Bite Deeper (Keepers of the Swamp Book 3)

by T. S. Joyce

  And there it was.

  It was almost as if these women had given her permission to consider a home here. They’d taken the shame away at going back to a small life after building something big. They weren’t booting her out, or asking when she was leaving. They were being open with her about how life could be if she chose Cole. If she chose Uncertain.

  “Uncertain sure is a good name for this town,” she said. “Because I’ve learned that nothing works in a straight line here. I wonder if I’m tough enough to be the mate he needs. I wonder if I still have enough of that swamper grit in me. But then I think about Cole, and how it feels when he’s around me or when he touches me. Smiles at me. Talks to me. Makes me feel safe and like everything will be all right. Then I think I do have that grit hidden in me somewhere. He’s changed so much in the years I’ve been gone, but so have I.” She blew out a sigh. “I don’t want him to think I’m fragile anymore.”

  “Fragile like a fuckin’ hurricane,” Morgan said in that thick, sassy accent of her. “He said you were fragile?”

  Bre snorted. “Cole’s trying to chase you off with that talk. Have you ever seen one of those movies where someone’s trying to set a wild animal free? Only they’ve befriended that wild animal, and the animal doesn’t want to go. So they shoo them away while they’re really hurting inside that they have to say goodbye. But they feel like they have to set them free because they love the animal so much, and the wild would be a better life for them.” She arched her eyebrows. “That’s what Cole is doing to you. He thinks you’re too fragile for his life? Go show him how stubborn a woman can be and watch him change his tune real fast. That’s they’re move. Holt and Liam tried to shoo us away too, but we turned into those little sticker burs and implanted ourselves into their lives instead.”

  Morgan giggled. “I like how you didn’t say we turned into glue, or affectionate cats, or something cute. You said sticker burrs.”

  Raina chuckled. It was pretty funny, and the girls’ soft laughter was contagious, so Mae started laughing, too. Then she laughed some more. Louder. Harder. Until she had a case of the giggles and was wiping tears of laughter off her face. Holy hell, nothing should be funny about this situation. There were like forty bugs flying around them thanks to the headlights, something was definitely moving in the bushes beside the road—please, Lord, let it be a rabbit—and she’d almost just left the man of her dreams…nightmares? God, she was dating a dog. “I have the hairiest boyfriend,” she joked.

  “Your dinner dates will be so cheap,” Bre said. “It’s just a bowl of dogfood.”

  “Oh my God, we should not be joking about this,” Morgan muttered, trying to bite back a smile. Their laughter faded off, punctuated by the occasional giggle, until Morgan whispered, “My, what big teeth you have,” which sent them all into a fit of laughter again.

  “At least he’s a German Shepherd and not a toy poodle,” Bre said as they climbed back into the Bronco. “Bright side.”

  “Thank you, Raina, for not turning him into a toy poodle,” Mae said as she climbed into the back seat with Morgan.

  “Or that fuckin’ thing,” Morgan said, jamming a finger at Squirts. “It looks like a zombie chicken.”

  “Heeeey,” Mae said. “She can hear you. Don’t listen to them, Squirts. You are the prettiest chicken in the world.”

  “Cluck, cluck, cluck bagaaaack!” Squirts screeched. She didn’t have the prettiest voice of the flock, but what she lacked in tone, she made up for in volume. Much like Mae when she sang along with the radio.

  “Okay, Mae,” Bre said, turning on the Bronco. “Which way will it be? Do I take you out of town? Or back home?”

  Home. Like she’d written on that text to Bre. She gave a private smile for the word. It felt like the right term now for Tabby’s house. Her house. She could maybe fix it up with her savings, put her cute furniture from her apartment in it, make it her own. The heaviness was lifting with each hopeful thought.

  Maybe this is what Tabby had intended. Not for her to sell the house and have a bigger nest egg, but to give Mae a safe landing place. Tabby had to have known Cole was alive and Mae would figure it out eventually.

  Clever great-granny. Strong swamper woman who refused to give up an inch of her happiness until the day she passed.

  Not a gosh-darned inch.

  Mae had been right to look up to her all those years.

  Hugging Squirts tighter to her chest, she grinned at Bre. “I wanna be a sticker burr.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I know what you’re doing,” Liam said, breaking the long stretch of silence.

  Cole sniffed along the ground and ignored him.

  “I’m not good with this feeling shit, Fargo. Or Cole. Or what-the-fuck-ever I’m supposed to call you now. But I think more now that I’ve met Morgan. I think about how other people feel. People that I care about.”

  Cole growled at him before trotting ahead of him. This wasn’t what he’d wanted to do tonight. He wanted to sniff out all of Cal and Seamus’s traps and not think. Just work. Liam was messing everything up.

  “You’d have to run a mile away to not here me, dog. Nice try,” Liam said behind him.

  The iron scent of metal ghosted the sensitive lining of his nose, and he turned to the right. No, not that way. He changed direction and the scent got stronger. Careful now. The moon was full and cast the Uncertain woods around Liam’s house in a blue glow. He had great night vision.

