The Unwanted (A Novella of the FBI Psychics)

by Shiloh Walker

  He eased into her slowly and she shuddered, feeling herself stretch around him. It had been years, she realized. Years since her last lover and it was almost painful. The sweetest pain imaginable. He started to withdraw and she groaned, arched up.

  Caleb shuddered, his elbows planted on either side of her head. The muscles in his arms tensed and she could feel him trembling. “Caleb…”

  With that same, slow rhythm, he surged back inside, working deeper. Just a little…not enough—

  Groaning, she clenched down around him and brought her leg up, twining it around his. “Don’t,” he warned, his voice a ragged growl.

  She smiled and milked him with her internal muscles again.

  He shuddered and swore.

  When she did it a third time, a savage curse escaped him and he lunged, surging deep inside her, not stopping until he’d seated himself completely inside her. She cried out, her scream, caught between pain and pleasure, bouncing off the walls.

  His hands caught her shoulders, bracing her as he withdrew and drove back into her.

  She clutched at him, her hands fisting in the cotton of the shirt he wore, cotton that rubbed against her sensitive, swollen breasts. “Caleb…”

  “Mine.” He angled his head, his mouth taking hers as he caught whatever she might have said with his mouth.

  Yes—

  She’d always been his.

  A fact that time, distance, heartbreak couldn’t change.

  He hooked one elbow under her knee, opening her further, and when he drove into her again, she whimpered against his mouth. His fingers stroked against the seam between the cheeks of her ass, teasing the flesh there while his other hand caught her hand and dragged it to the side. His mouth locked on her neck, his teeth raking the delicate arch. “You don’t know. You can’t know what it did to me, walking away.”

  And even know, in the midst of the pleasure, the pain could swamp her.

  I don’t want to know. She blocked it out and turned her head, pressing her lips to his cheek. “Kiss me.”

  She didn’t want to think, wouldn’t. Couldn’t…not yet.

  When his mouth covered hers again, she was the one to take control this time.

  Even as his body controlled hers, she controlled the kiss, sinking her teeth into his lower lip, sucking it into her mouth. She felt him shuddering against her and it fanned the fires between them. When he went to stroke his tongue into her mouth, she bit him lightly and felt it as his control snapped.

  Snarling against her lips, he braced his arm under her as he surged inside her, deep, hard. Destin whimpered against his lip, caught helpless under the driving impact of his body, caught helpless as need and pleasure and love swamped her.

  Love…

  He muttered something against her lips, but she couldn’t hear him. Not over the racing of her heart, the roar of blood in her ears.

  Orgasm hovered just there—so close…so close—

  Her long, slim body tightened under his. Too rough. Too hard… Tearing his mouth away from hers, he lifted his head and tried to throttle back. Tried to force himself to slow even as he pressed another demanding kiss to her swollen mouth. “I love you, Destin.” The words ripped out of him without any conscious thought of his own.

  Her eyes, glassy and wild, were locked on his face and he didn’t even know if she heard him.

  As she arched up higher, she cried, “Caleb…”

  Fisting one hand, he called up the scraps of his control. Slow down…gotta slow down—

  And then she whispered, her voice shaky and soft. “I love you…”

  The world rocked around him.

  The control he thought he’d lost came back to him and the driving, desperate hunger eased.

  Untangling their limbs, he caught her face in his hands. “My girl.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. He stroked his thumb over her cheek. “Fuck, you’re sweet…”

  She tightened around him and he shuddered as the silk of her pussy milked him—a snug, soft fist.

  Her hands caught in his shirt, tried to drag it up. He almost lifted up to let her. Then, as he skimmed his lips along the scar on the side of her face, he remembered…yeah…better wait…

  Instead, he caught her wrists and stretched them high overhead, watched as her eyes widened, watched the way her breath caught. “Mine…”

  “Yours,” she agreed. “And you’re mine. I’m not letting go again.”

  Hell, he hoped not. He’d settle for what he could take for now, but they had miles to go yet. Rocking against her, shifting the angle of his body, he groaned as she clenched around, again and again. “Stop it…you’re killing me…”

  “Then quit teasing me.” She did it again.

  And it was heaven, feeling her tighten those sleek little muscles around him, feeling the glide of her sweat-slicked flesh against his. A flush settled low on her breasts, climbing higher and higher as her breathing sped up. Hot warning chills raced down his spine and he could feel his balls drawing tight. Wasn’t going to be able to fight this off. Arctic showers wouldn’t slow this down, not after all this time.

  Dipping his head, he pressed his brow to hers, held her close to him. “Stay with me.”

  “Yes…”

  As the orgasm swelled, exploded through both of them, they fell.

  Chapter Nine

  “We need to shower,” Destin said drowsily.

  Caleb stroked a hand down her side. “You go first. I’ll get coffee.”

  She wiggled around until she could see his face. “We should conserve water,” she teased, wiggling her brows at him. “Shower together.”

  His lids drooped.

  The easy, relaxed look on his face didn’t exactly fade. But something changed.

  She felt it.

  A cold weight settled on her chest as she lay there staring at him.

