And how in God’s name was he going to live without it, now that he’d found it?
Not liking that particular question, his beast let out a bloodthirsty roar that echoed through his skull, punching against his insides as it tried to escape, more than ready to take matters into its own hands. It snarled with primal ferocity, demanding that he bite her. Sink his teeth into her. Mark her and claim her, while he still had the chance. Before it was too late and they’d lost her.
It took everything that Aiden had to fight it back, stopping the release of his claws and fangs—and although he managed, his control was weakening. Knowing each second he stayed inside her was madness, he shoved himself into the orgasm, and it was like throwing himself into the burning center of the sun. Like being tossed into a wild, storm-racked ocean, the waves crashing over his head, shoving him under again…and again…and again. His mind whited-out, as the teeth-grinding sensations went on and on, lasting longer than anything he’d ever experienced.
He had his weight balanced on his shaking arms, his head hanging forward, chest rising and falling in a hard rhythm as he fought for breath. She’d come with him, the narrow, cushiony walls of her sex still pulsing around him, a soft, shivery sigh of pleasure falling from her lips as she lifted her hands, running her fingers through the long, tangled mane of his sweat-damp hair. “You’re shaking,” she whispered, snagging his gaze as he opened his eyes, holding him with the sheer power of her will. “You’re still fighting something, Aiden. I wish I knew what it was.”
“It’s nothing,” he murmured, lowering his lips to hers, just needing to lose himself in the perfect taste of her mouth. Despite all that had happened, he still couldn’t bring himself to make that next confession, admitting that everything about her made him want to sink his fangs into her, marking her body as something that was his. Or the fact that if he bit her, after falling in love with her, that mark would be permanent. Binding. Never to be undone.
Not yet, damn it, he thought, ravaging the tender depths of her mouth, so warm and moist and delicious. He wasn’t ready to lose her. She’d been so sweet and accepting, but he knew better than to push his luck. It was hell fighting back the primal, predatory demands of the beast, but he’d keep doing it if it meant he could have her again. Just a few more times before he was forced to put an end to it.
Closing his eyes, he shoved away the stark vision of his future that lingered at the edge of his consciousness, taunting him with how things would be once he lost her, and did everything he could to cling to the moment. But the annoying voice in the back of his mind wouldn’t shut up. Wouldn’t leave him alone.
You’re just living on borrowed time here. Eking it out. When you know, in the end, you’re still gonna crash and burn.
Panic settled in, destroying the hot, molten glow of bliss still filling his belly. The sweat on his skin cooled as he pulled his mouth from hers, the feeling in his gut twisting into a hard, tight burn as he stared down into her questioning eyes. God, he really hated that voice. But it was right. He’d never be able to put his trust in her. Not in the way she deserved. He was too wary and bitter. And no matter what she was feeling at the moment, he couldn’t count on it to last. Not forever. Sooner or later she’d come to her senses. Realize her mistake. And by then, it would be too late.
MESMERIZED AND still a little light-headed from two bone-melting orgasms, Olivia watched the breathtaking play of muscle beneath Aiden’s golden skin as he quietly pulled away from her and moved across the room, heading toward the bathroom. The low glow of light from the desk lamp illuminated the strong, rugged lines of muscle and bone and sinew, his body like a primal, enticing work of art. It dazzled her. Blinded her with its rough, masculine beauty.
But what truly captivated her was the wary, emotionally scarred man who lurked beneath that tough, beautiful surface. That was who had stolen her heart. Who she wanted to shower with tenderness. The man she’d fallen utterly and completely in love with. The feeling was so tender and fragile, like something soft and green just peeking up through the moist earth, seeking the warmth of the sun. She had to be so careful…so cautious, if it was going to have a chance to blossom and thrive.
“Are you going to run away again?” she asked, her stomach knotting as he came out of the bathroom and started to pull on the low-slung jeans he’d been wearing before.
“I’m not running, Liv.” He reached for his thick watch, hooking it around his left wrist. “But it’s going to be time for the guys to head back in soon, and they’re going to need to get some sleep. I’d keep you in here with me all night if I could, but I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.”
She didn’t argue, though she wanted to, for the simple reason that she wanted to stay with him. Be close to him. Instead, she moved to her feet, giving him her back as she collected her scattered pieces of clothing and began slipping them back on. When she went to pull on her jeans she had to steady herself against the wall, her body still shivering with lingering pulses of pleasure, like sensual aftershocks, the memory of what it felt like to have him buried inside her permanently imprinted on her brain. Between her trembling thighs she was swollen and sore, but ridiculously eager to have him again. She’d never known orgasms could be like that. So powerful and wild. A complete loss of self, without panic or fear, because she’d trusted Aiden to be waiting there for her on the other side of the dark, devastating pleasure.
She watched him from the corner of her eye as he pulled on a black sweatshirt and raked his fingers back through the damp strands of his hair, wondering if he’d felt the same. If the experience had been anywhere near as mind-blowing for him as it had been for her.
Wondering, with an odd little pain in her chest, just what it was he was still hiding from her.