  But he hadn’t been paying attention earlier today and set off a metal-toothed coyote trap in Liam’s woods, had barely flinched his paw back in time. Cal and Seamus’s scent was all over these woods now that he was paying attention.

  He’d punished Cal, though. Fucker nearly bled out when he’d gone for the big vein in his thigh. He would forever dream of the sweet sound of him screaming. Morgan could’ve stepped into one of his traps. Or Liam. They were Cole’s to protect. They were all his. Fuck anyone who came after them. Too bad Seamus had wised up quick and grabbed a shot gun. Cole was fast, but not fast enough to escape all of the birdshot. He’d been feeling the burn of those metal pellets in his hind end for the last few hours, but his body was strong now. It would push them out soon. The pain was worth it.

  I miss her.

  The pang of loss washed through him again. And again and again and again, and it would go on forever…and ever…and ever. Mae. He was losing Mae.

  He squeezed his eyes closed against the pain and pointed, body frozen, one front paw lifted under him, nose angled toward the metal killing contraption half-heartedly buried in some leaves and forest debris.

  Liam walked up beside him and slammed a big walking stick into it. Clack! The sound echoed through the woods, and then the metal clanked as Liam ripped it from the anchor in the tree roots. “You’re pushing her away, Cole. You don’t get it. It ain’t your choice for her to leave. It’s hers. You think I didn’t do this to Morgan? You think I didn’t want better for her? You think I want to put her through the hell of my life? Wrong. You’re wrong, man. Have you even been over there? To her house? Have you even checked in on her? Or is this one of those cold-turkey self-sabotaging moves?”

  Fargo snarled at him, baring his teeth this time. Careful, Liam. This isn’t your business. Cole could protect his mate however he saw fit, and if that meant protecting her from himself? So be it. He trotted off to clear the next trap, but Liam wasn’t done with his obnoxious chitter-chatter.

  “That’s why you’re avoiding Holt and Bre’s house, right? They’re giving you shit for leaving her alone.”

  The snarling in his chest rattled louder. He could smell more metal. Just work.

  “That’s why you’ve been sleeping on my porch. Why you watch every step Morgan makes, focusing on keeping her safe because Holt and Bre aren’t an option right now. It’s why you were in my woods, found that trap, and went after Cal in the middle of the fuckin’ day. To protect me? You know who you should be protecting, Cole?”

  He sp
un and lost it. Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up! I AM PROTECTING HER! FROM ME! FROM THIS SHIT LIFE! SHE DESERVES BETTER!

  Liam’s eyes glowed gold in the dark, and his face was grim. Seemingly unsurprised by Cole charging him, he rushed out, “Morgan texted me. The girls are with Mae because Seamus went to her house tonight. He scared her.” Liam jammed a finger at him. “And you weren’t there!”

  Those few words froze Cole in his tracks. His paws dug into the earth, and he stopped a few feet in front of the gator shifter.

  Fuck. Was she okay? If he’d ever wished for anything, it was never as hard as he wished he didn’t have a heart right now so it wouldn’t hurt so bad.

  All I do is let her down.

  Liam shook his head, as if he understood the words Cole could only say with his eyes.

  “None of this is your choice, Cole. All you can do is let her make hers, to stay or go, and have her back. No matter what, have her back. Be her rock. Get her through this. It’s not about you or what you think she needs. It’s about what she actually needs.”

  Cole turned and had a moment. It was a dark moment of heartbreak and decision. He could see the teeth of the trap sticking up through the leaves underneath an old oak covered in Spanish Moss. And for a split second, he wanted everything to end. He wanted to be free. He wanted to free Mae. All he had to do was press his nose against that trigger, right there in the middle of it, and this would all be over—sharing a body with a creature that was stronger than him. She could really move on. He could stop dying with every Change.

  But…the thought of never seeing Mae again made it impossible to take a single step toward the trap. He’d thought he was taking care of her by torturing himself. By banishing himself to loneliness. And, good God, he’d ached for her these past three years. But she’d been building a life, and it had been worth it—all that sacrifice. Now she was here and knew the truth. Should she leave and go back to her good life? Yes. Would she? Hell if he knew. She was a strong-willed little critter. Always had been.

  Liam stepped around him and slammed the broken walking stick against the trigger pad. The deadly sound of metal on metal cracked through Liam’s woods, and he rounded on Cole. “Go home to your mate. That’s what she is. Until the second she leaves this place, she’s yours to protect, yours to defend. Yours to love. Tomorrow might never come, man. That’s the nature of our lives, and you know it’s true. We could step in a trap and be hunted down by morning. All you have is now. Don’t waste it.” Liam yanked the trap out of the ground and stood to his full height. His gator gold eyes with long pupils held such understanding as he whispered it again. “Go home.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You’re gonna be my little feather baby,” she crooned. “My little chicken nugget. My little clucky fetus. My family. I’m going to get a book about chickens and learn how to brush your feathers. We are going to have a happy life.” Oh, she should’ve just stuck to one beer, not three. Squirts was starting to look at her suspiciously. “Mommy loves you.”

