Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

by Jill Steeples

  ‘Take a seat. I’ll be with you in a jiffy!’ I called, returning the mop to its bucket. I washed my hands, tidied some stray strands of hair away and grabbed my little notepad and pencil.

  The young couple asked for two cappuccinos and a slice of carrot cake. That was fine. Well within my capabilities. I rushed off to see to the order, wondering if I hadn’t actually missed my vocation and if I shouldn’t give it all up and start my very own seaside tea shop. Although I wasn’t the best cook in the world, I did love baking and I could knock up a mean rocky road tray bake. Mum usually asked me to cook a batch of chocolate brownies for all the family parties, too, and they always went down a treat.

  No sooner was I back with the young couple’s order then two other tables filled up. And then two more. No wonder Mandy and Bob found running the café such hard work. I was twenty years younger than them and still I was struggling to keep up with the flow of orders.

  Entering invoices was a doddle in comparison, although not nearly as satisfying.

  I rushed back and forth from the kitchen to the restaurant, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks but that only heightened the sense of satisfaction I felt when each order was fulfilled. Maybe it wasn’t just my relationships that needed examining. Maybe I needed to look at my job, too, because that’s all it was to me, a job. If I found something to do that I really loved and enjoyed then that might give me the new focus in life I needed.

  I couldn’t believe when I next looked at my watch that three hours had passed since I’d waved Mandy and Bob goodbye.

  I’d just delivered two ham and cheese toasties to one table and two cheddar and bacon jacket potatoes to another, when another couple came in and plonked themselves down in the corner.

  ‘I’ll be with you in a minute,’ I said, as I whizzed past, depositing some plates into the kitchen. I totted up table six’s bill, left it on the side of their table and was back to serve the new customers.

  ‘Sorry to keep you waiting. What can I get you?’ I gave a big weary smile, looking up to face them for the first time. At my gaze settled on the man my heart stopped for a moment before my pulse quickened and the colour drained from my face.

  ‘Dave?’

  ‘Persephone? It is you? How … how very surprising.’

  Surprising, yes. And acutely awkward, too. I laughed involuntarily, trying to hide my embarrassment, but I knew I was failing miserably. The colour was back in my face with a vengeance as I looked from Dave to his companion, a pretty young girl with long straight black hair and piercing blue eyes. My eyes flitted back over the girl and I reassessed my opinion of her. She wasn’t pretty. She was downright beautiful. In a way that suggested she didn’t even have to try too hard. She probably just rolled out of bed in the morning looking that way.

  Why was I surprised? I wouldn’t have expected anything less from Dave. I thought of how I must have looked last night after rolling around on the carpet for a few minutes. Dishevelled as well as nutty.

  ‘Just helping out a friend,’ I said, waving my pencil in front of my face in the hope that he might not notice that I wasn’t wearing any make-up, that my skin was blotchy and my hair had taken on an unbecoming frizz. I sighed inwardly. Even if I managed to pull off that amazing feat, which was highly unlikely as I could now detect the slightest whiff of bacon fat about my person, there was no way he was going to forget about the beautiful woman at his side.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ he said, looking doubtful. He clearly thought I was completely delusional –not a successful jewellery designer after all, but a lowly café worker with paranoia tendencies. But how could I possibly explain I was neither of those things? Assuming he’d be interested, that is. It looked unlikely I’d ever get the chance to speak to Dave alone again. ‘Sorry,’ he said, seemingly remembering about Miss Drop-dead-gorgeous at his side, ‘this is Natalie.’

  ‘Hi!’ We both said it at the same time, before she added, rather unnecessarily, ‘Persephone, how cool! That’s a really unusual name, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, it is,’ I said, smiling sweetly through gritted teeth. Dave smiled back at me. ‘Now what can I get you?’

  ‘I’ll have beans on toast, please, without any butter and a black coffee, but not too strong please. And if I could have brown bread, please, not white. And do you have any brown sauce, please? Spread onto the toast, if that’s possible.’ I nodded graciously as she rattled off her list of requirements. ‘Oh, and could I have a glass of tap water, too, please?’ I could tell just by looking at her she was the high-maintenance type.

