Long Lost

by Lexi Blake

  “Which is exactly what she would say if she wanted to distract us so she could make her own play.” Ezra kept on walking.

  “She’s had access for a long time. If she was going to make a move, she would have made it,” Tag said with a long-suffering sigh. “But your butt is so hurt it’s affecting your vision.”

  Ezra set his laptop on the desk. “Fire me, then.”

  “I didn’t hire you in the first place.” Tag’s eyes rolled before turning back to Tucker. “Let Jax know it’s okay for him to do his job. I would threaten the hell out of him, but he’s not going to move until you let him. I trained you too well. The puppies have a pack and they’re tight.”

  Tag had been the one to get them out of that hell they’d been in. He’d only been there to save his brother Theo, and Tucker knew well that most men would have done the job and turned the rest of their sorry asses over to whoever wanted them. Not Ian Taggart. At great personal expense, he’d given them a place to stay. He’d put himself in the crosshairs when he hadn’t had to. He trusted Tag. He owed Tag.

  “Jax, it’s cool.” It turned his stomach but if Tag said this was what needed to happen, he would be patient.

  “It’s already done,” Jax admitted. “I’m actually brilliant at what I do.”

  Tag ignored Jax’s lack of humility. “Thank you, Tucker. I promise I’ll take care of them. We’ll leave for Dallas the day after tomorrow. I’ve got some friends at customs and immigration who I’ll let know we’re coming.”

  Which meant they would probably not look so closely at the documentation Roni, Vi, and Sandra would be flying under. They would be safe with McKay-Taggart.

  “I’ll also make sure she’s got a safe place to stay. Adam’s offered up his guest house,” Tag explained. “We’ll give them twenty-four seven security, and that also means zealously guarding your territory of all invaders foreign and domestic, and other men who sniff around your chick.”

  Tag was a giver. “She’ll need that for a while, but if I’m gone for months, maybe years, you have to help her move on.”

  He didn’t want her to move on, but he had to face the fact that he might never be able to be the kind of husband and father he wanted to be. He might spend the rest of his life on the run. It might end up being a short life.

  Tag put a hand on his shoulder. “I know I haven’t sorted this out yet. I know I’ve shot down every plan you’ve come up with. But I promise it’s not going to be years.”

  He’d had a lot of ideas he’d thought could help, including having them all spit into one of those DNA test things and putting them online to see who they matched with. Tag had pointed out that DNA was one of those things the cops probably had from their various crimes and that they wouldn’t hesitate to use it against them even if they’d only been wanting to find out how much Norwegian blood they had.

  “Solo is right about one thing,” Tag continued. “This whole mess is coming to a head and we’ve got to hunker down and get through it. I want you to try hypnosis again. I know it didn’t work with Ari, but Kai has had some success with it. When you’re settled, I’ll send him out to you.”

  Because the keys to the kingdom might be locked in his fucked-up brain. That was what killed him. He was very likely the one who could give them the bargaining chip they needed. Someone had stolen those files and it was probably him. He’d gone into the Kronberg building and he’d known exactly where the files should have been. He’d known where the safe was hidden. When he’d worked there, he’d been a researcher. How else would he know where the secrets were held if he hadn’t been the one to take them?

  “I’ll do whatever you think is best, but I want to talk to Levi Green, too.” He needed to find out what Levi knew. Yes, he could be lying, but at least that would tell them something.

  Ezra stood back up. “I doubt that’s going to happen. Unless Solo pulls some serious strings, there’s no way they’ll let any of us close to a high-value prisoner.”

  “I don’t know how long he’ll be of high value if he doesn’t talk. Solo says he’s been holding out,” Tag explained. “He still has some influence with the agency. My question is why is he holding out? If he gave them the information they wanted, they would cut a deal with him.”

