Long Lost

by Lexi Blake

  And stopped because Violet was in a playpen, her hands on the top of the wall and her whole body bouncing. She was wearing a pair of footie pajamas, her hair in pigtails, and she was so cute his heart nearly stopped.

  This was why Tag kept Charlotte pregnant all the time. He’d been around a lot of kiddos, but Violet was different. Violet was his.

  Her mother didn’t know it yet, but she was his, too.

  “I was hoping we could talk.”

  “Didn’t I do that all day?” She disappeared into the kitchen.

  “I wanted to talk about Violet.” He stared down at her. There were a couple of toys at her feet, including a worn stuffed bunny that had definitely seen better days.

  The vision of an old stuffed bear hit him. He could see it. They’d called the bear Stanley. It had been his older brother’s. His brother. He had a brother and his name was…

  “Hey, maybe you should sit down. Are you having another episode?”

  He shook it off. Or tried to. His head was starting to pound. His daughter was staring up at him as if she knew something was wrong.

  He didn’t want to scare her. “I should go.”

  “Sit down.” Her hand found his and she tugged him back toward the couch. “Let the memory go. That’s what Rebecca said you need to do. Let it go and think about something that’s happened to you since you came here.”

  She’d asked Rebecca about her protocols when it came to him? Maybe she was curious. She was a doctor. It was one of the things that had brought them together. He loved how she worked with the people around her. But he believed firmly that she didn’t belong in research. She would be so good with patients. They would love her. They would trust her.

  “You’re still thinking about it,” she said in a low tone.

  He was on the couch next to her and suddenly she eased him down, letting him lay his head in her lap. A soft palm eased over his forehead and then he could feel her fingers on his scalp.

  Yeah, he wasn’t thinking about the past anymore.

  “Sorry.” He hadn’t meant to break down in front of her, but that seemed to be all he could do. “The memories are coming faster now, but they’re not complete. They’re little visions. I can remember that I have a brother but I don’t remember his name.”

  “You called him Ace, though I got the feeling that was a nickname.”

  Ace. His brother. Their mom called them Ace and Bub. “What else did I say about him?”

  “Not much. You didn’t talk about your family except to tell me they would like me and I would meet them when we went back to the States.” Her fingers moved over his scalp as she looked down at him. “Is it any better?”

  He closed his eyes, letting himself simply be in the moment. “I’m getting there. Thank you.”

  He didn’t want to break their contact.

  “You wanted to ask about Violet? What do you want to know?”

  “Everything. Were you mad when you found out you were pregnant?” He meant everything. He wanted to know it all—the good, the bad, and the rightfully angry.

  “Oh, I was beyond angry. I was also scared. My sister had been killed and I had gotten that horrible message that I could be next. I realized I couldn’t go home.”

  “Why? I would think it would be easier to hide in the States.”

  “I was afraid to get on a plane, to go through an airport. It’s so easy to find a person. I was scared to go anywhere with security cameras. My mom had friends in a small town in the Bavarian Alps. They found us a house and we spent a lot of money getting not-so-legal documentation. An EU passport is a powerful tool. I can pretty much run anywhere on the continent if I need to without too much security.”

  “So Violet was born in Germany?”

  “Yes. She was born in a small hospital in Oberammergau. I worked there in a shop,” she explained. “Mom worked at a grocery. When I gave birth, I got paid time off. It was nice. I liked being home with Vi, but I want to work again. I want to go home and get back on track.”

  “What was she like?”

  “She was an easy baby. At least that’s what my mom tells me. Violet rarely cried. When she was born I had to ask the doctor if she was healthy because she was so quiet. They put her in my arms and she looked up at me and I realized we were going to be okay. As long as we had each other, we would be all right.”

  He turned and looked at her. Tears shimmered in his eyes. “I didn’t leave you, Roni.”

  “You remember?”

