“I can’t lose her Richard.” I swallow. “She’s the only thing keeping me going.”
“Then get her in here to talk to me. I will take her place if she’ll hand over the bomb.” he replies, placing his hand on my shoulder and squeezing gently.
“Okay. I’ll try. Give me a day.”
“That’s all we have left to spare.” he tells me, “We may not even have that.”
I nod and stand, pushing my chair away from the table.
“Work fast Finn. We can’t afford to be too late.”
16
Scarlet
It’s been days and Alec still isn’t speaking to me. I can’t blame him really. In a way I put them in danger as much as I put myself in danger. Or maybe it is just that he does care.
Things have changed between Shark and I. He doesn’t seem angry, maybe a little disappointed. I haven’t brought up anything about the bomb since Shark talked about sneaking it out of my room. I haven’t even looked at it since that day.
At this time I’m helping Ally get ready for her date with Sam. She’s so excited. I’m glad we stayed, even if it was just for Ally’s happiness.
“How’s this?” she asks me, she walks out of the bathroom. The dress is simple. Dark blue and flowy. Her reddish brown hair is down. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wear it like that, it makes her look older.
“Where’d you get the dress?” I ask curiously.
“Sam’s friend Jenna lent it to me. Isn’t it pretty?”
“You look beautiful Ally, really.” I smile. I know Alec isn’t the biggest fan of his young niece going out with a boy, but even without him talking to me, I know we both agree that it’s great seeing her happy.
“Okay, get out, he’ll be here any-’’ She’s interrupted by a knock. “Shoot, never mind.” She opens the door. She smiles at me.
“You look amazing!” I hear Sam say. “You ready?”
I watch Ally grab his hand, allowing him to lead her out the door.
I clean her room up a little before leaving. I find myself wandering towards the library. That seems to be the place I’ve been hanging out in the most at this point. I don’t really read, but I love the quiet atmosphere. It comforts me in a way.
I walk down the hallway in some kind of a daze. Once again, I am on autopilot, allowing my legs to lead me wherever.
“Scarlet.” I look up to realize I almost walked right into Doctor Fowler.
“Oops. Sorry.” I apologize flatly. I walk past him and continue on my way to the library.
“You know Scarlet.”
I freeze, keeping my back to him.
“It took me a while to realize who you are.”
“Who I am?” I ask confused.
“Yes, Kat talked about you quite a bit while she was staying with us.” A chill makes its way through my body. “Of course I recognized Reese immediately, but it took some time for me to realize Kevin was here as well, Ty too. But no Kat?” I ball my hands into fists and clench my teeth. Don’t cry, not in front of him. “Where is she? I wouldn’t mind getting to catch up with her.” His tone is menacing.
Kat’s suicide plays through my memory again. Flashes of her blood, her eyes, the bang of the gun. I blink tears out of my eyes and turn to face the doctor.
“Oh.” He suppresses a laugh after reading my expression. “My condolences.” he says unsympathetically.
“What do you want, Doctor?” I ask as calmly as I can.
“Never mind Kat, I suppose she’s paid for what she’s done.” He steps closer to me. “And don’t worry, you and your friends will be safe here. As long as you don’t go and shoot anyone else that is.” Our eyes challenge each other as they do every time we encounter one another.
I begin to turn to walk away.
“And.” he says. I keep walking, but slower. “You tell me exactly what Evan told you about the bunkers.” I swallow hard, freezing mid-step. What does he know about Evan?
“Evan?” I’ll pretend I don’t know anything.
“Yes, Evan. I know he was a part of your group at one time or another. We wouldn’t have let a bomb tech run away without some way to keep an eye on him, especially not our best bomb tech.”
“Bomb tech?” I mumble to myself. That explains so much about Evan. “Evan was telling the truth…”
“Yes, Evan told your group too much of the truth. But my source informed me that he may have told you even more.” Without warning Doctor Fowler grabs my wrist. I inhale sharply, my heart beats hard and fast. I remember Evan grabbing my wrists and I instantly feel like I’m in danger. Am I panicking? I feel like I might pass out.
