by Amanda Kay
“We do.” She smiled again, and relief washed over me. She had found a way to set herself free. To set Caiden free. “Bryson, will you join us?” Looking my way.
“Caiden, do you want me to?” I directed at him, because if he didn’t want me there, then I would decline his mother. Caiden needed to know I was in his corner no matter how that looked for him.
“Please,” his voice cracked. I reached for his hand, taking it in mine. I could see acceptance in his mother’s eyes, so I didn’t fear that Caiden would be scolded for the affection we were showing each other.
Chapter 25
CAIDEN
I was sitting next to Bryson, waiting to find out what was truly going on.
“Sue, did you think about my offer?”
I fixed my eyes on Ms. Trevino. What had she proposed?
“I did, Charlotte.” She looked my way, and I held my breath. “I’m sorry, Caiden. I’m sorry for turning my back on you.” That didn’t really answer the questions swirling around in my head.
“Did you make that list we discussed?”
My mother nodded and handed over a piece of paper to Ms. Trevino.
“Bryson, take this. Go get Bennett and go across the street. Get everything on it. Caiden, go with them and get what you need.”
“What?” I said in whoosh as I felt suddenly dizzy. “Are we going somewhere?”
“Yes, son, we are.” I swallowed hard. No, no I wouldn’t go to a shelter.
“I don’t want to go to a shelter.” I looked toward Ms. Trevino. “I need that money you helped me to deposit. I’ll work however many hours I need to. I can go to school online. But I don’t want to move into a shelter.” Bryson put his arm around me, and it helped me to relax mildly.
“Caiden, we aren’t going to a shelter.”
“We aren’t?”
She shook her head, and Ms. Trevino took over speaking. “I have an apartment above my garage with a private entrance along the side of the house. My oldest son was going to use it when he went to college, but we talked, and he agreed to just stay in the house while he attended school.”
“Bennett isn’t going away for college?” Bryson asked suddenly.
“No, bro, I’m not. We can discuss it later.”
Bryson and I both turned his way and he winked.
I looked back toward my mom and Ms. Trevino, hoping there was more. “Your mom is going to work with me. She’ll go to work with me in my car.” She stressed every word, and I knew she wanted me to know she took responsibility for my mom’s safety. “You’ll ride to school with Bryson and to work with him. If he has to stay for practice, you can stay or ride home with Bennett.”
Tears filled my eyes as I began to realize that this wasn’t something just decided spur of the moment. This was something they had been discussing for longer than a day. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Off you boys go. Mark will be home Sunday. We need you two settled completely before then.”
I nodded and the words stuck in my throat.
“You okay?” Bryson whispered right against my ear. I nodded again. He gripped my hand and tugged me up, “Let’s go.”
I nodded once more and followed him and Bennett across the street. I was free. I had gotten my mom back, or at least what she had said to Bryson in the drive made me think I had. The emotions of it all were almost too much and when I stepped inside my bedroom, I fell to my knees.
“Thank you, Grandpa. Thank you, Corbin. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
“Do you need help?” I turned and found him leaning against my doorframe. The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t judging me for the emotions I was currently displaying. I shook my head and he left me alone to gather my things. I wanted to make sure whatever was on my mom’s list got over to our new place. I needed some space anyway. I needed to allow this new reality to sink in.
BRYSON
I found Bennett reading the list and putting items in a bag. “When did you decide to stay?”
“After Mercer’s death.” I nodded.
“Thanks, Ben. Thank you so much.”
My brother clasped my shoulder. “I saw the abuse too. I was happy to help.”
I nodded again. “Speaking of help, let me see the list.” He handed me the list, and I looked it over, making sure I checked off what I gathered as Bennett did the same. We were done within the hour.
“Is Caiden done?”
I shrugged. “I’ll go check, you take this.”
I found Caiden standing in his room, looking like he was still processing the turn of events. “You okay?”