  Squirts pecked her and struggled out of her arms. Mae pouted as she watched her run back into the open front door of the house. With a sigh, she leaned back against the railing of her porch. Her porch. Drawing up a knee, she rested one arm on it, a half-full beer bottle dangling from her hand. Tonight had been a roller coaster, but she felt a sense of relief. She’d never been one to stay stagnant or feel trapped. Making a decision finally was freeing.

  But she missed him.

  She missed her Cole. Her Fargo. All of him. Attention on the woods, as always, she made a wish. Perhaps she was supposed to wish on a star, but it felt right wishing on the woods of Uncertain. On her woods.

  I wish Cole would come back to me.

  But nothing happened. She waited and waited, but her wish didn’t come true. The breeze lifted her hair form her shoulders and settled back, time and time again. The frogs sang, the water lapped at the dock behind her house, and the crickets chirped. But nothing moved besides the waving grass.

  With a sigh, she stood and set the beer on the worn porch floorboards with a clunk. And then she made her way through the yard to the gravel driveway. Tabby had one of her boyfriends install garden lights along the edges, and thank goodness for that because it was a long walk to the main road. Being alone didn’t scare her. Being in these woods didn’t scare her either. This was so familiar. She’d grown up running wild in this forest with her childhood friends. The sounds here belonged. They blanketed her with comfort, like coming home after years and eating a favorite homecooked meal.

  This was her driveway. In Mae’s mind, she kept saying things were hers so she could accept them. It made her happy. Or perhaps relieved was a better word.

  So she made her way the long distance down the drive and to the mailbox. There were only letters for Tabby in there right now, but that would all change soon. It would be a milestone, getting her first piece of mail here. She turned to the For Sale sign and yanked it right out of the ground, then puffed out a breath and turned.

  And there sat Cole, just as he had the first day she’d seen him as a dog. He was sitting with his head cocked, staring at her.

  “Cole,” she murmured, hear heart pounding.

  He looked at the For Sale sign clutched against her chest.

  She swallowed hard. “I’m not ready to leave yet.” Tell him how it is. Be honest. She cleared her throat and dipped her gaze to his massive paws. “I’m not ready to leave you yet.”

  Would he run like he had that day in the barn?

  They stood there, yards of empty space between them, eyes locked, frozen in a moment that would change her life either way. “Stay or go, Cole?” she asked softly.

  Cole stood, and her heart raced faster as she realized again how big he really was. How could anyone mistake him for a real dog? Cole’s eyes looked back at her through the animal’s face with such understanding, such emotion, and as he approached, she set the sign down and fell to her knees.

  “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry here anymore,” she whispered, biting back her emotions with a thick, self-deprecating laugh.

  He nudged her hands with his massive nose, and she pet him for the first time, smoothing his ears back and scratching his neck. “Just so you know, I’m going to be good at this,” she whispered.

  Cole slipped his muzzle over her shoulder and let her cling to his thick neck. She gave him one of those hugs she loved, the tight ones. The ones that made a person feel whole again. She didn’t know if it worked on him, but she hoped it did, because, “I love you, you silly, dog-man.”

  With a whine in his throat, Cole backed away from her and lay on the ground. He closed his eyes and flinched. His muscles tensed and trembled from the strain. He whined again and curled in on himself, but nothing happened.

  He was trying to Change.

  “It’s okay,” she promised him, kneeling beside him. “It’s only been a few days.”

  He laid there panting, his eyes searching hers with something important he wanted to say. With a plea for understanding.

  “You tried to Change back,” she murmured. “You were okay with dying again. I think that means you love me, too.”

  He stood and licked the palm of her hand and rested his giant face against her chest while she scratched slow circles behind his ears.

  That was a yes.

  He loved her still.

  She wasn’t alone like she’d thought. Not at all.

  With a sniff, she stood and grabbed the For Sale sign. He trotted up the drive and paused right on the edge of a halo cast by one of the garden lights, looked over his shoulder at her. Waiting.

  Let’s go home.

  She could read it in his eyes.

  She was going to learn his language. So…she didn’t have the man all the time. At least she always had a piece of him, and that was more than some people ever found in their lifetime.

  So their love story didn’t look like everyone else’s. That was okay. She was different and he was
different, and they could write whatever story they wanted to.

  Chapter One had started years ago when a stranger handed her a letter when she was crying. They’d written a novel with their history. She’d thought they had lived the best parts of their lives already, but she’d been mistaken.

  She smiled to herself as she walked side by side with the massive shepherd. Her shepherd.

  She was starting to think the best of their love story had just begun.

  Chapter Sixteen

  You did good.

  Mae looked up from her favorite pair of sneakers from high school to find Tabby standing by the trunk of the oak in the front yard. She looked younger with darker hair, not so much silver, and her eyes weren’t so deeply lined with smile wrinkles.

  Tabby?” Mae whispered, standing slowly from the swing she’d been rocking in.

  Her great granny smiled. “Yeah, baby. It’s me.”

  Mae made her way to her in disbelief. “H-how are you here?” She glanced behind her at the house. It looked like it had a fresh coat of white paint, and the yard was mowed. It was snowing, and there was a trio of deer statues in the front yard. “I remember this day.”