Alone

by Abigail Wallace

  “Normal people who built a bunker with extra rooms in it before the attacks.” I remind myself.

  “Are you alright hon?” Laura’s voice draws me out of my thoughts and back to the absurdly clean cafeteria we’ve been sitting in. I stare blankly at her for a moment while I process her question.

  “Yeah.” I reply, my voice giving out on me halfway through the word. “I’m just exhausted.” I admit.

  “Come on, let’s get you a change of clothes and some sheets and then you can sleep all you want. It’s safe in here. I promise.” She smiles. I nod at her, smiling back.

  “Rest well.” Richard says to me as the two of us rise from our seats at the table and walk back out the large, glass door.

  As we walk further down the hallway, I read the labels on each of the glass doors. “Gym”, “School”, “Church”. They seem to have a room for everything.

  “So, Laura, how long has this place been here?” I ask, hoping to learn more about the bunker. Hoping to find some sort of reason to execute my plan.

  “Couple years.” she replies. “Some military guys came in and built it. Not sure why, but we sure are lucky they did.”

  “Yeah, I bet.” I mumble as I breath in the clean smell of the laundry room. “And you guys just moved in after the bombings?”

  “Before, actually. We saw all the reports and my brother, Doctor Fowler, suggested we seek cover in this bunker. He was a part of the team that was building it at the time.”

  “Where are all the soldiers?” I continue to pry. At this point I’m not sure I could keep myself from asking questions even if I wanted to. All of this sounds completely innocent, but then what were they worried about Kat finding out?

  “They’re here.” she replies. “They’re just not in uniform, toting around rifles. We haven’t really needed them. There isn’t really anyone out there to be afraid of, and the people here are extremely peaceful…for the most part.”

  “Anyway, here we are.” She opens a wooden door leading to a small bedroom and flips the light switch just inside the room, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen artificial light. In the corner of the room is a bed with a folded quilt laying on the edge, the walls are painted a light gray with photos of what life used to be mounted on them.

  “Sleep well, Scarlet. I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions in the morning.” Laura says closing the door before I could reply, leaving me to my lonesome. I sigh, turning in a circle, taking in the whole room. It’s cozy. It looks like the rooms we had in our homes before all of this, it looks…normal. Not my normal, not anymore, but the normal that used to be.

  I gently lay my bag on the floor and make my bed. I’ll have to admit that I am excited to get to sleep in an actual bed again, but a sadness creeps into my heart as I realize, I’ll also be sleeping alone.

  There won’t be any late night talks with Ally or Kat tonight. There won’t be any late night talks with Kat ever again, maybe not with Ally either. I lay on my side and cover myself with the quilt, staring at my backpack.

  I feel my eyes fill with tears, I have no need to hold them back. Nobody’s here to see me cry. I am now completely and utterly alone.

  As I lay in silence with nothing but the sound of my shaky breaths to keep me company I question whether leaving them behind was the right choice. I question whether leaving Alec’s was the right choice.

  “They’d follow you into Hell if you walked towards it” Reese’s voice echoes in my head. I think about the rest of our conversation. If this place is the reason that Kat did what she did, then I want to know what she knew. I want to end this. But I also want my family back and something tells me I can’t have both.

  I go deeper and deeper into my thoughts until finally I can’t wade through the swamp of my memories and fears anymore and sleep takes hold of my body. My eyes drift gently closed and I fade into an effortless and dreamless sleep.

  11

  Shark

  “Come on guys!” I rush to get us all packed. I should have known she’d pull something like this. I should’ve known she’d run. “We need to catch up to her.”

  “Shark,” Ally puts her hand on my shoulder, “calm down. We’ll find her. She’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, come eat breakfast. We can leave after.” Kevin suggests.

  “No!” I snap. “We need to leave right now. We don’t have time to eat breakfast.” Kevin shudders a little, putting the food back in his bag. I can’t imagine what Nathan will do to her when she gets there. I can’t protect her if I’m not there. I begin to walk away from the others, towards the bunker. Either they’ll follow or they won’t. I don’t care, I have to get to her.

