Life After Falling
Page 1
Life After Falling
Alyssa Rose Ivy
Contents
Copyright
Books by Alyssa Rose Ivy
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
One Year Later
Afterword
On The Rocks
Carly
Copyright © 2015 Alyssa Rose Ivy
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written approval of the author.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Cover Design: Najla Qamber Designs
Books by Alyssa Rose Ivy
Flight (The Crescent Chronicles #1)
Focus (The Crescent Chronicles #2)
Found (The Crescent Chronicles #3)
First & Forever (The Crescent Chronicles #4)
Soar (The Empire Chronicles #1)
Search (The Empire Chronicles #2)
Stay (The Empire Chronicles #3)
Savor (The Empire Chronicles #4)
Seduction’s Kiss (The Allure Chronicles #0.5)
Lure (The Allure Chronicles #1)
Lust (The Allure Chronicles #2)
Dire (The Dire Wolves Chronicles #1)
Dusk (The Dire Wolves Chronicles #2)
Dawn (The Dire Wolves Chronicles #3)
Forged in Stone (The Forged Chronicles #1)
The Hazards of Skinny Dipping (Hazards)
The Hazards of a One Night Stand (Hazards)
The Hazards of Sex on the Beach (Hazards)
The Hazards of Mistletoe (Hazards)
The Hazards of Sleeping with a Friend (Hazards)
Shaken Not Stirred (Mixology)
On The Rocks (Mixology)
Derailed (Clayton Falls)
Veer (Clayton Falls)
Wrecked (Clayton Falls)
Beckoning Light (The Afterglow Trilogy #1)
Perilous Light (The Afterglow Trilogy #2)
Enduring Light (The Afterglow Trilogy #3)
www.AlyssaRoseIvy.com
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One
I don’t like cats. At least I didn’t. I particularly hated the fluffy white one my fiancé had bought me as an engagement gift. He knew I didn’t like cats, but somehow he thought buying me one would change that. It didn’t change anything, yet when I walked out of our shared apartment for the last time, Fluffy was securely in his carrier ready for the trip to his new home. Steve offered to keep him, a quasi-attempt at a peace offering, but Steve couldn’t have Fluffy. Hate the cat or not, he was mine.
“What is that?” Mom asked as I barged through the doorway of my childhood home. I say barged, because she hadn’t exactly opened the door for me. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t tell your parents you’re moving back in. But how do you do that anyway? When you’re twenty-seven years-old, how do you tell your parents you’ve quit your job, broken off your engagement, and oh yeah, plan to sleep in your old bedroom for a while?
“That’s Fluffy. You two have met before.”
“Yes.” She peered into the front of his carrier. “I suppose I should have said what is he doing in my house? And while you’re at it, care to tell me what you’re doing here? Not that it isn’t a wonderful surprise to see you.” She brushed a few strands of her caramel brown hair behind her ear.
“Yeah… about that.” I wished I were one of those people who could come up with creative and hilarious ice breakers for moments like this, but I wasn’t. “I might as well level with you.”
“Level with me?” She crossed her arms in a very un-mom like gesture.
“I’m unemployed, single, and homeless. I thought I’d stay with you guys for a while.” I walked around her while carrying Fluffy and rolling one large duffle. I’d have to go back out later to get the rest of my stuff from my old Camry.
“Stop.”
“What?” I turned back feigning innocence. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
“There’s plenty I want to talk about, but that’s not why I stopped you.”
“You’re not going to let me stay?” In all of my planning—meaning the twenty minutes I’d put into the plan—I’d never considered my parents saying no.
“Of course you can stay for a few days while you figure things out with Steve, but that’s not the problem.”
“What’s the problem then?” I decided not to explain that I planned to stay more than a few days, and there was absolutely nothing to figure out with Steve.
“You can’t stay in your old room.”
“Why not?” I set Fluffy down. He meowed in protest, but he was going to have to deal.
“Because we turned your bedroom into my yoga and Pilates room.”
“What?” The handle to my duffel fell onto the hardwood floor. “Where’s all my stuff then?”
“In the basement.” Mom gestured to the bright white door. “We set up your bed down there too.”
“In the basement? You threw all my stuff in the basement?”
“Don’t get so bent out of shape. It’s partially finished down there now.”
“Partially finished?” I raised an eyebrow. That was news.
“Your brother has been working on it.”
“Nile is finishing the basement?” I didn’t bother to hide my surprise. “Since when does he, uh, finish things?”
“He finishes plenty.”
“I mean build things. Whatever.” My brother had never built anything in his life as far as I knew.
