by Vi Keeland
“Yes.”
“I’m Officer Caruso, and this is Officer Henner. We responded at your alarm company’s request since we weren’t able to reach you to determine whether things were okay.”
“What happened?”
“Seems like it was a false alarm. Your building lost power for a few minutes, and the surge when the backup generator kicked in might have sent a false signal. It’s not uncommon. Your apartment is still locked, and there’s no sign of breaking and entering.”
I felt Owen stiffen next to me when the policeman said breaking and entering. His arm had been on my shoulder as the officer spoke, and he pulled me to him, protectively.
I turned to him. “Did you get all that?”
The officer’s brow furrowed.
“My brother is deaf,” I explained. “He was reading your lips.”
Officer Caruso nodded. “If it’s all right with you, we’d like to take a look inside and just make sure everything is okay.”
They had no idea how all right that was with me. The officer took my keys and asked us to wait outside while they did a search. A few minutes later, they opened the door.
“It’s all clear in here. Like we said, it’s pretty common for power surges to trip these alarms. We just need to fill out a report and get you to sign it, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Thank you.”
Inside, even though the officers had inspected the place, I still needed to do my own search. While they sat in the kitchen and filled out the report, I discreetly did my usual routine. I was good at concealing it, having concealed it from every date I’d ever brought home. Except for Chase.
I took off my shoes as an excuse to open the hallway closet, then shut myself in the bathroom and ran the water to cover my shower curtain check. Finding all clear in the bedroom, I returned to the living room just as Owen opened the front door.
Chase stood in the hallway, bracing himself against the wall as his chest heaved. He looked at Owen and then found me over his shoulder.
“Chase. What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Is everything okay?” He was really winded.
“Yes. Why? What’s going on?”
“The alarm company called. They weren’t able to reach you, and I’m listed as your backup contact. I told them to call the police and came as soon as I could get here. Are you sure everything is okay?”
I opened the door wider so he could see the police in the kitchen behind me. “The police inspected, and they think it was a false alarm from a power surge. The building is old and loses power occasionally. There’s a backup generator, but it takes a few minutes to kick on, and apparently that can cause a surge and a false alarm.”
“Do you want me to double check for you?”
I gave him a reassuring smile, even though I didn’t feel very sure of myself at the moment. His presence was making my already racing heart palpitate. “I’m good.”
Chase looked at Owen, then back to me. His jaw was rigid. “If you need me, just call.”
It would do him good to wonder, so I didn’t mention that the man he was eyeing was my brother.
Instead, I said, “We’ll be fine. But thank you for coming. I appreciate it.”
And just like that, he was gone.
After Owen and the police left, I spent the night tossing and turning, trying to figure out what Chase’s appearance tonight had meant. It was nothing. He probably had a sense of obligation because he was listed with the alarm company. He would have done that for anyone, I was sure. Yet…there was no mistaking the jealousy in his eyes when he’d looked at Owen.
He’d wanted an explanation.
I didn’t think he deserved one.
Since my mind was whirling and not going to let me go back to sleep, I decided to get my lazy ass out of bed. I hadn’t been to the gym in weeks, and the sun was already up anyway.
After a quick cup of coffee, I pulled my hair into a ponytail and threw on some yoga pants and a cropped workout shirt. I grabbed a zip-up sweatshirt from the hall closet before walking out my door.
My eyes darted all over the street before I exited my building. Last night had made me hyperaware of my surroundings. Otherwise I might not have spotted it.
Spotted him.
Sitting on the steps three buildings to my left and across the street was none other than Chase Parker.
He turned his head when he realized I saw him, but I’d know that face anywhere. As soon I started walking toward him, he stood. The air was cold, so I slipped on my sweatshirt as I crossed.
“Chase, what are you doing here?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t expect you to come out so early.”
Noticing his clothes were familiar, I was confused. “Have you…been here all night?”
The look on his face answered for him.
“Why?”
“I figured you’d be nervous. Wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything.”
My gut reaction was to snap I’m fine. But he wasn’t wrong, and his actions—no matter how much I disliked him for the way things had ended—were very thoughtful.
So I held back my snark and instead said, “Thank you.”
He nodded, and his eyes dropped to my exposed stomach beneath my unzipped sweatshirt. It was brief, but I caught it, and he knew I’d caught him checking me out.
“Your date left right after the cops.”
“Is that what you were doing? Spying on me? Because you have no right to—”
“That’s not what I was doing. I didn’t want you to be alone. I wanted to be close in case you needed someone.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and was met with sincerity. “Well, again, thank you.”
As much as I wanted to stay, wanted to tell him I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted him to be with me, I knew I needed to go. I looked down at my feet, trying to think of one reason I should stay. Then I made a last ditch effort.
“Why aren’t you the man for me?”
He stared at me and then did what he’d done every time I tried to get the truth. He looked away.
“Have a good day, Chase.” I smiled sadly and walked away from him. Yet again.
