Alone

by Abigail Wallace

  “Then what!” he shouts. My body begins to tremble.

  “Do not yell at her like that.” Shark steps in between the two of us. The two boys hold eachother’s gaze.

  I grab Sharks arm, take a deep breath and push him back behind me.

  “I didn’t want you to follow me.” I finally admit, my eyes still not finding their way to Alec’s.

  “Why?” Alec finally lowers his voice. “What made you think we wouldn’t?”

  “Because,” I lift my gaze, stepping away from Shark, “I need you guys to go home. I need you guys to stop following me. I’m bad luck, Alec.” My eyes meet with Reese for a moment. She nods.

  “Home? There is no home. Just an old, rickety building about to cave in on itself.” Alec steps closer, his voice is beginning to shake. “What’s happening to you Scarlet? What is it about this place that has you acting so weird?”

  “I can’t tell you.” I mumble. He’s standing over me now. Anger radiates off of him.

  “Of course you can’t.” He snorts. “You never can anymore, can you? Always gotta be hiding something. Always gotta be the center of the drama. Right?”

  “No Alec. That’s not it.” I kick the floor nervously.

  “Then tell me. Tell me why this is so important. Tell me why we should pack up and leave you here.”

  “I can’t.” I sigh. “I tried.” I say to Reese, tears now streaming down my face. Ally also turns to look at Reese. I squeeze in between Alec and Kevin, leaving the group standing there, feeling whatever it was we were all feeling in that moment.

  How exactly am I supposed to tell them I don’t want them here because I don’t want to blow them up?

  I lock myself in my room after that, tears still pouring out of my eyes. My hands find their way to my book bag. I unzip it and pull the device out, it’s heavy. I toy with it gently and think.

  This is what I came here for, I came here for revenge, for Kat, I came to finish what Evan started. But I wasn’t planning on there being children here. I wasn’t planning on there being normal people here. I pictured rich government officials and military leaders hiding out down here.

  I imagined there being a big obvious red button, making it clear that they did this. But it’s just people, just people surviving, just like me.

  I pull out the plans I had written down and read them over. It seemed like the right thing then, but now it seems like insanity.

  How did I become like this? Like Evan? So bent on revenge and destruction that I’m debating whether or not I should kill a bunch of children. I shove it back in my bag and slide it under my bed.

  I can’t blow this place up, can I?

  * * *

  It wasn’t until Christopher came and got me for dinner that I left my room and I cried most of the time I was in there.

  “Missed you at lunch, it was burgers today. They cook ‘em real good too.” he says immediately after I answered the door

  “I’ll have to try it next time.” I force a smile. I imagine my eyes are still puffy from crying. He doesn’t say anything. Although he seems like the type of kid that would.

  “Well, it’s pasta for dinner. It’s not my favorite, but it’s alright.” He smiles. “How’d it go with your boyfriend?”

  “It was fine.” I say.

  “He doesn’t talk much, does he?” he says, “I went to get him for dinner and he just stared at me and then closed the door. ”

  “He’ll get there eventually, he doesn’t handle new places well.” I reply.

  “Ah well, guess it’s his choice to starve.”

  “He’ll be fine.” I say more to myself than to Christopher.

  “Well anyway, I suggest you get the white sauce instead of the red. I like tomato sauce, but the cooks here tend to spice it real weird for pasta night.” His face is one of disgust.

  I chuckle.

  “So Scarlet, if you still want to meet Dr. Fowler tonight after dinner, I’m sure he’d love to meet you. And your friends, of course.” Laura offers as we’re all sitting around the table eating. I look around at the others, waiting for one of them to answer. Alec and I make eye contact for a short, uncomfortable moment.

  “Um, yeah Laura, we’d love to meet him.” I force a smile.

  “Speak for yourself.” I hear Reese grunt under her breath, but loud enough that both Alec and I hear her. She’s glaring at me, but I don’t look at her. I want to say something, but I wouldn’t even know what to say.

  “Maybe you two need to work this out in the hallway?” Alec suggests, his eyes shifting between the two of us. I can sense Laura’s growing discomfort.