  “Shark,” Alec comes jogging after me to catch up. The others walk slowly behind. “I know you’re worried. I’m with ya on that. But we have to eat. We’re no good to her if we don’t make it there alive. We have to take care of ourselves.”

  I stop and look at him. Thinking for a minute. If we waste time, we could be putting her life at risk. But he’s right. We need our strength. I look at the group behind us. Exhausted after a restless night. I scratch the back of my head.

  “Fine.” I finally give in. “Eat quick. We don’t have much time to waste.” Alec nods gratefully and goes to join the others.

  “Come eat Shark.” Ally says gently. I hesitate but I am hungry and I know I can’t go long on an empty stomach. I smile at Ally, always making sure we’re fed and healthy. We eat fast. I don’t allow them to waste any time on conversation.

  “Okay. Now we can go.” Alec says. He takes over the lead. He was always much better at leading than I. I always find myself following, often blindly. “Scarlet probably left late last night. She’s smart, she would’ve gone right after we fell asleep. Let’s be fast.”

  We follow Kevin in the direction of the bunker.

  Alec comes up beside me as we walk swiftly, the sun beating down on us from the cloudless sky. Thanks to Scarlet, Alec and I have bonded over worrying about her. We’ve grown used to monitoring her behaviour, especially the last couple months. She’s begun to sneak off. Nobody knows where. She’s been secretive and defensive. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep last night. I knew she’d do something stupid.

  “It’s not your fault.” Alec says. He always seems to know when I’m beating myself up over her.

  “I don’t know Alec. I should have seen it coming.”

  “Maybe, but it was her choice to run off. Even if you were awake, you couldn’t have stopped her.”

  He’s right. I never have been able to talk Scarlet out of something. Not when she has her heart set on it. But I could have tried.

  “I’m gonna kill her when we find her though.” Alec grumbles.

  I haven’t decided how I’ll react when we catch up to her. I guess we’ll find out when we get there.

  We spend the afternoon in our own worlds, each of us thinking of something. Me, thinking of her. She’s all I’ve thought about since I met her. My memory brings me to her first day at Alec’s. I was drawn to her, I don’t know exactly what it was. She was bold, passionate. It was something I always wished for in myself. She was unafraid, willing to stand up to Alec on her first day.

  I let myself drift back to that day. Back before everything got so complicated.

  She’d come into the dining room. A curious look on her face.

  “Everyone, this is Scarlet.” Kevin introduced her. She was small, her dirty blonde hair in a loose ponytail. I pretended I didn’t know she was looking at me. I focused my attention on Evan, he was my mission after all. Watch Evan and report back. Make sure he doesn’t share information, make sure he’s not planning anything and report back.

  Later that day after dinner, she came and sat by me. I had to remind myself why I was there. I wasn’t there to get distracted by a girl. I was there to watch Evan and report back, nothing more, nothing less.

  I couldn’t help but stare. Her eyes were focused on the floor while she thought up what to say.


  “Is your name really Shark?” She began. She knew it wasn’t, I had heard Kat tell her earlier. The name Shark was given to me by Kat when I wouldn’t introduce myself. I couldn’t reveal my name to them, in case Evan had heard of me before then. I wasn’t a fan of the name Shark, it seemed stupid to me. But I didn’t protest. I looked away from her, I couldn’t get caught up in this now. I couldn’t let myself get distracted. “Um…Okay, not a talker.” I watched her fold her hands and rest them in her lap.

  “I’m sorry.” I found myself thinking. I didn’t want to ignore her, I wanted to get to know her. But my mission.

  “I’m from D.C.” She didn’t give up on the already dead conversation. I found myself amused by her persistence.

  “I know.” I replied dryly. I watched a sad smile form and fade on her lips. I instantly loved that sad smile.

