Collide

by Shelly Crane

  The new Special, Marissa, was on the couch near Jeff. She’d been there the whole time, I realized I hadn’t even spoken to her today. She looked tired, but seemed to be enjoying the music, but not the crowd.

  Every time someone bounced too close to her or wiggled the couch she flinched back and recoiled, her knees pulled up to her chest. Like she didn’t want to be touched. I again wondered what this girl had been through.

  I decided maybe we should start the meeting before lunch and get everything out in the open.

  “Jeff. I’m ready whenever you are,” I said smiling.

  “Ok. Great. Danny, you turn that down a notch please. Thanks. Ok. Now we know we have a new addition, if she so chooses. Everyone, this is Marissa, for those of you who haven’t met her. She helped Sherry and Phillip yesterday.” She awkwardly waved and smiled and pulled her knees up tighter. He must’ve been able to tell her shyness because he moved on quickly. “But, we also want to know what else happened on your trip yesterday. Sherry?”

  “Sherry saw a Lighter,” Merrick threw out matter-of-factly before I could speak.

  Everyone froze and gasped. If his intention was to call order to our meeting, he had certainly done that.

  “You did? Where?” Jeff, the concerned Keeper face was back.

  “You really saw one? With your own eyes, you saw one?” Danny was freaking and came over to squat in front of me, not giving me a chance to answer.

  “In the grocery store, the manager’s loft. The walls were all glass.” I looked at Phillip realizing he hadn’t seen it and I hadn’t said anything then to him. “It was when we were leaving, I didn’t tell you because he already looked at me, and I didn’t want to draw any more of his attention.”

  “He looked at you?” Merrick asked swiftly.

  “Guess I fell asleep before I got to that part. It was a glance really, then he smiled right-”

  “What?!” Merrick, Ryan and Jeff said in unison.

  “What do you mean he smiled?” Kay asked and Max stood up across the room.

  “What?” I said puzzled, looking around.

  “What do you mean he smiled at you?” Jeff repeated, pushing himself to the edge of his seat now.

  “I mean he smiled. Ya know...pull up your lips, show teeth in a friendly gesture.” I was trying to joke but no one was amused.

  “Lighters don’t smile, Sherry.” Merrick was breathing heavy now.

  Oh no.

  “So what’s the big deal? I made a mistake then. It wasn’t a Lighter.”

  What kind of can of worms had I opened now.

  “Sherry, you’re a horrible liar. That was it? He looked at you and smiled, and just kept standing there?” Merrick asked breathlessly.

  “Yeah, that was it. They checked our ears at the door, though not Phillip’s. She said she only needed to check one, cause surely I wouldn’t be married to one of ‘them’. I almost forgot about that. That means that a Keeper can go next time if we need to, just make sure one of us goes first and we look cozy.”

  “That’s not a bad idea Sherry but first, I gotta think. If you saw him smile, that only means one thing-” Jeff started but was cut off.

  “Jeff don’t,” Merrick said sharply. “They don’t need this right now.”

  “It can’t be true. Can it? I mean, we just got here,” Ryan argued, looking at Jeff.

  “Come on brothers, be reasonable. This isn’t happening now, it’s too soon. He would let them do the dirty work before he showed up. There’s another explanation, we’re just looking at this from the wrong perspective,” Max chimed in like he sincerely didn’t believe what they were thinking.

  “Merrick, brothers, sisters. We can’t hide this, not this. I think they can handle it.”

  “I wasn’t questioning if they can handle it or not. I just...” Merrick said, looking at the floor defeated.

  “I know, brother. It’s just one more thing to add to the list of things not going our way. It’s time though.” Jeff took a breath and started to begin again but Max cut him off.

  “Jeffrey, wait. We need to make sure first. I mean, what if we tell them this and get everyone all upset and then it’s not true. Maybe Sherry...I don’t know.” He turned to looks at me. “Are you sure he smiled at you?”