  “What if I’m the only one who knows? What if I was working for him and I was going to meet him that day?” He’d thought about it a lot since he’d learned Green was supposedly in Paris the same day. What if he’d fallen in love with Veronica and realized he needed an out? What if he’d been willing to cut a deal to hand over valuable information to the Agency in exchange for not getting his ass prosecuted for international crimes? “It’s why I should talk to him.”

  “I’ll run it past Solo,” Tag offered. “I’m only going to agree if we can work out a deal where we share the information with the Agency, but they don’t get physical custody of you.”

  “And I’m going to be there,” Ezra said. “I’m not letting him anywhere near a bunch of Agency assholes without backup. If he goes in, we both go with him.”

  “Agreed.” Tag nodded toward the door. “Can I talk to you in private?”

  He was going to get dressed down for asking Jax to hold up Roni’s documents. He could handle it. It was nice of Tag to not do it in front of everyone. And it didn’t matter because she would be gone soon. She would be on a completely different continent and so would his daughter. He followed Tag out but he couldn’t really feel his feet.

  Tag walked to the end of the hall before turning to him. He glanced back down toward the office. “I don’t think those fuckers can hear us here. We need to talk.”

  “I’m sorry about holding you up.”

  Tag waved that off. “I do get it, man. No, we need to discuss something else. I’m giving you two nights to get her in bed and brand her.”

  That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. “What?”

  “I’m not talking about an actual brand, though Kori totally let Kai do that to her. It was a weird night. I offered to do Charlie and she promised if I touched her with hot metal in an attempt to put a property of sign on her body, she would torch my dick. I believe her so I dropped it. No, I’m talking about an emotional and sexual brand. I’ve watched her a lot over the last couple of days and she wants you. It’s obvious she’s not over you. So, give her something to hold on to and by something I mean your dick. You have to be good at it, man. I know you’ve practiced because I paid for your hookers.”

  He glanced around. “Hey, let’s not say the h word while Roni’s in the building. And I didn’t sleep with most of them. I was looking for connection.”

  “Then they overcharged,” Tag complained. “They should have a cuddle rate. You do realize you always picked the one who looked like her, right? Every single one of those women looked something like Veronica Croft. You didn’t mean to leave her. Or am I wrong and you’re spending every night at her place so you can be with your daughter? That’s fine, too, but if that’s true you shouldn’t implement the plan.”

  “I’m crazy about Roni. I want to marry her.” He knew it deep inside. “What plan? I didn’t realize there was a plan except you’re going to take her back to the States.”

  “The plan where you fuck her so well she’s still waiting for you when you get to come back to the States. That plan. You need to make your move.”

  There was a scenario Tag wasn’t thinking about. “And if I don’t get to come back? If I never clear my name? Then all I’ll have done is hurt her again.”

  It was the last thing he wanted to do. It was precisely why he hadn’t even thought about pushing her. He wanted her, wanted every minute he could get with her, but it might only bring her heartache in the end. Hadn’t he brought her enough of that?

  Tag groaned. “I knew you’d do the martyr thing. You have that look in your eyes, the one that says I’m not going down fighting. It’s stupid. I’m telling you a life secret. Don’t go down at all. You don’t go into a mission saying I hope this works out but ma
ybe I shouldn’t give it my all because it could go wrong and someone might get hurt. Fuck no. You go in believing fully that you will win the day. You will win the girl. In this case it’s more like winning back your baby mama.”

  He winced. “I don’t think we should call her that.”

  Tag shrugged. “Everybody will call her that. I’m planning on introducing her to everyone in Dallas as Tucker’s baby mama. If she doesn’t like it, she can marry you and then I’ll introduce you as Veronica’s husband. See, this is complex psychological manipulation. I’ll handle that part. You do the easy part. Fuck her so well she can’t imagine fucking anyone else. Do you need a playlist? It’s not actually a list. It’s more like a single song set to play over and over again, but it gives you the perfect thrusting rhythm.”