  ‘I’ll just have a cappuccino, please,’ added Dave.

  ‘Great. Coming right up,’ I said cheerily, as though this was my natural environment and I was really very happy to be here which I wasn’t, not any more.

  I hurried back to the kitchen feeling suddenly, inexplicably sad. What was I doing here such a long way from home? The time I’d spent with Dave had been a magical, special time and it had been easy to imagine that we both existed only in the little seaside bubble we’d created away from everybody and everything that we knew. But seeing Dave with this other woman – who just so happened to be thin and lovely and really very beautiful –only brought home to me that none of it had been for real.

  I didn’t know what was real any more. How I felt about Ed and if I still wanted to marry him. And what I felt for lovely Ben who I’d never looked upon as anything other than a friend until the other night when I’d seen him in a completely different light. And now there was Dave who had the audacity to sit in my café and mess with my head.

  I suppose for a moment there, on the beach and in the restaurant last night, I thought we’d shared something special, a connection that in different circumstances may have led to something more meaningful and long-lasting. Only who had I been kidding? Dave had had plenty of opportunity to whisk me off my feet, to take me back to his hotel and make mad passionate love to me, but he hadn’t. He’d kissed me that first night and whilst it had been simply amazing for me, it had clearly been quite enough for Dave. He could have ravished me, but he didn’t. And no amount of analysis was going to put a different slant on that fact at all.

  From the kitchen I peered out to their table. No wonder he’d had little interest in me when he was hanging out with girls like the one sitting opposite him now who was looking at him all adoringly.

  I popped two slices of bread into the toaster and tipped a tin of baked beans into a saucepan with a plop, stirring at them distractedly.

  What a fool I’d been. There was no magic answer to be found here in Hollisea. However much I hated the idea, I needed to go home and do what I should have done three days ago. I needed to sit down with Ed and talk to him and work out what we were going to do. We had so many plans and arrangements in place that would need carefully untangling if we weren’t going ahead with the wedding. I needed to speak to Sophie and collect my things and move out of the flat. I needed to speak to my parents. Oh God, I had to speak to Mum, however much I dreaded the prospect. I really couldn’t put it off any longer. They deserved to know what was happening. All jolly things like that. Running away had been a selfish thing to do, I realised that now.

  I needed to get home and as quickly as possible.

  There were only two tables occupied now so I wandered over to the front door and tipped the closed sign around. Studiously avoiding looking at Dave and his friend I went back into the kitchen, greeted by the aroma of burnt beans.

  ‘Shit!’ I said beneath my breath, burning my hand on the pan as I pushed it off the gas ring. I ran my hand under the cold tap, thinking I’d do them again, but then realising I’d just used the last can of beans. Great! I only hoped Miss Gorgeous Knickers didn’t have discerning taste when it came to her beans. Hurriedly, I scrapped the orange claggy mess off the bottom of the saucepan, leaving aside the seriously black bits. The bread popped out of the toaster and I put it on the plate, squirted some brown sauce around, before plopping the beans on top. It honestly looked like the
least appetising meal in the world. And I was the creator. Mum would be so proud.

  ‘Baked beans on toast,’ I said, unnaturally brightly, when I served the meal. I swear Dave and the girl both looked in amazement at the plate on the table as if I couldn’t really be expecting her to eat it. ‘And one cappuccino and one black coffee,’ I went on, daring her not to. ‘Oh, and a glass of water.’

  ‘Thanks, Perce.’ Dave’s voice was warm and seductive and I could almost imagine his breath in my ear. He looked up at me with those dark brown eyes, but I didn’t linger on that look. My body was already acting treacherously, a small fire of longing travelling along my bones that I knew would never be satisfied. The sooner I could get these two out of the café the better.

  Coming to Hollisea had been the worst possible idea. Just as soon as I’d finished here I would go back to the hotel, pack my bag and make my way home.

  Hearing the rattle of the front door, I called out, ‘Sorry, we’re closed.’

