A Heart Reborn

by BK Harrell

  “Come in, Cole and have a seat. First of all, let me be the first to congratulate you. The list came out today and you made CAPT. I’m very proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished since you were an intern and resident here. Now for the not so great part of the meeting. I know that today isn’t a good day for us to have this discussion, but your number came up again; you’re being sent back to Afghanistan.”

  Cole’s face turned ashen white. “Why me sir? There are many other qualified surgeons even in this department that could do that job and have never deployed once.” Cole tried to mask the anger in his voice but was failing miserably. “Why is it that none of my female counterparts ever have their number come up? Not once since I’ve been here has a single one of them been pulled or at least made to go because the last two that got pulled magically became pregnant and didn’t have to go.”

  “Cole you know this isn’t my decision. You are slated to leave in November so you would start work-ups in late September. If I could get you out of it I would, but my hands are tied. Unfortunately, because of this deployment we have had to pass on you taking over as residency program director. Veronica will assume those responsibilities.”

  “Fuck. I’ll make it really easy on you sir. I’m not going on deployment. Not now or ever again. Ever since that last cluster fuck I was involved in, I’ve kept my life very simple so that I had a clean and easy exit strategy. So, the reality is I quit. You’ll have my papers on your desk in twenty minutes. I expect you to forward them up the chain of command by this afternoon. I realize it may take six months to finish, but I won’t sacrifice any more of my life because it’s inconvenient for someone else to have to go. And as far as my promotion goes, they can take it and shove it up their arses if you’ll pardon my Gaelic.”

  “Cole don’t make any rash decisions.”

  “It’s not a rash decision. I’m tired and this place has finally sucked the life totally out of me. This was just the final straw. No matter what, you’ll have my resignation paperwork shortly. I have a copy waiting for a date and signature because this has been a long time coming. If you’ll excuse me, sir, I will return momentarily.

  Cole walked out of the office madder than he had been in a long-time and he needed to get several things done, but first and foremost was a call to his father, US Senator Conor Ryan. Cole sat down behind his desk and calmed himself down as he typed in the date and printed off his papers. Then he picked up the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. After a few rings.

  “Sen Ryan’s Office, how may I help you?” came the seriously no-nonsense voice on the other end.

  “Victoria, it’s Cole. Is my father in?”

  “Yes, Cole, he is. Would you like to speak to him?”

  “Please. Thank you. “A few seconds went by and Cole heard the distinguished voice of his father and senior senator from Georgia.

  “Cole, what’s wrong son? Victoria said you sounded upset and it is unlike you to call me on the office phone.”

  “Listen dad, I’m fine. Well, not really. I need a favor. I know you sit on the Armed Services Committee and have a lot of contacts over at the Pentagon. I was told today that I was promoted to CAPT, but I’m being deployed again in November, and they gave the residency program director to someone else because of this deployment. I can’t and won’t go back over there. I want to resign my commission effective immediately or as quickly as it can be done. You know I never ask for anything, but I need your help on this. Please.”

  “Cole, congratulations of being selected for CAPT, you deserve it, but I understand your desire to not go back. I can’t promise you that you will be out in a week, but I promise you that you will be out by the end of the year. That way you have time to find a job and take all your leave. With all the leave you have, you should be able to leave at the beginning of October.”

  “Thanks dad. I really appreciate it. I didn’t mean that I wanted to get out next week and thank you for helping to ensure I’m out by the end of the year. I love you and tell Mom I’ll see you guys fourth of July weekend.”

  Cole hung up and sat at his desk looking over the paperwork that represented his freedom from military service. With a stroke of the pen he signed his name and returned the paperwork to his department head. Feeling liberated and freer than he had in years, Cole leaned back in his chair and thought of all the places he could go work at, but only one really struck him as a desire. Going back to Atlanta to work with his friend Dr. Lincoln Montgomery would be a great opportunity, and since he held a license to practice in Georgia not much paperwork would be involved. Dropping his hands to his head, Cole fought back the tears and emotions that were tearing through him. Not only did he lose April, but he lost Jennifer. She’d become a daughter to him and not seeing or talking to her tore at his soul. Perhaps it was just the emotion of the day, or the stress of the shit he was dealing with at work, but this was a long time coming and Cole knew to the depths of his soul that this was the right decision. He would finally be able to leave this portion of his life behind.

  Not knowing whether or not Jennifer would receive the email, or even respond, Cole set about doing what he did at least 4 times a year.

  Dearest Jennifer:

  I hope that this letter finds you doing well and adjusting to your new life. I’m sorry that I don’t know much about it, but I understand your desire to not share anything as you struggle to leave the past behind and forge new beginnings. I think about you every day and hope that you are moving forward. I know that today is a tough day for you and your aunt, but please know that I am thinking about you.

  I visited your mother’s grave this morning and then was informed that I have been selected to return to Afghanistan. I want you to know that I can’t return to that God forsaken wasteland. I have resigned my commission and will be leaving the Navy soon. When I get settled I’ll let you know where I am, and as always if you ever need anything please let me know. You were truly the daughter I never had, but you will always be mine in my heart.

  Love always,

  Cole

  Getting up from his desk, Cole smiled inwardly for the first time in a long time and walked down the hall to take care of his patients.