  He was not listening to Guns N’ Roses while he made love to Roni. He would close his eyes and see Big Tag’s head or something. No. Yuck. And he wasn’t making love to Roni. “I’m not trying to be a martyr. I’m trying to hurt her as little as possible. I obviously fucked up the first time. It’s not fair to do it to her again. If I can get us what we need and get back to her in a reasonable amount of time, maybe we can try.”

  Tag frowned his way. “No, what’s not fair is to treat her like she’s some prize to only be won if you survive. She’s not. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that our women, our wives, the ones we would do anything for, need to be more than a freaking prize. If you love her, you tell her and you give her the chance to choose what she wants to do. You trust her enough to know her own mind and to decide if she can be a partner to you. You don’t walk away from your partner because she might get her feelings hurt if you die.”

  He was deliberately misunderstanding. “I’m not walking away because my job is dangerous. I literally have people who would like to cut me open and see how my brain works. She’s in danger around me.”

  “I think she’s in danger whether you’re around or not. Tucker, think about it. According to her she’s been safe for almost three years. She comes out of hiding and suddenly someone knows where Solo’s secret house is? They’ve been watching her. They know she was there the day you went missing. Hell, it could be about whatever her sister found out. Someone thinks she knows something.”

  His gut clenched. “Then we have to protect her.”

  Tag’s eyes rolled. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say.”

  “No, you’ve been telling me to take her to bed.” Which was all he wanted to do. He wanted to wrap her up and never let her get out of bed. Except when Violet was hungry. Or needed a change. Or got fussy. He understood that his courtship was going to involve a lot of baby bodily fluids.

  “Exactly.” Tag nodded like he was happy he’d finally understood.

  Tucker hesitated. “I don’t want to ask. I really don’t, but what do you mean?”

  “I mean she’ll trust you more if you show her how much you care about her.” Tag seemed to get serious. “I mean if she cares about you, she’ll want that memory. There’s this thing from an old poem and it makes me gag even to say it.”

  He knew exactly what Tag was talking about. And he was absolutely going to force him to say it. “What’s the saying? I’m sure I never heard it.”

  Tag groaned. “Fine. ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved’ or something like that. It means life is short. Drink the beer. Fuck the girl. Love her. Let yourself love her. Give her the chance to love you. You don’t know if you’ll get another one. And, man, if you tell anyone we had this talk, I’ll kill you.”

  But only after he’d made his play for Roni. Maybe Tag was right and he was trying to martyr himself. It was better for her to know how he felt. It was better for Roni to know he’d loved her even if it all fell apart. It was better for Violet to know her dad had fought to keep them all together.

  Even if they couldn’t physically be together.

  He could have two nights with her. If he could convince her to give him a chance. Tonight was a play night. The Garden would be lit up and she was curious. He could use that. And he had practiced. Not that he would ever tell her those stories. Ever. “All right. I’ll try.”

  Tag seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank god because the last thing I needed was you being all emotional. Excellent. If you can get her to come to play night, that would be a place to start. I won’t be there. I’m being a perfectly good boy and I’ll be on the computer having a family meal I can’t eat and yelling at my kids so they don’t forget me. They put the laptop in my place and I sit there. Sometimes Bud licks the screen and hits the camera and I get to watch them all through a haze of dog saliva.” Tag sighed and walked toward the elevators. “I need to get home.”

  He watched as Tag walked away. It was a mere moment before Robert was in the hallway.

  “‘It’s better to have loved and lost’?” Robert said with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe he said that.”

  “Jax has that superhearing thing on, doesn’t he?” He hadn’t mentioned to Tag that Jax might have modified his computer to help them hear and see what was going on in the hallway.

  “Oh, when he realized Tag was giving you his version of the dad talk, he recorded that sucker for humanity. I think he’s already making a song out of it,” Robert revealed. “But I’m glad you’re going after Roni. I think you should. Tag is right. You don’t know when you’ll get another chance. And I’ll talk to Adam. I should try to find them.”

  His family. His mother and his brother, who might or might not exist. Who might or might not be alive.

