There's a Word for That

by Sloane Tanen

  She was a little embarrassed she’d slept with him so soon, but she hadn’t had sex in a long time, and, God, it had been fun. Their second night together, after the museum, was even better than the first. He was amazing in bed. Crazy-amazing. She smiled to herself, not wanting to get too excited. She knew she liked him, though; how else to explain her offer to take him to the hospital for his ear surgery after their first night together?

  “Aunt Janine!” Hailey said in a loud voice, elbowing her in the arm. Janine snapped to and saw a gaunt woman dressed in a brocade steampunk jacket and jeans approaching them.

  “I’m Mandy,” the woman said to Hailey, extending a businesslike hand, which Hailey shook heartily. Mandy had a complicated, funky look about her. Her hair was crisp with gel and her makeup was thick, as if she were hiding something. Chipped red nail polish flecked her fingernails. Janine noticed she had on a wedding ring and wondered that Mandy could be somebody’s idea of a good time.

  “Janine Kessler?” Mandy said with a curious grin. “Ransom mentioned your dad but we never thought you’d show up. Where’ve you been hiding? You just vanished.”

  Generally Janine just stared at the floor and denied who she was in these situations. That wasn’t going to work today. Come to think of it, that had never worked. Hailey was staring at Janine now, waiting. “I’ve been around,” Janine finally said, annoyed by Mandy’s question but a little flattered that her presence was appreciated. She picked up her purse and followed them both down the hall.

  Ransom Garcia was on the phone but he smiled and waved them in. They sat, and he carefully watched Hailey as he wrapped up his call. He was a small man in his mid-fifties, white as paper, with thin blond hair. Garcia? Really? He had red-rimmed blue eyes like a rabbit’s and no discernible chin. The office space was big but in no way interesting other than the fact that it wasn’t decorated with framed posters of movies he’d directed. Janine appreciated his lack of vanity—though for all she knew, such peacocking was no longer in vogue.

  “Hi there,” he said, reaching to shake both their hands after hanging up. “Your father and I go way back,” he said to Janine with a genuine smile. “He green-lit my first film.”

  “I had no idea,” Janine said, understanding now why Hailey had gotten through the door. She felt hugely relieved. This was a courtesy for her father, nothing more. They’d be done here in ten minutes, Janine would console Hailey on the drive home, and she’d have her back at the apartment before anybody knew a thing!

  “How’s he doing?”

  “Great,” Janine lied. “He’s doing great.”

  Garcia clapped his little hands together and looked at Hailey. “Have you got something prepared?”

  Hailey smiled and stood up to explain the context for her monologue. “So, this is the scene from the book where Undine tells her husband on their honeymoon how bummed she is that she’s pregnant because now she won’t be able to show off all her new dresses. It really shows how immature and selfish she is. She doesn’t care about her husband or having a family. It’s kind of the essence of Undine. That’s why I picked it.”

  “Good.” Ransom nodded. “Shall we, then?” He gestured for her to begin.

  Hailey looked directly at Ransom. “‘Sorry—you’re sorry? You’re sorry? Why, what earthly difference does it make to you?’” She took a few steps back and slouched, letting her thin arms dangle at her sides. “‘Look at me. See how I look, how I’m going to look!’”

  The girl didn’t miss a beat, flub one line, or hit a single false note. She was dead-on. Hailey ended the scene by burying her face in her hands and sobbing convulsively. On one hand, Janine was so proud that her heart felt like it was going to blow clear through her chest. Hailey was terrific. Her accent was perfect. Her gestures were perfect—a little overdone, but that was the character. On the other hand, Janine was suddenly terrified that her niece was good enough to actually get the part.

  “Hailey?” Ransom asked. He was leaning down and had put a hand on Hailey’s shoulder. Hailey looked up, dry-eyed.

  “Listen, can you do that again, with my wife, Mandy, in the room and without the wig?”