  Chapter Two

  Sitting at her computer, Jennifer read the words that Cole had written to her. As if the day wasn’t stressful enough, she finally reached a breaking point and allowed the tears to flow down her face.

  “What’s wrong sweetheart?” she heard her Aunt Marcie say.

  “Sorry, Aunt Marcie. I am just stressed about today and sad. I got an email from an old friend and it just pushed me over the edge. I thought he was going to be my dad when he and mom returned from Afghanistan, but it never happened and I haven’t seen him in two years, but every year on this day, my birthday, Christmas, and mom’s birthday, he always writes to me. I wrote back to him a few times. I even invited him to visit, but he always seemed to have an excuse. The last time I asked was at Christmas, but since then I’ve given up any hope that I will see him again. I don’t understand why he won’t visit me unless I didn’t mean as much to him as I thought.”

  Seeing the anguish in Jennifer’s eyes, Marcie walked over and hugged her tightly. “I know this is hard for you. I’m sure that he understands. This has been a very difficult time for all of us, and I’m sure it’s been as difficult on him. He probably blames himself for your mother not coming home, and is concerned that you blame him as well.” Marcie continued to hold Jennifer as she cried herself out. Finally, Marcie released Jennifer and looked at her, “Well I don’t know about you, but let’s get out of here and go away for a few days. I think we could both use a distraction. How about you go pack a bag for the beach and I’ll make some arrangements for us to go away. I have plenty of vacation time and Lincoln can fend for himself for a few days.”

  Jennifer nodded her agreement and left the dining room table to go pack her things as Marcie sat there reflecting upon what her life has become. In no way would she trade cari
ng for her niece but she would give everything she had to have April back and Jennifer with her mom. Marcie reached over for her phone calling the only person she trusted to help her out.

  “Dr. Montgomery… oh sorry Marcie, didn’t realize it was you. What can I do for you this evening?”

  “Hey Lincoln. Sorry to call like this, but I need to cash in a favor.”

  “Marcie, you can call anytime and as long as it doesn’t involve me changing a diaper I’m your man. What can I do for you?”

  “I need to get away for a few days and take Jennifer out of town. With the anniversary of her mother’s death, she is just having a hard time, and to tell you the truth I am too. I need a few days off so I can take her to the beach and maybe play a little golf.”

  Lincoln smiled at his assistant through the phone knowing that she was the most unassuming and independent person that he knew. “Well, I think I can help with that. I’m going to Vegas for a few days to deal with the new acquisitions so I won’t need you and the condo at Sawgrass is empty so you would be doing me a favor and checking on it for me if you wanted to go there. Also, I’ll call the club and make sure all your golf is charged to my account. What do you say?”

  Marcie wanted to jump up and down. “I say thank you. Are you sure you won’t need me for a few days? I mean the new residents are starting soon.”

  “I’ll get Calla to cover. They’ll be so busy they’ll have no reason to come looking for you. Why don’t you stay for a couple of weeks and start back the Monday after July 4th?”

  “Thanks, I really appreciate it. I’ll see you in a few weeks then.” Marcie hung up and went about packing her bags. Making sure that the car was packed including the golf clubs Marcie and Jennifer headed down I-75 on the way to Jacksonville and a much-needed vacation.

  ***

  Cole sat at his computer staring at the response from Jennifer. He was surprised to hear from her but it made him feel better to know that she was adjusting to her new life. Knowing that she was in Atlanta made his decision to talk to Lincoln much easier. At least if he was in the same city, he could put his past aside and see her, maybe even help out. Cole had decided long ago that Jennifer would never want for anything and would ensure that she had her college paid for and a good life. However, to this point he had been unable to deliver on that promise but it was one he fully intended to keep.

  Hearing his phone ring brought Cole back to the present. “CDR. Ryan.”

  “Cole it’s dad. I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

  “No, I was just finishing up charts and thinking about April and Jennifer.”

  “Well I have good news. I spoke to the CNO this afternoon when we were having lunch. He assured me that he would fast track your resignation and ensure that you were out by the end of December. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through all of this, but just know I’ll do whatever I can to support you. Also, your mother asked if you were bringing anyone to the 4th of July cookout. I already know the answer, but I have to ask anyway.”

  “First, thank you so much for dealing with my resignation, and second, you know I haven’t dated since April died. I don’t know if I will be ready to anytime soon if ever.”

  Cole listened to silence for a few seconds as his father gathered his thoughts. Before he could speak his father spoke again, “Cole you know your mother and I love you, but you cannot live your life in the past. April would not have wanted you to do that. We just want you to find the same love and happiness that your brother Evan has found with Kim.”

  “I know dad, and maybe I will, but right now I have no place in my heart for anyone else. Thanks for everything, but I really need to go so that I can get out of here before anything else happens today. Give mom my love.” With that, Cole hung up and looked out of his office window across the river into downtown Norfolk. April always loved this view Cole thought, shaking his head as he got up and headed home to drink away the pain and drown out the memories.

  Get your copy here.

  Books by BK Harrell

  The Doctors of Atlanta

  The Infertile Heart

  A Heart in Remission

  A Heart Reborn

  Sapphire Falls Kindle World Series

  Going...Going...Home

  Going to Get My Heart

  Going to Catch My Flight (Summer 2018)