  “Where are you from?” she asked. I couldn’t answer that. I couldn’t blow my cover. I wanted to keep talking to her. More than anything, but I found myself scooting away. I heard her sigh, frustrated that she couldn’t get more. I felt horrible. I watched as she stood and walked away, my heart sitting in my stomach.

  Immediately after, I watched as Evan began a conversation with her. I heard most of it, the two of them didn’t even remember I was there. He didn’t tell her about the bunker, but I sensed that he might. I sensed that he might try to convince her to help with whatever he had been planning. I convinced myself then that it would be in the best interest of my mission, if I got close to her.

  “Shark.” Alec startles me back to the present. “You good?”

  I shake my head clear, “Yeah. I was just thinking.”

  “About Scarlet?”

  “What else?” I shrug. I find myself wanting to go back to that memory. I want to keep remembering those days, before she became distant and defensive.

  “We’ll catch up to her.” He reassures me. I nod, pinching my lips together. I know we’ll catch up to her, I’m just worried it will be too late. After Kat and Kevin’s mission, Nathan ordered me to keep a close eye on all of them. I found myself watching Scarlet and Evan’s interactions more closely. I reported everything back to Nathan. I told him what Evan was planning, I told him that Scarlet was spending a lot of time with Evan. Nathan’s smart, he’ll figure it out.

  “I know we will.” I finally answer him after a long moment of thought.

  “Hey, what do you think is in that bag of hers?” Alec has been growing suspicious of Scarlet’s motives behind wanting to go to the bunker. Ever since Kat’s death, even before, she’s been obsessed with going there. He’s right to be concerned about what she has planned. I want to tell him what I know. That she’s been carrying Evan’s bomb with her. I couldn’t betray her like that though. Alec’s a hothead and the two of them are barely to where they don’t hate each other. Telling him would reset all of that. I was hoping the two of us being on her about it would make her change her mind. I knew that we wouldn’t be able to but I tried, I’ll keep trying when we find her.

  “I don’t know.” I answer his question. “Whatever it is, she really doesn’t want us to know.”

  “You think that’s why she ran? To keep us from finding out?”

  “I think she thinks she’s keeping us safe.” Scarlet has always had our safety in mind, in her own twisted way. It isn’t always right, the way she handles things. But she tries.

  “Maybe.” Alec chews on that thought. “Think she’s gonna do something stupid?”

  “Oh, no doubt.” Kevin butts into our conversation, squeezing in between us. “Name the last time she didn’t do something stupid.” I glare at him. This kid has always annoyed me. Sure, he’s funny sometimes, but mostly just annoying.

  “She doesn’t do dumb stuff that often.” I reply defensively.

  “On her first day she stormed into the garden and demanded that we do as she said. Causing Alec to hate her.” He points out.

  “Yeah, she did.” Alec agrees.

  “She was very passionate that day. I wouldn’t call that stupid.” I roll my eyes.

  “My first day there, she punched a wall because she didn’t sleep enough.” Reese chimes in. “That doesn’t seem dramatic to you?”

  “Okay…that was kinda—”

  “She taunted Evan. Causing him to beat her up.” Kevin reminds us all of that day. That was also a bad decision.

  “Okay, I get it. No, she doesn’t make the best decisions when she’s emotional.” I admit. “But she’s not stupid.” I’m offended that they even think that about her, though I can’t debate it.

  “I disagree.” Reese mumbles. I inhale sharply. If it wasn’t for Alec instinctively grabbing my arm, I would have punched her.

  “Alright.” He glares at Reese. “That’s enough. Let’s just stay focused on getting to her.”

  I grunt, shaking my arm free from Alec. I walk along in silence, trying to ignore the others. I can’t afford to get distracted anymore. I have to get to her before Nathan does.

  “And here it is.” Kevin says proudly as we come up on the bunker. It’s been nearly two days since we’ve seen Scarlet. I just hope she’s safe right now. It’s grown dark out, a chill is in the air.

  “Home sweet home.” I mutter sarcastically under my breath.

  “What?” Alec asks, confused. I shake my head. We walk up to the large metal door.

