Captivated by You

by Diane Alberts

  “Damn it, I know that. She’s not my girlfriend,” he snapped. His whole world was about to crumble at his feet, a world he never thought he could’ve ever had, and he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it. “She’s one of the women in my life I mentioned who want to use my success to further their career. Nothing more.”

  “I saw the two of you together on the beach,” she cried out, her face turning red. After taking a deep breath, she continued on in a calmer manner, “I saw you kissing her. There’s no faking that.”

  “It was all for the cameras.”

  “Did you play a role tonight? The hero comes back to his small town, looking to screw the girl who used to be so obviously in love with him? I was okay with our arrangement, really. But not this.”

  Love? She loved him? “With you, there has never been, nor will there ever be, a need to act. Everything I said and did. I would never lie to you.”

  His voice broke on the last word, sounding pathetic. He might be able to say all the lines in his movies without breaking, but this wasn’t just a role. This was real life, and he was about to lose the best thing he’d ever known. What was he doing? Why had he gone and selfishly taken advantage of the situation? Taken advantage of her?

  “You’re right. There won’t be a time you’ll need to act around me ever again.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “After tomorrow, I’m never going to see you again. Thanks for the night of sex—now leave me the hell alone.”

  He stumbled after her, his heart breaking in two. He grabbed a hold of her arm, stopping her retreat. “You have to believe me. I’m not seeing Sylvia. I haven’t been seeing anyone for years.”

  “Yeah, I know. You just sleep with them.” She shook free of his hold, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Grabbing her keys off the table, she unclasped the keychain he gave her and threw it in the fireplace. For a second, they both stood there watching the memento burn. She clenched her fists and turned back to him. “I’m finally done with you. Now, you’re free to go back to your girlfriend—fake or real.”

  He ripped his attention from the last sign of her affection for him, burning into ashes in the fire. There would be time to grieve later—but that time was not now. “You can burn everything I’ve ever given you, but it won’t change a damn thing. I don’t want to be with her. I don’t want to be with anyone except you. All this time, and I only want you.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  He growled low in his throat, red tinting his vision. How could he make her see that it was her he wanted? Her, and no one else? “I’m yours, Lacey. Hell, I’ve always been yours. I didn’t want to be with anyone until the second I saw you tonight.” He shoved his hands into his pockets because it was the only way he’d be able to stop himself from touching her. “Something led me here tonight, led me to you. I don’t know if it was fate, or luck. But now that I’m here, now that we’ve reconnected, it’s all I want. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I’ve been in this town the whole time. You didn’t need to search for me. All you needed to do was come home,” she snapped. “You didn’t want to find me, but now I’m supposed to believe you can’t let go of me? That you want me to stay with you?”

  He dragged a hand through his hair. “When you say it like that, of course it doesn’t make any sense. Nothing that’s happened since I walked through that door makes any sense. Neither does love.”

  “Love?” Her eyes went wide, and she yanked free. She shoved his shoulders hard, and he stumbled backward. “Now you’re taking this too far. You don’t love me. How dare you stoop so low? Are you trying to play on my emotions so I’ll go easy on you? If so, Hollywood really has changed you. I don’t even know you anymore.”

  He ran his hands down his face and let out a harsh breath. “I don’t have another word for it. I saw you, and I knew nothing would be the same again. All these years, you’ve never been far from my mind. Never. And I never wanted to hurt you. It’s the last thing I would ever want to do. Eve told me how you were living in a shell ever since Joe. How you wouldn’t let anyone close to you—but you let me in. That has to be for a reason. It can’t mean nothing.”

  “Yeah, well, a lot of good that did for me. I should’ve slammed the door shut in your face.” She swiped a tear away, and his heart twisted. He’d made her cry. “I’m going to my room. I want you to call the tow truck first thing in the morning, and then I want you the hell out of this house.”

  She headed up the stairs, her back straight and her head high. If not for the way she gripped the banister, her knuckles white from the force, he wouldn’t have guessed she was upset at all. He strode to the bottom of the stairs and watched her walk away from him. Watched her leave him.

  He had to try at least one more time. Had to make her see he wasn’t with Sylvia, and his heart belonged to her alone. “I do love you. I don’t have a doubt in my mind. I might be an actor that is good at faking things, and therefore an asshole in your eyes, but I know what I feel. And I know you care about me, too. I know you’re scared to believe me, but I’m telling the truth. I’m not with her. I want to be with you.”

  She stopped at the top of the stairs. “Give me one good reason to trust you.”

  “Have I ever lied to you before?”

  “Yes.” She turned around and met his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You told me you would write to me, and you never did.”

  And just like that, his last shred of hope unraveled and fell to the floor. He couldn’t say anything to that. Nothing that would change her mind. “I’m sorry,” he said, knowing he’d lost. Knowing he had already broken her trust. “I really am.”

  She bit her lip. “It doesn’t change anything.”

  “What can I do to prove myself? Please. Tell me what I can do.”

  “Short of broadcasting it on national television? Not a damn thing.”

