A Heart Reborn

by BK Harrell

  “Your turn.” Sarah watched intently as Coop panned down his nearly naked body showing her the tight black boxer briefs he was wearing and sporting a nice tent right in the middle. “Sorry I can’t be there to help you take care of that impressive tent.”

  “Don’t worry. You will be when I close my eyes.”

  Sarah blushed at the thought of Coop stroking himself off to thoughts of her. Who was she kidding. As soon as she hung up, her fingers would work to relieve her desires, while thinking of him over her, under her, and in her any other way. “Good night, Coop. Sleep tight.”

  “You too, sweet Sarah. Talk to you tomorrow.”

  Sarah hung up feeling light hearted and frustrated at the same time. As she lay there in bed thinking of Coop, she allowed her fingers to slide into her shorts and glide over the smooth skin until she reached her pulsing nub. Sarah ran her fingers through her wetness and stroked herself to the most amazing solo orgasm she had ever had. Maybe they could try this together on Skype while he was gone. While her orgasm was good, she definitely preferred it to be a team sport as opposed to a solo act. After her release, Sarah’s eyes drifted closed thinking of the man she loved two thousand miles away.

  ***

  The next week seemed to pass in a blur. Work, baseball practice, and two games ate up all her time. Sarah ended up losing sleep talking to Coop each night, but it was well worth it. The only time they didn’t get to talk was when she was on call and had another night from hell. Sarah and her team never seemed to get a minute for themselves, but Coop as sweet as he is, remembered she was on call and had dinner catered in from Joey D’s Oakroom. The staff was very happy when she worked, especially if they were getting free food.

  Sarah walked out of the hospital the next morning thanking her lucky stars that she was on vacation for the next week. She was looking forward to spending time with Harry. Even in her seemingly perpetually good mood she couldn’t help but wonder if this would be the last time they had Thanksgiving before he would have to start alternating holidays. That thought made her a slightly melancholy. Sarah tried to shake off the thoughts, but they stuck with her until she got home and saw the smiling face of Harry waiting to greet her. She accepted his hug and kissed him on the head before going to bed. She contemplated calling Coop but she didn’t want to wake him up since it was still six o’clock out there.

  Sarah made her way upstairs, collapsing in the bed, falling fast asleep. Sarah was awoken by a knock on her door. She sat up wiping the sleep away from her eyes to see her mom standing there holding a big edible arrangement in her hand and a venti caramel latte from Starbucks.

  “I don’t know how he managed the latte, but the arrangement looks delicious. I figured I’d bring you the card and show you the arrangement, before Harry got back. Also, figured you would want to drink your latte before it got cold. I take it things are going well.”

  “So well, which scares the living daylight out of me. I just don’t know how he’s going to react when he finds out about Harry. I feel like I’m being extremely selfish right now, but I need this time to re-connect with him. Try to show him that I still love him, and hope that he still loves me.”

  “I think you’re off to a good start. I don’t think he’d go to this much trouble if he didn’t care for you.”

  “I know, mom, but things haven’t exactly been easy for us. Remember me, the insecure one who ran away at the slightest bit of trouble that most likely wasn’t even there. I just didn’t believe in us enough, but I believe in us now.”

  “What’s changed?”

  “I just don’t believe that he would be the type to cheat. In all our conversations, he’s never mentioned any children, but then again, I haven’t either. I’m beginning to think that I did make the most horrific mistake of my life when I walked away from him. Well, time will tell and he’ll be gone for about three weeks anyway. We’ll see how things are in three weeks, but we’re talking and skyping every day before bed.”

  Her mother raised her eyebrow and said, “I bet talking isn’t all you’re doing at night.”

  “Whatever, mom. I need to get up and get dressed. We need to get ready to go to practice. I’ll be so glad when fall ball ends. This never-ending cycle of practice and games with work is tiring. I’ll be glad when Harry is doing baseball clinics. The three-month break will be nice.”

