Troy flashed him a sheepish grin. “Yeah. I’ve got a night off from ‘healthy, well-rounded meal’ duty.”
“Sounds good to me. I’m grabbing a beer. You?”
“Obviously. If pizza’s in play, beer is kind of a foregone conclusion.”
“True.”
Gavin took the tops off the two cold beers and handed one of the frosty brews to Troy. “Deck?”
“Let’s do it.”
The two men settled into their seats and stared out at the view silently for a few moments, taking intermittent swigs from the amber bottles they each held. Just as Gavin was beginning to think that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all, Troy said, “So, what happened?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you came in looking like you’d seen a ghost or something. You look like crap. So, I’m assuming something happened. I’m asking what it was.”
“I saw a ghost,” Gavin deadpanned.
“Smartass.”
“You’re right. It wasn’t a ghost. But if I tell you, I’d have to kill you. And as annoying as you can be sometimes, I’m not quite there yet.”
The silence between them resumed, and Gavin was relieved. Finally, though, Troy shook his head, his exasperation clear. “So, you won’t talk about why you’re back. You won’t talk about why you’re staying. Even though it’s obvious that something happened today that left you shaken, you won’t talk about that, either.”
Gavin let the silence stretch again, then said, “Good summary.”
Troy’s voice was gruff when he replied, “Well, I hope to God there’s someone you can talk to. Because if your brother’s not even close enough to know what’s going on with you, I don’t know who the hell might be.”
There was no way for Troy to have known that the comment was a pointed arrow, hitting a bulls-eye straight into his heart. But it was.
Genevieve should’ve been that close to him. She was that person that Troy was referring to, without even knowing it. She was the one he wanted to talk things out with, confide in, as foreign as both of those concepts felt to him.
But, the truth was, he was the holdout in the situation. She wanted him to talk, he remained buttoned up. Just like Troy wanted him to talk, and he kept everything inside.
Gavin thought he might sense a pattern emerging.
That wasn’t something he wanted to think about at the moment, though.
Actually, he thought, you could end that sentence right after the word “about” and it would still be true.
He knew that if it were just him and Troy sitting on the back deck all night, there’d be no way of escaping the conversation, though. When Troy got a hold of something he didn’t want to let it go, he was like a dog with a bone. He would gnaw at it and gnaw at it until there was nothing left.
The only way to keep himself from being that bone, Gavin figured, was to change the dynamic a little bit. Give himself a buffer.
Turning to Troy and speaking casually, as if the idea had just occurred to him for no particular reason, he said, “Hey, why don’t we call Donovan? Make it a brothers’ night.”
Chapter 14
Genevieve
Gen walked through the doors of Everything Ella, her best friend’s shop on Main Street. It was aptly named – Ella was an artist and tended to create whatever her muse led her to work on at any given time. So, you couldn’t really say it was a clothes store, or a home goods store, or a souvenir shop, or any of those things. Rather, it was all of those things. It was Ella’s soul in art form, put on display on the shop shelves, and Gen always felt at home when she walked in.
“Yes, I’ll do it. You talked me into it.”
Ella’s voice snapped Gen back to the present. “What?”
“Yes, I’ll get a vendor booth at the picnic. That’s what you came here to ask, right? I figured you’re going to start doing the rounds of local businesses soon.”
“Oh, yes. Right. Of course I am! And why not start with my best friend. The easiest ‘yes’ in town.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna revisit that nickname before it becomes permanent.”
Gen laughed. Coming here had been the right thing to do. “Fair enough.”
Genevieve crossed the shop to sit on the stool Ella kept next to the counter, mainly for Gen’s use. Ella’s head snapped up when she got a closer look at Genevieve, and the longer she looked at Gen’s face, her eyes darkened and narrowed.
“All right,” she said, anger simmering under her voice, “What did he do to you?”
Warmth spread through Gen’s heart at the fierce mama bear energy in Ella’s voice. “Nothing. He didn’t do anything. Don’t worry about it, Ell.”
Of course, that wasn’t strictly true. Gavin had done something – he’d been a real ass, in fact. But she couldn’t explain the situation to Ella without revealing that Gavin had some sort of medical condition, and that just seemed over the line. That information was simply not hers to share.
Ella’s face scrunched further. It was clear to Gen that Ella wasn’t buying what she was selling, not for one stinking minute. Still, she figured the best course of action was just to wait her out, sitting on the stool with an innocent look on her face, until Ella had no choice but to let it go. After all, what was she going to do? Waterboard her?
Finally, Ella gave a resigned sigh and nodded. “Fine. I’ll choose to believe you. Or rather, I’ll choose to move on and not press the issue.”
“I’m good either way.” A stab of pain dug into Gen’s chest as she recognized the words, an exact echo of what she’d said to Gavin in their little bout of is-that-a-phone-in-your-pocket banter, not even two hours before.
God, what if she lost him? Not just to a “breakup” (if what they were even rose to the level of warranting the term), but really and truly lost him? Would every day of her life become nothing but a string of stabbing pains as small events reminded her of Gavin in one way or another – a long road of grief stretching out ahead of her, crushing, with no end in sight?
