Letters From the Heart
Page 6
Of course, you are aware that my brother’s friend visited his aunt for some weeks prior to your wedding. I confess that, at first, I did not look forward to his visit with much happiness. Do not fear, Sister, for it was unhappiness purely of my own making. Having now spent no small amount of time with his esteemed aunt and cousin, I had begun to believe I badly misjudged his character when he was in Hertfordshire last year. You know how capable I deemed myself in sketching the characters of those around me, so you will also know how little I appreciated discovering my own errors in that regard. Will it please you, dearest Jane, to know that I have mended my thoughts and now consider him to be almost as amiable as my new brother? To be certain, Mr Darcy is reticent in company, but I now believe that to be a result of shyness rather than arrogance or pride.
As to that other gentleman, from the militia, let us only say I was greatly deceived in his character. But I shall speak no more on that subject. Mr Darcy assures me he will undertake the task of warning my father. I am much relieved, for although we are of but little fortune, I feel our youngest sister in particular could be in danger from W’s attentions.
I know you shall have much less time to write now that you are wed, but should you find yourself in possession of a few moments, please send word of my father’s health. I do miss you, dear sister.
With all my love,
Elizabeth Collins
May 10, 1812
Pemberley, Derbyshire
Dear Richard,
We are at last returned to Pemberley, and I find myself able to think clearly for the first time in many months. I do not yet see a path forward, but I begin to suppose one might exist. I believe that at least Georgiana will return to Hertfordshire for some time this summer. Mrs Bingley has invited the pair of us to stay with them at Netherfield. How much this is due to her own wishes and how much to satisfy those of her younger sisters, I cannot know.
My own feelings on the subject are undetermined, but I am certain my sister desires to spend more time with her new friends, and as I know the militia will remove from the area before then, I find I have no serious objections to the scheme. We shall both, of course, travel to town in good time for Hargrove’s wedding. Will Lady Amelia be in town? I look forward to meeting this paragon of wisdom and beauty you speak of so incessantly. From your description, I have come to think she must be Aphrodite and Athena in one. Though if she truly possesses the wisdom of Athena, I cannot account for her preference for you. I believe our aunt will also attend; perhaps I shall speak to her concerning her parson and his wife.
I continue to dwell on the situation in Kent. Miss Elizabeth was not in attendance at her sister’s wedding, ostensibly due to a mishap at home. I have little doubt as to the nature of that mishap but find myself with no recourse. Even your father assures me there is no possibility of interference. As there is naught I can do at present to change the situation of Miss Elizabeth, I shall instead focus my attentions on her remaining sisters. Perhaps in assisting them, I may bring in some way a measure of happiness to her.
To that end, I have fulfilled my promise of speaking to her father on the subject of Wickham. Mr Bennet is much recovered from his illness and granted an interview based on the information he received from Mrs Bingley regarding my assistance in his care. I had much rather he had not been informed, as I did not wish to appear to purchase his approbation. I need not have concerned myself. Though willing to hear me, the gentleman was not at first inclined to give credit to my words. I fear the unfavourable impression I made in the neighbourhood was nothing to the opinion formed by the man himself when he learnt I had slighted his favourite daughter—a daughter whose absence he continues to mourn. I was forced to lay bare much more of my history with Wickham than I would have liked, but I trust Mr Bennet’s discretion with all I have imparted. In the end, he took my warning to heart. Mr Bennet feels he has failed one daughter already, and I believe he will now be even more vigilant in protecting those remaining at home. As to your offer, if you are still inclined to visit with Wickham’s superiors, I can only support the notion.
I fear I have been too long at writing this and must close if I am to accomplish half of what I intend to this day.
Your cousin,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
June 1, 1812
Hunsford Cottage, Kent
Dear Papa,
What relief I felt at receiving your letter can only be imagined. I am immensely pleased that you are so far recovered as to once again take up your pen and write to your daughter.
I must beg your forgiveness for taking so long in replying to your thoughtful words. I fear marriage has made me rather clumsy, and just after your letter arrived, I had an unfortunate encounter with some exceedingly hot tea. I fear the burn to my arm left me unable to write for some time. Do not worry, for I have since recovered, and excepting some little scarring, I am entirely myself again.
I think that you would not recognise your daughter, so changed as I am with my marriage. My cousin has succeeded where Mama despaired of all hope, and I am now nearly always a proper lady. Mr Collins is very diligent in correcting my behaviour on those occasions I may forget myself. I am sure Mama will be pleased to hear I have learnt to be silent and demure as is more becoming a clergyman’s wife. I have little time for leisure as I find that, with only a very few servants, my days are consumed with assisting in the kitchen and maintaining my home. I have discovered I have a talent for baking, and I find the process of making bread to be quite helpful in settling my mind. Mary will be pleased to know I have even learnt to appreciate the Reverend Fordyce, and when next we meet, I shall be able to quote him nearly as well as she. Fordyce’s works are a great favourite of Mr Collins, and he insists upon our reading it together for some time every day.