He looked my way and frowned. “I want to be happy about this, but...”
“You’re scared.”
“Terrified.” He chuckled lightly.
I rested my hands on his shoulders firmly. “I won’t let him hurt you.”
His eyes closed and he nodded. I wished I could read the thoughts racing in his mind, but I knew he’d tell me when he was ready.
“Want to lend me a hand?”
“Absolutely.” He handed me some bags and then grabbed what looked like a laptop case and some other bags. He looked back at his room one more time and then closed the door.
“Let’s get out of here,” He smiled.
I didn’t voice the words, but the thought I had was with pleasure.
CAIDEN
Bryson’s family helped us settle in, invited us to dinner, and left us alone. “What’s wrong, Caiden? I thought you’d be happy about this.”
I looked at her. “I am happy, but I’m scared too. Mark is not a nice guy, and we’re just across the street.”
She cupped my face in her hands, something she hadn’t done for years, “Charlotte is helping with all the legal stuff.”
I smiled, trying to quash the fears I felt. “Thank you for this, Mom.” She gently patted my cheek, and I felt like that little boy again who she fully accepted.
“Come sit; I want to know about Bryson.”
“You do?” My voice raised at least an octave in surprise.
She patted the couch, gesturing for me to sit next to her. “Of course, I do.”
“I’m not sure what to tell you. You quit accepting me. You allowed Mark inside your head. You abandoned me. And when Mark turned the abuse on me, you allowed him to punish me for something you once were okay with.” Before we could talk, I had to voice my hurt. My anger.
She looked down and sighed. “I know, Caiden, and there isn’t enough life left to apologize to you, my dear son, but know I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you leave him sooner?”
She looked away from me, and I held my breath. “I was scared is the simple answer.”
I wasn’t buying that. I had offered to go to school online and get a job. I knew with the booze and pills he had her on, she wouldn’t be able to work, but just last week, I caught her throwing that stuff away, which gave me some hope.
“He’s scary, but what’s the actual answer?” I ground out.
“I love him, Caiden. He was good to me once.” She was still looking away from me, and I winced at her words. Yeah, once. She looked up, her eyes meeting mine as she covered my hand with hers. “I know you don’t understand, and I likely could never explain it enough so that you would be satisfied.” She sighed again, “I talked with Charlotte about it, but she’s not right in the center of it, so it was easier.”
I swallowed. “How did this arrangement happen?”
“Charlotte and I have been talking every day since you threw her card at me. I would make appointments with her when Mark was gone, and she would come home for lunch to talk with me. At first, we just talked about you and Bryson, and then it spiraled into helping us break free from Mark.” Her eyes locked with mine and she squeezed my hand. “I didn’t want to leave Mark. I wasn’t sure what the future would hold for us if I did that. He’s not the same man that I married. I don’t know what happened, but after we lost your grandfather, my life spiraled downward. Mark helped
pick up the pieces and then he used my grief and my weaknesses to take advantage of me.” I nodded. “I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to him. Charlotte told me she understood. Told me that she went through something similar, but she found her strength when her husband set his sights on Bennett. Bryson was two, and she said she would rather die than allow him to hurt her boys.”
I swallowed. “Was he their father?” Bryson hadn’t mentioned this, but if he was two, he likely didn’t remember, and knowing what I knew of Ms. Trevino, she didn’t rehash it with them.
“Sadly, yes.” She closed her eyes briefly. “I lost your father in a car crash and I would’ve died if your grandfather hadn’t been there. When I met Mark, he felt like a dream come true. A prayer answered, maybe deep down inside, he was always this person, and I blocked it out. I know, when he gets back, he’ll come for us.” Her tone in that moment alerted me.
“What will we do?”
“Charlotte is going to help me with that. You worry about school. You worry about yourself and Bryson. I’ll handle the rest.” I heard her, but I knew that if Mark got anywhere near her, she’d crumble at his feet. She wasn’t good at hiding her weakness.
