The Lost Lullaby

by Jason Segel

  “Not all of us,” India said. “Izzie won’t like seeing so many people around. I know you want someone to stay with me for safety, but I’m afraid only one other person can go.”

  “I can open the portal faster than anyone else,” Jack said.

  “Yeah, but the last time we saw ICK, she was hanging out in a cavern that belongs to me,” Charlie countered.

  “And I own the purple mansion and its tower,” Charlotte said. “So I say we draw straws to see who gets to keep India company up there.”

  Charlie’s stepmom pulled a matchbook out of a drawer, chose three matches, and ripped the end off of one. She held the three matches like a tiny bouquet and let Jack pick first. He drew a regular-sized match. Charlie chose next and got the short one.

  “I thought I was supposed to be the lucky one,” Jack grumbled.

  Charlie decided it was best not to gloat. “Let’s go,” he told the others. “We’ve got a lot of work to do before India and I get anywhere near the portal.”

  —

  It took almost an hour to remove all the nails from the headboard they’d used to barricade the tower door. Once it was off, they could see the damage ICK’s army had done. A giant hole had been punched right though the center of the door. India bent down and studied the hole’s ragged edges.

  “We think that was the Cyclops,” Jack explained.

  “I still can’t believe Izzie has a monster like that in her army,” India marveled. “I suppose things really have changed. Those kinds of Nightmares would never give her the time of day while I was still living in the lighthouse. They used to call us stinky.”

  “Yeah, we got that too,” Charlie told her.

  They stood back and watched while Charlotte removed the locks that were still left on the door. Then Charlie retrieved ICK’s gargoyle from Jack’s room, and he and India climbed the stairs. The tower room at the top was empty. The boards Charlie and Charlotte had carefully nailed to one of the windows had been ripped off and thrown onto the lawn. And the desk that had once stood in the center of the room had been reduced to a pile of kindling. Some of the pieces were no bigger than toothpicks. Charlotte was going to be heartbroken when she saw what they’d done to her grandmother’s desk.

  The portal opened as Charlie approached, revealing the cavern beneath the old Laird family house. Somehow ICK had made it past Medusa’s guards and back inside. India unlatched the door of the birdcage and set the gargoyle free. It took off at once, scraping against the walls a few times before it was able to fly straight.

  A few minutes later, ICK appeared, making her way toward the portal. She was still angry, that much was clear. Her teeth were clenched, and her rosebud lips were scowling. Charlie stepped to the side so the sisters could speak.

  “How delightful to see you, India. I’m so pleased that you finally made it into the tower. But why on earth did you have to bring him?” ICK sneered.

  “Charlie and his family removed the barricades from the tower door,” India told her, “so that I could come see you.”

  ICK’s grin was evil. “They’re terrified of me, aren’t they?” she said.

  “Yes,” India replied honestly. “I am too.”

  “You?” ICK asked, as if it were the most ludicrous thing she’d ever heard. “I’ve known you for almost one hundred years, and you’ve never been scared of anything.”

  “You’re wrong, Izzie,” India told her. “I was always scared, but I put on a brave face for you. I didn’t want you to give up.”

  “Then why did you abandon me?” ICK demanded angrily. “You were all I had. Why did you set fire to the lighthouse and leave me alone?”

  “What should I have done instead? You took my tonic and turned it into something terrible. And you were scheming to let goblins into the Waking World,” India said. “I couldn’t let that happen.”

  “Why not?” ICK asked. “Tell me those people in Orville Falls didn’t deserve it after what they did to us!”

  “They didn’t deserve it,” India said softly.

  “So I’m the bad one, is that right? Is that why I deserve to be left all by myself?” ICK asked. For a moment, her tough exterior cracked just enough to give Charlie a glimpse of the sadness that lay beneath.

  “I was never going to leave you alone,” said India. “I started walking toward Cypress Creek the night the lighthouse burned down. I always planned to find you.”

  “Well, now you have. Pass over to this side and help me lead our army,” ICK ordered.