  “I want to say no now but yes. I’m sure,” I said wishing I knew how to lie properly. “Why?”

  “Alright. Alright, Jeff.” Max waved his hand at Jeff to continue.

  “He’s here, sooner and even closer than I would have ever imagined. Their leader. They call him the Taker. He’s not like the others, he’s much more powerful. If he’s here...it’s too late.” Jeff scrubbed his hands over his face as Max flopped himself back down on the couch. “We won’t be able to save them, the others. Ah, I thought we had more time. He’s not like the Lighters. He doesn’t persuade, he commands and you can not physically disobey. He can fly too, making him even more dangerous. Eventually, they all will obey him and he is not here to play games. We won’t be able to save the ones influenced by the Lighter speak now. If he’s here...it’s already over.”

  You could hear the breathing, the tiny gasps, the small murmurs. Everyone was stunned and horrified, including me.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before. I didn’t know that was important,” I said, feeling guilty somehow, though my speaking up wouldn’t have changed anything.

  “It’s fine, Sherry. You couldn’t have known,” Jeff said in his soothing Keeper voice.

  “What now?” Trudy spoke up.

  “I don’t know. We can still search for others, but once he’s gotten to them, there is no going back for them. They are lost and can not be saved. Look. Nobody watch the TV anymore. If he’s here, he’ll be on the news soon enough. He’s the only one that can be seen by your media. He’ll take advantage of that and start making preparations for his plans,” Jeff explained.

  “Why’s that? Why can he be seen and not the others?” I asked.

  “Because he was human.”

  Gasp. Gasp. What?

  “What do you mean?”

  “That’s the reason he’s so different. He was once a human, that’s why he smiles, has feelings. He was consumed by a Lighter who came here to take his body, but for whatever reason, somehow fought it, though he was dead, and consumed it instead, absorbed it. He took all the hate and evil of the Lighter in himself. So he’s the worst of the human and the worst or the Lighter. Every time a Taker dies, which has only happened four times in all of history, a new ones comes to take his place when the time is right. They have all the original Taker’s memories and thoughts. He has to absorb life to live and will continue to absorb humans and Lighters until there’s-”

  “Wait. He consumes the Lighters, but they still follow him?” I asked, dragging out the words in disbelief.

  “To the death. He’s their leader. It’s like someone with a gun to your head telling you to dig your own grave. If you thought about it, you wouldn’t dig because they are gonna kill you anyway right? But most people...dig.”

  “Why,” I seemed to be the designated questioner.

  “Scared. Hopeful. Many reasons.”

  Merrick sat quiet by me for a long time while Jeff explained over and over, answering our questions, always patient.

  “If that were possible for him to consume the others like that, would it be possible for you?” Celeste asked from the back corner.

  “I’ve never heard of such a thing. Lighters are our opposites, so if they can do it, most likely we can’t. Well, I say we get started soon. We’ll go out, Merrick and I will call for others, I’m not sure how this is gonna work. I’ve never tried to call nor listen to another Keeper without knowing what to look for, a face, a voice, something but it’s worth a shot. We have enough supplies for now. We can start with a small perimeter and work our way out. In the morning?”

  Jeff was waiting on Merrick’s answer but he was lost in thought. I squeezed his hand to get his attention.

  “Oh yeah.
Yeah. Mornings fine,” he said gruffly.

  Trudy cranked the music back up for lunch, trying to lift sprits. Every one ate our roasted turkey sandwiches and Celeste helped me with the dishes as Marissa dried, still seeming a little overwhelmed.

  Us three sat with Mrs. Trudy for awhile in the kitchen, trying to get Marissa to open up, feel welcome.

  She seemed very insightful, having an opinion about many things, all seeming logical and confident in her answers but shy in the process.

  Phillip seemed to be quite taken by her, good for me, bad for her. She didn’t seem to like it any more than I had. Maybe he needed a better pep talk in less creepy behavior.