He knew exactly how to play her, and it would be over my dead body that I would allow that to happen again. I knew, when he got home, I’d bend to his will to keep her out of harm’s way.
BRYSON
He sat across from me at dinner, and even though I saw some relief in his eyes, I also still saw the enormous weight from the fear he carried around.
“So, Bryson,” Mrs. Rogers said, drawing my gaze away from Caiden for the moment. “Caiden told me you play baseball.”
“I do,” I answered shortly, taking a bite of my dinner. My mind flashed back to the driveway and Caiden wincing as his mother went to touch his cheek. Stop it, Bryson. This isn’t your business. Be nice.
“What’s wrong?” Bennett leaned over and whispered into my ear. I shook my head, telling him I didn’t want to discuss it.
My eyes found Caiden’s again, and he sighed. I knew he could read my thoughts just by the look on his face. “After dinner, can we talk, Bry?” he asked in a shaky breath in front of everyone.
“Yes,” I agreed; that was what I needed. I needed for him to talk to me. To tell me what he wanted to tell about his life.
My mom studied me, and I knew a question was coming. “Everything okay?”
I bit my lip afraid to speak. I stared at Caiden, hoping he could read my mind. He looked down at the table and I heard him sigh.
“I think I know what this is about,” Mrs. Rogers whispered. I looked her way and knew she could hear my inaudible question.
“It’s not my business,” I tried to deflect. It wasn’t and I didn’t want to arbitrarily cross one of his lines.
“Caiden can give you the details if he wants to, but yes, I have hit him.” I swallowed hard.
“Mom,” Caiden rasped lowly.
She looked his way and frowned. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
He nodded. “I know.” He looked over at me and I knew that I crossed the line I was afraid of crossing.
CAIDEN
I was trying to not be mad at him. He never actually voiced the question running through his head, but everyone at the table knew something was wrong. I shouldn’t be mad that my mom figured out what he hadn’t asked and answered it. Yet, here I was, standing on the opposite side of the backyard, fuming. It wasn’t just him that had ended up hearing that my mom had hit me as well. His mom heard it, and so did his brother. I didn’t want her judged.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice very near. I kept my eyes on the fence. If I looked his way, I was going to blow up at him, and deep down, I knew he didn’t deserve that. “Caiden, did you hear me? I said, I’m sorry.”
I swallowed and replied tersely, “Yeah.” He sighed, and my guilt threatened to overtake my anger. I was hurting him. Why? I didn’t have that answer.
“I know I crossed a line. I was trying to keep my emotions in check, but it’s not me. Especially, when I care for someone.”
I squeezed my eyes tight. There was that word again, care. I knew he cared, he had only ever showed me he cared, even when telling me he loved Corbin. He was being honest with me. Not hiding from me.
“I know.” I could feel his breath because he was now standing so close to me. I couldn’t think. “Can you back up?” He didn’t speak but I heard his feet shuffle in the grass. I breathed in relief.
“I’m not asking you to tell me,” he started, “just know I’m sorry.” The grass crunched as he moved even further away.
I took out my phone, I felt comfortable in text. Being in front of Bryson or having him near sent my heart into a spiral, because I was falling in love with him. I was sure of it, but I knew neither one of us were ready for that.
CAIDEN: She didn’t want to.
BRYSON: He forced her to?
I liked that he got me. I liked that he understood how I needed to communicate.
CAIDEN: I’m not mad at you.
BRYSON: That relieves me.
CAIDEN: This is all so...I’m not sure if I have the words.
BRYSON: I get it. I’m here if you find them, but I’m not going to push you. I care, Caiden. I care so much it scares me.
CAIDEN: It scares me too. I’ve always known I was different, and when I figured out why, I embraced it. You’re only just discovering this side of you, and I don’t want to be some pet project.
There, that was where my problem was. Was Bryson truly gay or was he just going on a feeling and what Corbin had told him?