  “Sure.” She pulled off the wig, looking a bit embarrassed. Janine arched her eyebrows at Hailey, enjoying her I-told-you-so moment. “My aunt said it might be too much but I thought my real hair might seem, I don’t know, confusing.”

  Ransom’s eyes sparkled as he took in Hailey’s cropped blond hair. As striking as she looked with the wig, she was like a Madame Alexander doll without it. Janine gazed at her as if for the first time, admiring her coloring. Hailey’s body, which had seemed compact and athletic at the apartment, now looked delicate, as if a gust of wind might blow her away. Aside from her generous mouth, her features were small and perfectly symmetrical. Janine knew it was a face that would translate well to the screen. Based on Ransom’s enchanted expression, he knew it too.

  “Just so you know, we’re not doing it as a period piece,” Ransom explained. “We’re modernizing it.”

  “Oh,” Hailey said. “Should I do something differently?”

  “No, no,” he said quickly, as though he didn’t want to mess her up with direction. “Do it just like that again.”

  Hailey did it again. She did it even better. She dropped the accent when he asked her to, seamlessly morphing from an early-twentieth-century Midwestern social climber to a twenty-first-century bitch. She was an actress. Janine was freaked. Janine was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

  Bunny

  “Let’s take a trip,” Martin said one night. He and Bunny were sitting in the outdoor lounge by a fireplace on opposite recliners. They’d gotten in the habit of talking together after dinner. After lunch too.

  “Oh no,” she said. “I’m staying put. I’ve had enough of your bad ideas. Mitchell was sniffing me for two days after your last boozy inspiration.”

  “Not now.” He sat up. “Later. After we get out of here.”

  “Listen, Martin, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you again. If I squint, I can almost remember why we got married in the first place. But I don’t want to have sex with you. You’ll have to make do with Dale.”

  “For the love of God, her name is Gail, and I don’t want to have sex with you either. Why does everything have to be so loaded? I feel like shaking things up a little. You mentioned loving Italy. Why not go?”

  “Did I tell you that?” she asked, smiling to herself. Bunny did love Italy—Bernini’s library, Claudio Torcè’s carrot gelato, the gardens of Villa Farnesina.

  “I thought it would be nice to take a trip. You know, as friends. All of my other friends are dead, broke, or have told the same stories so many times I can no longer decide which is worse, the cheap Chinese food or the company.”

  “I don’t really have any friends,” Bunny said. “It’s hard when you become—”

  “Famous?” Martin said. “I know. You’ve told me.”

  “I’ve got Ian,” she said, feeling defensive. “My agent. He’s my friend.”

  “Christ. Is that a Muddy Waters hit waiting to be recorded.”

  “It is pathetic. But it’s hard to trust anyone when—”

  “You’re so famous,” Martin said again, finishing her sentence.

  She frowned. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

  “Pardon me. By all means, continue.”

  “Maybe it was,” she said, more to herself than to Martin. “A trip, eh? To Rome?”

  “If you like Rome, sure. It’s a little loud but—”

  “I never go anywhere for fun anymore. But you know something?” She paused. “If I tell you this, you mustn’t tell anyone. Anyone.”

  He held up three fingers in a Scout’s honor salute.

  “I’m a bit blocked.”

  “Constipated?”

  “No, Martin. Blocked as in I haven’t been able to write in some time. A trip might be just the solution. And something to look forward to after all this.” Bunny paus
ed, thinking. “We can keep each other sober eating bread at Capo Boi! It’s an addiction all its own,” she said, her mouth suddenly watering. And then: “But what about your girlfriend? Did you forget about her?”

  “No.” He knit his brow.

  “Well,” she said, intrigued by the idea but compelled to state her terms straightaway. “You’ll have to deal with her, obviously. And of course I’ll have to pay for everything. I’m used to a certain standard, you understand.”

  “So am I,” he said, offended. “I’m not a charity case. I can pay my own way.”

  She shook her head. Men were so tedious. “I don’t think so, Martin. Don’t get your knickers in a twist about it. It’s just the way I prefer it.”