  But it wasn’t a customer. At the continued rat-a-tat-tat on the window, I glanced across and just recognised Mandy’s face through the glass. Relieved to see her, I rushed over and fumbled with the lock before beckoning her inside.

  ‘How is he? How’s Bob?’

  ‘Oh Anna, he’s going to be fine.’ I could hear the relief in her words and I threw my arms around her for a hug. I think we were both in need of one the way she collapsed into my arms.

  I couldn’t help noticing how Dave turned round, slowly, tilting his head to one side in an exaggerated fashion, his eyes wide. I ignored his unasked question and concentrated instead on what Mandy was telling me.

  ‘Apparently, it was some sort of angina attack,’ she went on. ‘He’s going to need some new medications, but the doctors seem to think it will be manageable. I can’t tell you what a relief that is. There was a moment there where I thought I was going to lose him. Really, Anna, it was so scary.’

  Dave tilted his head to the side some more. I saw Natalie lean across the table to him and whisper something in his ear, the intimacy of her gesture creating a sharp pain in my chest. I swear I heard the name Persephone mentioned.

  ‘Anyway, I needn’t have worried about anything here.’ Mandy smiled. ‘You look as though you’ve got everything under control. Any problems?’

  ‘No problems at all,’ I said, Mandy’s arrival making me realise I was completely exhausted. I hadn’t sat down once in the last few hours and my legs were aching from all the to-ing and fro-ing.

  ‘I shall have to keep you on then,’ she said, laughing.

  My cheeks flushed as Dave glanced my way again as he and his friend stood up to leave.

  ‘Thanks very much …’ He paused and gave a small non-committal shrug as he handed me the saucer with his payment. I don’t know what annoyed me more. The fact that he’d left me a tip or the fact that his friend hadn’t touched her baked beans.

  ‘Thanks. Bye,’ I said, feeling the cold waft of air that rushed through the door to greet me. It was either that or the cold front coming from Dave’s direction.

  Chapter Twelve

  Back in my hotel room, still stinging from the humiliation of coming face to face with Dave in the café, I had a very quick shower, threw on my jeans and a T-shirt and stuffed the rest of my things in my holdall. I glanced at my watch. I had a feeling there was a train just on the hour so if I got a move-on I might just be able to catch it. I needed to get away from Hollisea as quickly as possible. I’d run away from home and now I was running straight back again and I still wasn’t sure if I was any the wiser as to what I was going to do.

  I was just tying up my laces when there was an unmistakable knock at the door. It could only be one person. Neil, I thought warmly. And it would save me a job at least. I wanted to say goodbye to him before I left.

  I swung open the door, but the sight waiting for me on the threshold made me quickly shut it again.

  For a moment I wondered if I was in the middle of a nightmare, or hallucinating even. I relived in my head those last few moments. I’d opened the door and no I definitely hadn’t imagined it. It was definitely Ben, Ed and Sophie standing there. The team London firing squad. Ed’s plaintive voice begging me to open the door only confirmed the fact.

  ‘Anna, don’t be silly. Please open up the door and let us in.’

  ‘No, I’m sorry; I’m a bit busy at the moment.’

  My body slid down the back of the door and I sat on the floor, hugging my knees, struggling to find my breath. Okay, so I’d been on the verge of leaving and going back to face each of them, but that was on my terms. That would at least have given me two hours of thinking and preparation time. I wasn’t ready to see them now in my hotel room. Hearing Ed’s voice had seen all my resolve leave my body.

  This was my escape pad, my little sanctuary. How dare they turn up here without warning? Anger fizzled through my veins.

  ‘Well, we’re not leaving until you do let us in.’

  ‘Nope, I’m sorry; you should have made an appointment if you’d wanted to see me.’ Oh God, that sounded ridiculous even to me. ‘I’ll be back in London tomorrow, come and see me then.’

  ‘Come on, Annie, don’t be like that.’ Ed’s voice was warm, plaintive and all too familiar. ‘I shouldn’t need to make an appointment to see my fiancé. I’ve been trying to get hold of you for days, we all have, but you’ve not been answering your phone. I’ve been going out of mind with worry about you. Come on, please, we need to talk.’