“Your source?”
“Yes, my source; Finn.” He grips my wrist tighter. I wince slightly. “I believe you know him well.”
“I don’t know a Finn.” I glare at him. What is he talking about? A spy? Following Evan? What are they hiding? What does he think I know?
“Your boyfriend.” he whispers in my ear. What? Shark? No, I would’ve known.
“You’re lying.” I accuse him. There’s no way. I think through the last few months.
“Go ahead.” He finally lets go of me. Whether it’s fear or what, I’m frozen. “Ask him.” Doctor Fowler walks calmly away, as if we didn’t just have the conversation we just had. I let out a breath I was holding in and rub my wrist, wincing again. I forgot how much that hurts. “There’s no way…” I say to myself.
I find myself running to Shark’s room and banging on the door.
“What?!” I hear him shout. “I’m coming hold on!” I keep knocking anyway. He opens the door, his eyes grow wide as I shove past him and slam the door.
“Finn?” I feel lied to, betrayed. It makes sense now. The close attention he paid to Evan. Him going on about how he needed to leave, he had something he had to do. It all makes sense.
“You’re a spy?!”
His jaw drops open, he wasn’t expecting me to find out. Why did Fowler tell me? “All this time, you were spying on us, for them? Was everything a lie?” I pause for a breath.
He opens his mouth to speak, but I raise my hand signaling him to remain silent.
“I trusted you Shark, we all did! You’re telling me everything Evan said was true, and you knew, and you lied about it? I can’t believe I let myself fall in love with you. I let myself trust you. And all this time, you were on their side?” I would cry right now but not in front of him. I don’t trust him with that anymore.
“Scarlet, it’s not like that. I do love you. You can trust me.” He steps towards me, I back away. I begin to laugh hysterically. I actually thought he was good, the best actually.
“How? How am I supposed to trust you now? I don’t think I can. I didn’t even know your name!”
“You can.” he replies. “I won’t tell them about the bomb. I haven’t. I promise. I’ll get rid of it, like I said. You’ll be safe, you’ll all be safe and we can be together. That doesn’t have to change.” I forgot he knew about the bomb. What if he’s lying? What if they already know?
“No, the bomb stays where it is.” I say. “And you and I cannot be together. You work for them. They killed my family. You helped them do it. You’re just as bad as Evan.” I subconsciously touch my wrist.
I follow his eyes to the bruising forming on my wrist.
“No. You don’t get to freak out over that.” I tell him.
“He hurt you.” Shark mumbles.
“Not as much as you did.” I reply, my voice low. I walk out of his room feeling more vulnerable than before.
I trusted him, loved him. I feel threatened. He knows everything about me and now there’s a good chance Doctor Fowler does too.
I find myself panicking, wondering what else they know. Do they think I’m a threat? Are we actually safe? Do I tell the others? As much as I want to hate him, as much as I want Alec to kill him right now. I can’t bring myself to do it. Even knowing this, I can’t do that to him. I tell myself I’ll keep his secret.
I fo
rget about my outing to the library and go back to my room and I don’t leave for days.
* * *
“Scarlet?” Ally knocks on my door, as she’s done once an hour for the last three days. “Scarlet, I don’t know what’s going on. But I’m here for you if you want to talk. You know that right?” A pause. “You have to know that.”
I haven’t felt like talking to people since I found out about Finn.
I’ve gotten myself used to calling him Finn, Shark just doesn’t feel right anymore.
I loved Shark. Finn is a liar.
I haven’t eaten in three days. I’ve only slept, and cried. I’ve pulled the bomb out a few times, wondering if I’d given up on my mission too early. I keep considering blowing this place and myself up.
“Scarlet, come on. You can’t stay in there forever. You need food and hugs. I have hugs.” Ally is still calling to me through the door. “Kevin’s here too.”