  “You better enjoy this time while it lasts, because before you know it, he’ll be grown up and out of the house.”

  “I know, mom. So, on a different subject, what do you want to do for Thanksgiving? I had an idea, but I’m not sure if you want to go along or not. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble convincing Harry. I thought that we’d go to Disney World for Thanksgiving. We could leave Monday morning, since I am off all week, and will need Sunday to recover, but I thought it would be a fun trip for us together.”

  “I think I’d like that. We haven’t been back since Harry is big enough to ride all the rides. I was able to get us rooms at the All-Star Sports Resort so Harry could see the Braves spring training complex. We could easily afford to stay in the villas in a higher end portion of the park, but this trip is going to be about him.”

  “I’d definitely like to go with you two. I think it’ll be a lot of fun. Let’s go pick up Harry and tell him the good news.”

  Sarah and her mom picked up Harry and took him to dinner. Thankfully, he was in the mood for something simple so they went to Applebee’s for dinner. As they sat there eating ice cream sundaes for dessert, Sarah looked over at Harry and decided now was the time for his surprise.

  “Harry, what do you want to do for Thanksgiving break?”

  “I don’t know, mom. I just figured we would hang around here and do some of the fun things around town. I understand if you have to work some, but I was just looking forward to spending time with you.”

  “Well, I have a better idea. That is if you want to. I thought we’d go to Disney World for Thanksgiving.”

  Harry screamed a yes and started bouncing uncontrollably in his seat.

  “Well, I guess we’ll just stay here then since you don’t really want to go.”

  “Mom, please I really, really want to go.”

  “I know, buddy. I got us rooms at the All-Star Sports Resort near the Braves spring training complex. We are going to leave on Monday and come back Saturday. We’ll have an entire week with no work, no school, and no stress. Just the three of us riding roller coasters and stuffing our faces.”

  “I can’t wait to go. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the best mom ever.”

  Sarah thought that was quite a change from not wanting to speak to her the other week. No matter, she was just as excited about the trip as Harry was. She just hoped that Harry could make it through the week at school and her through the week at work.

  Sunday came too quickly for Sarah. She was hoping for a busy night to keep her mind off Coop. Even though they had talked every night and finally explored the concept of naked Skype sex she still missed him like crazy. She still didn’t know how she was going to explain going to Disney World for Thanksgiving, but if push came to shove she’d just continue to fib as needed. Even though it made her nauseous to keep up the lie, she just needed this time with Harry. Plus, when they got back the wedding activities would start soon and she’d be busy with that and not have enough time to spend with Harry.

  The day did indeed speed by with multiple deliveries and admissions, and true to form, Coop had dinner delivered from Ted’s Montana Grill. They brought a burger bar for everyone to enjoy. Sarah was enjoying her buffalo burger when Coop called her to chat before their evening game.

  “Hey, baby. I hope that tonight’s dinner selection meets with your approval. I know how much you enjoy a good buffalo burger. Did they get everything to your approval?”

  “Yes, and thank you. Do you think I don’t eat well enough?”

  “Baby, I think you eat plenty. I know that the hospital food isn’t very good even though you get
to eat in that fancy doctor’s dining room.”

  “Well, thank you again. The nurses love you by the way.”

  “How about you, do you love me too?”

  Sarah nearly choked on her burger. “Pardon me?”

  “Do you love me as much as the nurses do?” She could see Coop trying to surpass a smile.

  “What the hell, Coop. I hope you know that I care for you. I mean, I think I’ve shown you how much I care. I certainly care about you in a different manner than the nursing staff.”

  “Sarah, I’m just fucking with you. I know you care about me.”

  “Even if I wanted to say those three words, we both know we still have a lot to talk about before we get there.”

  “I know baby. I promise not to make you choke on anymore food. I wish I could have seen how your eyes bugged out when I asked you that though. It would’ve been a sight to see. You’d have thought I said let’s get pregnant and have a baby.”