  “I fly first class,” he said. “I can afford my own suite at the Parco dei Principi, thank you very much.”

  Parco dei Principi! Was that the best he could do? She tried to hide her derision. “There’s a lovely boutique hotel where they know me. It’s charming and exclusive. And they don’t let just anyone in.”

  “Of course not. Wouldn’t want to stay in a hotel where they allow anyone who can afford it to stay.”

  “So true. And I fly private. It’s much easier. No press, no snooping photographers.”

  “Forget it,” he said. “It sounded like a good idea.”

  “It is a good idea,” she said, poking him in the arm. “Don’t let your ego get in the way. We’re too old. The expense is nothing to me.”

  Was he really going to let the only wife who hadn’t taken a nickel from him drive him into bankruptcy so he could make a point? Certainly the irony couldn’t be lost on him, Bunny thought. “So, then,” she went on, “two old friends on a trip?”

  Martin moved his jaw sideways, thinking. Bunny could see he was second-guessing himself now. “I don’t know if Gail will go for it,” he said.

  “Do you need her approval? Is she your guardian?”

  “No, but I hadn’t really thought it through. It might be construed as a little disrespectful if I took a grand tour with an ex-wife, one who happens to be…what was the word?” he asked. “Ah, yes, famous. It’s asking a lot.”

  “Pff,” Bunny said. “If she’s too insecure to let you have a bit of fun, she’s obviously not worth the trouble. Are you a man or a mouse, Martin?”

  He looked at her with disapproval. “They pay you for that level of originality? Surely you can do better.”

  Why had he gotten her excited about the idea just to put up roadblocks? How irritating! “Buy her a house or something. Isn’t that the way you do things? My God, why shouldn’t you take a trip with an old friend?”

  “An old wife,” he said. “It’s reaching.”

  Bunny could feel him bending. He just needed a little push. She took out a cigarette and cleared her throat. “Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but you talk about her as if she’s put the fear of God in you. Like she’s your disapproving mother. It’s strange.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m just letting you know how it all comes off to a disinterested party.” Bunny leaned forward and pointed the unlit cigarette between her fingers at Martin. “Throw Momma from the train, Martin!” She laughed, thrilled with her pop-culture reference. “Just for a couple of weeks. What’s a bit of temporary insubordination? What are you so afraid of? I’m certain she’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Certain. Is that your worry? Or does she have you believing you can’t manage without her? That you can’t hail a cab? That you’ll lose your passport if she’s not holding on to it for you?”

  “Hey!” Martin grabbed both sides of the recliner and pushed himself up. “Do you have any idea how many premieres, how many fucking location sets I’ve had to travel to over the years? Ever try getting from LAX to Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea and back in two days?”

  “I can’t say that I have, Martin. No.”

  “Well, I think I can handle myself in Rome, for Christ’s sake.” He sat back down, grinding his teeth. Bunny felt sure she’d discovered the fertilizer from which his relationship with Dale bloomed. That girlfriend of his drew her power from making him feel helpless. Bunny wondered if maybe all his wives and girlfriends had done the same thing, at least as he’d gotten older and it had become a viable strategy. Bunny loathed women who preyed on good men. And Martin, despite his many demons, was a good man.

  “It’s a bit ludicrous, isn’t it?” she asked, opening her Cartier lighter. “Buying into the notion that you’re too feeble to fend for yourself? The Martin Kessler I remember took risks. He built a career championing talent nobody else could see.” Bunny lit her cigarette and smiled. “The same fellow who procured vodka at a drug-rehabilitation center.”

  “Of course it’s ludicrous! Nobody tells me what I can and cannot do!”

  “Well”—Bunny exhaled, smoothing her pants as she reclined—“for such a fierce dog, you’ve been put on a mighty tight leash by Dale.”

  “Gail!” he snapped. Then, in a voice that seemed to startle him with its conviction, he added, “Let’s go to Rome!”

  Bunny clapped her hands.

