by Dana Mason
He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Maybe I should postpone my start date at work,” he said. “They’ll understand if I ask for another week after what happened.”
Ali turned to face him. “No, I’m fine. I can take care of things by myself.” With a wave of self-loathing, she remembered her vow to be more independent. She sidestepped him and went back to sit on the couch.
He followed her over and said, “What’s that look?” He tilted his head as he stared down at her. “Micah will be fine out here tonight, I promise.”
She brushed her hair back and said, “I’m not worried.”
“Then what is it? You’re upset about something.”
“I’m fine and I can take care of myself,” she said. “Thank you for wanting to help, but I’m capable of handling things on my own.”
“Is that what this is about, your pride?” he asked. “Have I injured your delicate sensibilities by wanting to help you?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t patronize me, Johnny.”
His voice dropped low and he ran a finger down her cheek. “I have no doubt you can handle yourself. I’ve already seen how strong you are.”
“Yeah? Is that why you tricked me into going to the store today?”
“I don’t want you to go through the anxiety alone. I gave you a little push because I knew you could do it. Ditto with keeping Micah out here tonight.”
She couldn’t help feel a little defensive. She was a joke compared to him, compared to everyone. “I just…I feel like.” She dropped her hands on her legs and rubbed her jeans up and down, looking for the right words. “I’ve always had someone to take care of me and I need to be more independent.”
“You’ve been alone since Christmas, taking care of your kids on your own. What is that, if not independent?”
Ali shrugged her shoulders. “I feel like I’m an inadequate person—woman, because I rely so heavily on men to take care of me. First Mark—still Mark in a lot of ways, then Carl, and now you.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
His eyes widened slightly. “What?”
As if she didn’t feel self-conscious enough, he looked at her like she had three heads. “It’s true. What am I if I can’t take care of myself and my children without a man around?”
“I also rely on you.” He laid a hand on his chest. “Does that make me an inadequate man?”
“You don’t rely on me,” she said knitting her eyebrows together.
“I do, I absolutely do.” He reached out for her hand and pulled her closer. “When you’re not with me I’m a complete wreck, and don’t know what to do with myself. It’s pathetic really.” He lifted her chin then ran his finger along her forehead to brush her bangs out of the way.
She leaned back on the couch as he kissed his way from her jaw line down to the soft skin between her breasts. “I have never needed anyone like I need you.” He expertly slid the buttons open on her blouse and said, “And I have never wanted a woman like I want you…all the time.”
He unclipped the front of her bra and cupped her breast with his hands. She moaned when he took her nipple into his mouth.
“You know,” she said running her hands through his hair.
“Hum,” he said looking up into her eyes.
“I thought I was quite the rebel after having a one night stand with you, now we’ve blown that image straight to hell.”
“I guess we’ll have to do something else adventurous to keep your reputation intact.” He smiled and continued brushing his lips across her collarbone. “Maybe we should really shake our fist at the world and not use a condom.”
She laughed. “We don’t use condoms.”
“Aha…see,” he said. “We’re living on the edge.”
“Honey, that’s not edgy. We’re both clean and I’m on the pill.”
His eyes popped up and met hers. “You’re on the pill?”
“Yeah, is that a problem for you?”
“No, I figured you were—just confirming.”
“You’re about two and a half months too late to confirm something like that.”
“Why?” He kissed his way down to her navel. “Are you pregnant?”
“No, but if you were worried you should have asked in Maui.”
“First, I used a condom in Maui.” He lifted and removed his own shirt. “Second, I’m not worried. I would love nothing more than for you to be pregnant.”
She gasped and pushed at him. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” He looked up at her face. “Why? You’re not done are you? You can still get pregnant, can’t you?”
“Yeah, but not now, things are hard enough right now.”
“We have Micah, I can wait.” He leaned back down to kiss her navel before unhooking her slacks. When her pants were open, he rested his cheek on her stomach. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Ali laughed. “I’m pretty sure.” Her stomach did flips at the thought of having his baby. She rested her hand on his head and said, “You really want to have a baby with me one day.”
He looked up and into her eyes. “I would love to see my baby growing in your tight little tummy.”
“Can you wait a couple of years?”
Johnny smiled and said, “Yeah…but I want a girl next time.”
Ali’s entire body relaxed. If only Micah was his child. She fought back the emotions pushing through and said, “I would love a little girl too, unfortunately I don’t have much control over it.”
“I guess we’ll have to keep trying until we get it right.”
“Ha-ha—now I’m terrified.”
“Don’t be—think about how much fun we’ll have while we’re trying.” He slid his hands up and cupped her breasts, letting his tongue roam her stomach.
She moaned and said, “That feels really good.”