  “Never mind,” she said, forcing herself to smile. She pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and went to sit up. As she did, she tugged on the hem of his wrinkled polo. “You’re a mess there, pal.”

  “Wait.” He caught her wrist before she could scoot away and she lifted her head, met his eyes.

  He sat up, blowing out a breath as he levered upright. “We need to talk,” he said quietly.

  Something about the look in his eyes made a knot form in her throat. “Already?” Destin tried to smile again, but it wobbled and died before she even managed to fake it. “I mean, we just had sex. Can’t you let me pretend we’re okay for a while before we get heavy with things?”

  “It wasn’t just sex,” he said quietly, reaching and skimming a hand back over her head. “If it was just sex, there wouldn’t be a need to talk.”

  Destin swallowed, but that lump in her throat just wasn’t going away. “Okay. So…”

  As she floundered for the words, he slid off the bed and padded toward the door. “Let’s go get some coffee,” he said, pausing in the door. “This will take a few minutes, baby.”

  She glanced at the bathroom and wondered if she could get to the door, lock herself inside.

  Then she looked over at him. He knew exactly what she was thinking. And he wouldn’t stop her, she realized. Wouldn’t stop her at all.

  With a heavy heart, she slid off the bed and moved to join him.

  “You never wanted to hear this when I tried to tell you before,” he started out, his eyes grim.

  “Hear what?” Destin asked, nervous as she watched him.

  He leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. He was still wearing that wrinkled, worn polo, a thick growth of stubble darkening that amazing face.

  “From the time I met you, the two of us connected,” he said quietly.

  Destin inclined her head. “I know that.” This wasn’t a secret. None of the others she’d worked with had ever clicked with her like Caleb had. He wasn’t the only filter she’d worked with. A few of the weaker psychics also had sub-abilities and she’d hoped one of them could do the same thing he’d done.
No luck.

  None of them had ever been like Caleb.

  They’d been like a complete unit, the two of them. He calmed her thoughts and let her see beyond what her gift wanted to show her. And she let him use his unusual ability in a way he wouldn’t have been able to use it otherwise. His odd gifts and weird insights would have just been annoyances in any other job, never complete enough to serve any true function.

  It was like they’d been designed to complete each other.

  “It went deeper than it should have sometimes,” he said.

  His face was blank. But a muscle jerked in his jaw as he said it.

  That knot in her gut tightened. “I don’t want to hear this, Caleb. I was never hurt the way you think,” she snapped. Memories of that horrid dream tried to creep out of the depths of her mind, but she shoved them back.

  “It’s not just about that,” he said gently. “It’s everything. I’d be working with another agent and I’d get glimmers from you. I could be on the other side of the country and I’d know when you were picking up on a perp, Destin. It went too deep.”

  That knot was painful now.

  He’d told her that. Time and again, when he’d tried to get her to use some bit of control.

  Averting her gaze, she stared out the window at the clear blue sky. “It’s not going to be a problem anymore,” she said quietly. “I can control it now. You’re not picking up like that anymore, right?”

  “No, I’m not. And just as much of that was my failing. I should have worked harder to lock things down—I could have built better walls. I’m not blaming you for what was going on with us. We couldn’t have been prepared for how tight we connected.”

  “Okay.” She nodded slowly and then looked back at him. “So why are we having this talk?”

  “Do you understand what I’m saying now?” he asked. “I tried to explain this before and you never listened.”

  “I couldn’t,” she said flatly. “Listening would have required I look past how I did things, how I lived my life, and I wasn’t able to do that until I destroyed things. People. Myself. An innocent life.”

  Compassionate eyes watched her. “You couldn’t have known that was going to happen.”

  “Oh, bullshit,” she snapped, shoving back from the table. “I should have known it could happen. You warned me all the time that jumping feet first was going to cause me problems.”

  “And if it had caused you problems, you would have been fine with it,” he interjected. “You didn’t expect somebody else to pay for it.”

  “Somebody did. Somebody paid with their life,” she said quietly. “Now I have to live with that.” She covered her face with her hands, remembered that day. “I have to live with that every day.”

  Silence filled the air. How could silence be so loud? It crowded the room until she wanted to scream, just to end it.

  Swallowing, she lowered her hands and met his gaze. “If this little chat is to see if I’ve gotten my head on straight, I have. I don’t know where you’re going with this, if you think we should try again or what. We can’t think about that now, though. There’s a job—”

  Caleb reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off.

  It caught her off-guard for a moment and she gaped at him.

  And then, as shock drained the strength out of her, she sagged back against the counter.

  The scar…

  Son of a bitch.

  The scar.

  Hell, it wasn’t even just one scar. It was a myriad of them and they were ugly, twisting and slashing across his torso, disappearing around his side. The mess of them confused her eye and she couldn’t make sense of it.

  “Caleb…”

  He glanced down at the ridged, ruined flesh of his chest and then back up at her.

  “I was out on a case,” he said quietly. “For a long time after I left, I kept picking up flickers from you. Logically, I knew I needed to lock you out. Especially…”

  A dull flush crept up his face. “You had three lovers that first year. One of them, I really wanted to kill him. I think if he had tried, he could have made you forget me.”

