Who I Am with You

by Robin Lee Hatcher

  He was grinning as he drove past Jessica’s house, but the smile disappeared when he recognized the car parked in his driveway. It was Selena’s car, a bright-yellow Mustang convertible. He hadn’t thought of her since Chad had told him she’d called again, wanting to be reunited. He’d assumed his message of disinterest had been passed along to her, although he’d failed to ask when Chad came to see the Pearson house.

  He parked and got out of his car. He looked into the Mustang. She wasn’t there. No surprise, given how hot it was. He went to the back door, unlocked it, and let Kris out, then walked toward the trees that provided some shade to the backyard.

  “Selena?”

  No answer. No sign of her anywhere.

  “Selena!”

  Where could—A sick feeling twisted his gut as his gaze went to Jessica’s house.

  “Come on, Kris.”

  He started to walk across the field but soon broke into a trot. He wasn’t sure what he feared about Selena’s unexpected visit. All he knew was he’d experienced her nastier side and didn’t like the idea of Jessica being exposed to it. At the back door, he rapped, feeling as if he’d jump out of his skin before his knock was answered. And when the door opened, it wasn’t Jessica he saw but her mom.

  “Hi, Pat.” He’d forgotten until that moment that she was coming to stay with Jessica until after the baby was born.

  “Hi, Ridley. Come on in. Jessica’s in the living room. With a friend of yours.”

  He swallowed a groan as he went inside, and when he saw Jessica, he knew Selena had already been up to no good.

  “Ridley!” Selena jumped up from the sofa. “You’re back.” She crossed the room almost too quickly for him to prepare. “I’ve missed you.” She hugged him.

  Over Selena’s head, he met Jessica’s gaze. He shook his head, praying she understood, fearing she didn’t. Then he firmly but gently moved Selena away from him. “Come on. We’ve taken up enough of Jessica’s time. Let’s go back to my place.” He didn’t give her a chance to say anything to Jessica as he steered her, hand on the small of her back, out of the house.

  They were halfway across the field before she stopped and jerked away from him. “What’s the matter with you?” The artificially sweet smile she’d worn when she first saw him had disappeared.

  Her expression couldn’t be any more thunderous than his own. “What are you doing here, Selena?”

  “I came to see you. I missed you.”

  “Didn’t Chad tell you I wasn’t interested in renewing a relationship?”

  “Yes.” She pouted, looking up at him through long lashes. “But I didn’t believe it.”

  “Believe it, Selena.”

  “Oh, Ridley. Don’t be stubborn. I made a mistake to break things off. So let’s get over it. Come back to Boise. We always had fun together.”

  “How did you find out where I was?”

  “It wasn’t easy. I’ll tell you that.” She tipped her head to one side and smiled seductively. “But I have my ways.”

  He realized it didn’t matter to him how she’d discovered his whereabouts. He simply wanted her gone. He turned on his heel and strode toward her car, not looking to see if she followed. He didn’t believe she’d missed him. And it wouldn’t have mattered to him if she had. She’d done him a favor, giving him his walking papers.

  “Ridley.”

  He yanked open the door to her car. “Goodbye, Selena.”

  “Aren’t you going to even give us a chance?”

  “There is no us. There wasn’t ever going to be an us. We’re too different. We want different things, you and I. I knew it even before you told me to get lost.”

  “But we—”

  “Go home, Selena.”

  Anger returned to her eyes. “I was right about you.” She muttered the same foul name she’d called him the last time they spoke on the phone. Then she slid into the car behind the wheel.

  He nodded as he closed the door. Moments later, the Mustang’s tires threw up a spray of gravel as Selena sped away.

  “Good riddance.”

  He took off for Jessica’s house, only realizing as he reached her front door that his dog hadn’t followed him and Selena. Good. Kris must still be inside with Jessica. That gave him an excuse—if he needed one—for his quick return.

  His knock was answered by her mom’s voice calling out. “Come in.” He opened the door and looked in. Pat Alexander was leaning over Jessica. When she looked up, she said, “Ridley, we need to go to the clinic. Right now. Jessica’s in labor. Help me get her into the car.”

  KUNA, IDAHO

  Sunday, April 5, 1936

  Andrew Michael Henning Jr. was baptized on the first Sunday in April. Little Andy, as he’d been called from the day of his birth, slept quietly through the entire service.

  “Such a good baby,” Helen cooed softly as they left the church after the final benediction.

  The Hennings celebrated the day with a dinner of fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy plus two kinds of pie for dessert. They all crowded around the table, five adults, four children, and one babe in arms, all but the baby talking and laughing, often at the same time. Andrew observed the three generations of his family and felt contentment warm his chest.

  Hard to believe that he’d once been in such a hurry to escape the life of a farmer. The same for Helen. And yet, the farm was where they’d found real life. As individuals and as a couple and a family. It was a good life. Good for themselves. Good for their children. No, he didn’t have the wealth he’d once hoped for. He couldn’t lavish gifts on his kids the way he might like. But he could give them love. He could give them guidance. He could be an example to them. He could share his faith, and he could pray for them.