  He shook his head. He couldn’t do that. “I can’t say it was a publicity stunt. They’d eat both of us alive, and both of our PR firms would flip.”

  “We couldn’t have anything so horrible happen, now could we?” she asked softly, her hands rolled into fists. “Just go away, and go back to Hollywood where you belong, Mark. You sure as hell don’t belong here anymore.”

  His shoulders drooped as he helplessly watched her stalk down the hallway and into her room. The echo of the door slamming behind her shook him out of his regret and pain. Her words couldn’t be truer. He lived in a world where no one ever told the truth, and every move was calculated and designed for the best possible publicity. The only time he’d ever broken from tradition and did something for the sheer pleasure of it was tonight, in Lacey’s arms. He hadn’t felt so alive in years. Eight long, long years. And now he was supposed to just let her walk away? Now he should go back to living the life of a zombie, as good as dead, with nothing inside of him but schedules, appearances, and movie dates?

  He couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

  Chapter Six

  Lacey leaned against the door, closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her heart hammering in her ears. At least it drowned out the small voice whispering, “He’s telling the truth. Don’t screw this up now.” But when she’d seen him on TV, making out with a perfect blonde, something inside her broke. Some small part of her had been hoping when he returned to bed he’d tell her he loved her, or wanted to try to make their relationship into something real.

  Something more than the fling it was.

  Foolish? Yes. But she couldn’t deny she would’ve been happy to hear him say the words. But instead, she got a cold, hard dose of reality thrown in her face. It was more effective than a bucket of ice water could have been in reminding her how unrealistic her dreams were. Even if they did become a couple, how long until he traded her in for a better, prettier, more famous person? Why would he tie himself down to one boring schoolteacher from Colorado, no matter how close they had been in the past?

  When he dared to mention love to her, she wanted to slam her hands
over her ears and shut him out before he broke what little part of her heart she still owned. She’d been sure it couldn’t fracture more than it already had, but he’d proven her wrong. Apparently, when it came to Mark, she had plenty of heart to go around. Why had he said he loved her? Why did he bother to try and convince her of his love, when he so obviously wasn’t looking to stay in her life?

  Even if he told her the truth about being single, he would still have to return to California. He would still return to the parties, booze, and women. How long would it be before he was naked in someone else’s bed? Hours? Weeks? Months? No, she wasn’t going to put herself through the heartache.

  The doorknob jiggled behind her and she jumped forward in surprise. Reaching out, she fumbled with the lock in an attempt to latch it before he could open the door. But it was too late. Mark shoved through the narrow opening, his jaw hard and his eyes intent on her. She backed away from him, her heart racing. She knew that look all too well. It was the same one he would get when the rival football team came to town. But this was no game, and Lacey was nobody’s prize.

  “I told you to leave me alone,” she said, thankful her voice had come out steady. “I’m done talking to you.”

  He shut the door behind him. “Well, I’m not done talking. If you don’t want to say another word, then don’t. But I’ll talk anyway. I’ve never been one to give up easily, and I’m not about to do so now.”

  He walked toward her, slow and steady, but she backed up more. When her legs hit the bed, she sank down on it and clutched the bedspread in her fists. Stubbornly, she refused to say anything.

  He stopped when he reached the bed, his feet squared off with hers. “I do love you. I’m even willing to wait until you feel the same about me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Gee, how thoughtful of you.”

  “I don’t think it will take very long, because no one can hide their feelings from me. I’m like a human lie detector, and I know you have feelings for me.” She opened her mouth to deny feeling anything but anger for him, but he continued on. “I also know you know I wouldn’t sleep with you if I was with someone else. You know I’m telling the truth, but you won’t let yourself believe me. You know what I think? I think you’re punishing me for not writing to you like I said I would. Punishing the stupid boy I was, instead of accepting me here and now.”

  “I didn’t realize you earned a psychology degree while you were away,” she muttered, staring at her lap.

  “Do you deny that, despite your doubts at first, you realize I’m not with her?”

  She opened her mouth ready to deny the truth. To lie through her teeth. But instead she said, “I don’t even know anymore.”

  He dropped to his knees, looking up at her from the floor wearing nothing more than a pair of black pants. “I love you, Lacey. I’ve always loved you, but didn’t want to be tied down to anyone or anything. I didn’t want a relationship getting in the way of my career, competing with it. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, and I knew it. Even when I got here tonight, I tried to remind myself how selfish it is to want you. To have you.”

  She finally looked at him reluctantly. His eyes were clear and earnest, and she could hear the sincerity in his voice. Was he right? Was she refusing to believe him because she was scared of what would happen to them when he went back to Hollywood? Of course she was.

  But how could a relationship between them work?

  He extracted her hands from the death grip she had on the comforter and kissed her fingers. “I know it’s scary to think about dating someone in the public eye, and I know I’m asking a lot. But selfishly …” He paused, and for a minute Lacey thought he was going to take it all back. She held her breath. “I can’t resist asking you anymore. Having had you, and tasted you, I can’t possibly walk away. I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to let everyone in the entire world know I’m taken, and it’s real.”