  “I don’t have anything to work out with her.” I reply. “Or with you for that matter. No need to be dramatic.”

  “You obviously do.” Alec’s voice raises slightly, not enough to be a yell, but enough to get attention from the other people around us.

  “Maybe you’re the one with a problem.” I mumble.

  He glares at me for a long moment. I hope he’ll forget about it and return to eating.

  He doesn’t.

  “Okay, fine. Let’s go.” he finally says.

  I roll my eyes, standing up and walking out without even checking to see if he’s coming.

  “What’s your problem Alec?” I almost shout once we’re both in the hall. “This place is quiet. These people are trying to enjoy a nice dinner. Why do you have to start crap in there like that?” My cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

  “I didn’t start anything. You and Reese did.” he argues.

  “You’re the one causing a scene in there.”

  “Fine, you really wanna know? You’re my problem Scarlet. You’ve been a problem ever since I met you. Going around punching walls, ordering us all around, pissing off Evan, need I go on?” He waits a second for me to reply. “You’re impulsive and emotional. You’ve been running off doing who knows what for hours to days at a time. You were holding on to that backpack like it was your baby, and then you ran off, in the middle of the night leaving us to wonder where you went. How’d you even know where this thing was?” he yells.

  “You’re one to talk about disappearing for long periods of time Alec. Are you the only one entitled to mental breakdowns? You’re the only one allowed to sneak off and drink a little and not come back for days? I’m not allowed to have space. Is that it?”

  There she is, the girl who wasn’t afraid to stand up to Alec.

  “No.” He’s frustrated, but it doesn’t last. His anger takes back its place in no time. “I would never have disappeared in the middle of the night to find the bunker on my own.”

  “I had to, Alec.” I argue. Now would be a good time to think of a reason why.

  “You had to?” He starts to laugh. “You had to?! That’s what you keep saying, but you won’t say why. You scared us to death! What if you were lost or…” He’s breathing hard now. I’d swear if it wasn’t Alec I’d think he was about to cry.

  “Or dead?” I finish for him, my voice softening. “I’m sorry Alec, I didn’t mean to scare you. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “You never are.” he replies. “You react based on your emotions. You never think before you do this kind of thing.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing Alec.” I look down at my hands. “I’ve hit a dead end, I’m tired and I don’t know where to go next. I thought this was my answer, I thought this was my out. I thought if I found this bunker I could do what I needed to do and I would feel like I have control again.” I ramble.

  “What is it you needed to do?” he asks. His hand is on my shoulder now.

  “I just…” I raise now watery eyes to look at him. “I can’t tell you.” I sigh.

  “Why?” He tries to control his tone. “It can’t be that bad.”

  “I just can’t tell you Alec.” I repeat. “It doesn’t matter now anyway.”

  “Alright.” Alec sighs. “You don’t have to explain yourself. But you have to stop acting stupid. I’m t
ired of it. Shark and I can’t keep chasing after you like this.” He stops himself and embraces me in a hug. I feel somehow both relieved and terrified.

  “Scarlet, my mom wants to know if you want to meet Uncle Nathan now.” Christopher says peeking his head into the hall.

  “Uh, yeah.” I sniff, wiping under my eyes before I look at him. “I’m coming.” Christopher attempts to push the door open further. Alec grabs it to help him. I expect the kid to refuse the help, and he opens his mouth as if he was going to but then he just shrugs and lets go of the door completely.

  I remember this feeling from the day I lost it at Alec’s. The feeling that everyone was staring at you, that everyone’s waiting for you to snap again. I’m waiting for me to snap again.

  I direct my attention to the man talking to Laura. He’s tall and slender. He doesn’t look old, but he doesn’t look young either. He’s an attractive and charming looking man.

  “Nathan this is Scarlet and Alec.” Laura gestures to us. Her eyes scan me up and down, it’s not as warm of a feeling as I’m used to getting from her.

  “Ah, yes. Christopher told me a lot about you this afternoon.” Doctor Fowler grins. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too.” I reply, offering him my hand. He takes it and shakes it gently.

  “My sister was telling me you have a lot of questions about our bunker.”