  “No, but I know I didn’t want to leave you. I know deep in my gut that I was trying to get us out. I can’t promise you that I wasn’t involved in what McDonald did. I pray I wasn’t and I had some different reason I was there, but I know everything changed when I met you. I was getting out. I was getting us both out. I can’t remember the hows or the whys, but when I get a vision of that day, I wasn’t leaving you behind.”

  “Are you better now?”

  And his sweet time was done. He eased himself up. “Much. Thank you. You should eat.”

  She stood, smoothing down her T-shirt. “Yeah. Do you want some? These are nice apartments. Does everyone who works here live here, too?”

  Good. She wasn’t kicking him out. “I would love a slice. And yes, for the most part. There’s Nick and Hayley, Brody and Steph, Damon and Penny, of course, though they also have a country house they spend time at. Nina lives in a single. So does Walt. I share with Rob…I guess I don’t anymore since he got married. Without me. It’s rude. Who gets married when his best friend is in a coma? Can I pick her up?”

  Roni set two plates on the table and hesitated for a moment. “I guess so. Sure. She’s doing the grabby hands thing, so she’ll likely insist now.”

  He hesitated. “She’s so small.”

  Roni moved in, bending over and lifting Violet into her arms. “She’s really not. She’s tall for her age and she’s a solid kid. She’s not delicate, as you will learn when she decides to climb all over the place. You can hold her.”

  He found his arms suddenly full of sweet baby girl who immediately started patting his face.

  “You should watch her. She will stick her finger up your nose,” Roni said with a grin. “Do you want a water? I would offer you a beer but the lady who brought us bread and milk and stuff did not bring beer, and that is a mistake when it comes to my mother. She’s way easier to get along with if she’s had a few.”

  “No, baby.” He gently moved Vi’s finger away from his nose and evaded her eye poke. “Your mom does not like me, I take it, and yes, I’ll have a water, and yes, I’ll get you some beer.”

  She opened the pizza box with obvious relish. “I never drank beer until I went to Germany. Now I love it.”

  “There’s a bar downstairs, but it’s not open tonight.” He sank down into his chair, Vi standing on his lap.

  “Nose. Nose.” His daughter grinned at him.

  He touched her nose. “Violet’s nose.”

  “She’s learning parts of the body,” Roni explained. “I’m teaching her in English and German. Die nase.”

  Vi touched his nose again. “Nase.”

  “She already speaks more languages than me. How did I work in Germany and not pick up any German?”

  “Because everyone spoke English in the city. I’ve been out in the country. Almost everyone speaks English there, too, but if you want to fit in, you speak German. And my mom hates everyone. Everyone except Violet and me. But she does hate you in particular since you deflowered her darling girl and left her knocked up.”

  Violet was trying to climb up his body. “Not willingly. I mean I was totally willing to do the knocking up part. Not the leaving part. Wait. What? Deflowered?”

  He’d been her first? She’d been mature to be a virgin. She’d gone all the way through medical school. Had he been a virgin?

  Violet was a monkey determined to sit on top of his head. He gently pulled her down and she started right back up again.

  Roni was grinning, her face li
t with amusement. “Well, she’s my mom. She didn’t know about all my fun times in college. I’m teasing you, Ste…Tucker.”

  He liked how she was looking at him, how she was teasing him. All day she’d been somber as she answered all the questions the different operatives asked. It was good to see her more relaxed. Violet tried to haul herself up by his hair. He winced and stood. “She really likes to climb.”

  “Told you.” She sobered as he started to pace. “What do we do now? I came here because I thought this was going to be over. But it seems like someone is still watching me. How do I handle it? I don’t even know who it is. Obviously, I think it’s probably Kronberg, but I can’t walk in and ask to speak to management.”

  He’d wondered if she’d been planning on leaving as soon as she could. “You stay with us while we figure out what’s going on. We’re trained investigators. I assure you Jax is already working on the problem. If for some reason my team has to move, you stay here and be safe.”

  “Why would you have to move?”

  “Ear.” Violet tugged on his ear.