  “But don’t tell anyone about it yet. Nobody.”

  “Of course not,” Bunny said, bubbling with joy. “Mum’s the word.”

  Hailey

  Hailey was confident walking into the callback with Ransom Garcia. With her mother out of town and Jaycee in school, she had her aunt’s undivided attention for at least two hours every afternoon. She knew she had to make the most of their time together; she’d have to go back to school next week if she didn’t get this part. They’d been running lines at Grandpa Marty’s house. Other than the unexpected and slightly annoying presence of Janine’s kind-of-cute English boyfriend (where he’d come from and what he was doing recovering from an operation in Grandpa Marty’s bedroom, she had no idea), Hailey felt like everything was finally coming together for her.

  She and Janine had made a pact after that first audition: they would work hard on the scene and never mention it to anyone unless she got the part. Obviously, if she got it, her mom wouldn’t be mad at them for being secretive. How could Amanda be mad if Hailey took her to the Academy Awards?

  The problem was that Janine hadn’t told Hailey there would be a casting director, two producers, writers, and a camera guy at the callback! And she definitely hadn’t been expecting to do a cold read before her scene.

  “But I prepared the sides you gave me,” Hailey told Ransom. “I worked on the lines a lot with my aunt. I thought this was a callback for that role.”

  “It is. Of course.” Ransom looked at Davis, the casting director. Davis had a gray beard, a big stomach, and a bald head. Hailey saw Davis roll his eyes. “And we’ll run through that,” Ransom continued. “We just want to know if you can play a bit older. Undine grows older through the course of the story. The actress who plays her has to be womanly. Undine is a seducer. We need to see you do something…sexy.”

  Janine was looking nervous, chewing on her lip. Hailey didn’t know what the hell Janine was worried about—she was the one being asked to pull some theatrical improvisation out of her ass.

  “I’m not so great at improv,” Hailey said. “It’s not really my thing.”

  “It’s not improv,” Ransom said patiently. Janine was just visible behind Ransom, putting her finger to her lips, gesturing for Hailey to be quiet. “You’ll have the script the whole time,” he explained. “You’re just going to read the lines. Stand over there by Guy, on the floor mark, so that you’re facing the camera. When he gives you the thumbs-up, state your name and age and anything else you want us to know. If you don’t want to do that, you can just start the reading. Right, then?”

  “Right,” Hailey said. She was trying not to cry, having trouble even focusing on the words on the page. She knew she was making a fool of herself, but she couldn’t help it.

  “Can we have just a second?” Janine asked. She ushered Hailey out of the big room without waiting for an answer.

  �
��Sure,” Ransom said as Janine was shutting the door behind them, “but we’re on a schedule.”

  Janine walked Hailey to the end of the hall at a brisk clip. “Do not cry, Hailey!” Janine said, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Stop it! You need to pull yourself together. You are auditioning for the lead. This isn’t just about how talented you are. It’s about attitude and professionalism. They need to know that you’re flexible and willing to take direction. Do you hear what I’m saying?”

  Hailey nodded, not listening.

  Janine snapped her fingers. “This is about your maturity as much as your ability, and you are crying. I don’t think that’s what they’re looking for, do you?”

  “It’s a mean trick.”

  “Shit, Hailey. It’s not a trick,” she said, leading her back down the hallway. “Nobody’s out to get you. They want you to be good. Ransom obviously likes you. Everybody who matters is in that room. You could get this part against well-known actors if you show them your commitment and the right attitude. So look over the pages.” Janine’s hand was on the doorknob. “I’ll tell them you’ll be ready in two minutes. Two.”

  Hailey nodded and took deep breaths. She looked down at the pages and saw the names Brick and Big Daddy. The words seemed to unlock a secret code, and she could finally make out what she was reading. It was a monologue by Maggie from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She knew this play! She had helped her mom stage this play!

  She scanned the scene, centering herself, blocking the negative thoughts.

  “I’m sorry,” Hailey said, walking back into the room. “I just needed a minute.”