  Sarah’s face paled at his words. If he only knew, then it wouldn’t be so funny to him. Needing to end the conversation before it got out of hand, Sarah faked a page and said her goodbyes before hanging up. Sarah tried to finish eating her burger, but suddenly it had no taste and was sitting like a rock in her stomach. She wanted to say I love you. She longed to say I love you, but to ultimately have it thrown back in her face because of her betrayal was more than she thought she could handle. Sarah set her plate down and wiped away the tears that had started to fall. Just as she was getting herself under control, the door opened and Elisha walked in to find her.

  “Oh, Chica. What’s wrong??

  Sarah lost it at that point and started trying to speak and cry at the same time. “I…I love him so much, but I ca…can’t tell him until he knows the truth. I couldn’t take it if he threw it back in my face after he finds out about my betrayal.”

  Elisha sat down beside her and wrapped her arms around Sarah. “Just let it all out. You’ve been through the ringer. I can’t imagine what you have gone through these last ten years, and now you find each other and you have to deceive him until you find out the answers you are looking for. I don’t think that he’d throw it back in your face, but he’ll be angry. That’s for sure.”

  Sarah couldn’t answer right away because of the snot running down her nose. She was thankful that Elisha had walked in since she knew the story. She looked at Elisha’s scrub top and saw all the tears and snot. “I’m so sorry about your top, but thank you for being here for me.”

  “You’re welcome, Sarah. It’s good to have a friend around when you need one. I feel that we have become good friends, and don’t worry about the top. It belongs to the hospital anyway.” Elisha said as she walked across the room and snagged another scrub top. Stripping the top off she noticed Sarah’s eyes widen. Sorry, hazards of stripping. You don’t think about someone else being in the room.”

  Sarah swallowed hard looking at the ample cleavage Elisha had on display. Sarah thought they were honestly some of the nicest breasts she had ever seen. Trying to lighten the mood, Sarah said, “Not that I bat for that team, but boy if I did…”

  “Well, I don’t either, but you’re not too bad yourself. Yes, they’re real.”

  Sarah blushed because somehow Elisha had read her mind. “Well, they’re very nice. The best thing I got out of pregnancy was that my B-cup turned into a C.”

  “Sometimes I think they are too big, and then I worry what’ll happen to them if I’m ever lucky enough to get pregnant. They may fall to my knees.”

  Sarah laughed at Elisha’s statement. Not a problem that she would ever have. Fortunately, her pager picked that time to go off, as well as Elisha’s, which meant they were going to be doing a C-section in the near future.

  Sara walked to the nurse’s station to find Dr. Jones going over the patient notes. He filled her in on the patient, and she knew that they were doing a semi-elective C-section. The patient was considering a vaginal delivery, but her history dictated a repeat C-section. Unfortunately for the patient, she went into labor before her scheduled C-section on Thursday.

  Prepped and draped, Sarah assisted Dr. Jones as he needed to complete another left-handed C-section for his board competencies. Everything went smoothly, and they delivered a healthy baby boy ten pounds eleven ounces and twenty-two inches long. Mom and dad were happy, but especially mom since she didn’t have to push that large baby through her vagina. After closing the patient and sending her to post-op, Sarah took a walk to the nursery to look at the babies. While most of them stayed in the rooms with the mothers, they came here for short periods of time to allow mom to rest. As she stood there admiring all the newborns, she couldn’t help but think what it would be like to have another baby. One where Coop was there beside her as the baby took its first breath and cried. Would he cry with joy? She thought that he would. He was so much more than the stoic baseball player everyone else saw. Maybe a little girl this time that would have him wrapped around her little finger from the time she was born.

  Shaking her head to clear the thoughts and focus on work, Sarah slowly walked away. After February, she just didn’t know if there would even be a place for her in his life other than the drop-off and pickups for Harry. This thought brought a profound sense of loss to her heart. Sarah knew that the only chance her heart would allow her to get married was to Coop. She just couldn’t picture spending her life with anyone else, and she didn’t want anyone else raising Harry.