  “So, do we knock or?” Ally asks, placing her hand on the metal.

  “Just wait.” Ty pulls her away from the door. We wait about two minutes before we hear the screeching of metal on metal. A sound I haven’t heard in a long time. My heart begins to pound as I wonder how I will be greeted. I was supposed to return weeks ago, alone.

  Richard greets us, welcoming us inside.

  “Is she here?” I ask him quietly. He warns me not to blow my cover. “Scarlet! Where is she?” I say more aggressively.

  “Shark, calm down.” Ally reaches for my arm, I bat her hand away.

  “No! I need to know she’s here and safe.”

  “Shark?” Laura pushes Richard aside. Her voice soothing, as it always is. “Why don’t we go somewhere and talk. Find out who it is you’re looking for.” She knows who I am, but she knows to not be obvious. Laura raised me after my parents sent me to Nathan for training when I was fourteen.

  “Our friend Scarlet, she came looking for this bunker.” Alec tells her calmly. “We just want to know she’s safe.”

  “She’s here.” she responds gently, her eyes meeting with mine. Richard places his hand on my shoulder.

  “Come Shark, let’s go talk.” I know that’s a signal. Nathan knows I’m here, he wants to talk.

  “No!” I yell. “I don’t want to go talk. I want to see Scarlet. Right now.” I shove Richard away from me. The others back away, startled. “Take me to her. Please.”

  “Honey, will you take the others to their bunks?” Laura asks Richard. He nods. I watch as the others reluctantly follow him in the direction of the rooms.

  “Finn.” Laura says once we’re alone, brushing my cheek with her hand. Laura has always been like a mother to me, she’s shown me more love than my mom ever did. “Honey, I know you want to see her. But she’s resting now, you can see her in the morning.” She looks around cautiously.

  “Finn, Nathan can’t know about her. He can’t know you care for her. That will get you both killed.” It’s been so long since I’ve heard my name, so long since I’ve been in this place.

  “I know.” I frown. A single tear rolling down my cheek. She wipes it away.

  “He wants to see you.” She begins leading me down the hall towards his office. “When we stopped from hearing you, we thought you’d been compromised. Thought maybe you were dead.” Her voice shakes slightly.

  “I’m sorry Laura.” I apologize. “I was afraid of…” I can’t say it, not here. If Nathan learns that I’m in love with Scarlet, she wouldn’t be safe.

  “I know.” She smiles warmly. “I understand. But be careful, Nathan won’t
be understanding. You know how he can be.” She knocks on the white door.

  “Come in!” Nathan calls through the door. I take a deep breath, slowly reaching for the handle.

  Laura squeezes my shoulder gently before turning in the other direction, leaving me to face him on my own.

  Nathan has always scared me. He’s deranged, ruthless and unpredictable.

  “Doctor.” I greet him as I walk sheepishly into his office. I stand still, my arms at my sides until he gestures for me to take a seat.

  “Finn. How lovely to have you back.” Nathan greets me. An unsettling grin spreads across his face. I prepare myself for a bullet to the head. As I’ve seen him do to many other soldiers in the past. “And I see you brought a whole…posse with you.”

  “Yes sir.”

  “No need to be so formal Finn. I thought you and I were friends. Nearly family.”

  “Right, sorry Nathan.”

  “So tell me. Did you lose your watch? Your map maybe? We were expecting you back weeks ago.”

  “Yes sir, I lost my watch.” I lie. “I’m afraid I was delayed by unpredictable events.”

  “Lucky for you, I had a new one custom made, for my favorite soldier.” He reaches into a drawer in his desk and passes me a white watch. I put it on.

  “Thank you sir.”

  He glares at me for a moment. “Unpredictable events you said. What kind of events?” I knew he would ask but I wasn’t prepared. It was Scarlet that distracted me from my mission.

  “Well Nathan.” I begin slowly, giving myself time to think. He raises his eyebrows, waiting for a response. “I was compromised by Evan. He learned who I was and…” I pause. “And what Finn? What happened next?”