***
That night, I was exhausted but still had trouble sleeping. My anxiousness and constant movement had even sent Tallulah off the bed to find elsewhere to sleep. At one point, around two in the morning, I went to make some Chamomile tea and found Ugly Kitty curled up on the windowsill in the kitchen. I lifted her and started to pet her mindlessly while looking outside. I almost dropped her when I saw him. Same spot. He hadn’t been there earlier when I came in from the grocery store. What the hell was he doing?
I turned off the kitchen light and went to grab my phone. Texting in the dark, I watched to see if he would respond.
Reese: What are you doing out there?
Chase reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He looked up, right at my window, and I jumped to the side out of view, sucking in a deep breath as if that would keep him from seeing me. I leaned enough so that one eye could see what he was doing. After a minute, his head bowed, and I looked at my phone to find the little dots jumping around.
Chase: Just keeping my eyes on the place.
Why does he care? One night after a call from the alarm company and knowing my fear, I could understand. But again? It made no sense.
Reese: Why?
I watched as he stared up at the window for a long time before dropping his head down to text.
Chase: Get some sleep. I’ll be here until the sun comes up.
I went back to my room with my ugly cat and slipped under the covers. I plugged in my phone and turned off the light. After a minute, I flicked the light back on and reached for my phone.
Reese: Why aren’t you the man for me?
A minute later my phone pinged.
Chase: Good night, Buttercup.
I slept like a baby after that. It was after eight the next morning by the time my eyes opened. The fir
st thing I did was go to my window. There was an emptiness in my chest when I found the stairs across the street empty.
But I wouldn’t have to wait long for my bodyguard to reappear. He was there the next night when the sun went down. And the night after that, and the night after that, and the night after that.
Each night we’d exchange a text or two. They were even growing friendlier as the days passed. But it always ended the same way…me asking why he wasn’t the man for me. And him not giving me an answer.
After a week, I finally decided I needed answers, and if he wasn’t going to give them to me, I’d get them somewhere else.
Chapter 35
Reese
He cooed up at me with those big chocolaty eyes that both made me melt and broke my heart. Sawyer looked just like his uncle. Well, technically, he looked like his mother. Only his mother was the spitting image of her brother. Needless to say, all three had been blessed by their gene pool.
“He’s absolutely gorgeous, Anna.”
She scooped baby Sawyer from my arms and positioned him to take a bottle. “He looks just like Chase. Let’s hope he gets his uncle’s brains and not his attitude.”
We’d met at a small Greek restaurant within walking distance from Anna and Evan’s apartment. They must have been regulars because the owner took Sawyer from Anna’s arms the minute she walked in and smothered him with kisses. The restaurant also sent over a half-dozen plates of food without our even ordering.
I’d debated whether to reach out to Sam or Anna but ultimately decided on Anna. Sam was locked up like a bank vault when it came to Chase. Between working for him and being Peyton’s best friend, her loyalty ran deep. That’s not to say Anna wasn’t extremely loyal to Chase. However, I had a feeling she’d do what she thought was best for him, no matter what—even if it meant telling a story he might not have wanted to be told.
“I hope you don’t mind my looking you up and calling.”
“Mind? Call me every day. I love this little guy, but I’m starting to talk in baby talk even to adults. I could use an excuse to get out more often, to make me get out of my sweats and wash my hair before eight at night.”
We made small talk for a while, about the baby, plans for the fall, and even some of the products Parker Industries was working on. I thought I’d have to uncomfortably bring up what I wanted to ask, but Anna beat me to it.
“Can I ask you something personal?” she said.
“Of course.”
“Did my brother do something to upset you? That’s why you’re not together anymore?”
“Yes, actually.”
“I figured. What did the idiot do?”
I deadpanned, “He broke up with me.”
She seemed genuinely shocked. “Why?”
“I have no idea. That’s part of the reason I wanted to talk to you. He broke up with me, and yet he’s sitting and guarding my apartment every night.”
Anna scrunched up her face. “What is he doing?”
I gave her the full story, although even as I told it aloud for the first time, it sounded like parts were missing. Which made me even more certain several parts were… Big parts.
When I finished, the baby had just fallen asleep, and Anna gently set him down in the stroller. I was surprised to see tears in her eyes when she sat back down in her seat.
“It all makes sense now.”
“What does?”
Big drops slid down her cheeks, staining her face. “He feels like he failed to keep Peyton safe, and your biggest concern is safety. He doesn’t feel worthy, but can’t let go.”
The gates opened wide after that. Anna filled me in on everything I’d been missing, from Detective Balsamo to Chase’s walnut knife, and all about Eddie in between. By the time she was done, we were both full-on crying. My heart broke for Chase. It was bad enough to have lost someone he loved, but to find out it was his knife—a knife he’d voluntarily given the man who killed her—made him feel like he’d been the cause of Peyton’s death. Like he hadn’t protected her. Oh God.