  Not wanting to waste any more time and knowing that Coop wouldn’t get the message until later, she pulled out her phone and sent him a quick text.

  S: You know that I love you. I just can’t allow myself to be in love with you yet.

  Satisfied with her text she put her phone away and headed back to work hoping for anything to happen that would take her mind off Coop.

  Coop sat in the dugout as the last out was recorded thinking about what a crappy game he had just watched. He was disappointed in the play from these supposed top prospects who, in his opinion, were four or more years away from making it to the major leagues. More than that he was miserable without Sarah, and he had pondered his jackass statement to her earlier throughout the entire game. Yeah, he would be lucky if she even spoke to him tomorrow. So, when he got back to his locker and found a text message from her he was shocked, but not as shocked as what he saw when he read the message.

  I love you, but I can’t allow myself to be in love with you yet. What the hell did that even mean? As he thought about her text, it finally hit him when he thought back to her earlier statement about history and needing to sort it out after the new year. Had she shown him in ways that she hadn’t verbalized that she loved him? Certainly. Every time they made love he could see it in her eyes and feel it in the connection between them, but if he really thought about it, he knew they needed to hash out the past before they could ever have a hope of the future. He just couldn’t understand why she wanted to wait so long to talk about it. Hell, he would jump on a plane tonight just to talk to her about it, but she had a plan. As his mother, would say, God has a plan, and he just needed to be patient.

  H: I know you do, and I respect your reasoning behind not want to allow yourself to be in love with me yet. But sweet Sarah just remember one thing, you are mine forever.

  Sarah had just laid down to try and take a short nap when her phone dinged a new message. As she read it, she felt the warmth of Coop’s love pool in her heart and make her panties damp with need. She was happy that he didn’t try to fight her, but would she still be his after the truth came out. Sarah laid there thinking about Coop and drifted off to sleep.

  The sound of her alarm woke Sarah up the next morning. She was shocked that she had gotten five hours of sleep without being paged for a delivery. Sarah wiped the sleep from her eyes and made herself presentable for rounds. She walked to the doctor’s lounge and grabbed some coffee and was surprised to see her team looking well rested and ready to go. She surmised that they deserved an easy night aft
er the last few nights. Sarah wanted to get rounds done and leave the hospital for her vacation. Rounds went smoothly and before she knew it all the cases had been turned over and the three discharges completed. Her last day for a week was finally over, and with any luck they could leave early.

  Chapter Eight

  Sarah walked out of the hospital into the cool morning air admiring the bright yellow sun and feeling freer than she had in a while. Sarah was excited that they would be leaving for Disney World tomorrow, but she still hadn’t figured out how to tell Coop that she was going out of town. She figured that worse-case scenario, she would tell him they were going to visit family in Orlando. She’d be able to sneak away at night and talk to him.

  Arriving at home, she was surprised to see Harry up and packing his suitcase. Sarah shook her head, if only it was this easy when he needed to get ready for school. She walked in and kissed him on the head. “Good morning, Harry. Did you sleep well last night?”

  “Yep, mom. Just getting ready to go. You’re home early and you look like you got some sleep last night.”

  “I actually got to sleep for five hours and we had so few discharges that we were done very quickly. Have you seen Nana this morning?”

  “She was in the laundry room when I finished eating breakfast.”

  “Thanks, Harry. Make sure you pack everything you need. I’ll come help you check in a little while.”

  Sarah went downstairs to find her mom folding laundry. “Morning, mom. How much do you have left to pack?”

  “I’ll be done getting everything ready to pack in a few minutes, but what’s the rush. We aren’t leaving until tomorrow.”

  “Well, I got a lot of sleep last night and I thought if we were ready, then we could leave today. I doubt it would be a problem to call and add another night. I just need to pack and help Harry make sure he has everything. Then we can get a snack on the way out of town, and stop for lunch down the road.”