Though I do not envy you the discord it must have caused, I am pleased with the intelligence that Lydia did not go to Brighton. I fear her youth and lack of discretion could have badly injured more than just her character. As for my other sisters, please tell Kitty I treasure the sketch of Longbourn she sent. I did not know she possessed such talent! I keep it in my chambers where I may see it every morning when I wake. Mr Darcy mentioned Mary’s playing is much improved, and as that gentleman only rarely gives a compliment, I must take him at his word and say I long to hear her performance for myself. It may be some time before we visit as Mr Collins is loath to leave his parishioners or his patroness, and he does not think it proper for me to travel outside his company.
I pray daily for your continued recovery.
Your affectionate daughter,
Elizabeth Collins
June 1, 1812
Hunsford Cottage, Kent
Dear Lydia,
I know, sweet sister, that you are very angry at not being allowed to go to Brighton. You are young and beautiful and full of adventure. I have not been an ideal elder sister, but please believe me when I say you are far too young to chance losing your freedom. I could not bear to see you chained for life to a man who cared only for your charms but not for your liveliness of spirit. Mama is wrong, Lydia. You need not be married at so young an age. Please, please, Lyddie, allow Jane to guide you. Our eldest sister will show you how you may be yourself and still attract the kind of man who will truly care for your well-being. I daresay such a man might still be an officer. Though I should caution you that many soldiers would be unlikely to afford to keep a wife in the manner you would prefer, and I do not think I am wrong when I say you would not like to do your own cooking or to ruin your lovely hands in laundering your own clothes. Ask Mrs Hill and I am certain she will show you what is involved. I understand from Jane that Mr Darcy and his sister will visit again over the summer; perhaps renewing your acquaintance with Miss Darcy will make up for the loss of Mrs Forster in some small way.
Love,
Elizabeth Collins
July 10, 1812
Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire
Dear Aunt Catherine,
I must c
onfess to being surprised—not at the receipt of your letter, but rather by the contents therein. I admit to suspecting yet another plea to unite our houses and, based on that, nearly consigned your missive to the flames. My affection for Anne is that of a cousin only, as I hope you will someday accept. All the same, I am now glad I did not take such hasty measures before assuring myself of the contents of your missive.
I thank you for considering our conversation in June. There is, as we are both aware, no legal recourse to be had. Miss Elizabeth is entirely subject to her husband’s will. However, as his esteemed patroness, I believe you may have considerably more influence over the matter than might otherwise be supposed. Given that, I find your scheme to likely be successful. You need only emphasise to your parson your great displeasure should your wishes be ignored, and I have no doubt of his compliance. I do not know what assistance I can bring to bear; only tell me what you require and I shall provide it.
Georgiana requests you pass on the regards of her sisters to Miss Elizabeth when you call on her. We have spent these many weeks in Hertfordshire, and the Bennet sisters are frequent visitors to this house. I am bid to ask you inform your neighbour of her sisters’ continued improvement and good health. Miss Lydia in particular wishes her sister to know she is now thankful for having remained in Hertfordshire. I presume this refers to some earlier communication between the ladies as I am assured Miss Elizabeth will comprehend the message.
With gratitude,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
July 15, 1812
Hunsford Cottage, Kent
Dear Jane,
You are to be a mother! I can scarcely believe it. I wish you joy, and I insist on knowing every detail you choose to share on the subject.
Do not worry that I might be envious of your news, for I confess that I am not. Please do not think me so very wicked for rejoicing that I have yet to achieve your current state. I do not believe it is anything to do with me that such an event has not come to pass. For though I know little of the marriage bed, I am certain that a child cannot come about from the manner of my cousin’s attentions to my person. I have shocked you, but I cannot apologise, for if I do not confide in you, to whom else may I turn? I shall say no more on the subject excepting this: where I once thought our sister Mary would have made a better match for our cousin, I am now thankful that, of all my sisters, he chose me to be his wife. I would not wish him on any other.
There is so much more I should like to say, but Mr Collins will return soon, and I must be prepared to welcome him home. Remember me to Papa and my brother and sisters.
Love,
Elizabeth Collins
September 1, 1812
Pemberley, Derbyshire
Dear Bingley,
I wish you joy on the coming addition to your family. I am certain you and Mrs Bingley will be excellent parents. I cannot feign surprise that your youngest sister has determined to ingratiate herself with your wife. I am even less surprised at her motive. A rational person would have long ago released the hope Miss Bingley continues to harbour, and I can only ask you to remind her she will never be included in an invitation to my homes, no matter her connexions. The absence of her appointed rival has not caused my affections or wishes to change.
