup, a recipe for Carly, plus more double chocolate cookies. “When are you going to make the pretzels?”

  She decided to fill the baskets with mini gourmet pretzel sticks since they were such a big hit, along with chocolate-covered caramels and nuts. Chocolate went well with Easter, and though she insisted it wasn’t an Easter theme, her mind was going back and forth with ideas that led that way. “Not until two weeks before; they will stay fresh if cold. I might even make them just the weekend before.”

  “Carly, you’re crazy. I know you can order them at a candy store. Why stress yourself out over this? It’s not a money issue.”

  He wouldn’t understand. “No, it’s not. It’s my wedding, Sean. I only want to get married once. Since I know you love me and know me so well, you should accept this. You already think I’m this little homemaker,” she said smirking at him. She knew she had him with her statement of knowing her so well.

  “Suzy,” he interrupted her.

  She shook her head. “Fine, Suzy Homemaker. Either way, I always dreamed of doing everything for my wedding. I want it to be homemade with what I like, things I make, a representation of me.”

  “So that’s why you wanted the reception at the pub.”

  “Why’s that?” she asked, wondering if he finally figured it out.

  “You want it to be a representation of me, or my family rather, even though I don’t live there anymore.”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “No,” he said, pulling her forward for a hug and holding her so tight, making her feel so safe and sound.

  She hadn’t felt this safe in longer than she could remember. Maybe never. Even living alone, she’d always jumped at sounds in the night. But since Sean moved in, nothing bothered her anymore.

  His townhouse was so modern and up to date, they decided to put it on the market when they returned from Christmas. She never expected Brynn to sell it in three weeks. Sean was just as happy, packed up what he wanted, put the rest in storage and moved into her house.

  Brynn had said she’d be insulted if Carly put her house up for sale with anyone other than APH Real Estate, but Carly was embarrassed. Her house was nothing like the newly modern and flipped houses that Harper’s built, bought, or sold. Her house was older and had charm. It wasn’t new and modern, even though it was in good condition.

  She’d reluctantly agreed to upgrades first, to help the house sell faster, but refused to lose the character or charm. And she absolutely did not want any type of deal from Harper’s to do the work. They already were starting to build her house first and she knew darn well they weren’t charging her and Sean close to what a house in that development sold for.

  Not that she asked Sean what they sold for. Well, that was a lie, she did ask, and he evaded her question, and then she asked Brynn who did the same thing. In the end, no one would answer her and no matter how much research she did, she knew they were still charging her and Sean significantly less.

  Alec had argued and said it was an employee discount, but Carly didn’t believe him. She finally threw her hands in the air, but she laid the law down on her house. So the compromise was Sean had to do the work, with Brynn and Alec supervising.

  She’d thought Sean would balk over it, but he didn’t. They weren’t doing that much to the house really, just new countertops, repainting her kitchen cabinets, and installing new vanities and tiling in the bathrooms.

  All the supplies had been ordered and were on the way. She was going to struggle with the kitchen being torn apart, she knew that, so she begged and pleaded that he do that first and get it out of the way. He insisted he could do every project over a weekend, especially if Brynn and Alec stopped over and helped.

  If it wasn’t for her being without her kitchen or bath for so long, she’d never have agreed to the help.

  “I wonder who that is,” Carly said when the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll check. It’s probably just the paperboy. You’re the only person I know who still has the local paper delivered and has to pay weekly to some kid.”

  “It’s a good first job for them. Don’t knock it.”

  He walked out shaking his head.

  ***

  Sean opened the door and looked at the older man on the other side filling the doorframe, his deep voice asking, “This is Carly Springfield’s house, right?”

  “Yes. Who are you?” Sean eyed the man. A few inches taller than him with a full head of white hair and wrinkles all around his eyes, the man looked like someone who worked outside and squinted a lot. He had a big barrel chest and thick arms, Sean could tell even under the guy’s winter coat. He looked haggard like he hadn’t slept in days, nor shaved, the shaggy full growth of beard giving that away.

  “Joe Springfield, Carly’s father.”