  It would all be well. He felt it in his bones. They had come through the worst of times. God had brought them into a good land, like the Israelites of old, and now all would be well.

  Chapter 29

  Ridley hadn’t been asked to drive Jessica to the clinic, but nothing would have stopped him from doing so. Not even her mother. He drove his car over to the front of Jessica’s house and left it idling while he raced inside. Jessica was alone in the living room. Standing now, she was bent over at the waist, a soft groan escaping her lips.

  “I’m here,” he said. “I’m ready. Should I carry you to the car?”

  She straightened slightly, and her look seemed to say he was a certified idiot. “No. I can walk.” She inhaled as she straightened.

  “Are you sure?”

  Now she gave him a tight smile. “I’m sure.”

  Pat returned to the living room, carrying a couple of canvas bags on one arm. “I’ve got everything.”

  Ridley put one arm around Jessica’s back and took her hand with his other. They’d only taken a few steps before she had to stop and wait out another pain.

  “They’re coming awfully close together,” Pat said from behind them.

  Ridley didn’t know a lot about a woman giving birth, but he knew enough for that information to make him nervous. When the pain had passed, he got her out of the house and into his car.

  By the time he was in the driver’s seat, Pat was in the back seat. “I called the clinic,” she said, “and they’re expecting us.”

  “Good.”

  He made the drive into Hope Springs in record time, making sure he balanced speed with safety. After all, there was precious cargo in the car.

  There was a nurse waiting for them at the clinic entrance with a wheelchair. Before Ridley knew it, Jessica was in the wheelchair and being whisked away. He’d wanted to talk to her. He’d hoped to explain about Selena and make sure Jessica didn’t have the wrong impression. Most important, he’d needed to tell her he loved her. He needed her to know that. He needed her to know she was as important in his life as the air he breathed. He needed her to know that he already loved her baby, because it was a part of her. He’d waited to tell her, wanting her to be sure about him, wanting to give her time
to learn to love him without any lingering doubt. But he shouldn’t have waited. He was crazy to have waited. He should have told her the moment he’d realized his own feelings.

  He parked the car in the nearest space and hurried into the clinic. He asked for Jessica but was sent to the waiting room. Relatives only with the patient, he was told. What an insane rule!

  He paced. He flipped through a magazine without reading a word or seeing a photograph. He paced. He bought a soda from the machine and forgot to open it. He paced some more. Every passing minute seemed an hour long.

  It was the sound of running feet that drew his attention. Several people whisked down the hallway and disappeared through the same door. A muffled male voice barked orders, words he couldn’t make out but that filled him with tension. He stepped to the entrance to the waiting room and waited, hardly daring to draw breath.

  After what seemed an eternity, Pat Alexander came out of the room, a hand over her mouth. Her eyes found his, and he read fear in them, even at this distance. He strode toward her.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I . . . I’m not sure. Something about the baby’s heartbeat. I don’t know . . . They wouldn’t tell me . . . They made me leave.”

  Ridley longed to break his way into the delivery room and demand answers. Instead, he put his arm around Pat’s back and gently drew her to the waiting room. In silence they sat, side by side, and waited. He took her hand in his, offering comfort while needing some for himself.

  Gaze still locked on the doorway down the hall, he began to pray silently. For Jessica. For the baby. For the doctors and nurses caring for them both. Five minutes passed. Then ten. Then twenty. Neither of them moved. Neither of them let loose of the other’s hand.

  Finally, Pat said, “I should have made her come stay with me. Why didn’t I make her move down to Boise?”

  “Can you make Jessica do anything she doesn’t want to do?” He looked at her.

  “No.” She shook her head. “She has a mind of her own.”

  “I like that about her.”

  “So do I.”

  “Pat?”

  “Hmm.”

  “In case you don’t know, I’m in love with your daughter.”

  “I’m glad, Ridley. Because I believe she loves you too.”

  “If you’re right”—everything in him wanted her to be right—“I’ll never let her regret it. Not ever.”

  She offered a smile before touching his cheek with her fingertips. “I believe you, young man.”

  Footsteps alerted them to the presence of another. A woman in medical scrubs stepped into the waiting room. Ridley and Pat were both on their feet before the nurse could speak.

  “Jessica?” Pat whispered.

  “She’s fine,” the woman answered with a smile

  “And the baby?” Ridley asked, chest tight.

  “She’s fine too.”

  “She?” He grinned, feeling indescribably, perhaps stupidly, happy. He looked at Pat. “She’s fine. They’re both fine.”

  “They’re both fine.” Pat hugged him.

  The nurse motioned with her hand. “Follow me. I’ll take you to them. Jessica’s asking for you both.”

  Ridley hesitated. “They told me relatives only.”

  “That’s during the delivery. Not after.”

  They followed the nurse down the hall, but Ridley hesitated before entering the room. “Maybe you’d better go in first.”

  “She asked for you, Ridley.”

  “But—”

  “Come on.” She led the way into the room.

  Drawing a deep breath, he followed. His gaze went straight to the hospital bed where Jessica lay, a small bundle cradled in her left arm.

  She looked up and smiled, first at her mother, then at Ridley. “Come see her.”