Georgiana asks that I relay her particular regards to the younger Bennet sisters and assures me she in no way means to slight you and your excellent wife. I think I may rightly credit your new family for the improved confidence my sister displays. I am hopeful the change is of a lasting nature, and I suppose I shall discover more when we are amongst our extended family this Christmas season.
In friendship,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
September 1, 1812
Rosings Park, Kent
Dear Jane,
I fear my last letter gave you rather more distress than joy. I am sorry to add to your burdens. I can only plead that I was somewhat out of spirits that day. Since then something of a most unexpected nature has occurred. Please do not be alarmed as I believe this change will be of some benefit.
When I sent your letter, I had not left the parsonage in some five or six days due to another silly mishap that left me unfit to be seen outside my home. Apparently, my absence left Lady Catherine most seriously displeased, and the great lady condescended to pay a call. In all my months of marriage, that was the first day she had graced me with such a visit. She was there only a short time, but after looking over my person with a most critical eye, she pronounced there to be no reason I should not return to Rosings with her that afternoon and wait for my cousin to join us for dinner that evening. Mr Collins naturally complied with the wishes of his patroness despite his own misgivings.
In the course of the afternoon, Lady Catherine bid me to begin calling on her daughter daily as Miss de Bourgh expressed a desire to know me better. Knowing my husband would not favour such an arrangement, I demurred. The Lady became so insistent that I was obligated to outright decline with the explanation that Mr Collins could not well spare me so often. Lady Catherine scoffed at this but did not press me further.
I shall not bore you with the details of the evening meal for it is the conversation after that brought so much change. We had not long retired to the drawing room when Lady Catherine remarked that I was much altered since coming to Kent. When Mr Collins attempted to take credit for the improvement in my character, Lady Catherine stopped him before he could complete even one sentence. She informed him she did not think the alteration to be in his favour and that she rather preferred the “witty, if impertinent” bride she first encountered. She then censured my clumsiness, saying she had never met a person so inclined to mishaps and injury as myself. “Mr Collins,” said she, “it will not do for your wife to continue sustaining these grievous injuries. She must receive better care.”
My husband turned quite pale at her words, yet he could naught but agree. Lady Catherine then informed Mr Collins that my presence would be required at Rosings every day to attend to Miss de Bourgh. Mr Collins thought to disagree, but the Lady was rather insistent and would carry her point over all his objections. Before we departed that night, the arrangements were made.
I am happy to report that there has not been a single mishap since that night. I spend my afternoons with Miss de Bourgh. She is a charming conversationalist, and we have much in common. When she retires for an hour or two to rest, I am at leisure to walk the paths around Rosings, write letters to my dear family, or even lose myself in the library.
I believe my father would delight in the library at Rosings. From what Miss de Bourgh tells me, Mr Darcy has added to the collection here nearly as faithfully as to his own. It is good to read something other than Fordyce for a change. Only do not tell Mary I said so.
Love,
Elizabeth Collins
October 3, 1812
Rosings Park, Kent
Dear Mary,
Once again, you have given me the gift of a visit home through your excellent letter, and I thank you. I am as anxious to hear you play a duet with Lydia as I am to look upon one of Kitty’s drawings. I would not have thought Lyddie to have such interest in playing the pianoforte, but I am rather pleased to know she has found an occupation that does not involve flirting or officers. From all you say, it seems our younger sisters are wholly changed from my memories of them. I think, when at last we are together, it will almost be as though I am meeting strangers. Do not think me maudlin; I simply marvel at their improvement and long to see it for myself.
I am equally pleased to know you passed an enjoyable summer in the company of Miss Darcy. I continue to wonder at your description of Mr Darcy’s ease in the company of our father and sisters. To be certain, I found him much altered when he visited in the spring from what I had previously known of him, but to find the alteration to be of a lasting nature is surprising indeed. I cannot account for it.
Dearest, you really must cease comparing yourself with any of your sisters. You are talented and intelligent with a gene
rous spirit and a devotion to your family that must be an inspiration to any who know you. ’Tis true you are not our mother’s favourite, but I would not count that as a disadvantage. You know very well that Mama prefers whichever of her daughters might be of the most benefit to her on any day. Never have I enjoyed that lady’s approbation as I did in the few weeks of my engagement. Yet now that I have been so long married with no evidence of an heir forthcoming, I am once again out of favour. Such capricious behaviour must not be allowed to govern your opinions.