  Sean froze, not sure what to say or what to do. He knew Carly hadn’t seen her father in over twenty years. He’d never even asked her father’s name before, but looking at the man, he could see some of the similarities. Not in height or build, but in the eyes. They shared the same light brown, almost golden eyes. They even had the same round face. />
  “I know you’re Sean Callahan,” Joe said before Sean had a chance to respond, but he quickly found his bearings.

  “What if I am?”

  “I know Carly is engaged to you; I read it in the paper. I’ve been trying to contact her for a long time and she hasn’t responded back to me. When I read about her engagement, I saw where you worked.”

  “Your car was outside of my office yesterday.” He remembered it now. At the time he didn’t think anything of it, not at first. There was a lot of traffic around their office, but the hair stood up on his neck, something he hadn’t ever remembered feeling in his life. It made him look in the rearview mirror on the way home and he’d noticed the aging blue sedan that was following slowly behind him. The car had turned before he got to Carly’s so he had put it out of his mind. Now he suspected Joe had driven around looking for his car to find Carly’s house.

  “Yeah,” Joe acknowledged. At least he didn’t try to deny it. “Is Carly home? Can I come in?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. She obviously has no wish to see you if you’ve been trying to reach her and she hasn’t responded back.” Carly wasn’t that type of person. There had to be a reason for it.

  Joe ducked his head down, ran his hand over his face in frustration, looked nervously around the neighborhood, then took a few deep breaths. “Will you tell her I stopped by?” He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it over. “My number is on here if she wants to reach me.”

  Sean took the paper and nodded, then shut the door. He was seriously considering just destroying the number, but that wouldn’t be right. He still had no clue what was going on with Carly and her father. It wasn’t his place to keep the information from her, even though he didn’t want to upset her with it.

  He walked back into the kitchen and saw her head down. She was quietly singing to the radio that had been playing low. She always had music on in the house. She never was really much of a TV person that he’d noticed.

  She looked up at him, her eyes so soft, and the happiness was just bursting through as she gazed at him expectantly. Suddenly he felt like what he was going to say was going to wipe that happiness away. He knew it deep down and it killed him.

  “It took you long enough to pay the paperboy. Did he wrangle a bigger tip out of you?” she asked, joking. He always picked on her about getting the paper, but she was right, he always tipped the kids more too. It wasn’t a job he would ever want and figured if the kids were willing to do it and most likely were getting paid peanuts, the least he could do was give them a little more.

  “No. It was your father.”

  Talk To Me

  She didn’t even feel the basket slipping from her hands, or the noise it made as it fell off the table and onto the floor, followed by the ribbon she was threading through it.

  The room started to spin, her breathing increased, and there was a haze all around her, making her shake and want to hide. In a rush, she felt the fear clogging her throat, threatening to choke her.

  “Whoa there,” Sean said, rushing forward and picking her up, cradling her and rushing her to the couch. “Don’t pass out on me.”

  She heard his voice but really didn’t comprehend what he was saying. She was the little girl again hiding in the closet, running away and trying to make herself invisible.

  Pulling out of his arms, she brought her knees to her chest, hid her face on them and started to rock back and forth. Sean didn’t exist to her in that moment, nothing did.

  Nothing but the nausea and the sound of the screaming and yelling in her memories, the furniture and lamps being broken, and her mother crying out in pain that last night it happened, the worst time yet. Her mother coming to her room after her father had been called into work, throwing what clothes and few toys she could in a garbage bag, and whisking Carly away in the middle of a snowstorm.

  The sickening smell of dried blood on her mother’s face and arms mixed in with burnt skin. The tension and pain of every movement that Trisha made during that drive in Pennsylvania to her mother’s house a few towns away. Then when the three of them vanished into the night.

  Memories that Carly had shut away for years. Things she thought maybe she’d imagined from that night all came rushing to the forefront.

  “I have to leave,” she said, gathering herself as much as she could. She was still shaking, she knew it, but she was an adult now. She was strong; she could pull it together and stand up, grab a few things and leave. He knew where she lived now, so she had to escape this town.

  “No. You aren’t going anywhere. Tell me what is going on, Carly.” She heard the pleading in his voice, but didn’t care—she needed to leave.

  “He isn’t outside still, is he?” she asked suddenly. Maybe he was waiting outside for her.

  “No, I turned him away. He said he has been trying to reach you and you haven’t responded. I took that as a sign you wanted nothing to do with him.”