  How to explain this to her and come out sounding at all like a man who should be trusted with a child. “After I became Tucker, I joined the group of McDonald’s men. At some point Kronberg turned on her or she turned on them and she needed cash. We were trained to rob banks.”

  “Ah, so you’re a wanted man.” She reached for her second slice. “Solo mentioned something about Interpol. Are you trapped in this building?”

  He was trapped in so many ways. “I don’t go out a lot, but earlier this year we realized that the Agency was starting to apply pressure. We needed to move around to keep the heat off Damon. We spent some time in Colorado and then Toronto and Munich. Huh, I just realized everywhere we go one of us gets married. It’s only me now since...well, Munich was hard on my team.”

  They’d lost Sasha. They’d lost Dante. Yes, he’d betrayed them all, but he’d been around for so long it was odd to not see his face.

  Everything was changing. His brothers were moving on and finding their lives. They were all married, and he knew Jax and River were talking about having a baby.

  He had a baby. She was currently laying her head on his shoulder and yawning.

  “So at any moment you could be arrested?”

  He was such good boyfriend material. “Yes, and you should know that. If anyone comes for me, you pretend you don’t know who I am. If we’re together, I’m a guy you recently met and you know nothing, and thank you officer for saving me from the dangerous man.”

  “That seems cold.”

  “No, it’s smart. You’re more important.” He found a rhythm that seemed to have Vi calming down. She patted his chest and her eyes closed.

  Roni stared at him for a moment. “I wish I could believe you’re real.”

  He chuckled. “I just told you I’m wanted by a whole bunch of different authorities and you worry I’m not real? I have no real memory of my past, one of my fun nicknames is Dr. Razor, and according to Rebecca I could pass out or have a cardiac episode at any moment. I’m pretty fucking real. I said fuck. I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me, Violet.”

  “They called you Dr. Razor because anyone who got into a verbal argument with you felt like they’d been in a knife fight,” Roni explained. “You were kind of an ass. They liked to say you could cut pretty deep with words. You didn’t need a scalpel.”

  If only he could believe that was the true reason he had that nickname.

  “I cared about you,” Roni continued quietly. “I think I might have been in love with you, but you hurt me so badly. I understand that you might not have meant to do it, but you also didn’t tell me anything was wrong. You did lie to me. You weren’t going on an interview.”

  He wished he knew what he’d been thinking at the time. He had one real thought. “I hope I was trying to protect you.”

  “But you left me ignorant. You left me so I couldn’t protect myself because I didn’t know what was going on. I still don’t know what’s going on.”

  “I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. I think I was trying to protect you. Or maybe I was trying to protect me. Maybe I didn’t want you to know all the things I’d done. I can’t be sure and I might never be sure. But I promise I’ll do everything I can to help you and our daughter. I made a mistake back then. I won’t make the same one again. I’ll tell you everything.”

  “You don’t know me. That sounds like a dangerous thing to do.”

  That’s what she didn’t understand. “But I do. I know you. I don’t recall your middle name or where you were born, but I know you’re good. I know you like to help people. I know that when I kissed you I felt safe. Isn’t that odd? I can’t remember the first time I kissed you. I couldn’t tell you where it happened or what you were wearing, but I know how I felt.”

  “My middle name is Ann and I was born in Galveston,” she said with a little smile.

  “I don’t have a middle name. I’m not even sure if Tucker is my first name or my last name,” he admitted.

  “Honestly, it’s probably not your name at all,” Roni replied, relaxed again now that they had gotten the emotional stuff out of the way. “But I like it. Somehow it suits you. It’s way better than Razor. Yikes.”

  He’d never liked it either, and he wondered if that dark part of his soul was still lurking somewhere.

  The door came open and Sandra Croft strode in. She was dressed for the gym, her toned body in leggings and a tank top. She stared at him, one hand on her hip before shifting her focus to Roni.

  “Did you listen at all today? He’s got a red notice from Interpol.”