  “I did, but I feel like Laura answered them very well last night.” I reply, I see Alec raise an eyebrow out of the corner of my eye.

  “I’m glad my sister could be so informative.” he says, still smiling, “If you want to know anything else let me know. I’m happy to explain anything you want to know.” He seems kind, like the others, but I just have this feeling. Something’s not right. I’m probably just being paranoid.

  “Thank you, sir. I will.” I reply.

  “Of course.”

  At this point the tension in the room is strong. The two of us stand there, searching each other’s eyes, looking for some reason to hate the other.

  Although, I don’t feel like I really need much of a reason. I already hate him, I already blame him.

  “Well, if you all will excuse us, we have to find Richard and get to our meeting.” Doctor Fowler breaks the silence. “It was lovely to meet you, Scarlet.” His grin is unsettling now.

  “You too Doctor.” I reply. I watch as he walks out of the room. Laura and Christopher behind him.

  I sit down at the table and lean into the others. They lean in as well.

  “There was something off about that guy right?” I ask them.

  Reese rolls her eyes slightly, “There’s something off about this whole place.”

  “Maybe he wouldn’t have seemed so hostile, if you weren’t asking so many questions.” Alec replies.

  “Maybe he wouldn’t be so worried about me asking questions, if he had nothing to hide.”

  “Oh come on guys.” Ally says. “Give it a chance. I like it here.”

  “Just, watch your backs guys.” I sigh. “We don’t know what they’re up to.”

  “You’re the one who insisted we come here in the first place.” Reese glares at me. “I told you we shouldn’t have.”

  “I didn’t lead you here.” I snap. “He did.” I point at Alec.

  Reese crosses her arms over her chest, her eyes shifting between Alec and I. Alec stands from the table and walks calmly out of the cafeteria.

  “Reese.” Ty rests his hand on her shoulder. “Let’s take a walk.” he suggests. The two of them stand up, leaving me with Ally and Kevin.

  We sit in silence. Ally obviously upset by the idea of having to leave already.

  “We know you’re just trying to keep us safe. I trust you.” Kevin says calmly. He leads Ally out of the room and I’m alone.

  I laugh at myself for a moment. No, it’s not funny. Just pathetic.

  13

  Shark

  Morning comes slow. I dress myself in a dark shirt and jeans. I met with Nathan in his private dining hall. He told me to stay in character, to stay a part of the group. Until he can be sure that the group isn’t going to try something. I have to convince Scarlet not to use the bomb, somehow. He’s already suspicious. If he finds that, she’s dead.

  I return to my room after breakfast and sit in there, daydreaming. I hadn’t really realized how much time had passed until a knock on my door draws me out of my thoughts. I realize I look exhausted as I catch a look of my face in the mirror by the bed. My eyes are red, dark circles surrounding them. Another knock. Slowly I cross the floor, hesitant to answer.

  “Shark?” I hear her say through the door. “It’s me Scarlet.”

  My heart leaps a little. I’m relieved to hear her voice. Relieved that she’s okay. I open the door slowly. There she is. Her hair is down, framing her face. I stare at her. Do I yell at her? Embrace her? She looks at me, awaiting a reaction.

  “Scarlet.” I whisper breathlessly. After talking to Nathan yesterday, I wasn’t sure if I would see her again. I had almost given up on keeping her safe. “We were so worried.” My eyes begin to water. I hate to cry in front of her. Hate for her to see me weak and defeated, but I can’t help it. She slowly steps towards me. I step closer to her.

  “I’m so sorry Shark. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just was worried I was leading you into danger.” She sobs. Her arms now wrapped around my neck. “I’m sorry.” I hear her repeat. I hold her while the two of us cry. It’s so good to hold her again. Unfortunately, our moment is cut short by someone who’s not as happy to see her.

  The fight with Alec is shot lived but obviously took its toll on Scarlet. I stand helpless, as I watch her sulk away down the hall. The others turn and leave, as if they didn’t see the interaction I’d just witnessed. As if they didn’t care at all about how Alec had made her feel. If only they understood.