Wow, girl, you really know how to focus on the bright side!
She had a sudden understanding of how different she was from the girl that usually inhabited her body. That girl shrugged things off. That girl believed that things would work out fine in the end, no matter what happened in between, because…well, didn’t they always? That girl took insults with a grain of salt and compliments straight to heart.
That girl, in short, was a hell of a lot more fun to be around than the girl currently taking up space inside her head, and she intended to get her “normal self” back in place ASAP.
“Hey,” she said, forcing sudden brightness into her tone, “What do you think about calling up Abby and having a girls’ night at my place tonight?”
“Sure, that sounds like fun. Let me call Donovan and see what’s going on with him. Hey! Stop rolling your eyes. I’m not, like, asking him for permission. It’s just a courtesy.”
Gen held her hands up in front of her. “Hey, I didn’t say anything!”
Ella rolled her eyes right back. “Your face said it all.”
As Ella pulled out her phone and swiped Donovan’s contact info, Gen reflected that Ella was getting much quicker with the snappy comebacks and sassy eyerolls than she used to be and couldn’t help but press her hand to her heart and smile a little. That was Donovan’s influence, making Ella more confident, lighthearted and all-around happy. It wasn’t like she was a whole new person, but rather an enhanced version of her true self, one where all of her good points were magnified and pulled to the forefront.
Hmmmm…I wonder what qualities Gavin might bring out in me, given the chance? I wonder what he might’ve already brought out that I haven’t seen because I’m too close to the situation.
She closed her eyes tight against the thought. It didn’t pay to wallow in those kinds of thoughts. Better to think about the girls’ night they were about to enjoy, and how much fun that was going to be. She needed some estrogen in her life
right about then, not to mention laughter, and both of those things were pretty much a guarantee with Ella and Abby involved.
Ella pressed her thumb against the screen to disconnect the call and turned around to face Gen, giving her a thumbs up gesture. “Okay. All clear on the home front. Now we just need to see if Abby’s free.”
“Sounds good. I’ll text her.”
“Hey, want to hear something weird, though?”
“Always.”
“Donovan said that it worked out just as well that I wanted to hang with the girls tonight, because Troy and Gavin had just called to see if he was free to have a brothers’ night.”
“Troy and Gavin actually used the phrase ‘brothers’ night’ to describe it to you on the phone? That is weird.”
“I believe the actual term used was ‘bro hang.’”
“That tracks.”
“But, here’s what I think is weird: the night that you and I call our friend to have a girls’ night just happens to be the same night that the Valentine brothers decide to get together? Coincidence?”
“I think the phrase ‘just happens to be’ puts it squarely in that realm, by definition.”
“I was being sarcastic with that phrasing.”
“Oh, is that what that was? Damn. Maybe you need more practice.”
“Anyway, it’s…hmmm. It’s almost like something happened today. Something that both you and Gavin need your peeps around you to try to work through.”
“Okay, first things first. Never say peeps. And second, you’re reaching.”
Ella shrugged. “Fine. I said I wasn’t going to push and I won’t.”
“Excellent.”
“I’ll just say this one thing—”
“Of course you will.”
“—I can’t promise that the ‘no pushing’ thing will extend beyond tonight.”
Gen laughed. “Well, then let’s call Abby and get this party started. I’ve only been granted a limited reprieve and I want to make the most of it.”
Chapter 15
“I’m grabbing another beer. You guys want one?”
Gavin and Donovan both gave their brother quick nods and Troy headed into the kitchen through the back deck slider.
Donovan turned to Gavin. “So, why am I here?”
“In an existential sense?”
“No, shithead. Why this whole brothers’ night thing? And you might want to start talking before Troy comes back if you don’t want both of us ganging up on you.”
Gavin considered how much to tell his brother. He decided on a carefully edited version of the truth. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do with my life now.”
“And? Any conclusions?”
“None.”
“Maybe if you talked to us about why you need to find a new path – like, what happened to the old one – it would be clearer.”
Donovan’s smirk served to lessen the tension in Gavin’s neck, at least a little. His brother was giving him a hard time. That was a time-honored tradition between brothers, and the Valentines were no exception.
Gavin could handle that. What he couldn’t handle was Donovan pushing him to get real. He wasn’t ready to share his diagnosis yet. Or his relationship, if he could even call it that.
Of course, if push came to shove, he’d just clam up, or even stand up and walk away. That was his usual MO. But he wasn’t in the mood to have beef with Troy or Donovan. Not when he’d already treated Genevieve like crap today. His “treating loved ones like shit” quotient was just about filled.
“Life is long and paths are many.”
“Oh, great. From fighter pilot to Zen Buddhist monk. It’s quite a transformation.”
Gavin allowed himself a smartass grin and took a swig of his beer. “Both things can exist at once. Yin and yang.”
Donovan groaned. “And it only gets worse!”
Troy stepped through the slider and handed out the beers. “What only gets worse?”
Donovan gestured to Gavin with his bottle. “His jokes.”