Anna and I walked with our arms linked as she pushed the carriage back to her apartment.
“Do you want to come in? Have a glass of wine?” she asked.
“I’d love to. But another day, maybe?”
She nodded. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“You won’t have to. I’m going to keep in touch whatever happens.”
We hugged each other like long-lost friends.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I need to give it some thought. It’s so much to take in right now.”
“I understand.”
“Could you…do me a favor? When you talk to your brother, don’t let him know you told me? I’m still holding out hope that he’ll tell me himself. I think I’ve just been going about it the wrong way to get him to open up.”
“Of course. I hope everything works out for you two. I really do.”
“Thank you, Anna. For everything.”
I walked away finally understanding why Chase thought he wasn’t the man for me. Now I just needed him to realize he was.
***
Chase arrived at nine that night. I wondered if he was even going to work anymore. He was spending all night guarding my apartment building. He couldn’t possibly be working all day.
I left him out there for an hour while I got things ready and then went downstairs without warning.
When I approached him, he stood. “Everything okay?”
“I…just wasn’t having a good night. Mind if I join you for a while?” I held up the plate I carried. “I made cookies.”
He searched my face, clearly unsure what I was up to. Finding sincerity—I was having a bad night—he nodded. “Of course.”
Our conversation was slow at first, neither of us knowing what to say. I asked him about work, and he asked me about job prospects. I gave some vague responses about considering my options, and eventually, I brought the subject around to what I’d come out to share. There was a lull in the conversation, and I took a deep breath and exhaled audibly.
“I don’t know if I locked the door.”
“Tonight?”
I shook my head. “No. When our apartment was broken into. The key was on a long, red ribbon I liked to wear around my neck. I was the last one out, and I was supposed to lock the door. But I can’t remember if I did. That’s why I always check it three times before I leave.”
“You were a kid.”
“I know. And the neighborhood had a dozen break-ins in the weeks leading up to ours. Some had no signs of forced entry. Others had windows and doors broken. It probably wouldn’t have mattered either way. They still would’ve been inside when we came home. The police said if they wanted to get in, they’d have gotten in one way or another.” I shrugged. “But tonight I was trying to remember if I’d locked it again. I used to replay that day over and over in my head, trying to remember.”
Chase put his arm around me and squeezed. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. Just talking to you made me feel better, actually.”
His grip around me tightened. “Come on down anytime. I’m here between sundown and sunup.”
I heard the smile in his voice, and I turned, wanting to see it. I’d missed it so much. For a brief second, the way he looked at me, I could see that everything he felt for me was still there. He’d just buried it so damn deep, I could only catch distant glimpses of it before it was out of reach again.
Figuring I’d pushed as much for one night as I probably should, I forced myself to get up. “I’m going to head to bed. Thanks for listening, Chase.”
“Anytime.”
“I’ll leave you the plate. I figure cops get free donuts, the least I could do was give my bodyguard some cookies.”
I started on my way and then turned back. I was so thrilled to catch his eyes on my ass, I almost forgot what I wanted to say.
“Why aren’t you the man for me, Ch
ase?”
Some day, I’d get him to tell me. Today just wasn’t that day.
***
We went on that way for another week. I’d bring him a snack, and we’d sit and talk for an hour or two on the steps of some random apartment building across the street from my place. Each morning when I woke, the plate I’d left behind was sitting outside my apartment door.
While it was great for my sleep—I’d never slept better, knowing someone was watching over me like a hawk—I began to think he’d never come around. Chase seemed content with our newfound friendship. Me, not so much. So I decided to push a little harder.
It was a misty night, and I’d made him cupcakes. I went outside to offer him his daily snack. He was wearing a windbreaker with a hood, and the craziness of him sitting outside in the rain provided the perfect opportunity.
I opened my golf-sized umbrella and held it over us as I sat on the wet steps.
“Hey.”
“It’s gross out here tonight,” I said.
“Had to happen eventually. We’ve had good weather the last few weeks.”
An unseasonably warm breeze caught the smell of his cologne and reminded me of our nights together. His chest would glisten with sweat, and the cologne he’d put on that morning would rise to the surface. I wanted to lean in and take a deep breath. But I couldn’t. It was frustrating as hell.
Losing my patience, my invitation came out differently than I’d planned. “Just come inside,” I blurted. “You don’t need to sit out here all night.”
It seemed like my suggestion was completely unexpected. Chase just stared at me. Could he really be that blind? Did he think we would just go on forever with him sitting across from my apartment all night and me delivering baked goods?
When he still hadn’t answered, I repeated myself. “Come inside. This is silly. It’s raining out, and I have a perfectly dry apartment just footsteps away. You can stand guard from the couch all night, if you want. Just come inside.”
The nice, friendly face I’d come to expect for my nightly visits transformed, replaced by the stony and distant face he’d used when he dumped me. I knew what was coming next, and I wasn’t accepting it anymore.