When they were both dressed, he walked with her to the door of the bedroom she was sharing with Morgan and Jamie. She started to tell him to be careful while he was out on patrol, but his big, calloused palms were suddenly clamped against the sides of her head, holding her in place as he put his mouth against hers, kissing her with a dark, savage aggression, as if he was starved for the taste of her mouth. When he finally let her breathe again, he pressed his forehead against hers, his thumbs brushing against her sensitive skin with soft, tender strokes as he said, “I don’t have any regrets about what happened between us. I just…I wanted you to know that.”
Then he gave her another hard, deep, bone-melting kiss, and before she could even take in enough air to speak, he’d turned away from her. As she watched him walk across the room, open the door and disappear into the dark, frigid night, Olivia reminded herself that only fools and dreamers wished for happily-ever-afters.
And though she’d never truly realized it until that moment, it had become blindingly clear that she was both.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Virginia
Wednesday
WHATEVER OLIVIA HAD BEEN expecting when Aiden’s friends caught up to them, it was still a shock to her system when they came face-to-face on Tuesday afternoon. She’d never seen so many gorgeous, massive men in one place at one time, and the women were not only beautiful, but as easy to get along with as Morgan. In all, there were seven newcomers to their group. Ian Buchanan and his fiancée, Molly, along with Ian’s brother, Riley, and his fiancée, Hope. Then there was their sister, Saige, and her fiancé, Michael Quinn, as well as a young British archaeologist named Jamison Haley. A quiet, twenty-something near her own age, with golden hair and an easy smile, Jamison seemed as human as Olivia. But he wasn’t. According to Noah, Kierland had been forced to bite Jamison in order to save his life after he’d been tortured by the Casus, turning the Brit from a man to a Lycan. Amazingly, Jamison seemed to have taken to his new preternatural existence as if he’d been born to it, and Olivia had been fascinated by their conversations.
And Jamie, the little flirt, simply adored him, following Jamison wherever he went.
Wanting to spend as little time in the air as poss
ible, they planned to fly out from Maine, and so they were now headed toward the East Coast. Though they could have split up, traveling in smaller groups, they’d opted for the old adage “safety in numbers,” not knowing what to expect during their time on the road. After the attack on Ravenswing, everyone had worried that the Death-Walkers would find them again, but so far there’d been no sign of the creatures…or the Casus. Still, they moved as if they had something nipping at their heels, fully aware that danger was more than likely closing in, hard and fast.
It was Wednesday now, and they’d spent the morning traveling northeast through Virginia until they’d finally stopped at a wooded parkland to stretch their legs for a bit, while Kellan and Noah drove into the nearest town to buy everyone some lunch. Jamie was playing a game of catch with Jamison, and Aiden was on his cell phone, trying to sort out where they could pick up Jamie’s medication, so Olivia settled herself against the weathered trunk of a maple tree and tried to read for a bit. But instead of focusing on the story, her mind kept wandering back to Aiden.
With the frantic pace they’d set, traveling through most of the night, only stopping at a hotel near dawn so that everyone could sleep for a few hours and grab showers, she and Aiden hadn’t had a chance to snag any alone time together. They’d managed to steal a few hurried, desperate kisses—but it hadn’t been nearly enough. She was starved for his touch. For the weight of his body covering her, holding her down. Her emotions might have been in chaos, but her body knew exactly what it wanted.
Problem was, her heart did, as well.
And it was definitely a problem. Despite his wicked smiles and the occasional teasing comment, she could see a tightness around Aiden’s eyes that was more than just his worry for their safety, and she suspected he was having doubts about their relationship or affair or whatever you wanted to call it. He seemed to be keeping a careful kind of emotional distance between them…one that was knotting her insides, setting her on edge.
So much fear churned inside her, and so much hope, the combination making her head spin. Winning his heart wouldn’t be easy, but as she’d lain in bed on Monday night, Olivia had realized that for the first time in her life, she was determined to try…to actually fight for what she wanted. She had let Chris go without a second thought. But she wasn’t prepared to give up so easily on Aiden.
It awed her, the strength it had taken for him to survive what he’d gone through as a child and not let it warp his heart and his soul, turning him into something as vile as the monsters who’d abused him. Instead, he was one of the good guys. A knight in shining armor, bad boy though he might be. But she liked his rough edges. They were the perfect contrast to her nervous, stammering shyness, blasting through her defenses. She couldn’t say no to him, and she didn’t even want to try.
And so that tender shoot of hope inside her had bloomed, opening up, expanding until it filled every cell of her body. Anticipation thrummed through her veins, while her heart felt hot…sticky, soft in her chest, her pulse racing with nervous excitement as she thought about the topic she planned to bring up the next time she and Aiden were alone.
Last night, when Molly had noticed her stealing glances at the faint bite marks healing on the side of her throat, she’d offered to answer her questions. Olivia knew enough about the Merrick to understand that Ian needed to take blood in order to feed the primal aspects of his nature, but she’d been curious about how it felt…and Molly’s answer had made her more curious than ever.