Troy dropped back into his chair. “Oh, yeah. I could’ve told you that.”
The brothers sipped their beers and stared out at the moonlight glimmering on the constantly shifting surface of the ocean. This was the kind of family time Gavin could get behind – all the warmth and comfort of being together, none of the pressure of conversation.
But…would it really be so bad if I told them what was going on? What’s the worst that could happen?
Fear shot through him at the thought. Being vulnerable? Admitting weakness? Making a revelation that would result in ten thousand follow-up questions. Fuck, no.
Troy set his beer on the arm of his chair and clasped his hands together. Gavin braced himself. This was Troy in full-fledged “big brother” mode, and there wasn’t a whole lot you could do to stop him when he got going.
“You know, it’s not as if Donovan and I have nothing to offer on the topic of starting your life over from scratch.”
“True,” Donovan chimed in. “Last year, when my security clearance was in jeopardy and I was looking down the barrel of everything in my life changing, it was scary as shit. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do.”
“Thanks for the pep talk,” Gavin deadpanned. “You’ve been very inspiring. I can’t wait for your Ted Talk.”
“See?” Troy countered. “That just goes to show that you’re feeling threatened. You always go on the offensive when you think there’s going to be a fight.”
“Well, isn’t there?”
“No. We’re not trying to force you to talk about something you’re not ready to.”
“Shit. I wonder what it’s like when you are trying to force me talk about something I’m not ready to.”
“We’re just worried as hell about you, man.”
“No need.”
“Yeah,” Donovan chimed in, “I don’t know how much experience you have with protecting people who are in danger, but that used to be pretty much my whole gig. And, let me tell you – they’re not the best judge of how much trouble they’re in. Pretty much everyone I ever protected was convinced that the danger was all in someone else’s head.”
Gavin smirked. “Even the president?”
Donovan returned the smirk. “I said almost.”
Troy pushed on. Gavin had known he would, he wasn’t easily sidetracked.
“And think about my situation when Mom and Dad died. I gave up everything – my home, my career…my life, essentially – to come back home and raise Mila. I went from ‘big city bachelor baseball player’ to what amounted to ‘small-town single dad’ in one weekend.”
“That sounds like a speech you’ve been rehearsing in your head for quite a while.”
Shit. That was way too harsh.
“I’m not trying to be an asshole, Gav,” Troy said, and even though his voice was even, there was definitely hurt underneath.
Gavin sighed. “I know. Apparently I can be one without even trying. Sorry. That was below the belt.”
Troy acknowledged this with a small nod. He continued, “My only point by bringing that up is that it wasn’t easy. I wasn’t prepared. And I love Mila so much. I was determined to do right by her, but I had no experience. I didn’t even know what that looked like. I was fucking terrified, every single day.”
This was a surprise. Troy always seemed like he had it all together, he always had. “How long until that went away?”
Troy laughed, a short and brittle explosion from his throat. “I’ll let you know when it does. But you know what got me through it? What still gets me through it?”
“The knowledge of how you’re clearly the best Valentine brother and you can lord it over us at every opportunity.”
“Obviously. That’s a given. But what I was going to say was: the support of the people that love me, and love Mila. Family. Friends. It’s more important than you realize.”
Gavin sighed. He wasn’t one to admit defeat, but it was clear his brothers
were not planning to let this go until he at least pretended that they’d gotten through to him.
“Fine. I give up, I’m listening. What’s your point?”
“Just this – if you need somebody to talk to, we’re not bad choices. In fact, we’re probably pretty damn good ones.”
“Noted.”
“But, even more important – if you’re not talking to us, you need to be talking to somebody. Because you’re not in a good place, buddy. That’s the only reason I’m on your ass so much. You keep saying you’re fine. But you’re clearly not.”
Gavin didn’t respond. There was no use in arguing with his brothers about it. They’d shown time and time again that they were stubborn and, especially on this point, they weren’t going to back off.
Besides, Gavin admitted to himself reluctantly, they’re not exactly wrong.
Chapter 16
“I have to wonder if you ladies invited me to this impromptu gathering more for my sparkling personality, or my sparkling wine.”
Abby delivered the line as she walked through Genevieve’s door, holding a bottle by the neck in each hand.
“About evenly split. But if I’d known you were going to arrive double fisting the stuff, it would’ve been the wine. No question.”
Abby laughed, setting the treasures down on Gen’s entry table. “I don’t blame you. Where’s Ella?”
“In here!” Ella called from the kitchen. “I’m making popcorn.”
“Oooo,” Abby said, rubbing her hands together in front of her. “Are we watching a movie? Maybe something really cheesy from the 80s or 90s?”
“Nah. Or, I guess we could. But that’s not why she’s making popcorn. She just likes it.”
“I’m not ashamed. It’s nutritious and delicious,” Ella chimed in, still in the kitchen.
“It’s neither,” Gen called back, “but that’s fine.”
“Oh, God. I’m so glad you two called. I didn’t even realize how much I needed a night of laughter and fun.”
Rescuing His Heart Page 6