  Jeff seemed quite intrigued with her as well. He sat with us at the small kitchen table for a while, asking his own questions, his eyes dancing as she described life with her Keeper in the desert and woods.

  Washing clothes in the big utility sinks was the only way to do it these days. No washing machine down here like the other place, and one shower and one toilet. One.

  That night after dinner and dishes and clothes and showers, not in that order, some settled in for more music. Some continued the discussion with Jeff about the next’s day activities. Some just sat and talked. Merrick and I sat with Danny and Celeste. I wanted us to be easy with each other, no weirdness with us two couples together, and surprisingly, there was none. It was really nice.

  After a while, Merrick went to take a shower and Celeste went to go see what Calvin was up to leaving Danny and I.

  He put his arm around my shoulders like he used to do when we were kids, like he was the older one and I was under his protection. I was quite smaller than him, he pulled it off, no problem.

  “So, whatya think about Celeste?” he asked, finally after dallying with lame questions to throw me off.

  I thought about all the things Celeste said to me about him, all the ways Danny had changed since we’d been on the run, all the faces of love and wonderment I’d seen on Celeste’s face.

  “She’s great, Danny. Really. She’s sweet and... I can tell she really likes you. Be good to her, she’s really good for you.”

  “Yeah. She is sweet...I...really like her.”

  I was glad to see the affection wasn’t one sided. I saw that same look on his face now.

  “Mmhmm. I can see that. I’m happy for you.” He smiled at me sideways. “And you and Merrick seemed to be getting along good too. Is it just a Keeper-Special thing?”

  “No, I don’t think so anyway. We’re friends. He talks to me a lot when you’re not right here. Which is hardly ever.” He shoved me with his arm. “He’s a great guy. I like him. He uh...he talked to me about you, ya know.”

  “What about?”

  “He was kinda...making sure I was ok with it all, I guess. He didn’t want there to be a problem with you and me over him. He... He really loves you, sis. Like really. He doesn’t understand it though. Why you...like him. He asked me if I knew what happened to change your mind about him.” He chuckled. “I told him his guess was as good as mine.”

  “He said that to you?” I asked and Danny smiled and nodded his head. “Wow.”

  “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I’m really happy for you. And mom and dad would be too. They’d most certainly approve of you dating an alien.” That made us both laugh and smile, because it was true.

  Hippies til the end.

  When Merrick returned from his shower he came up behind me and placed his warm hands on my shoulders. His calloused clean fingers ran down my arms and back up to my neck.

  When I turned to him I see his close shaved face and smile and I think about the things Danny just told me. I grabbed his hand before he could sit down. I led him through the wad of people convening on the floor and along walls to our room. Without looking back to see or care what anyone thinks, I pulled him into our dark windowless room and shut the door.

  “I can’t believe you,” I said to start.

  “What?” he asked startled.

  “I can’t believe how incredibly...sweet you are.” I laughed and hugged him around his waist.

  Talking to Danny, huh? That Special and his big mouth.

  I laughed as he squeezed me tighter.

  “Asking permission? That’s very human of you.” I paused but he doesn’t say anything so I went on. “You really can’t see why I’d want to be with you?”

  I asked the question but in my mind it needed no answer. I pull him to me, tip toes as usual. The electricity was there before I even felt his lips on mine. I could smell the soap on his skin and the warmth from the hot shower was still there making his skin extremely hot.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly and met his lips with mine with much force. I wanted him to know I meant business. This wasn’t some game or me just fooling around, biding my time for lack of something to do. I would make him see.

  I love him.

  I traced the edge of his lip with my tongue and gently tugged on the fistfuls of his hair in my hands, I could feel him groan against my lips. He lifted me, pressing me against the wall so he could reach my lips without straining. The tingles jolted through me, making me gasp at the intensity. This is the most worked up I think I’d ever seen him, myself included. I couldn’t believe how quickly I went from giddy to clawing at him in a frenzy.