  Ridley had never felt as uncertain as he did at that moment. Uncertain. Half afraid. Still, he moved to the left side of the bed while Pat moved to the right.

  “Meet Hope,” Jessica whispered.

  “Hope.” He lowered his gaze to the infant in her arms. “What a perfect name. But she’s so little.”

  “Six pounds, nine ounces.”

  “She’s got your hair color.”

  “It may not stay blond.” She ran a fingertip over the peach fuzz on the baby’s head. “And she’ll probably lose what’s there.”

  “Really?” He didn’t know that about babies.

  “May I hold her?” Pat asked.

  “Of course.”

  Ridley watched as Jessica passed the baby into her mother’s waiting arms. Pat cooed to Hope. Nonsensical words. Then, after a quick but meaningful look sent in his direction, she moved away from the bed and went to stand near the window.

  Ridley drew a nearby chair closer to the bed, sat on it, and took hold of Jessica’s hand. “I’ve never been so scared as I was when your mom came out of the delivery room. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed as hard either.”

  Her smile was tender. “I knew you were praying. It kept me from being afraid.”

  “Thank God. Because I can’t imagine my life without you in it. If anything were to take you away . . .” His words drifted into silence, the thought of losing her unbearable.

  Tears welled in Jessica’s eyes. Although he hadn’t yet said the words, she felt his love.

  “I wanted to give you plenty of time to be sure about me. To know that I’d never make a promise and not keep it. I will never lie to you, Jessica. Not ever.”

  “Oh, Ridley, I’ve known that about you for a long time.” Then, as tired as she was, she saw the worry in his eyes and understood that there was more behind it than her sudden and complicated delivery. “Are you concerned about what that woman said when she came to my house?”

  “It was over between me and Selena before I ever came to Hope Springs. I need you to—”

  She reached out and laid the flat of her hand on his cheek, stopping his explanation. “I know you, Ridley. I trust you.”

  “Thank you,” he said softly. “But what I really need you to know is I love you.”

  She nodded and let the tears she’d been holding back fall.

  “I love you and want to marry you, if you’ll have me. When you’re ready.” He leaned in and kissed her lightly. “You and Hope, of course.”

  “And Hope?”

  “I’m not just asking you to be my wife, Jessica. I’m asking for us to be a family. You and Hope and me. Will you let me be your husband and her father?”

  The lump in her throat kept her from answering.

  Softly, he asked again, “Will you?”

  She swallowed the lump. “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes.” She smiled and swiped away tears.

  “You’re sure?”

  “I’ve never been more sure of anything, Ridley Chesterfield.”

  KUNA, IDAHO

  Monday, May 25, 1936

  The farmhouse across the road had stood empty for almost four years before it was purchased by Hirsch and Ida Finkel, recent German immigrants to the States. A couple in their early forties with no children, the Finkels were well educated and both able to speak English, although their thick accents sometimes took deciphering on the listener’s part.

  Hirsch hadn’t been a farmer in his native land—trained as a teacher, he’d lost his position because he was Jewish—but he was determined to learn to farm in his new country. Andrew took an immediate liking to his neighbors and tried to advise Hirsch about crops and equipment and livestock. And when Andrew wasn’t talking about farming, he listened as Hirsch Finkel explained what had happened in Germany since the Nazis came to power. The information disturbed Andrew deep in his soul.

  He remembered thinking, on the day of Andy’s baptism, that all would be well, that they had been through the worst. But listening to Hirsch, he began to wonder. He had been a boy when the war to end all wars was fought, and he’d believed others who’d told him that such a thing could never happen again. German
y had learned its lesson, some said. No matter what happened across the oceans, others said, America would never participate in another European war.

  God help them, he wanted all of that to be true, but he had a hard time believing it, thanks to Hirsch Finkel’s personal insights.

  That was when Andrew began to pray in a different way. He broadened his prayers beyond himself and his loved ones, beyond his immediate needs, beyond weather and crops, clothes and shoes, health and happiness. Now, after he prayed for his family and friends, he went on to pray for his nation and for the world, praying for peace for all mankind, all the while knowing that true peace would never reign on the earth apart from the presence of Christ.

  And so each night, he ended those prayers with the same five words. “Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

  It was a prayer that would carry him through a lifetime.

  Epilogue

  Jessica married Ridley in the morning on Thanksgiving Day. While there were some people in Hope Springs who wondered if Jessica had married too soon after the death of her first husband, none of them were among those who actually knew the couple. Their friends and family had watched their love blossom and then deepen, and they rejoiced in it.

  For the wedding, Jessica wore a pale peach-colored dress of satin and lace, and the spacious living room of the New Hope Retreat Center—one week away from opening its doors to clients—was filled with flowers in all the colors of autumn. Her sister stood on her left while Ridley’s best friend stood on his right. Instead of a bouquet of flowers, Jessica held Hope in her arms as she exchanged vows with Ridley. Behind them, family and friends stood witness to the entwining of their three lives.

  Tears filled her eyes as she remembered the bitterness that had sought to separate her from faith, from friends and neighbors, seemingly from life. Only God Himself could have brought her from that place of unhappiness to this moment of joy. Straight into Ridley’s love.