  She shook her head, unsure what the hell he was talking about. “Caleb, what in the hell happened?”

  A mockery of a smile slashed across his face.

  “I was careless. That last lover of yours…” A sneer curled his face. “His name was Trey. I remember that because I could hear you whispering his name, over and over, for nights. One night, I was out on an op, observation only. We were tracking down a group of human traffickers. And I was careless. I heard you…”

  A far-off look settled in his eyes. “It was just a flicker. That’s all I ever got and I could have locked them out, but I didn’t. I needed them, you see. I needed them. Needed whatever I could get. And that time, I blew my cover. Nobody knows what alerted them to me. I didn’t make a sound. Didn’t move. Jones thinks one of them might have had some sort of psychic ability and just sensed me. Who knows? They put me that close because I had a knack for observation and I tend to pick up on things, notice things—it’s not a psychic ability, but it’s saved my ass, saved others. And if I’d been paying attention, I would have seen it coming.”

  “Seen what?”

  Dark brown eyes met hers and his voice was flat as he said, “I don’t know. One minute I was thinking about you—there was a tug, like one of the ones I’d feel when you were reaching for me. I reached back. And then…” He reached up, rubbing the back of his head. “I felt pain. Like something ripped through my head. I knew something was wrong, tried to block it out, but it was too little too late. I went down and everything went black. When I came to, I was in a dark, nasty little hellhole with three of the bastards they were using for their trafficking rings and they went to work on me.”

  Nausea gripped her belly, twisted it as she stared at him. Dizzy, she tried to make sense of the lines and swirls she saw on his chest. Ragged marks…burns, she realized. They’d burned him. “When did this happen?”

  “Ten months after I left,” he said quietly.

  Ten months…

  In the back of her mind, that calm, quiet part of her that still pretended to be somewhat in control did the math. Ten months. She could relive every moment of that first year without him. The first few months had been the worse, because it was like she could still feel him and she’d been so certain he’d come back.

  Now she understood why she’d felt him.

  Through that connection of theirs.

  All of the times when she’d woken up in the night, dreaming of him, thinking that maybe it had been a nightmare, that he hadn’t left after all. Because he still felt like he was there. Now she knew why.

  Part of him had been, because they’d never been able to block each other out.

  Not until they’d damaged each other.

  “Ten months,” she murmured, turning away.

  It made sense. That was when she’d really started to spiral out of control. As long as she’d had some sense of connection with him, she’d kept herself under control better.

  But one night, she’d woken from a nightmare. Awful and painful and bleak. Another one of those dreams she couldn’t remember, couldn’t make sense of, but the despair and misery that had flooded her had been unreal, sending her down a dark spiral that hadn’t let up for weeks.

  Then, when it ended, she had felt…incomplete.

  “You found a way to block me out, didn’t you?”

  The thick fringe of his lashes swept down over his eyes. “The team tracked me down,” he said quietly. “It took them almost two days and they had to use one of the bloodhounds to get me.”

  The bloodhounds were what they’d taken to calling the agents who specialized in finding missing persons. Two days…it didn’t seem like such a long time in reality, but in the hands of monsters, even two seconds was too much. She moved past him to stare outside as he took a deep breath.

  From the corner of her eye, she watched as he tugged h
is shirt back on. “I was unconscious when they pulled me out of there, and stayed that way for three days. When I came out of it, Jones was in the room.”

  Destin bit back the urge to curl her lip. She’d heard of the infamous Taylor Jones. Dickhead of the highest order.

  Behind her, Caleb continued to talk. “He had one of the empaths with him. I’d worked with her before and she’d told me then that she felt a chink in my shields, said I needed to fix it. The reason they were able to get me out when they did was because she also had a touch of foreshadowing and she’d seen something dark coming. Jones was already mobilizing when I went down—he’d tried to contact me, but her warning to him came too late.”

  The knot inside her twisted, almost painful now. “I’m not impressed,” she muttered. “If they’d kept you from being grabbed? Then I’d be more appreciative.”

  A soft laugh escaped him.

  Turning around, she glared at him. He didn’t even notice. Eyes closed, head tipped back, he looked like he was laughing with a couple of friends over a dirty joke or something.

  “This isn’t funny,” she said quietly.

  He rolled his head over to look at her, lifting his lids just enough to study her through his lashes. “It’s just ironic. I fucked up, did the same thing I was always telling you not to do…and I learned a painful lesson. They thought grabbing me would be a distraction and they could get their operation moved before anything else happened, but they underestimated Jones.” Slowly, he sat up, his long, rangy body uncurling from the chair in a graceful motion.

  As he came toward her, he said, “Most people do. He already had another team in place to deal with them. So they went down—that one little group. They’re like an earthworm, though. You cut of bits and pieces and it still moves, still lives.” He passed a hand over his scarred chest, hidden by his shirt. “And they got me out. It took them longer to get to me but they did get me out. Nobody died. For the most part, it was a clean op.”

  Gaping at him, the scars she’d seen so vivid in her mind, she wondered if he’d lost his mind.