  “No,” India said. “I’m staying in the Waking World, and I want you here with me. I really think we could be happy in Cypress Creek. I’ve made friends, Izzie. They’ll be your friends too.”

  “No, they won’t!” ICK spat. “They’re using you, India. You’ll see. You’re just bait. As soon as I set foot in the Waking World, they’ll turn against us, and tell lies about us, the way people like them always have.”

  “Does it matter so much if they do? Even if it’s just you and me, we’ll still have each other,” India said. “And if you don’t come now, it could be too late. I’m getting older, Izzie. I’m finally growing up. I can feel it.”

  ICK took a step closer to the portal. Her nose was now inches from her sister’s. She studied India’s face, her eyes passing over every inch of skin. Whatever ICK saw, it horrified her. “It’s true,” she said, her voice cracking. “I see it. We’ll be different soon. We won’t be identical anymore.”

  “It doesn’t have to be that way,” India pleaded with her sister.

  “No,” said ICK. “It doesn’t. I’m going to come get you, whether you like it or not. I’m not what I used to be, Indy. Since you left, I’ve discovered the power of fear. And I’m going to make everyone on that side feel what I’ve felt all these years.”

  “Izzie, no!” INK cried, but her sister was already stomping away.

  India took a step forward, but Charlie reached out and stopped her from going through the portal. “We tried and it didn’t work,” he told her. “If you go back to the Netherworld, you may have to stay. Is that what you really want?”

  “But my sister!” India sobbed. “You don’t understand what she’s been through.”

  “What difference does it make now? You heard what she said,” Charlie told her. “She’s going to spread fear throughout the Waking World. I have to stop her. It’s my job to protect the portal, India. We’ll have to burn the tower down.”

  India’s eyes were wide with fear.

  “Just one night,” she begged. “Please, Charlie, just give me one night to find another solution. Imagine it was your brother. What would you do?”

  Charlie didn’t know if he’d be able to sleep. The tower was still standing, and India Kessog was spending the night on one of the sofas downstairs. But he drifted off only minutes after laying his head on the pillow. And when he opened his eyes, he found himself sitting in a purple room with purple furniture and a purple carpet laid out on the floor. The walls and the furnishings looked newer than he was used to, but he recognized his surroundings right away. He was inside a copy of the purple mansion, and the golden sun streaming through the windows told him he’d been transported to the Dream Realm.

  “Hello, Charlie,” said a man sitting across the room from him. Pale and thin, with sharp cheekbones and a thick head of jet-black hair, the man was instantly familiar.

  Charlie gasped. “I know who you are.”

  “I should hope so,” Silas DeChant replied with a chortle. His voice was deep, and he spoke like a character out of an old movie. “You live in my house and walk by my portrait a dozen times every day. If you didn’t recognize me, I would worry that my mansion was being guarded by a dimwit—or a nincompoop, as you modern children say. Fortunately, that is not the case. Thank you for taking such good care of the portal.”

  “You’re welcome, sir,” said Charlie. “It’s been an honor.”

  “Yes,” said Silas. “And a terrible responsibility—one the inhabitants of this
house should no longer be burdened with. For one hundred and fifty years, the DeChants have acted as guardians of the portal. We knew that the day might come when the only way to protect it would be to destroy it. I’m afraid that day is here.”

  It felt like his words had taken a weight off Charlie’s shoulders. “Wow, I’m really glad you said that,” he told Silas. “I’ve been thinking the very same thing.”

  “Yes, you should destroy the portal. Just as soon as you rescue the human girl who’s trapped on the other side.”

  Charlie groaned miserably. He should have known there would be a catch. “We tried to do it tonight, Mr. DeChant,” he said. “I thought India Kessog might be able to talk her sister into coming to our side, but my plan didn’t work.”

  “Perhaps Isabel’s sister wasn’t the right person to convince her,” Silas said.

  “Then who…,” Charlie started to ask. Then he realized what Silas DeChant was hinting at. “You mean me? Why do you think I’m the one who can convince her?”

  “I don’t know why you’re the one,” Silas said. “I only know that you are.”

  “How?” Charlie demanded.