  He moved to kiss my neck, tracing my collarbone, jaw line, that crazy sensitive spot behind me ear. I couldn’t stop my hands this time, moving in his hair, and on his back. He returned to my lips and the tingling lingered on my collarbone. I pulled up at his shirt hem in my fist as I reached around to his back, pulling him as close to me as I could.

  That did it.

  He let go with a sigh, pulling me back down to the floor and lies down on his back to catch his breath next to me.

  “What is it, Merrick? Why do you always do that?”

  “I can’t, Sherry. More like...I won’t.”

  So. My intentions were clear.

  “I understand the chivalry, I appreciate it even, but I don’t think the rules are the same for apocalypse.”

  “I’m not gonna do that to you. You believe in waiting until your married, I’ve heard you say it a thousand times.”

  No point in holding back now.

  “I love you, Merrick.”

  It was dark and I couldn’t see his face though I knew he could see mine, which made waiting for him to respond even more difficult. He already told me he loved me so I can’t imagine the response not being happy. But still, nothing.

  “Merrick?”

  He was breathing faster. What does that mean?

  “Merrick? Please. What’s the matter?”

  “You...love me?” he breathed the words out, like they were really that unbelievable.

  “Yes. I do. What is it?” I repeated with more force, he was scaring me.

  “Don’t say it unless you mean it, Sherry.”

  “I wouldn’t do that!”

  “I just... I’m not human.”

  “Yeah, and I’m not what you are but you still love me, don’t you?”

  “But...how can you love me? I can’t give you things, human things. I’ll never be normal...I...”

  “Merrick, do you not know me at all? I’ve been waiting for someone like you my whole life. Someone who knows me completely but can see past my faults and blemishes. You are exactly what I want, need. Don’t act like you’re nothing.”

  “You’re so young. I just thought you were having fun. I never thought you would actually...could actually love me.”

  “Merrick, I am not like that! I wouldn’t do that to you or anybody. I’m not gonna kiss, sleep with or do anything else...with someone I don’t feel something for.”

  He sighed long and loud.

  “I don’t know what to say, Sherry.”

  My heart skipped painfully.

  “Why aren’t you happy?” I asked and heard my voice catch.

  I felt my breath getting heavy and my brain felt fuzzy. I couldn’t und
erstand it. Did he not love me anymore? Was that why he was doing this? Was he the one just having fun? He hadn’t said he loved me since that first time he confessed to me. Maybe there was a reason for it.

  “I just can’t believe this. Are you sure you’re not just reacting because of my feelings for you? Wanting to make me happy? I’m not gonna push you, Sherry. I just want you to be happy. I’ll take you anyway I can get you. You don’t have to do this.”

  Well, maybe not. He just flat out couldn’t believe that I loved him. So I dodged his question with a question of my own.

  “Why are you trying so hard to talk me out of this?”

  “I’m not. I’ve just been waiting for you to wake up...to realize this is crazy, and it’s not what you want,” he said desperately.

  “That’s not gonna happen.”

  He was quiet for a minute, coming up with something else to say. Or another argument. Then he repeated a previous argument but I was ready this time.

  “I can’t give you things-”

  “Weren’t you watching that day? The day at the doctors?”

  “You know I was.”

  “Well, then you should know that you’re not making me miss anything. An inhospitable womb is still just that. I can’t have kids, ever, even if I am dating an angel.”

  “I wouldn’t call myself that.”

  “I would.”

  I felt his hands on my face. Caressing my cheeks, my earlobes, my jaw.

  “You promise this is what you want? I know you, Sherry Elizabeth. You can’t lie to me. You want to be with me and not just because I want to be with you?”

  “If you know I can’t lie then you should already know the answer. I love you.”

  “I love you,” he said and sighed as he pressed his forehead to mine.

  Defeat never sounded so good.