“Hey Scarlet, how ya doin’ in there?” I hear Kevin say.
“Oh come on you can do better than that.” I hear Ally say to him.
“Whattya want me to do? Kick the door down?” he replies. I can picture them considering it.
“You don’t have to kick the door down stupid. They don’t lock.” I hear Ally say. I bury myself under the blankets, preparing myself for them to just barge in.
“Oh yeah.” Kevin chuckles. I watch as the door knob turns and the two of them walk cautiously inside.
“What’s up Scarlet?” Kevin asks, sitting on the floor by the bed. Ally sits on the edge of the bed and rubs my back. I grumble incoherent words.
“What’s going on? We haven’t seen you in days.” Ally asks. What am I supposed to tell them? I sit up and look at Ally. My eyes tear up. “Oh Scarlet, what happened?” She looks at Kevin confused. He shrugs. I lean into her shoulder, she hugs me tight and I cry. Kevin and Ally begin to cry with me.
We cry for a long time. By the end my eyes are red and puffy and my throat is dry.
“I’m sorry guys.” I sniffle.
“It’s okay.” Ally wipes her eyes. “I think we all needed that.”
“Are you okay though?” Kevin asks.
“No.” I admit.
“What can we do?” Ally holds my hand. I look between the two of them and then I force a small smile.
“Why don’t you tell me how your date went?” I suggest. “I haven’t heard yet.”
“Okay.” She squeezes my hand and begins telling me all about her day with Sam. It sounds like they had a lot of fun.
I find myself growing jealous, seeing how my relationship ended, but I’m so glad she’s happy with him. She deserves that much.
I sit quietly and listen, giggling every now and then.
“I’m really happy for you Ally.” I tell her. I smile easier now.
“Thanks.” She smiles shyly, her cheeks turning bright red for a second.
“Scarlet…” She pinches her lips together, trying to decide if she should ask or not.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I answer the question she didn’t ask. Her and Kevin lock eyes again.
“Okay.” She sighs. “At Least come to dinner please. You can’t starve yourself.”
“I don’t know Ally.” I frown. I’m not ready to face Finn right now.
“He won’t be there.” Kevin tells me, as if he could read my mind. “Shark hasn’t been at any meals either.” Why? What is it he has to be upset about? I nod reluctantly and lead the way to the dining hall.
They were right, he isn’t here. I can’t help but feel disappointed, feel like I’ve lost something. I scan the room multiple times for him. I don’t see him, but my eyes find their way to Doctor Fowler. Christopher stands beside him as they talk to Richard and Laura.
My throat grows tight for a moment as our eyes meet from across the room. He smirks. “You don’t scare me.” I think, hoping he can somehow hear my thoughts.
I smile at him and challenge him with my eyes until he finally looks away. Returning his full attention to his family.
I turn to leave the line, my nearly empty plate in hand.
“Would you watch it?” Alec grumbles as I accidentally bump into him. I manage to keep my food from spilling on him as I regain my balance. I ignore him and begin to walk towards the tables.
“Oh gosh Alec, I’m so sorry. Didn’t see ya there.” I hear him mocking me quietly. I bite my tongue, hoping it will be enough to keep me from getting into yet another argument.
“I’d love to apologize.” I turn back to him. He gestures to me, awaiting my apology. “I’d love to apologize. But I’m not sorry.” I turn once again and walk to the nearest empty place, setting my plate down.
Kevin and Ally begin to join me, but I hear a grunt. Which I assume was Alec signaling them to sit somewhere else. He sits across the table from me and watches me eat my three bites.
“What Alec?” I growl. Scraping my fork around my plate. “Here to yell at me some more.”
“Where have you been?” he asks. His voice is calm.
“Locked in my room.”
“Got anything to do with that?” He points to my wrist. “You gotta stop making people mad.” he mutters.
Instinctively, I hide it under the table. I look up to see Doctor Fowler has left. Should I tell Alec? Should I trust Alec? I don’t want to do that to Shark…or Finn I guess.