  “I don’t know how he found me.”

  “He said he has been trying to reach you though. He had to have had a clue.”

  “Just email. The email addresses that I’ve used for volunteering. They are handed out at the shelters and they listed me once as a volunteer on their website. Even though it was a national shelter and addresses and cities were not listed, I asked them to take it off once I realized that, but he must have found it, even though I’ve changed the email address multiple times.”

  “Multiple times? How many?”

  “Four. The first time was two years ago when my name was on the site. Then I changed the address, but had the emails sent to that one forwarded to me. I kept all the addresses open, but forwarded emails to me at a different one. I never responded back to them.”

  “Well, he said he read of our engagement. I remember a car following me home yesterday. I didn’t think anything of it, but he confirmed it was him. He can’t hurt you, Carly. Tell me what is going on. I can protect you. You trust me to do that, right?”

  “You don’t know what he’s like. No one can protect us. Oh my God, my mother. I need to call my mother.” She swung her legs over the couch and tried to stand.

  “No. Sit. I’ll call her. Carly, take a few deep breaths. You need to talk to me.”

  “Please,” she begged him. “Call my mother. Warn her. Tell her and my grandmother he is in town and to leave right now.” She wasn’t thinking clearly, she knew that. She wasn’t thinking anything about throwing her job and friends away to leave right away. Her thoughts were formed from fear.

  He walked over and grabbed her phone off the coffee table, put it on speaker and placed a call to Theresa instead. Carly realized that was probably a better bet than calling her mother.

  Theresa blew out a breath. “It took him long enough, but I’m ready for him if he makes an appearance this time. I’ve got a shotgun, and I’m not afraid to use it. We’re good. Take care of Carly. I can take care of Trisha, but I don’t think Joe will show his face around here. Not if he knows what’s good for him. Then again, I hope he does.”

  “Grandma, please don’t do anything foolish. Go to the police, or call the police, please.”

  “Carly, you listen to me. He can’t hurt you, and he’ll have to get through me to get to your mother. You’re not ten anymore and your mother isn’t alone.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Theresa?” Sean asked. “Maybe you should come here. And will someone please tell me what is going on?”

  “Carly,” Theresa said, “tell Sean. He’ll protect you. He needs to know what’s going on. You’ll be fine, Carly. I believe it wholeheartedly. No harm will come to you or Trisha.”

  “Grandma, call me in an hour, please. Just check in.”

  “I will, sweetie, but you are worrying for nothing. Now tell Sean the truth.”

  “Okay,” she said weakly and took the phone out of his hand. She looked at him, saw the recognition in his eyes and didn’t need to hear the next words out of his mouth.

  “He hit
you and your mother, didn’t he?”

  If only, she thought. “He hit me, Sean. He beat my mother.” She picked his hand up, faintly felt the tears slipping down her cheeks and tried to remind herself she was safe. She was in her house, and she was an adult now. She’d counseled plenty of women over the years on what to do and how to handle themselves, yet she never sought counseling herself. In her eyes, the counseling she did for others was a form of counseling for herself.

  Running her fingertips over his knuckles, she asked, “Ever have a fist to the face, Sean?”

  ***

  He was feeling sick. What he saw on her minutes ago when he walked into the kitchen—the paleness, the nausea—all of it was running through him now. “No. I haven’t.”

  “Imagine the biggest meanest person you know. Someone that was at least six inches taller than you and more than a hundred pounds heavier. Now picture him angry, fuming, and more pissed off than you’ve ever seen him before.” Gripping his larger hand with hers, she added, “Now put liquor behind it. All that together, mixed into one, a power keg of emotion aiming right at your face with nothing you can do but take it, because if you fought back, it was only worse. Not that my mother ever fought back.”

  “Why?” he asked. He wasn’t even sure what question he was asking, so many were going through his head at once.

  “Why, what? Why did he beat her? I don’t know. His dinner wasn’t hot enough, she was two minutes late coming home, she smiled at a stranger on the street. You name it, he had a reason.”

  “Was it all the time?” He couldn’t even begin to imagine this, but now things were all starting to fall into place and he honestly felt like a fool for not seeing the signs that were so easily placed in front of him.