  She clung to his hands, unable to believe the words coming out of his mouth. Only one week ago, she’d seen him making eyes at and exchanging sweet nothings with the actress on the screen in his latest film. All the women in the theater melted, and the men rolled their eyes. She had clutched her heart. But this declaration? This blew the other speech out of the water and decimated it.

  “Mark.”

  “Sh. Let me finish before you say no. I have to tell you how much I’ve always cared about you. I wrote you a dozen letters in the first month after I left, each one begging you to come visit me over Christmas vacation. Each one begging you to move to California, be my roommate.” He paused again, seeming to search for the right words. “I-I ripped them all up and threw them away. You had your own life here. You were normal, and fun, and free. Already, within my first year in California, my time was not my own. My time was planned and plotted and calculated. It still is.

  “And I was okay with it. I really was. But being with you for such a short time reminded me what it felt like to be alive. To live life, and laugh, and feel something in here.” He pressed her hands to his chest. “I feel so much when I’m with you, and it’s something I’ve never forgotten. Something I was too scared to examine, even when we were kids.

  “I knew it wouldn’t be fair to start anything because I wasn’t ready to commit to you. I knew if I had held you in my arms, I wouldn’t have wanted to leave.”

  She hesitated, her mind spinning. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That he wanted to be with her? Actually make a go of an impossible relationship? “And now? Now you’re ready?”

  “Yes.” He dropped her hands and cupped her cheeks, pressing a light kiss to her lips. Pulling back, he stroked her jaw with his thumbs. “I’m here, and I can’t imagine wanting to leave your side ever again. I’m ready to commit myself wholly to you, and you’ll never doubt my dedication. Never doubt my feelings. I was not, I repeat, not in a relationship with Sylvia. Nor have I ever been. I’ve been single ever since I walked away from you.”

  She blinked at him. “Wait, what? But Angie—”

  “Fake.”

  “Sandy?”

  “Fake.”

  “Wow.” She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him, unable to believe this was happening. Unable to let herself hope it could work. “But I know how busy you are, and I know you can’t move here with me. And I can’t move to California. My parents are here. My life is here. It can’t work.”

  He shook his head, his jaw tight. “None of it matters. Not if you want to be with me. If you’ll let me show you how happy I could make you be, I promise you’ll want for nothing. I don’t have to live in California. Plenty of celebrities live in different states. Yeah, I’ll have to leave to film movies and go on publicity tours around the world, but I can live here. I can be here, if you want me to be.”

  “You would move here? For me?”

  His lips twitched, and he slid his hands into her hair. “Honey, I would do anything for you. All you have to do is say yes.”

  She sighed. “It would never work. The town closes down at nine at night—when Hollywood is just waking up. The highlight of the season? The Christmas party at school. Santa comes, the kids have a blast, and the whole town shows up. Do you remember how bored you were? If you don’t, I do.”

  “I don’t care about any of that anymore.”

  “You say that now, but wait until you have to drive thirty minutes for a Starbucks. Or twenty to the closest bar. You wouldn’t be happy here.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You’re continuing to tell me how I feel—yet not listening to a word I say about the subject. I’m not the same kid you knew. I’d be happy because I’d be with you. Can’t you believe me?”

  Could she dare to take a leap of faith? Could she not? Her heart sped up as she thought about what they could have together. What they could be to each other. There was no denying he was right about her feelings for him. They’d never died, and now that she’d spent a night in his arms, they never would. If anything, they’d get stronger. It would be much
stronger than a desire, but a need. Even now, she longed to close her arms around him and make love to him again. And again. And again.

  If she said yes, she could have that, and so much more. If she said yes, she’d have his heart and his love. She’d have Mark Delaney.

  “Yes,” she whispered, unable to make her voice louder. She cleared her throat, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed there, and tried again, this time in a louder, surer voice. “Yes.”

  “Thank God,” he said, his eyes shining. “If you’d said no, I might have made a fool out of myself crying in your lap, begging you to change your mind.”

  She choked on a laugh. “No crying necessary.”

  He tugged her close and melded his mouth to hers, his tongue touching hers as soon as she parted her lips. She pulled him closer, laying back on the mattress and bringing him with her, needing to feel his weight on her. Needing to feel him. He tore his mouth free and smoothed her hair off her face. Looking deep into her eyes, he asked, “What are you doing tomorrow? Got any plans?”

  Didn’t he know she had different plans for those lips than mere words? Disappointed he stopped kissing her to talk, she blinked up at him. “Uh, no?”

  She watched his mouth form the words, but had a hard time focusing on the actual words themselves. She shook her head, forcing herself to pay attention. He smiled down at her. “… And you do now. You’re flying to California with me.”

  Huh? “I c-can’t fly to California. I have to watch Tinkerbell.”

  “I’m sure I can get Eve to do it. Come to my premiere with me.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “We’ll buy you an amazing dress.” He kissed the other corner of her mouth. “And killer shoes.”

  This time he pressed a long, hard kiss to her lips, his fingers trailing down her side, and getting close to her breasts. By the time he pulled away, she forgot what he was asking for in the first place.