  He held out a hand. “I’ll do anything I can to help you find your family.”

  Robert took it. “And I’ll do anything I can to help you keep yours together.”

  It was a promise between brothers. That was all he could ask.

  * * * *

  It felt good to sit in the courtyard with friends having lunch. How long had it been since she’d gotten to do something normal?

  Granted she’d only known Ariel for a few days, but Robert’s wife was lovely and already felt like a woman she could get close to. Rebecca and she had patched up things the other night in what Ariel called the Great Tequila Peace Treaty. They’d both made mistakes and they’d both been afraid.

  It was time to find some bravery.

  “How are things going with you and Tucker?” Ariel asked in her lovely British accent. Her hair was in its natural curl, forming a halo around her face. “Has he put the moves on you yet?”

  Yeah, maybe bravery would have to wait. “He’s getting to know Violet.”

  “I won’t ever have a Violet if your mother keeps kicking my husband in the balls,” Rebecca said, her hand on the glass of rosé she was enjoying. “I had to hold a bag of frozen peas to his crotch, and you would not believe how much he whined. Balls are delicate things.”

  She winced. It was not the first time Rebecca had mentioned her mom and Owen’s sparring session. “I talked to her. She’s not allowed to spar with Owen anymore. I’m so sorry. She can be intense.”

  “She can be insane,” Rebecca said with a shake of her head. “And you’re avoiding the question. Has Tucker not been trying to hump your leg? I find that difficult to believe. I’ve never met a man who needed physical affection more than Tucker.”

  Was that why he constantly wanted to hold Violet? Why he would get down on the floor and play dolls with her? He was a tall, muscular man and he didn’t seem to mind at all when a tiny girl tried to put a plastic tiara on him.

  He was heartbreakingly good with her daughter. Their daughter.

  “You know why that is, and he wasn’t the only one,” Ariel chided. “Owen humped more than your leg the first chance he got. Like five minutes after he met you.”

  “It was hours,” Rebecca corrected. “But yes, it was that first day. Being stuck in an elevator can be frustrating. We both needed some affection, but I understand what you’re saying. Continue.”

  Ariel grinned at
her friend and did as she’d asked. “Like I was saying, all the lads craved affection. Jax was all over River the night he met her.” Her grin faded. “Robert was the stubborn one, but then he’d been out longer than the rest of them. I suspect Robert was treated better. Not that any of them weren’t tortured, but McDonald seemed more invested in Robert’s group. She treated the group Tucker was in like animals she experimented on before giving her drugs to humans.”

  Roni looked down at the lovely salad in front of her and knew it would taste like ashes in her mouth. Every time she thought about what had happened to Steven, the events that had turned him into Tucker, she wanted to be sick.

  “I’m sorry,” Ariel said. “I know it’s hard to hear, but you should understand what he went through if you’re going to have a relationship with him. Even if it’s only to co-parent. I hope you intend to co-parent with him. I think it would be hard for him if you denied him visits with Violet. Tucker bonds quickly and he’s intensely loyal. Once he got himself kidnapped by Ukrainian mobsters and let them torture him because his friend’s girlfriend had been captured and he wouldn’t let her go alone.”

  “He had a tracking device in his arm,” Rebecca explained. “By letting himself be taken, he led Big Tag and the group right to where Stephanie was being held. He saved them.”

  He’d willingly walked into more torture? Well, he’d mentioned the tracking device was a plus…

  “But he couldn’t have known they wouldn’t simply shoot him and leave his body behind,” Ariel pointed out. “He was willing to take that risk. I say it was because he was loyal to Brody, but I think he would have done it for anyone. He’s that kind of a man.”

  “He was willing to take that stupid drug to save me.” Rebecca sniffled and took a deep breath. “I hate Levi Green.”

  She’d heard a lot of people hated Levi Green.

  “Tell me about it.” Solo stood in the doorway, a plate in her hand and a bottle of water shoved under her arm. “He sucks.”