  Roni pushed her chair back. “For something he didn’t really do. Well, he did it but then had his memory wiped, so I don’t know that it should count. Do you want some pizza?”

  “After a two-hour workout?” Sandra’s brow had risen in an aristocratic way. “Of course. I’m starving. You’re sure he’s okay with Violet?”

  “He’s already wrapped around her finger,” Roni replied, getting another plate.

  Sandra looked him over as though sizing him up and finding him wanting. “That would be an excellent way to get into your good graces and potentially use you.”

  “Mom, she did that thing where she tried to put her finger in every orifice of his face then pulled his hair and basically treated him like a jungle gym and he was perfect with her. She’s now drooling all over him and he hasn’t even tried to put her down. He’s cool.”

  There was drool? It was all good. He was typically not great with bacteria, but they shared DNA, so Violet’s drool was basically his. “I wouldn’t hurt my daughter.”

  “You hurt mine,” Sandra replied simply.

  Yeah, Sandra was going to be a hard sell. “I also brought her a pizza.”

  Sandra stared at him and then the faintest hint of a smile broke through her grimness. “Well, then all is forgiven, I suppose.” She held out her hands. “She’s down for the count. I’ll put her in bed. And that better be pepperoni pizza.”

  He had zero illusions that Sandra was suddenly okay with him, but maybe they could reach a cease fire. “American style.”

  He handed off his sleeping daughter and turned to Roni as Sandra disappeared into the larger of the two bedrooms. “Does she have everything she needs?”

  “My mom? All she needs is a utility knife and a water bottle and she can take over the world. The paranoia is simply a part of her soul,” Roni quipped.

  “I was talking about Violet.”

  Roni set another water bottle on the table and he vowed silently to stock the place with beer because if he was eating regularly with his could-be mother-in-law, he was going to need it.

  “This place is well stocked,” she said, sitting back down. “Penny Knight brought us extra training pants. Her son is potty training, too. Luckily Vi won’t care that they’re all blue.”

  “Would she rather have pink?” He could find a way to get pink training pants. He c
ould totally shop on the Internet.

  “That’s the thing. She doesn’t care,” Roni said. “As long as she has Mr. Bunny, she’s cool. She’s a chill kid. I often wonder if all the drama surrounding her somehow made her calm and accepting.”

  “She takes after me,” Sandra said, walking back in and sitting down at the table. Everything about the woman spoke of a military-like economy of movement. “I don’t panic. Ever. I have a cool head. I like to think before acting. I’ve found it always helps to be prepared for everything. You never know when you might need to take action.”

  She said the last with a pointed stare his way. He wondered how long she’d been plotting revenge. “And it also is good to figure out if the person you might want to take action against wasn’t really just an idiot who got caught in a trap not of his own making.”

  Sandra huffed and turned back to her daughter. “They’ve got good facilities here. I worked out with that big blond man. He’s an asshole.”

  “Mom, try to get along,” Roni said with a frown.

  “Oh, if I was twenty years younger I would definitely get along with him. I would climb that man like a tree and make my nest where it counted, if you know what I mean.”

  He thought he might, and it scared him.

  “Mom!”

  “I’m old not dead, and that man is beautiful,” Sandra said with a chuckle. “Actually all of you are. Including all you idiots who got mindwiped. I can understand why you did him, baby. He’s got those soulful eyes that make girls stupid. I bet he’s got abs, too.”

  “Everyone has abs.” He wasn’t sure how he felt about being objectified. Which was weird because he usually didn’t mind. But this was Roni’s mom.

  Sandra snorted. “Yeah, they are not all the same. You should come down and work out with me tomorrow, Roni. I think the Brit is going to be down there.”

  “You know they’re all married, right? Everyone. Except me. I’m not married. I’m not even dating anyone.” He was not mentioning the fact that most of his female experiences since he’d come out of captivity had been with hookers.

  Sandra shrugged. “Again, I can look. I wouldn’t touch a married man, of course, but I have needs.”