“He’s been helping out Clay. He’s a contractor now, you know.”
“Clay is? Oh.” The last time I’d seen my brother’s best friend he was getting high in the backyard. Now he was a contractor? It’s funny how much people can change.
“Don’t you go getting all judgmental. You have plenty to explain yourself.”
“And I will. I’ll explain everything, but we’ve had a long trip.”
“We?” Mom narrowed her eyes.
“Yeah. Me and Fluffy.”
“You hate that cat.”
“Oh well.” I picked up his carrier and my bag. “Mind getting the basement door for me?”
Mom sighed. “What’s going on, hun?”
“I’ll tell you everything tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s not even seven o’clock. Your father is still at work.”
“Which is why I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I might as well tell both of you at once.”
“Are you sure?” Real concern crossed her face, and for a moment I considered spilling it all out to her, but I didn’t.
“I’m sure. Thanks for letting me stay.”
She held open the door for me. “At least let me get you a snack or something to drink.”
“I’ll take a glass of whatever wine you guys have open.”
“I didn’t mean that kind of drink.”
“I’m allowed to drink alcohol, Mom.” I gritted my teeth.
“I know, but it usually isn’t a good idea to drink when you’re distressed.”
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“Actually, that’s when it’s the best idea.”
“Cassidy, I’m your mother. I know what’s best for you.”
“I know.” I kissed her on the cheek while awkwardly balancing the cat carrier and my bag. “See you tomorrow.” I started down the stairs.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re not going to do something stupid?” She followed me down.
“I’m not going to kill myself, Mom. Is that what you’re worried about?”
“It seems to happen more with your generation.”
“I’m making some life changes, not ending mine.”
“Good. You’ll tell me if you ever have thoughts like that?” She picked at her perfectly manicured nails in the way she only did when I made her nervous.
“We had this conversation when I was fifteen, you know.”
“I know.” She opened her mouth like she was going to say more, but she closed it. “Whatever decisions you’ve made, you can always fix them.”
“There’s nothing to fix. Goodnight.” I continued through the basement in search of the semi-finished area she’d talked about. It turned out semi-finished meant exactly that, part of the basement had been finished with no clear stopping point. There was no door, just my old twin bed and matching furniture sitting there with boxes all around it. At least there was a new bathroom a few feet away.
“You’re welcome to sleep in Nile’s room if you prefer.” Mom followed behind me.
“You’re only offering that now?”
“You seemed intent on seeing your stuff. Besides, this is the best place for Fluffy.”
“You want me to leave the cat alone in the basement?”
“Yes.” Mom didn’t mince words.
“Maybe tomorrow night.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
She turned and headed back up the stairs.
I waited until I heard the door close before setting up Fluffy’s portable litter and opening his carrier.
I flopped down on the bed. “Is this really what my life has come to? Sleeping in the basement of my parents’ house?”
As if in answer Fluffy meowed.
“At least we have each other, Fluff.” He ran off to the other side of the room. “Great. Thanks for the pep talk.”
Two
“Cassidy?” Dad’s voice woke me up with a start. What time was it anyway? The area of the basement I was in didn’t have windows, which meant it could have been the middle of the night or practically noon for all I knew.
I blinked away the last remnants of sleep. “Hi, Dad.”
“Can I come in?” he called from the top of the stairs.
“It’s your house.”
“I’m trying to respect your privacy.”
“Come on down.”
He flipped on some lights on his way over. “How are you doing?”
“I’m sleeping in your basement.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I see that.”
“I’m fine though. I already assured mom my mental health is intact.”
“Do I need to kill Steve?” There was a trace of seriousness to Dad’s voice that made me pause.
“No. No need to kill him. I’m the one who left.”
“But you left for a reason…” Dad was dressed in his usual attire of a dark suit with a blue tie.
“Not a reason to kill him over. I just needed to do it.”
“And your job? You didn’t actually quit, did you?”
“I did.” I’d quit in a way that meant I wasn’t going back. It also meant I probably wasn’t getting a reference out of my two years of working at the company.
“Why?” he asked while straining to keep his face expressionless. I could see the struggle in the worry lines around his eyes.
“Because I want to like myself again.”
“And you don’t like yourself now?”
“No. Not really.” I smiled. It felt good to say that out loud.
“Doesn’t it seem like you’re making too many changes at once? Couldn’t you have started with only one?”
“But I wanted to change both.”
“Do you like yourself better yet?”
“I only quit yesterday.”
“Well, keep me posted.” He patted my legs before standing up.
“That’s it?” Dad wasn’t the most verbose, but I’d expected more of an interrogation.