“You taste really good…it must be the water out here in California. You’re so damn sweet. I swear I’ll never get enough of you.” He tugged on her pants while his teeth grazed her hip.
“I thought we were going to break-in the bed.”
“We are.” He stood and scooped her up like a baby, carrying her into the bedroom and sitting her on the bed before stripping off his pants. He pulled her to the edge of the bed as she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I figure…” he said breathless as he kissed her. “It’s going to take all night to really get the bed ready…tomorrow it should be perfect.”
“Tomorrow…” she whispered, wishing he’d shut up and make love to her already.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need you here at least one more night.” One hand threaded through her hair while the other found the sweet spot between her legs. “Maybe even two.” He parted her with his fingers and asked, “Is that okay with you?”
“Umhum,” she moaned biting her bottom lip and dropping her head back arching her body closer to his.
“I thought it would be.”
Ali loved his touch. It was masterful and so controlled. She could think of nothing else but his mouth, hands, fingers, even his breath on her skin seemed seductive. She moved with him, drawing closer and wanting more—everything.
He laid her back and kissed his way down to between her legs. She stretched and gasped when his mouth found the right spot.
“God damn you’re sweet.” He kissed her inner thigh, nipping the skin. An electric charge rushed up her spine with every touch and every kiss.
God…how did he always know where to touch her? His hands felt like her personal pleasure toy and he knew exactly how to use them. She felt secure and content with him and with every new sensation he gave her, she was more completely his.
“Johnny,” she gasped and jerked up nearly losing her control.
“I know, sunshine�
�� but we got all night.” He took her mouth, sucking her lip and pressing against her. Ali gripped his hips and tried to pull him closer until she felt him properly, but he wouldn’t give. He pushed her back down and hovered over her, slowly kissing her and licking her skin one region at a time until Ali was sure she’d go mad.
“J…Johnny…oh, no, you…can’t…”
“What was that?” he asked
He smiled against her stomach. “You want me to stop?”
“Nooo…God no, don’t stop…please.”
He kissed his way back up her stomach to her chest until he got to her chin; he nipped her chin then parted her lips with his tongue. He stopped and looked into her eyes. “Alison…” he crooned. “My sweet Alison…I love you.”
Ali listened to the rhythmic sound of his sexy voice and thought she was living in a dream. It was too good, too perfect to be real. This man and his love had clutched her heart with one hand and her soul with the other and she knew he would never let go.
When he slipped inside her, she came alive with such lurid sensations a soft cry slipped from between her lips. “Oh my God, baby.”
She didn’t think she could take anymore. It was just this side of delirious torture, and then he thrust inside her again, harder. She moved with him, grasping his hips to help him keep pace, hoping beyond hope he didn’t stop.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart.”
Her eyes popped open and she lost what little control she still held.
“There’s my sunshine.”
His whispered words pushed her over the edge. She shuddered and gripped him as she cried out. Seconds later he tightened, grunted, and then quivered with one last thrust before stopping and gently lowering himself down next to her.
His heart pounded next to hers. She closed her eyes, more content and happy than she’d been in many years. Her life had changed so dramatically over the past few months. Maybe Johnny was right, maybe she needed to stop worrying about things and just be happy she was in love and had a future with him to look forward too.
Ali woke up to her cell phone ringing on the bedside table. “Hello?” she answered blinking at the sun shining in the room.
“Mrs. Hayes?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“This is Linda from Doctor Webber’s office calling to reschedule Micah’s appointment. We have an opening this afternoon. Will you be able to bring Micah in?”
“Um…this afternoon?” she asked as Johnny came into the room carrying Micah.
“Yes, ma’am, we had a cancellation today.”
“Today…what time?” Ali asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
“One-fifteen this afternoon.”
She looked at Johnny and said, “Okay…we can be there at one fifteen.”
“Great! We can’t wait to see Micah again.”
“Thank you.” She closed her phone and laid it back on the nightstand.
“Who was that?” Johnny asked.
“Good morning, sweetpea.” She reached out for Micah. “It was the doctor’s office. They wanted to reschedule his appointment.”
“Reschedule…what appointment?”
“He’s late for his four-month well baby appointment and they want to follow-up from when he was seen in Sacramento after he was found. I didn’t make it to the appointment last Wednesday.”
“Ali, if Micah needs to go get checked out, you shouldn’t put it off.”
She moaned, hiding her face in the bed. “I know…”
“Why didn’t you ask me to take you?”
“I don’t know, I was just afraid.” Her words were muffled by the comforter. She poked her eye out to see him. “Will you take us today?”
“Of course I’ll take you.” He reached out and stroked his hand down the length of her hair. “Let me take you out to breakfast, how about Crepes N’ More?”