  “I know because you’re the only one who’s been inside Isabel Kessog’s nightmare. Even her twin sister hasn’t seen it. But you have, haven’t you, Charlie?”

  “Yes, but her dream’s completely crazy!” Charlie almost shouted. “It’s all about these big smelly sheep in the most disgusting field on earth. It’s freezing and stormy, and some invisible person in the distance is humming a lullaby.”

  Silas seemed to consider what Charlie had told him. “I’ll admit it’s unusual, but nightmares often don’t make sense,” he said. “That doesn’t mean you can’t understand them. And if anyone is able to understand Isabel Kessog’s nightmares, it’s you. Let me ask you a question—how did you feel while you were inside her worst dream?”

  Charlie thought a moment. Cold. Bitterly cold and miserable. But there was more to it than that. He’d felt alone in ICK’s nightmare—like the world had turned against him. And he’d felt angry, as if the rage and frustration that were building inside him were the only things keeping him from freezing to death.

  Silas was right; Charlie knew just how the girl felt. He’d experienced the same feelings long before he’d ever met Isabel Kessog and her sister. After his mother had died, Charlie had suffered from bad dreams too. In his nightmares, he was trapped in a cage at the top of a witch’s belfry. While he’d swung there, he’d felt alone and abandoned—like the world would be better off without him.

  A chill ran down Charlie’s spine when he remembered the part of his dreams that had scared him far more than the witch or her cage. In his nightmares, there had been something lurking far below the witch’s tower—something that was searching the forest for him….

  Suddenly Charlie had the clue he needed. He knew ICK’s worst fear had nothing to do with sheep or lullabies. Her worst fear was coming face to face with the woman who hummed.

  “I think I’ve figured out what frightens Isabel Kessog the most,” Charlie told Silas. “It’s—”

  Silas held up a hand to stop him. “It’s not for me to know,” he said. “You and the girl share something powerful. If you’ve found it, Charlie, you may be able to save her.”

  “Charlie! Wake up!” Jack was shaking him.

  Charlie opened his eyes. It was still dark outside his bedroom window. “Is it morning already? What time is it?” he grumbled.

  “Just after midnight,” Jack said. “You’ve got to wake up! We need to get to the tower.”

  Charlie sat up in the bed, his heart pounding fast. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “Tonight I was supposed to be having a nightmare about the Red Skull,” Jack said, talking a mile a minute. “I fell asleep as usual, but Jed never showed up. I was getting really bored, so I went out to find him.”

  “Wait—who’s Jed?” Charlie asked.

  “My favorite Nightmare!” Jack said. “He plays all of Captain America’s enemies in my bad dreams. Tonight he was supposed to be the Red Skull.”

  “I should have known,” Charlie muttered. Only Jack would go out looking for his own Nightmare. “Did you find him?”

  “Yeah,” said Jack. “Jed was with most of the other Nightmares, in the middle of town. Charlie, ICK is taking over the Netherworld! She’s captured President Medusa and Dabney and she’s holding them hostage. I’m pretty sure she’ll be coming to the Waking World soon. The Nightmares are saying that the prophecy has begun.”

  Charlie was suddenly completely awake. He slid off the side of his bed and grabbed a sweater from his bureau. His dream about Silas DeChant couldn’t have come at a better time. If the prophecy had begun, then it was time for Charlie Laird to play his part.

  —

  Less than twelve hours had passed since Charlie’s last trip through the portal. The barricades on the tower door had been removed then—and Charlotte hadn’t seen the point in replacing them. They all knew that the next time a Cyclops wanted to get through, a few nails and some wood weren’t going to stop it. So Charlie and Jack had no boards to remove or chains to unlock. They simply climbed the stairs to the tower room and stood in front of the portal. Then Jack did the honors and opened it. Beyond the doorway, they saw a massive crowd gathered around the Netherworld courthouse. A group of fierce-looking Nightmares stood atop the courthouse stairs, guarding the doors. Charlie recognized the Cyclops that had tried to break down the tower door. There were also several werewolves, a giant gorilla, and a family of yeti.