He didn’t respond, and I stood there staring at my phone. Eventually, it fell out of my hand. All my fears swirled around my head. Had this been too good to be true? Did I just end my friendship with him? Damn it, Caiden. Why couldn’t you just keep that thought to yourself. But then, something amazing happened...
His arms circled around me and his voice was in my ear. “I’m so sorry. You aren’t some pet project. Yes, my emotions are still all over the place, but I care. I genuinely care, please know this.”
I turned in his arms and circled my arms around his neck. In the small light coming from the porch, I could see his eyes were wet. I could feel how much he cared, and I owed to him that acknowledgment. It was a great relief to me to hear the words he had spoken to me. “I can feel that you care.” He let out a breath and a light chuckle, squeezing me to him.
Finally, he released me, and I missed the embrace immediately. “Talk tomorrow?”
I nodded, and he walked me over to the entry to my new home. He kissed my cheek. “Goodnight, Caiden.”
I smiled at him and responded to his kiss by kissing his cheek. “Goodnight, Bryson.” He smiled and allowed me to go up to the apartment that was a beautiful gift.
BRYSON
I was staring out the window, looking across the street. I wanted to feel good about Caiden and his mom living here, but the fact that a car was now in the driveway, when it wasn’t due back until Sunday, had me worried. From all Caiden had shared with me, I had learned one thing. He would protect his mom at all costs, and that worried me to death.
“Everything all right, Bry?” I looked toward my door to find Bennett leaning against the doorframe. I didn’t want to think about what might end up happening now that Mark was home, so I shifted my focus to the issues swirling around in my brother’s life.
“Shouldn’t I ask you that question?” He sighed. “It wasn’t mutual between you and Kimber, was it? You don’t want to break up. You feel like she is your one?”
He held up his hand, stopping my questions. “Yes, to everything. It wasn’t mutual, she got mad at me when I decided I was staying here. I am hoping the one-month trial long distance thing will help her to realize we are good together.”
“You told me it was a year,” I whispered, upset he had lied to me. Why had he lied to me? Bennett and I had always been able to talk to each other.
“Look, bro, I’
m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, but you had your own issues.” He wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t want that to jeopardize our relationship.
“I don’t want to lose what we have, Ben. We’ve always been honest with each other.”
He swallowed. “I know, and it’s why I made the tough choice to not follow Kimber to college. When Mercer died, I was worried about you, and I’m still worried about you. I’m worried about Caiden too. I’m here for you. For you both.”
“Mark’s home,” I muttered, turning back to the window. I felt Bennett come up behind me.
“You think he knows they’re gone?”
I sighed. “I don’t know how he would.” Just then, my computer pinged. I walked over to it and found a message from Corbin.
He knows.
How, Corbin?
I don’t have the answer yet, Bry.
“Are you seriously talking to Mercer?”
“Shhh...,” I snapped.
Hi, Ben.
Corbin, knock it off. Does Mark know they are here?
He might not know for sure, but I think he does.
“Bry?”
“What, Ben?” I hissed, still trying to figure out what needed to happen next to save Caiden. They should’ve had two nights completely free from any thoughts of Mark, but now, here he was, back from his business trip early.
“You need to come see this.” I huffed and got up. When I reached my window, I saw something that tore me to pieces. Caiden was walking across the street. Frantically, I found my phone and called him, but it went to voicemail.
He turned around when he reached the other side of the street and shook his head. “He doesn’t want my help.” I whispered, and my computer pinged again. I couldn’t face the truth. I stood staring out the window as Caiden walked into the house. As he walked right into his tormentor’s arms.
“Bry, Corbin says he doesn’t have a choice.”
“No, he doesn’t, because of his mom. All of this is because he wants to protect his mom.”
Bennett walked toward me and squeezed my shoulder. “Trust that he knows what he’s doing.”
“I do, but I also know that he’ll be hurt.”