  I conceal myself in my room for the next few hours. I find myself thinking about Scarlet, I know the bomb is taking a toll on her. I also know she’ll never be safe hiding it here. I have to get it from her somehow.

  Around six, Christopher comes knocking on my door.

  “Hey Chris, what’s up?” I greet him. He’s smiling warmly at me.

  “Dinner.” he says. “Mom says you can starve if ya wanna, but she prefers you alive.”

  “Dinner? Oh yeah that sounds good.” I smile. I hadn’t realized I was hungry until he mentioned food.

  “Come on, you can see what room your girlfriend’s in when we pick her up.”

  “We’re picking her up?” I think on this for a moment. Then the idea hits me. If I can get into her room while she’s at dinner, I can get the bomb. I’ll get it out of here, and she’ll be safe. They all will be.

  “Shark?” Chris draws me out of my thoughts by waving his hand in my face.

  “You know what? I’m not hungry.” I tell him. “But could you…could you show me her room? I need to get something out of her backpack.”

  “Is this some kind of secret spy thing?” A grin spreads across his face. I think for a moment.

  “Sure.” I chuckle.

  “So cool! What do ya want me to tell her?”

  “Anything. You just have to get her out of the room and to dinner. Then I’ll sneak in and get what I need.”

  “Alright let’s go!” He begins to eagerly skip down the hall. I follow him, nearly having to jog to keep up.

  “Okay, stay here.” he whispers to me. “I’ll go get her.” I watch as he walks up to her door and knocks. My eyes are fixed on them. She looks like she’s been crying, my heart sinks. I know that this will take some weight off of her. But I wish I could do so much more. I watch as Christopher begins leading her towards the cafeteria. I walk towards her room. Almost there, a couple of seconds and this will all be over.

  “Hey, Finn!” RIchards voice startles me. I freeze for a moment, my eyes wide. He places his hand on my shoulder. “Or…Shark, I’m sorry. It’s taking me some time to get used t
o that alias. Anyway, how are you holding up?”

  “I’m alright Richard.” I respond. What does he want? He’s rarely in the mood for smalltalk.

  “Good, good.” He pauses to think. “Would you mind if we talked in your room?” he asks.

  I can’t tell him no. I look at her door and frown. Hopefully, this doesn’t take long and I can get in and out of there. I nod and begin to lead him down the hall towards my room.

  “What is this about Richard?” I ask as I turn the doorknob. He shakes his head, his expression serious. We shuffle in quickly, closing the door quietly behind us. “Richard?” I ask again once we’re inside.

  “It’s Nathan,” he begins, “I’m afraid he’s decided to proceed with the second half of phase two.”

  “Phase two? With what research? Evan burnt it all months ago.”

  “Maybe so, but Nathan is convinced that your girlfriend may know something to help.”

  “She doesn’t.” I lie. “They were enemies, he didn’t share any information with her.”

  “Enemies?” He raises an eyebrow. “That’s not what your reports say.”

  No, it’s not. Back then I was more concerned with my mission than I was her safety. I reported back that Evan seemed to be recruiting Scarlet for something. I never reported the fight or what happened after. As far as they know, Evan was alive and plotting with Scarlet up until earlier this week.

  “Finn, Nathan didn’t send me. Laura did. She’s worried that you and your friends may be in danger.”

  I meet his gaze. Do I tell him? I’ve always been able to trust Laura.

  “Nathan is paranoid that your friends are going to try something. After Carrie’s death, he hasn’t been very trusting of anybody. Whether your girlfriend has Evan’s research or not, you are all still in danger.”

  “I know.” I sigh.

  “If you tell me what’s going on, Laura and I may be able to help you. To keep you informed at least.”

  “Evan had a plan to come back and destroy the bunker, he had his sights set on revenge. Shortly after meeting Scarlet, he began to recruit her. She turned him down, she wasn’t going to help him. He got so mad Richard.” I find myself saying. It wasn’t planned. I didn’t mean to, but it came out anyway. “He beat her. He nearly killed her.” My voice grows shaky as the anger rises in my chest. I picture her face that day, bloodied and bruised. “So I killed him.”