  As they watched, a sluglike creature scaled the steps to confront the rebels. The Cyclops picked him up and hurled him past the crowd of Nightmares. The slug hit the ground and splattered a bunch of dreamers who were nervously watching the scene.

  “Look! Over there!” Jack cried. He was pointing to another group of humans standing at the edge of the crowd. It was Paige, Alfie, Ollie, and Rocco, all of them in their pajamas.

  Charlie and Jack hurried over to their friends, and Paige greeted Charlie with a frightened hug.

  “Did you guys just get here?” Rocco asked. “Things are about to get ugly. You were right about ICK, Charlie. She’s really bad news.”

  “I know. But you were right about India,” Charlie said. “She’s innocent. And I’m sorry I got so angry at you and Alfie and Jack for figuring it out before I did.”

  “Apology accepted,” Alfie said. “You’ve always had a terrible temper. We like you anyway.”

  “I have a bad temper?” asked Charlie. He’d always thought of himself as rather laid-back.

  “Are you kidding?” Jack asked.

  “Don’t worry—your good qualities outweigh the bad,” Paige added, threading her arm through his.

  “True,” Alfie agreed. “And right now we’ve got bigger problems than Charlie Laird’s hot head. We were all dreaming when our Nightmares left us to go fight ICK’s army. None of them ever came back.”

  “Wait a second!” cried Ollie. “There’s my Nightmare. He’s right at the front of the crowd. Dingleberry! Hey, Dingleberry!”

  A small brown monkey with a white face was hopping across the heads and shoulders of larger creatures, screeching angrily at the rebel Nightmares on the courthouse steps.

  “Yeah, but where are the others?” Rocco asked. “We have no idea where they went. I hope they’re okay.”

  “I’m sure they’re fine,” Charlie consoled him. “Remember, Nightmares don’t die.”

  “No, but I bet ICK can think of something much worse than death,” Paige said.

  “Maybe she’s making them eat the nuggets from our school cafeteria,” said Ollie, but Charlie didn’t laugh. He’d just watched Dingleberry the monkey climb to the top of an ogre’s head. The monkey appeared to have a large brown ball in his hand, and he was preparing to throw it.

  “What’s he doing?” Charlie asked.

  “Uh-oh,” said Ollie.

  Dingleberry hurled the ball at the Cyclops
guarding the courthouse doors, and it exploded as it hit the monster’s one-eyed face.

  “Was that what I think it was?” Alfie asked.

  “I don’t really have any way of knowing what you think it was,” said Ollie. “But I can tell you—that was poo.”

  The Cyclops issued a deafening roar and charged into the crowd after the little monkey. But the Nightmares who’d gathered at the courthouse weren’t going to let him take one of their own. Soon a brawl had broken out among the creatures of the Netherworld. Vampires latched on to the necks of yeti. Ogres did their best to stomp spiders. Pterodactyls dropped guano bombs on skeletons wearing pirate suits. Two different versions of Godzilla nearly crushed Alfie as they wrestled each other to the ground. Charlie and his friends were quickly backing away from the battle when three words brought the madness to a sudden halt.

  “STOP THIS INSTANT!”

  The Netherworld monsters lowered their fists, retracted their claws, dropped their battle-axes—and immediately turned their attention to the stage. The voice was so clear and so powerful that they didn’t appear to have any choice but to obey.

  Then a small creature appeared on the courthouse steps. Dressed like the little toy soldier that Ms. Abbot had discovered in her garden shed, its face was hidden by a terrifying gas mask that made it resemble an alien insect. When the creature pulled off the mask to address the crowd, the face underneath belonged to Isabel Kessog.

  “I wonder if she got that from Medusa’s costume collection,” Jack whispered to his brother. “It’s a good one.”

  “Yeah,” Charlie said. “Where was that when I needed a disguise? It’s a million times better than a yurei costume.”

  “What’s a yurei?” Jack asked.

  “Never mind,” Charlie told him.

  “A yurei is a girl ghost from Japan,” Alfie replied.

  Jack snickered. “Charlie had to dress like a girl ghost?”

  “He looked gorgeous,” Alfie whispered.