“Mom’s going to ask enough questions for both of us.”
I glanced down at my clothes from the day before. I probably should have changed before going to sleep. “You going into work?”
“Yes. It is a work day.”
“Is that supposed to be a jab at me?” I swung my legs out of bed and moved to the edge.
“Not a jab. Just a reminder. I’ll see you tonight.” He walked back up the stairs.
I sighed. I didn’t know how I expected them to act. It’s not like I thought they were going to be jumping up and down about me moving back in.
“Fluffy?” I called out. He tended to hide a lot, but I needed to make sure he at least ate something. I filled up his food and water before digging through my bag for my toiletries and a change of clothes.
I wasn’t sure what kind of shower to expect in the new basement bathroom, but at least it was close by. I had to give kudos to my brother and whoever did the plumbing. The shower was nice. It was also hot, and I could have stayed under the warm spray forever. That is if my mother hadn’t come down.
She knocked on the door. “Cassidy? You okay in there?”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
“You sure? You’ve been in there a long time.” Her voice lilted. She was probably already setting me up an appointment with a therapist.
“I like long showers.”
“We need to discuss plans for the day.”
I reluctantly turned off the water. “I don’t have any plans.” I knew my mother well enough to know she wasn’t going to walk away.
“Well you can’t sit around the basement all day.”
“I figured you’d let me come up to the main floor. You know if that’s okay.” I toweled off.
“Very funny, Cassidy. I offered up Nile’s room already.”
“But that’s Nile’s room. I don’t want to sleep there.” I pulled on a worn in pair of jeans and a light pink t-shirt.
“You prefer the basement?”
I opened the door. “I need to go through some stuff anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s my stuff.” I loved my mom, but she didn’t always get me.
“At least come up and have some breakfast.”
“I’ll be up in a little while.”
“I already made you a hair appointment with Connie.”
“What?” And I thought she’d have gone directly for the shrink.
“Have you looked at your hair recently?”
I touched my wet hair that fell a few inches past my shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m going to wear it in a ponytail anyway.”
“Your appointment is tomorrow. I couldn’t get anything for today, but I can try again if you want.”
“No. Tomorrow is fine.” Arguing with her wasn’t going to help anything. It was better to just agree to the path of least resistance.
“Well, come up when you’re ready.”
“I will.” I brushed out my hair. I didn’t know what my mom was talking about, my hair looked fine. I’d had it cut recently… well, six months recently.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. I just need some time to figure out my next step.”
She put her hands on my shoulders. “Take all the time you need.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Why would you say that?” She dropped her hands. “Why does everything have to be this way with you?”
“I’m being realistic. You don’t actually mean that.”
“No. I don’t mean you can spend months living here, but I’m
also not rushing you out the door. You are going to have to tell me what’s really going on though.”
“I hated my job. I hated my life. Is that what you want to hear?” I held my arms out in frustration.
“Since when? I thought you loved being an attorney?”
“When have I ever said I loved it?”
“You’re smiling in your photo.”
“In my photo?”
“Yes. The one on the website.”
“That’s because I had to be smiling.” If my mother was judging my well-being from my professional head shot, she was the one who needed help.
“They paid you well.”
“They did, but they should have been paying me in blood.”
“Cassidy!”
“It’s true.”
“It’s a reputable insurance company. Why would you say that?”
“Because I was paid to help them screw people out of money when they were sick.” I looked away from her and from the mirror.
“That’s not what you were paid to do. You know that.”
“Do I?” I crossed my arms. The steam had dissipated, leaving a chill in the room.
“What are you going to do instead? Something more public interest?”
“I don’t know. That’s the point. I need time to think.”
“And Steve? Should he have been paying you in blood too?” She arched an eyebrow.
I groaned. “No. It just didn’t work out.”
“And you decided this after accepting an engagement ring?” She ran a finger over her own ring. The ring she’d been wearing for over forty-years.
“He wasn’t the one for me. Can’t we leave it at that?” I wasn’t ready to go into any more details yet.
“For now.” That meant she’d be asking me more about it soon.
“Great. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Okay.” She stood looking at me for a moment before turning back toward the stairs.
I let out a deep breath. Maybe the worst was over.
I walked over to the tower of boxes next to my bed. Each was perfectly labeled with Cassidy: Bedroom. My mother was nothing if not meticulously organized.
I opened the first one. It was full of stuffed animals that had seen far better days. I moved it to the floor and opened the next one. This one was full of old journals and papers. I didn’t need to go there. Not yet at least. That would be good fodder for a cry when I was feeling sorry for myself later. The depressing poetry from middle school would be the best part.