She popped her head up. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Nope—not kidding—I think that’s a good baby step.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Yes, ma’am, we’re going. Go shower.” He grabbed her duffle bag and unzipped it. “Come on, get up.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
When Johnny parked the car, Ali’s body grew heavy in protest. He reached over for her hand, but she couldn’t look at him. Her sanity hung by a thread and his eyes would only make her lose control faster. He waited, watching her, and Ali didn’t understand why this was important to him. Why here? Why this restaurant? She fought back tears and nausea at the same time. When Johnny squeezed her hand and quietly said, “Let’s go,” she thought her heart would jump out of her chest.
Ali shook her head and kept her eyes forward. Johnny released her hand then got out of the car and walked to her door. When the door opened she held her breath as he reached in and clicked her seat belt off. “I can’t carry you and Micah,” he said glowering over her. “We’re going in there. You can do this, sweetheart.”
Ali shook her head again.
Johnny squatted next to her. “Take a deep breath, you’re turning blue.”
“I don’t think I can do it,” she gushed out, releasing the air in her lungs.
He reached over and cupped her chin, turning her to face him. “You need this…we need to do this.” When she didn’t respond, he stood and opened the back door to get Micah out of the car seat.
She turned quickly, her voice rising. “I don’t think I can do it.”
He held his hand out. “Come on, Micah and I will help you.” He looked at her face and said, “Take a deep breath and take my hand.”
Ali inhaled slowly, getting dizzy with the rush of air. She reached out for his hand, he felt warm and soft, but strong. He squeezed hers and gave her a little tug to get her out of the car.
He closed the door and backed her against the car, locking eyes with her. “If you want to prove your independence, fight this fear and walk into the restaurant with me.”
She nodded, her cheeks hot. What a contradiction she looked like when he put it like that. What a coward she was for acting like such a baby.
“Sunshine, I’m not trying to make you feel worse. I need to make sure you can handle things on your own when we’re not together. I don’t want to worry about you. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.”
Once she slid into the booth, an overwhelming sense of relief washed through her. And an overwhelming sense of frustration, mixed with love made her smile up at Johnny when he took her hands across the table and told her how well she had done. He was relentless, and it drove her crazy, but it also worked.
After paying the tab, Johnny took her hand and they walked out together. Ali glanced around, following his instructions on where to look and what to look for. She held her head up, and with a racing pulse walked to the car without hesitation. He was right, instead of trying to prove she didn’t need a man to take care of her, she needed to start living and breathing it. But that was easier said than done. She’d never felt personally in danger before. The idea of having to protect herself if someone approached made her feel extremely vulnerable. Mark had given her the basics of self-defense when they were married, but she never took it seriously on the assumption that he would always be there to protect her. When Mark wasn’t there, she had Carl and she always felt safe with him as well.
She thought of the grip Carl had on her arm, and rubbed at the bruises. Proof she was, at least somewhat, capable of protecting herself. Johnny was right, she needed to feel safe on her own. He couldn’t be there all the time and she appreciated that he wanted her to know how to handle herself, instead of always wanting to hover over her to protect her.
Now with a real threat, she wanted to kick herself for being blind to the dangers lurking out there for her and her kids. The safe, secure
little world she treasured had been invaded and now nothing would ever be the same. She would always be scared and she hated that. It didn’t help now that she knew Carl wasn’t to be trusted. As much as she hated him for what he’d done during their marriage, she never thought she had to fear him like she did now.
She thought about Sarah and how she’d spent so many years hiding from a man who would hunt her down one day. Was this the same? Was Micah a target now? It was her job as his mother to protect him, could she do it? She shuddered at the thought, and it got Johnny’s attention.
“Everything okay?” He asked.
“Do you think they’ll come back for him?” she asked. “—the same people?”
“I think he is as safe as any other baby. They gave him back, didn’t they?” He looked over at her from the driver’s seat. “We’ll keep him safe, sweetheart.”
She stared at him, admiring his self-confidence and strength. “Why after getting hit by that car twice, are you not afraid?”
“It’s not the first time someone has tried to run me down. It’s different for cops; we deal with things like that every day.” He shrugged. “I guess I’m a little immune to it.”
Ali looked over when he stopped the car, surprised they were sitting in her driveway.
He put the car in park and said, “Let’s run in and get some more stuff for y’all tonight before we head over to the doctor’s office.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah.” He grinned at her. “You told me last night you would stay another night.”
“I did?”
“Yes, ma’am. Don’t you remember?”
“No.” Ali stared at his smile and tried to remember the conversation from the night before. “I would like to stay another night, but I don’t remember talking…” His eyes lit up and she realized what the joke was. “Oh…you’re sneaky.”
“Remember now?”
“Umhum…yeah, I recall something about needing another night to break the bed in.” She smiled and opened the car door.