Looking up from the pages of her book, she searched for Aiden and found him leaning against the front of his truck, talking to Quinn, his powerful arms crossed over his chest, while the wind whipped at the long, caramel-colored strands of his hair. She studied the sensual shape of his mouth, and couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like if he were to ever bite her. Sink his fangs into her. Was that something he even wanted? Could it be one of the things he’d been fighting?
As if he could feel the force of her gaze on him, he looked her way, a hard, predatory wave of sexual aggression radiating from his body when he caught her staring. His mouth moved as he said something to Quinn, and then he was walking across the grass, heading straight for her. Whatever he’d seen on her face, it had awakened his own primal instincts, his amber eyes already smoldering with a warm, erotic glow, burning with heat.
By the time he reached her, she’d set her book on the ground and moved to her feet. Aiden grabbed her hand, and immediately started pulling her deeper into the trees. Riley and Morgan were running a perimeter on the area, so she knew they were safe, but she still worried that Jamie might need her, even as her body melted at the idea of being alone with him. Of stealing a few more of his dark, devastating kisses.
“We should stay close to the others,” she burst out, breathless with excitement. “I’m sure Jamison’s going to get tired of playing catch with Jamie and come looking for me.”
“I doubt it,” he murmured, suddenly stopping and crowding her against the wide trunk of a massive oak tree, “considering Jamie’s already got him wrapped around her little finger, just like Noah and Kell. And Molly and Ian have headed over to join them.” His deep-grooved grin was unbearably beautiful. “Ian said something about it being good practice, since he and Mols want to start having kids as soon as possible.”
She was shivering when he leaned down to press a hot kiss against the edge of her jaw. Then stammering when he suddenly reached for the top button on her jeans and flicked it undone. “What are you d-doing?” she gasped, gripping his thick, powerful wrist. “Your friends could come walking over here looking for us!” She sounded so scandalized, Aiden couldn’t help but smile, his chest shaking with a low bark of husky laughter.
“Do you know how much I love it when you go into teacher mode?” he rumbled, bracing his hands against the rough bark on either side of her shoulders, caging her in. “Is that kinky, Liv? You get all puckered up, like you want to lecture me about my spelling or my alphabet, and I go as hard as a rock.” He leaned close, burying his nose against the side of her throat, and she tilted her head to give him better access as he kissed his way up to her ear. “I can hear it now, you using that prim little voice to tell me to ride you harder…to give you more. I’ll refuse, saying you’re too small…too tight, and then you’ll dig your nails into my ass, pulling me deeper, fighting me until I lose it and end up giving you every hard, hungry inch.”
She breathed out his name on a soft, trembling sigh. “We can’t,” she moaned, shaking her head, though he could see how badly she wanted to give in.
“Hmm. Then maybe I’ll just drop to my knees, rip your clothes away and lick you until you’re melting all over my face, screaming my name at the top of your lungs.” He reached between her legs, rubbing his fingers against her tender, swollen flesh, her jeans a frustrating barrier that he wanted out of his way. “I think you need my tongue right here, Liv. Just licking you. Lapping at these sweet, juicy folds.”
She gave a soft laugh, pressing her hands against his chest as she said, “You’re obsessed with oral sex, aren’t you?”
“Can’t help it,” he drawled, rubbing the base of his palm against the top of her mound. “I’m a cat, Liv. We like to lick things that taste good.”
She moaned, her face flushing with color as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back against the tree.
“No one’s going to come over here,” he promised her. “I made sure of it.”
He knew he had her when she opened her eyes, grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him down until she could nip at his bottom lip. “God, I love your mouth.” No stutter. No hesitation. Just smooth, languid words, thick with desire. “You taste so good.”
“Not nearly as good as you,” he growled, tugging again at the buttons on her jeans. “I want to make love to you, Liv. You okay with that?”
“Where?” she gasped, that single word shivering with excitement.
“Out here. Where I can see the sun shining on your skin. Where
I can see every beautiful detail and know that it’s mine to touch. To taste.”
Aiden had never said anything like that to a woman before, but the strange, possessive words were true. The cracks in his composure were getting deeper, and infinitely more dangerous. Desperation filled him, pushed at him, because he knew their time together was coming to an end…that it was slipping away from him with each moment that went by.
Determined to make the most of it while he still could, he held her face in his hands, clutching at her like a lifeline. “Tell me something, Liv.”
“What?”
“Anything,” he whispered against her mouth, rubbing his lips against the petal-like softness of her own. “Everything. I want to know all your dark, dirty little secrets.” And I want you to tell me that this is about more than just getting laid.
Wow. Another whoa moment, right there. One he hadn’t even known was coming.
“That works both ways you know.” She pushed against his chest until she could stare up into his eyes, daring him to look away. “I spill, then you have to spill, too.”
He dropped his hands to his sides, a wry smile tipping the corner of his mouth. “I’ve spilled a lot, Liv. Enough to say I’m surprised as hell that you’re still here.”
Lowering her gaze, she walked a few feet away and braced her hands against a low-hanging branch. “You still have secrets,” she murmured, staring straight ahead. “Things you haven’t told me.”
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