  Hearing Ed’s voice and catching that quick glimpse of the three people who I’d considered my very best friends standing outside my room had made everything stop in my world. It was as though the last few days counted for nothing and for the briefest moment I could imagine throwing open the door wide, inviting them in and forgetting everything that had happened. Until I remembered the diary.

  Wasn’t it a bit late for talking? The damage had been done and for the life of me I couldn’t see how that damage could be undone. But hang on a minute, what exactly were they all doing here?

  Ben had promised me he wouldn’t say anything to anybody.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, as if I didn’t already know the answer to that one but desperately trying to buy some time.

  ‘Look, Anna.’ Now it was Ben’s voice. ‘I’m really sorry but I had to tell Ed. I know I said I wouldn’t but really, it was impossible. He was going to turn up at your parents’ place and I knew you wouldn’t have wanted that. Everyone’s been asking after you and wondering where you are. I was worried about you too, worried that you might do something stupid. If anything had happened to you I would have felt responsible.’

  It seemed I couldn’t rely on anyone. Not Ed, Sophie, Ben or Dave even. Well done, Ed, you’ve quashed my faith in the entire human population.

  ‘Right, well, I’m perfectly fine as you can see. And the only stupid thing I did was actually believing that my fiancé might want to marry me instead of going behind my back and sleeping with my flatmate, who I had actually thought quite liked me too. I also thought that if I told you something, Ben – you being my friend and everything – you might keep my confidence. How wrong can you be?’

  ‘I was only thinking of you, Anna, I promise.’ I could hear the exasperation in Ben’s voice and I felt a pang of guilt. None of this was his fault.

  I stood up and wandered over to the window and wondered, for a fleeting moment, if there was any means of escape. Maybe I could spend the rest of my life on the run, a fugitive from the wedding from hell.

  I really didn’t want to face the hapless trio outside and hear their pathetic excuses.

  Sadly, I was two floors up and any escape plan would result in personal injury and however much I wanted to make a statement I didn’t want to make that kind of statement so I had to either let them in or sit it out and wait till they got fed up.

  ‘Just go away!’ I hissed.

  ‘Oh, don’t be like that, please. I know we all owe you a huge apol
ogy and we want to make it up to you if only you’ll let us. Come on, Anna, just open the door. We’ll just sit outside if you don’t.’

  Only I had a feeling I might get fed up before they did.

  ‘You can come in, Ben. But I don’t want to see you, Ed, or Sophie. Especially not you, Sophie. I’m sure the two of you can find something to fill your time with. I mean, it’s not exactly been a problem these last few months, has it?’

  What did I have to say that for? I hated myself for who I’d become. There was a huge spill of venom waiting to rip off my tongue, but I bit it back. They were the ones who’d acted in an undignified manner. I didn’t need to reduce myself to their level.

  There was a lot of muffled whisperings coming from the other side of the door.

  ‘Okay, Anna.’ Ben was talking to me in that slow and long-drawn-out way that suggested I was emotionally unstable and might do something very silly at any moment. ‘Ed and Sophie are going to grab a coffee, so you can let me in now.’ Put down the gun, I half expected him to say. ‘Let’s have a chat, just you and me. Come on, open the door.’

  I eased the door open slowly, peering through the gap, just to make sure I wasn’t falling into a trap and then pulled it open wider when I was certain it was only Ben standing there.

  ‘Hi,’ I said nonchalantly, as though we hadn’t just been through that whole ridiculous charade.

  ‘You all right?’ he asked, in the same way, wandering in and looking all around him. ‘This is very nice, must be costing you a fortune.’

  Gosh, it was good to see him. It seemed like months, rather than days.

  ‘Yeah, well, I really didn’t want to slum it. I thought I deserved a bit of pampering after the way I was treated.’ The easy familiarity of the other day when we’d drunk coffee in his kitchen had been replaced by a wary awkwardness. I turned to face him as he sat on the end of my bed, his gaze fixed on the carpet. ‘Why did you have to go and tell, Ed? All I wanted was a couple of days away to get my head straight. You promised me you wouldn’t say anything.’