I still love him for some reason. I can’t bring myself to rat him out.
“It’s nothing Alec.” I look down, ashamed. “You know me, picking fights I could never win.”
He stares at me for a long while.
“You gonna tell me?” He finally speaks again.
“Why should I?” I mumble.
“Scarlet, you and I rarely get along. I’m still not really sure if I even like you. I definitely don’t trust your judgement. But, if somebody’s threatening you, I want to know.”
“I can handle it Alec.”
“No, you obviously can’t” He rolls his eyes and begins to stand up. “Whatever, get yourself killed. I don’t care.”
“Wait Alec.” I want to tell him. I want to tell somebody. He waits for me to say more. “Evan was right.” I just can’t let him walk away still thinking I’m crazy. I need him to know Evan was right. My judgement wasn’t off.
He glares at me, “Scarlet, I really don’t want to go over this again right now.”
“Evan was right.” I raise my wrist slightly. “He knew everything. Doctor Fowler knows I know.”
Alec thinks for a moment.
“Does that change things?” I know he’s asking if that I’ve changed my mind about the bomb. In all honestly, it has crossed my mind, but I don’t know. I need to learn more. I look at him, but I don’t reply.
“I don’t know why I keep trying.”
“I have to do something. He can’t just get away with it.”
“Do whatever Scarlet.” He sighs. He looks defeated. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he may be hurt. “I’m done.”
My blood goes cold. Of course we fight all of the time, but this felt different. It felt final. And to think the two of us had almost built a friendship. I watch him walk away, slower than usual. Sadder than usual.
Ally and Kevin follow him out. I wonder what he’ll tell them. Will he tell them anything? Would he turn them against me?
“Scarlet!” Christopher comes skipping up to me once the others have left the cafeteria.
“Now’s not the best time kid.” I grumble.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “I haven’t seen ya in days.” He ignores my tone.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Your boyfriend’s been spending a lot of time with me uncle. He’s super cool ya know. Smart too.” he tells me.
“Oh yeah?” I reply, my voice flat. Should hearing him refer to Finn as “my boyfriend” hurt this much? Like being stabbed in the stomach? More accurately, the back.
Should this pain of losing Shark hurt more than any other pain I’ve
felt in the last few months? Even more than Kat’s death. Maybe not, but it does.
“He asked me about you.” Christopher continues to talk. “Wondered how you’ve been. Said he hasn’t seen ya in a couple days.” I smile at the boy. Should I play along? Ask him to tell Shark I’m doing well maybe?
“I’m sure he did.” I reply, trying to sound as friendly as possible.
“My uncle had him moved into one of the military suites. They’re much nicer. He really likes him.”
“I’m sure he likes that.” I stand up from my seat. I want to tell Christopher to say hi to him for me, I want to ask him where his room is. I wonder if maybe I owe it to Shark to let him explain.
As hurt as I am, I still want to believe he is who he was before. I want to think he’s still caring and protective of me. I still want to believe he’s goofy and romantic. But I can’t.
“See ya kid.” I walk out of the cafeteria and return to my room, feeling worse than before.
17
Shark
If Scarlet won’t let me take the bomb to protect her, then I need to think of a different approach. I find myself walking towards Nathan’s office, my heart beating so fast I think I might pass out. I rehearse every word I’ll say as I near the room. I tell myself I’ll apologize and ask forgiveness. I’ll tell him I’m committed to him and the mission and I’m ready to get serious. I have to get into his inner circle again.
I knock once, too quiet for a human to hear. I swallow and breathe. I knock again, louder this time.
“Come in.” he calls from the other side of the door. Slowly I open the door and step into his office. Anger slowly creeps into his eyes as I sit myself down across from him.
“Finn.” He acknowledges me.
“Nathan.” I greet him shyly, the boldness I’d built up in the hallway suddenly gone.
“I didn’t think I’d be seeing you back in here anytime soon.” he says, scanning me up and down. “Bold.”
Alone Page 17